Who here is autogynephilic?

[kneehighs]

Quote

"Autogynephilia (AGP) is a sexual interest in feminine embodiment. "Auto" refers to the self, "gyne" refers to femininity, and "philia" refers to love. AGP can be thought of as a sexual orientation which, like other sexual orientations, can lead to strong emotions and sentiments which resemble those of conventional love in some people."  

There are 5 types of autogynephilia, according to Phil Illy. 

• Anatomic AGP—having a woman’s body
• Sartorial AGP—donning women’s fashion
• Behavioral AGP—behaving like a woman
• Physiologic AGP—having a woman’s bodily functions
• Interpersonal AGP—socially being a woman

Surprised this topic hasn't received any attention here over the last 2 decades. I brought up in the topic "Autogynephilia in women" in the For Everybody section.  Here's a link to a popular book Men Trapped In Men's Bodies.

I know for me, I'm mildly autogynephilic.  Specifically sartorial (80%) and anatomical (20%). My autogynephilia is secondary to my heterosexuality though. My AGP is about 20% of my sex drive maximum while my heterosexuality is 80% minimum.

Ultimately, the closer I can get to embodying the femininity of the women I sexually desire, the more aroused I become.  For me, there's a definite sensual and erotic motivation to having my body hair laser removed, wearing heels, wearing perfume and basically dressing exactly like a woman I find visually attractive.  

Yet, I've never fantasized about transitioning MTF. Nor have I ever fantasized about being with a man.  I'm very direct with my partners (and current partner, singular) about my AGP.  Almost all are supportive. 

What's your opinion, good or bad, about autogynephilia?

 

Edited November 14, 2023 by kneehighs

[pebblesf]

I think this is great indeed.  Helps differentiate the various interests...  Can help to dissolve foolish stereotypes as well

[Shyheels]

I simply like the styling of some, but by no means all, types of high heels. It’s no more complicated than that, at least not in my case. There’s a certain pleasure in flouting convention, but that pleasure has nothing to do with the fact that heels are perceived to be feminine. In my case it is more a kind of schoolboy delight in breaking some arbitrary rule - and a defiant self expression. In addition of course to the cool styling 

[kneehighs]

1 hour ago, pebblesf said:

I think this is great indeed.  Helps differentiate the various interests...  Can help to dissolve foolish stereotypes as well

Yeah, everyone has a different motivation for wearing heels for sure. 

1 hour ago, Shyheels said:

I simply like the styling of some, but by no means all, types of high heels. It’s no more complicated than that, at least not in my case. There’s a certain pleasure in flouting convention, but that pleasure has nothing to do with the fact that heels are perceived to be feminine. In my case it is more a kind of schoolboy delight in breaking some arbitrary rule - and a defiant self expression. In addition of course to the cool styling 

Are you familiar with Jung's 12 emotional archetypes?  Nike's use of the Hero Archetype phrase "Just Do It" (hero), the US Army "Be All You Can Be (hero), Star Wars (good vs evil, hero). Archetypes transcend socioeconomic and geographic cultures.  "The Rebel archetype personifies defiance, nonconformity and a desire for change. Rebels challenge the established norms and conventions, usually pursuing some form of justice or freedom."  I'd say that's you!  

 

 

[Shyheels]

Yup - bohemian, libertarian, right down to my boot soles (and heels)

[pebblesf]

9 hours ago, pebblesf said:

I think this is great indeed.  Helps differentiate the various interests...  Can help to dissolve foolish stereotypes as well

PS:  I guess I am "sartorial"...

[HappyinHeels]

Good topic. Whilst a love of heeled fashion is the common link among us the spectrum indeed extends beyond just footwear. Whether mixing certain articles like wedge sandals and a handbag with bootcut jeans and a polo shirt to go shopping or dressing fully en femme to visit some city friends or attend an outdoor wedding this experience is thoroughly relaxing and exhilarating at the same time. It’s simply a way to create another canvas. Some write or paint or play sports. I do all three of those, spend time outdoors and know what’s edible and to make use of what’s around me. But I also adore women’s fashion. Dresses,skirts, skinny jeans, wedge heels, pumps and boots, nail color, women’s watches and rings and makeup it all interests me. And none of it makes me gay nor on the road to some surgical solution. Women don’t have to check a box nor justify why they wear what they wear they just do it. As I’ve said before we are here for a limited engagement so we had better enjoy as much of it as we can. HinH

[kneehighs]

8 hours ago, pebblesf said:

PS:  I guess I am "sartorial"...

Cool.  One can use the Lover Archetype to define it.  The Lover Archetype makes the autogynephilia more understandable.  

2 hours ago, HappyinHeels said:

Good topic. Whilst a love of heeled fashion is the common link among us the spectrum indeed extends beyond just footwear. Whether mixing certain articles like wedge sandals and a handbag with bootcut jeans and a polo shirt to go shopping or dressing fully en femme to visit some city friends or attend an outdoor wedding this experience is thoroughly relaxing and exhilarating at the same time. It’s simply a way to create another canvas. Some write or paint or play sports. I do all three of those, spend time outdoors and know what’s edible and to make use of what’s around me. But I also adore women’s fashion. Dresses,skirts, skinny jeans, wedge heels, pumps and boots, nail color, women’s watches and rings and makeup it all interests me. And none of it makes me gay nor on the road to some surgical solution. Women don’t have to check a box nor justify why they wear what they wear they just do it. As I’ve said before we are here for a limited engagement so we had better enjoy as much of it as we can. HinH

Interesting. Full en femme only appeals to me in private settings when a girl is treating me like her "Barbie". Beyond that, it has zero appeal to me. 

[mlroseplant]

23 hours ago, kneehighs said:

Ultimately, the closer I can get to embodying the femininity of the women I sexually desire, the more aroused I become.  For me, there's a definite sensual and erotic motivation to having my body hair laser removed, wearing heels, wearing perfume and basically dressing exactly like a woman I find visually attractive.  

 

I have always said that since I find women attractive, why wouldn't I want to emulate them? It is quite true that I have never tried going full "dress," or even close to it. I suppose if I were younger, I might see things a little differently.

[kneehighs]

40 minutes ago, mlroseplant said:

I have always said that since I find women attractive, why wouldn't I want to emulate them? It is quite true that I have never tried going full "dress," or even close to it. I suppose if I were younger, I might see things a little differently.

Pretty much the same sentiment here.  My emulation goes to the specific wardrobe style of girls I'm most attracted to: classic and preppy.  So yes, I dress to be attracted to myself, to a certain degree.

I think I remember reading a post of yours where you mentioned in your younger years people mistook you for the opposite sex? Was that euphoric for you?

[pebblesf]

7 hours ago, HappyinHeels said:

Good topic. Whilst a love of heeled fashion is the common link among us the spectrum indeed extends beyond just footwear. Whether mixing certain articles like wedge sandals and a handbag with bootcut jeans and a polo shirt to go shopping or dressing fully en femme to visit some city friends or attend an outdoor wedding this experience is thoroughly relaxing and exhilarating at the same time. It’s simply a way to create another canvas. Some write or paint or play sports. I do all three of those, spend time outdoors and know what’s edible and to make use of what’s around me. But I also adore women’s fashion. Dresses,skirts, skinny jeans, wedge heels, pumps and boots, nail color, women’s watches and rings and makeup it all interests me. And none of it makes me gay nor on the road to some surgical solution. Women don’t have to check a box nor justify why they wear what they wear they just do it. As I’ve said before we are here for a limited engagement so we had better enjoy as much of it as we can. HinH

Well said indeed

[Shyheels]

Well said indeed!

And it’s certainly true, women’s fashions are far more interesting, more colourful, more expressive than men’s which tend to be puritanical and repressed. Who wouldn’t prefer it?

Ive always felt free to borrow any colour and make it my own - the heels and tall boots took a bit more of a build up to do, but I think I’ve found my personal style.

There are certainly other feminine fashions that I like, and envy in a way, although when it comes down to it, I feel about them much the way I do looking at grand houses and castles - they’re more interesting to observe than to be in them.  Although to be fair, I’ve never tried them out

[mlroseplant]

23 hours ago, kneehighs said:

Pretty much the same sentiment here.  My emulation goes to the specific wardrobe style of girls I'm most attracted to: classic and preppy.  So yes, I dress to be attracted to myself, to a certain degree.

I think I remember reading a post of yours where you mentioned in your younger years people mistook you for the opposite sex? Was that euphoric for you?

I think there was only one time, and that was only because a salesman at some Big Box store approached me from the back, and I had long hair at the time. I remember having no real reaction to it one way or the other. I do remember thinking to myself, "Dude, quit apologizing. It's not that big of a deal."

I notice there is no category for wishing to move like a woman, which is entirely different from "having a woman's body" or "having a woman's bodily functions." Then again, not just any woman will do when it comes to finding motion in the physical world attractive. I have been trying for quite some time to adjust my walk to my preference, with some amount of success. This carries over somewhat to my construction life as well.

[kneehighs]

4 hours ago, mlroseplant said:

I think there was only one time, and that was only because a salesman at some Big Box store approached me from the back, and I had long hair at the time. I remember having no real reaction to it one way or the other. I do remember thinking to myself, "Dude, quit apologizing. It's not that big of a deal."

I notice there is no category for wishing to move like a woman, which is entirely different from "having a woman's body" or "having a woman's bodily functions." Then again, not just any woman will do when it comes to finding motion in the physical world attractive. I have been trying for quite some time to adjust my walk to my preference, with some amount of success. This carries over somewhat to my construction life as well.

Maybe that would be classified as behavioral?

[mlroseplant]

There seems to be no category for "Having a woman's aesthetics." Perhaps that is an artificial construct. Actually, the whole thing seems like a rather artificial construct. I'm not going to be too critical, as I haven't actually read the book, but my basic question is, "Whose body? Whose fashion? Whose behavior?" It's not like there is one sweeping set of characteristics that we can slap on all women worldwide. You have to view this attraction through the lens of your own cultural and personal biases. For example, I do not attempt to emulate the woman I work with at the present time. It's not that I don't like her, it's not that I think she's ugly (I do, and she's not), it's just that my vision of the feminine look/aesthetic does not really match up with the way she presents.

[kneehighs]

I agree with you about "women's aesthetics" being relative to time, space, and culture.  Femininity as distinct from the female sex. This is literally the old "nature versus nurture" debate that has run in psychology for decades.

I do think if we lived in a world where 2 buttons on a coat was for women and 1 button was for men, autogynephiles would want the coat with 2 buttons.  

[flavio]

After all those years trapped in "men's" clothes and shoes, I started my transition to clothes and shoes I want to dress, in my daily life, about 2 years ago. I regret not being able to do so before with a feeling of lost time, but it's part of who I am.

I think it's important to understand yourself, having names or accronims to put you in one of the "boxes" society has created makes it easier to some individuals.

If it's the case for you, you're not doing harm to anyone else, your partners and the ones you love to have around are ok with you, go for it, live your life, be what you want to be, smile, move forward.

I have "crossdressed" before, it was good. Dressing as a regular man, feels ok too.

Dressing as I want to dress - that's premium. Mixing "women's" and "men's" wardrobe is just amazing for me, makes me feel alive.

I don't have a name of acronym to describe what I am. Some say non-binary. I can live with that. But I'll always be Flavio.

It's always good to read you kneehighs.

Keep safe,

Flavio

 

[Bubba136]

This entire subject is,in my mind, a waste of time.  Granted, there is a number of individuals afflicted with sexual confusing situations with a burning desire to unravel and understand the “why” they are the way they are, I am not one of them. 

Way back in my younger days, when I was still questioning my desire to wear “girls shoes,” I did have a curiosity as to why this desire was so strong.  In my early teens, after many hours of research in the school library and becoming more confused with the explanations, I decided that this was a condition I was never going out grow and that the desire would never go away, I would just have to accept it because it was to strong to ignore.  Besides I was beginning to understand that wearing “girls shoes” and high heels 👠 was just a natural part of my nature.

It was at this point that I made up my mind that I would accept that this was the way I was constructed and would never again try to quit.  I understood that there were situations where I could not wear my heels but would wear them whenever possible.

As far as crossdressing, I did try crossdressing a few times (one time with disastrous consequences).  However, the process was so tedious, choosing garments and doing makeup and then undoing it, too me, wasn’t worth doing. I strictly stick to wearing only stockings and occasionally a garter belt because, in my opinion, high heels require stockings.

[kneehighs]

1 hour ago, flavio said:

After all those years trapped in "men's" clothes and shoes, I started my transition to clothes and shoes I want to dress, in my daily life, about 2 years ago. I regret not being able to do so before with a feeling of lost time, but it's part of who I am.

I think it's important to understand yourself, having names or accronims to put you in one of the "boxes" society has created makes it easier to some individuals.

If it's the case for you, you're not doing harm to anyone else, your partners and the ones you love to have around are ok with you, go for it, live your life, be what you want to be, smile, move forward.

I have "crossdressed" before, it was good. Dressing as a regular man, feels ok too.

Dressing as I want to dress - that's premium. Mixing "women's" and "men's" wardrobe is just amazing for me, makes me feel alive.

I don't have a name of acronym to describe what I am. Some say non-binary. I can live with that. But I'll always be Flavio.

It's always good to read you kneehighs.

Keep safe,

Flavio

 

Good to see you around Flavio. For me, autogynephilia clarified some of my motivations.  Made it easier to explain to my dates etc.  

19 minutes ago, Bubba136 said:

This entire subject is,in my mind, a waste of time.  Granted, there is a number of individuals afflicted with sexual confusing situations with a burning desire to unravel and understand the “why” they are the way they are, I am not one of them. 

Way back in my younger days, when I was still questioning my desire to wear “girls shoes,” I did have a curiosity as to why this desire was so strong.  In my early teens, after many hours of research in the school library and becoming more confused with the explanations, I decided that this was a condition I was never going out grow and that the desire would never go away, I would just have to accept it because it was to strong to ignore.  Besides I was beginning to understand that wearing “girls shoes” and high heels 👠 was just a natural part of my nature.

It was at this point that I made up my mind that I would accept that this was the way I was constructed and would never again try to quit.  I understood that there were situations where I could not wear my heels but would wear them whenever possible.

As far as crossdressing, I did try crossdressing a few times (one time with disastrous consequences).  However, the process was so tedious, choosing garments and doing makeup and then undoing it, too me, wasn’t worth doing. I strictly stick to wearing only stockings and occasionally a garter belt because, in my opinion, high heels require stockings.

If it's a waste of time then why did write a wall of text for an answer

[pebblesf]

40 minutes ago, Bubba136 said:

This entire subject is,in my mind, a waste of time.  Granted, there is a number of individuals afflicted with sexual confusing situations with a burning desire to unravel and understand the “why” they are the way they are, I am not one of them. 

Way back in my younger days, when I was still questioning my desire to wear “girls shoes,” I did have a curiosity as to why this desire was so strong.  In my early teens, after many hours of research in the school library and becoming more confused with the explanations, I decided that this was a condition I was never going out grow and that the desire would never go away, I would just have to accept it because it was to strong to ignore.  Besides I was beginning to understand that wearing “girls shoes” and high heels 👠 was just a natural part of my nature.

It was at this point that I made up my mind that I would accept that this was the way I was constructed and would never again try to quit.  I understood that there were situations where I could not wear my heels but would wear them whenever possible.

As far as crossdressing, I did try crossdressing a few times (one time with disastrous consequences).  However, the process was so tedious, choosing garments and doing makeup and then undoing it, too me, wasn’t worth doing. I strictly stick to wearing only stockings and occasionally a garter belt because, in my opinion, high heels require stockings.

Well, I wouldn't say the topic is a waste of time....

But, I hear ya Bubba, for sure!  I have often wondered if my love of womens' boots was something I was hardwired with, or something I learned.  Wasted too many of my younger years trying to ignore it, punishing myself needlessly.  One thing is so true, my desires can not be ignored for sure.  I don't really crossdress, although would love to try some tight leggings, but fear my chicken legs won't support that look very well.  Love wearing my boots as a guy, in levis, with leather and gloves.  My most "disastrous" outing was when I tried to wear my black crotch high stiletto boots out while in Vegas.  The heels are just a little too high for me to handle, fumbling, having to stop and rest while outside, I'm sure I looked foolish.   

Fortunately, I finally reached the age (some years back), where I really don't give a crap about what others might think.  All I know is I love wearing my boots, and think I do look good in them.  Thanks to all the guys here that helped me along the way.   Heels/boots are for everyone..

[Bubba136]

46 minutes ago, kneehighs said:

Good to see you around Flavio. For me, autogynephilia clarified some of my motivations.  Made it easier to explain to my dates etc.  

If it's a waste of time then why did write a wall of text for an answer

Flapping my gums.  ;-

[Shyheels]

I don't think it is at all a waste of time. It's generated a lot of responses and some interesting discussion. Like others here, I wondered for a long time if my desire to wear heels and what are perceived to be women's boots was erotically based - indeed I assumed it must be because that is the widely enforced stereotype of any male who wants to wear heels or boots, and I was too self-conscious about it all to question these things or consider them dispassionately. I just looked at everything through the prism of society's stereotypes and expectations.

Once I decided - very self consciously - that I would indulge myself and buy a pair of heels I pretty quickly came to realise I liked heels and tall boots for pretty much the same reasons women liked them - cavalier styling and elegance - to which I, as a male, could add edginess and defiance.  Until I started wearing heels and tall boots though, and opened myself to the fact that I liked them, and let go the weight of assumptions, I assumed there must be erotic element to it because society said there had to be.

In some - perhaps most - cases there is and there's nothing wrong with that either. But I do think it's a useful topic for discussion.

[mlroseplant]

Let's face it--at a basic level, most of the things we do in life are a waste of time. Including visiting this website. Doesn't stop us much, init?

[Shyheels]

Nope! Some wastes of time are more enjoyable than others 

[Bubba136]

23 hours ago, kneehighs said:

Good to see you around Flavio. For me, autogynephilia clarified some of my motivations.  Made it easier to explain to my dates etc.  

If it's a waste of time then why did write a wall of text for an answer

Flapping my gums.  ;-  please don’t take my response as criticism.  I was relating my personal experience.  The psychological aspect/question as to “why” we engage in this practice is always present.  I recognize that each individual has their own unique circumstances and each of us must follow our own curiosity to a point we are satisfied with what we have learned. Or just accept the situation without further thought.  Seeking an explanation or reason can be exceedingly frustrating.  I found it to be.  And, as a result, I chose to accept my desire it is and not to chase any further explanation.

[kneehighs]

1 hour ago, Bubba136 said:

Flapping my gums.  ;-  please don’t take my response as criticism.  I was relating my personal experience.  The psychological aspect/question as to “why” we engage in this practice is always present.  I recognize that each individual has their own unique circumstances and each of us must follow our own curiosity to a point we are satisfied with what we have learned. Or just accept the situation without further thought.  Seeking an explanation or reason can be exceedingly frustrating.  I found it to be.  And, as a result, I chose to accept my desire it is and not to chase any further explanation.

I appreciate your sensitivity to feelings of being criticized.  The secondary explanation provides a lot more context.  

[mlroseplant]

My totally unscientific hypothesis (and I stole this from somebody on here, but don't remember who) is that some people are born with the High Heel gene. I do not believe that this gene is slanted more toward the female side of the spectrum, either. It's just that the addition of a Y chromosome causes the High Heel gene to be latent, or recessive. Sometimes the presence of this gene causes other changes in surrounding genetic material, and sometimes it doesn't. Some of us are in it for the heels only, and some of us like the Whole Nine Yards.

[Shyheels]

I think in the main it’s just the natural variety in human tastes. Some people like the colour orange, or spicy food, or prefer jazz to classical music. Some like the jaunty styling of high heels. Declaring heels to be feminine is an arbitrary construct and not even historical consistent, any more than pink being a girls colour and blue being for boys.

I like certain styles of heels, but by no means all. And prefer boots to shoes. That’s just me. These are all idiosyncratic and personal tastes, unique to me as yours are to you.

To be sure there will be people with more pronounced feminine leaning and those people will be directed by society’s stereotypes to styles that are perceived to be feminine.  

[ohnoberty]

We really do live in a society now of labels for everything and especially labels about us. Labels for our mental state, labels relating to gender, sexuality, diversity, ethnicity and so on and so on, it only seems right that these 5 listed above should be there too. But when will this category appear on a regular questionnaires?

 

[Pumped]

You can add all five of those terms to the description of me!

I cross dress, right down to fake breasts and hip padding. I have considered gay relationships, but never acted on it. I have thought about transitioning, but just a thought,as I don't see it ever happening. I have felt like I am straddling the fence between male and female ever since I was a young child. I started dressing around five years old. I love presenting as a woman. For some reason it is very comforting to me to dress. fortunately for me I have a very accepting wife and spend many evenings dressed. Often I just want to say the heck with it and dress 24/7/365, but I realize it would be a huge shock for friends and family and it would turn my and my wife' world upside down so I keep it under wraps at home.

I read an article from a legit source on this a few years ago. The article explained there is much more to male or female than the X and Y chromosomes. Just like you can be a man at 5'5" and 125 pounds, or 6'6" and 250 pounds, or be a tiny woman or some big hulk of a woman. The X and Y is just the start of it. There is more genetic material that "creates" the male or female us. It isn't a simple "line in the sand".

On the other hand I feel for the confused people that have to deal with it. I feel confused about my gender every day. I have come to accept I am male, but have some female floating around inside of me. Many people have it much worse than me.