shyguy Posted December 6, 2003 Share Posted December 6, 2003 OK, this is what happened about a week ago.... As many of you regulars know my wife doesn't like me wearing heels, or even any shoes meant for women, but occasionally lets me try hers. Last week we were sorting some stuff out for the dump ready to move. We had several heavy items to go to the car, and my own shoes were buried under some bags of rubbish. So mrs shyguy says here put on these to quickly run some stuff to the car and hands me her (not high heeled, but definitely heeled, and definitely hers) shoes (from Next http://www.next.co.uk similar to below pic) So I put them on, and start taking out bags. A couple of neighbours stop for a chat and one wants a chest of drawers so it's off to hers to deliver. Not a word about the shoes. Half an hour later we are cleared of rubish, and I mention to mrs shyguy the lack of reaction from any of the neighbours about the "womens" shoes I was wearing. A possible step forward in her acceptance just took place .... P.S. I know they're not the most feminine shoes, but I'm working slowly towards wearing them out on a trip if she allows it, as they look good with jeans He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes. Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Shoe Posted December 6, 2003 Share Posted December 6, 2003 Don't worry, as she finds out that you're not going to get beaten up for wearing heels (probably her primary fear), she'll be more tolerant. She will probably never like it but at least she'll let you wear less obvious shoes on occasion. Graduate footwear designer able to advise and assist on modification and shoe making projects. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unknown Posted December 7, 2003 Share Posted December 7, 2003 At least you're onto a good start. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heelfan Posted December 7, 2003 Share Posted December 7, 2003 Well done Shyguy! Why not come on one of next year's Heel-Meets. That would REALLY get your confidence and your heels going! Cheerfully yours, Heelfan Onwards and upwards! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WarrenB Posted December 7, 2003 Share Posted December 7, 2003 Those are so stealthy. Women have a thing about men being 'not women'. Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, I'm from the Earth.Now wearing HH Penny Loafers full time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
genebujold Posted December 22, 2003 Share Posted December 22, 2003 Interesting events... Yes, people are caring less about what other people wear. After decades of mohawks, facial (and everything else) piercing, club wear, and rabid lesbian cross-dressing transexuals (figure that one out - I can't...), seeing a guy wearing a pair of discrete shoes with heels a bit taller than normal really doesn't attract a lot of attention... Oh - and someone posted the link to http://www.avenue.com and their Cloudwalker line - terrific! And thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigJ29 Posted February 23, 2004 Share Posted February 23, 2004 i'm new to wearing highheels and i would like to be around other guy's that wear highheels too can anybody tell me where the heel meetings are held u can Email me with the information if u like bigj29@earthlink.net let me know asap thank you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shyguy Posted May 6, 2004 Author Share Posted May 6, 2004 Dunno if it means anything, but after much cajoling my wife eventually gave me those shoes (in the first post) as she stopped wearing them after I said they were very masculine for womens shoes, although she still held out for a loooooong time They are now in my wardrobe, but she is still adamant I can't wear them often and definitely not outside. Little by little though Now to convince her the stilettos I want are really masculine too, think she'll go for it He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes. Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
larry Posted May 6, 2004 Share Posted May 6, 2004 Hello shyguy. Congrats on your sucess. Although i'm more into stilletos, I would love to wear those shoes out doors. I think that I understand your situation. My wife freaks out at the very thought of me wearing any type of womens shoes outside of our house. I just count my blessings on what I can wear in doors... Good Luck....Larry. Love those heels! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
genebujold Posted May 7, 2004 Share Posted May 7, 2004 Don't worry, as she finds out that you're not going to get beaten up for wearing heels (probably her primary fear), she'll be more tolerant. She will probably never like it but at least she'll let you wear less obvious shoes on occasion. I think perhaps shame might be a bigger issue. From the lay counseling I've done it appears to have a significantly greater impact on a wife's responses to her husband's behavior than her concern for his welfare (although that is important as well). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawn HH Posted May 8, 2004 Share Posted May 8, 2004 Shyguy:-) Does your wife realize that there are over 1300 people on this board that wear heels? That you are not the only one? Well, at least she is letting you start with low heels for now and maybe if you push the envelope ever so slowly---well, one can only hope for the best for you. As I said before, HANG IN THERE! Cheers--- Dawn HH High Heeled Boots Forever! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sscotty727 Posted May 8, 2004 Share Posted May 8, 2004 Shyguy, You could try this, it worked well with my wife. She knows I hate shopping and usually grumble when she wants to go (especially if it is a mall that is a long drive away). I made her a deal recently that as long as I can wear my heels, I will take her anywhere for as long as she wants and she can buy whatever (within reason;). She said, ok, sure:) Scotty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SF Posted May 8, 2004 Share Posted May 8, 2004 Shyguy, Keep wearing those heels. I have worn womens shoes (flats) since I was 16 years old (mid 40's now). About 7 years ago I began to wear heels, I wish I had started sooner. The first few times out I was a nervous wreck, but with each time out I felt more comfortable. Now I go out in heels feeling very confident. Fortunately I have a wonderful wife who is OK with me in heels, and that makes things even better !! I still have not seen any other guys out here in California in heels, I wish more guys would wear heels in public. SF... "Why should girls have all the fun!!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawn HH Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 Sscotty727:-) That was a smart move you made making a bargain with your wife to wear heels more often. The thing women love best to do is SHOPPING. Just so she doesn't hit your wallet too hard. SF:-) I am glad to see that your wife is going along with you on wearing heels. The more you do it, the more fun you have, the more practice you get, the more you want to do it, the more CONFIDENT you become. I'M in the situation you are in right now. Keep street-heeling. Cheers--- Dawn HH High Heeled Boots Forever! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shyguy Posted May 9, 2004 Author Share Posted May 9, 2004 Thanks for all the tips guys, and all the encouragement. I've tried most things already, blackmail (you want those new shoes, I want some stilettos sort of thing), safety in numbers (look how many guys on this site wear heels, and they look ok don't they?). I have tried the in your face look at what I got on now approach with her boots, shoes. And as stated even the you wear my stuff so it must be ok if I wear yours. This is the closest yet, I have been grudgingly given these shoes for my wardrobe, to wear occasionally on my own in the bedroom, and less frequently keep them on when she is there. But it's a step forward from NO WAY Still trying to get her to let me try on some stilettos from a catalog and send them back though He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes. Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sscotty727 Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 Shyguy, I usually wear my Stilletos during "private" time with the wife She notices how much more, ahem, "attentive" I am when wearing the heels. She is now the one that usually says "do you want to wear your heels"? Scotty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shyguy Posted May 9, 2004 Author Share Posted May 9, 2004 Yeah my wife said I seem calmer and more relaxed in a pair of womens shoes heeled or otherwise, but she still says she prefers manly ..... Until we are arguing then I need to calm down and be less aggressive He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes. Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawn HH Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 Sscotty727:-) "Do you want to wear your heels?". Now that's progress. WOW!!! Just hang in there. It seems that your wife is softening up a little. Congratulations to you AND your wife. Shyguy:-) Slow progress is PROGRESS!!! Your wife will eventually realize that a manly man can also wear heels. Like I said---"Your wife is a tough nut to crack". I will expound---"As water will wear away a resisting rock over time---so too your wife will be worn away until she says---Do you want to wear your heels". A squeeky wheel eventually receives the grease. I'm just so profound this evening---Tee! Hee! Cheers--- Dawn HH High Heeled Boots Forever! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeffM Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 I am curious about the concept of high heels making a person calmer. Is that why all our movie heroines are always so calm in the most adverse situations, because they wear high heels? Jeff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawn HH Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 JeffM:-) The jury is still out on movie stars being calmer by wearing high heels. Cheers--- Dawn HH High Heeled Boots Forever! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
genebujold Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 Yeah my wife said I seem calmer and more relaxed in a pair of womens shoes heeled or otherwise, but she still says she prefers manly ..... Until we are arguing then I need to calm down and be less aggressive Since she prefers manly, give her manly! Search www.zappos.com for a pair of Harly Davidson boots. Hopefully they come in your size (10 and below). But they're still heels! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
genebujold Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 JeffM:-) The jury is still out on movie stars being calmer by wearing high heels. Cheers--- Dawn HH I would have to agree. All the ones I've ever seen on the silver screen were usually the ones that went... Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeffM Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 If you guys learnt to read I actually said movie heroines not stars. By heroines I meant those from movies like Batwoman with Michell Pfiefer and others similar. I didnt mean those who just like to look beautiful, I know they arent calm except maybe when they are acting. It was a send up of you guys becoming calmed by wearing heels. It didnt work. Jeff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shyguy Posted May 16, 2004 Author Share Posted May 16, 2004 The latest in my saga is that my wife has agreed to let me try a pair of stilettos from a catalog and send them back afterwards, and she suggested it Will let you know if it happens or not..... He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes. Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawn HH Posted May 17, 2004 Share Posted May 17, 2004 Shyguy:-) I know that your wife suggested sending through a catalog to purchase a pair of stilettos for you to try on. Now on the surface this sounds like you are making some progress with her. If this is true---I'm happy for you. BUT---trying them on and sending them back seems like a lot of trouble just for a few seconds of good feeling them on your feet. What happens when you look down at your feet in those glorious looking and feeling stilettos and then they are wisked off your feet and packed up for shipment back. To me this seems fruitless. It's like feeding a juicy piece of meat to a lion and as soon as he gets his tongue on it you zip it away from him. Why wouldn't she let you keep them and enjoy them? It's only a pair of shoes for crying out loud. Cheers--- Dawn HH High Heeled Boots Forever! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba136 Posted May 17, 2004 Share Posted May 17, 2004 That sounds pure "T-old" stupid, Shyguy! Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mickey S. Posted May 17, 2004 Share Posted May 17, 2004 Since she prefers manly, give her manly! Search www.zappos.com for a pair of Harly Davidson boots. Hopefully they come in your size (10 and below). But they're still heels! @genebujold[/all]: I wonder if there's something similar like zappos having size 10+ available plus world-wide shipping on the styles they offer. They got some great styles that could easy be worn by men on a daily base without drawing too much attention... CU! -Mike Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shyguy Posted May 17, 2004 Author Share Posted May 17, 2004 It's a step forward from "no way not ever" So I'm being positive about it. He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes. Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sscotty727 Posted May 17, 2004 Share Posted May 17, 2004 When you get them, just ask her if you can keep them instead of sending them back and that you will ONLY wear them now and then. I agree, the trouble of getting them and mailing them back isn't worth the effort. Good Luck, Scotty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shyguy Posted May 18, 2004 Author Share Posted May 18, 2004 Hi Sscotty and all, When you get them, just ask her if you can keep them instead of sending them back and that you will ONLY wear them now and then. That was all part of the long term plan anyway But she is often in the room as I visit these forums so I didn't dare say it at the time. Added info Order was placed today by my wife for 3 3/4" stilettos He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes. Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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