More Than Seven Months Later. Another Discret Guy Want To Try Again Heels In Public.

[jim102]

Hi. You remember me? The guy that had trouble with the half of it`s family. I finally decided to start again but not with boots this time. With court shoes I was supposed to. I had and still have that big  public anxiety but time has gone and I wanna try again to feel good.

 

I just had to return back a discontinued heels because I switched from 8.5 to 9. It was shellum model from call it spring.

 

I posted in the attachments the meldina model from the website. I hate the decoration behind the shoe but evrey shoe has it bad side.

 

I decided to not take patent heels because it is too style. Simple  leather would be ok. I still have that fear of being seen but once I will get through it I will feel better in myself.

 

I`m curious how many guys here took so much time to pass the level?

 

I will make a topic from clothes with them to see what good clothes will show me less worst than it appear for folks.I have also a chinease female  friend aware of my heel pleasure. She accepts and can help me with clothes but she does not agree with men in heels but she said me to not take care of her comments if I do not like.

 

 

 

[Thighbootguy]

 I still have that fear of being seen but once I will get through it I will feel better in myself.

 

I`m curious how many guys here took so much time to pass the level?

 

 

Jim;

 

The key to getting past the fear of being seen in heels is a two fold solution.

 

First - Assume that people will see and notice you are wearing heels.  Now you have to figure out how to deal with it.

 

Second - Look at yourself wearing heels in a full length mirror.  Make sure you like what you see!  If you don't like the look, keep working on it (different clothes) until you do like the look.  If you never like it, don't go out in heels.  When you do like what you see (I mean REALLY like it) then have confidence in your judgment and head out into the world.  If you are realy confident that you look good, that confidence will radiate from you and others will pick up on it.  People wll see a guy in heels that is "strutting his stuff" and not a guy in heels that is trying to hide.

 

The issue is you having confidence in the image you are presenting.  It took me several years to figuer this out, after that it has been nothing but fun.

 

TBG

[Steve63130]

Great advice, TBG!

 

Steve

[Shafted]

Great advice, TBG!

 

Steve

I'll second that.

[jim102]

Hi. I could not resist I finally went taking them! I will asks a man to cut that ugly decoration at the back and paint the heel in black because small lines I am not able

[Steve63130]

I really like that strap. It adds interest to the shoe and I don't think it's particularly feminine because the strap is wide.

 

Steve

[Histiletto]

Hey jim102,

 

The reality of this situation is that you have a desire to wear a particular style of footwear that most men haven't been wearing for the life span of most people who will see you. So you are going to get those demeaning comments and/or snickers/laughs when others become aware of your wearing high heels. You have to develop a sense of humor and prepare a potential scenario list of things that could occur, to figure out how you are going to turn any negativity into a positive experience for you. Controlling other people attitudes and opinions is impossible, but you have the power to decide what actions you will present. As Thighbootguy pointed out, your personality and confidence can be that positive factor to generate the diminishing or even eliminating the bad experiences and turn them into letting people know how happy you are and how good you feel in choosing to wear high heels with your selected apparel. You know what styles you like and the way you want to portray them. Women have struggled to gain their spotlight for wearing almost anything the fashion industry has produced, including heels, and men will have to bear the same type of struggles to increase their access to the selections of appareling items they choose to adorn with.  

[mtnsofheels]

Good Advice TBG, that works for all of us no matter how we wear our heels/boots/shoes.

Histiletto ,really good points as well, reality is that even girls go through similar worries about how they present themselves

in public, like all the time. Just as one's wife asks for confirmation about an outfit they are wearing, they ask us for confidence

and approval to make it work for them in their minds. We also need to have some of that as well, it just may come from other people

and not the loved ones near us.  Keep going Jim102!

[Bassheels]

Can't fault the advice here, esp. from TBG. Once you have a complete look you are confident & feel comfortable with, you'll be able to handle any comments & looks a lot easier as well. 

[jim102]

I just get good comments from you in here but around me nope. Even the girl I chat with  everyday does not like. And she says no women are attracted by that. So I told her I have enough of those bad comments and the bad mentality of societies we have. It has been 4 years I started buying heels and make my steps and I can understand it is not easy for our mind but I cannot live with a part of my mind that is really in love with heels and the other who has the opposite! Each day I think other`s negative opinions in my head none accept or likes it is their problems. They miss something god. They missed a bonus in their lives. Enough is enough! I  try to integrate them in my life to remove that bad habit of so much useless worries.

 

Heels will not avoid me to get girlfriends. The proof is you have women in your life! I just do not get their bad mentality! For me I cannot believe what they can say to me. It is just shoes it is not a transexual experience!

 

I guess you too have enough of the others!

[ilikekicks]

Jim :

 

Maybe try and meet some new people with new perspectives, new outlooks. If the crowd your with now doesnt care for your style, find a different crowd.

[krazykev64]

I have said it before so I will say it again.  If you want to get over your fear of wearing heels in public you need a reason.  The best reason is to do it for charity.  You will be amazed at the support you get.  If your heels are a fair height say around 5 inches you will feel even better.  Just wait until you have women come up to you and tell you that you have sexy legs.  You wont want to take your heels off.

The secret is NOT to hide the heels.  SHOW THEM OFF

Here is a picture of me and my mate raising money for Children in need 2013.  I am wearing a pair of yellow 6 inch stiletto platform sandals.  My mate started off with a pair of 5 inch stiletto sandal boots but his heel tip broke off so he had to put his trainers back on.

So come on.  Its only two months to go.  Get a couple of yards of spotted material to make a skirt and get fundraising.  You will love it and get over the fear of going public

[jim102]

I already wear high heels in public. I do that for my own pleasure. I just do not go where my family have the habit to go. Like walmart I go to another one! Not interested for charity and in my city there are no men in heels for charity. I do not need that everyone in the whole family would be aware of that. I do not want to explain to more and more and more people of the my mother and her people. They do not know and do not deserve to know. I do not want avoiding Christmas or other events for that. I wanna wear them in peace and unknown and I have already had a lot of troubles last time and I do not want to hear opinions of others.

 

I just got enough of all those crap bad opinions. So I have managed to reduce my anxiety and it is better like that and do not need more and fights!