Cultural Differences pertaining to men in heels.

[LuvyourShoes]

I was wondering from an ethnic standpoint what struggles everyone deals with. Out of curiosity, does any ethnicity feel any more/less pressure from their race when it comes to wearing high heels or any other women's shoes. For example, I am a black male. I am 6'2" 230 with an athletic build. I feel as though I would be judged more harshly from black men and women for wearing heels and "decreasing" my masculine stature. I feel as though African Americans are extremely judgmental toward one another. Everything is about how much better you are than the next person, from clothes, to cars, to the music that is mainstream in our culture. The point I'm getting at, is that for me, I feel as though wearing heels will be seen as giving up my masculine nature by these people. Its funny that I don't feel the same pressure from white, hispanic, asian, etc., but only with other black people. I promise I'm not starting this thread to step on anyone's toes, I'm just curious of what experiences you have had with this and what advice you can give me to get over myself! Thanks!

[CassieJ]

I always thought the opposite. I admire the fact that black people tend to wear clothes that are more colorful and sometimes more 'out there' than others. Specifically, on Sunday I see guys in great purple suits and pin stripes. Black women wear the most outrageous shoes everyday that a white girl would only wear to the most formal events. I can understand the masculinity thing but from a fashion standpoint, I think blacks have looser rules.

[Dr. Shoe]

For example, I am a black male. I am 6'2" 230 with an athletic build.

That's old!!!

I feel as though I would be judged more harshly from black men and women for wearing heels and "decreasing" my masculine stature. I feel as though African Americans are extremely judgmental toward one another. Everything is about how much better you are than the next person, from clothes, to cars, to the music that is mainstream in our culture. The point I'm getting at, is that for me, I feel as though wearing heels will be seen as giving up my masculine nature by these people.

Its funny that I don't feel the same pressure from white, hispanic, asian, etc., but only with other black people.

I promise I'm not starting this thread to step on anyone's toes, I'm just curious of what experiences you have had with this and what advice you can give me to get over myself!

Thanks!

I have noticed that there are only a very, very few black transfolk around. In fact I think I have only ever met maybe 2 black TVs and 1 black TS.

I really do think that there is much more pressure on you guys to be tough and macho but on the other hand blacks do tend to be more overtly fashionable than whites. Think Hendrix looking cool in a mauve boa where a white guy would have looked like a prat.

[maninpumps]

Funny this thread should come up. Just this past weekend in a club in Louisville Ky.I was enjoying a drag show with my wife and a few ladies from work. What surprised me was all the crossdressers and female to male crossdressers. The one that sticks out most was the one in the wheelchair . There were quite a few Black and Hispanic . Everyone seemed to be having to much fun to be judging one another. For me the best part was wearing my open toe pumps all night. I did get a lot of compliments.

[LuvyourShoes]

I always thought the opposite. I admire the fact that black people tend to wear clothes that are more colorful and sometimes more 'out there' than others. Specifically, on Sunday I see guys in great purple suits and pin stripes. Black women wear the most outrageous shoes everyday that a white girl would only wear to the most formal events.

I can understand the masculinity thing but from a fashion standpoint, I think blacks have looser rules.

Odd, right?

I have seen some hilarious things in my time, dont get me wrong... The brightest oranges, purples, pinks, etc, but heels on men is something that is harshly frowned upon.

Great point though.

[ubermick]

I suppose the bright colours are purely a cultural thing (as the topic of this thread goes to), simply standing out from the next guy. Heels, however, are still globally looked on as a mark of femininity, and when a guy wears them, the social implications jump out. "He thinks he's a woman, he wants to be a woman, he's gay." LYS, I can see how it'd be harder for a black fella than white - I work with a lot of black ladies, and amongst the single girls, the story is always the same: "Why can't I find a strong, black man?" Strong always comes first. I dunno - maybe it's a subliminal thing? After all the shite that black people had to go through in America, maybe deep down they feel like they need protection, which means the "manlier man" the better?

[skirtedvik]

For the record - Hispanic is not a race!Either you refer to Amerindian people or mixed race (mestizo - white and Amerindian mixed).Spaniards and their unmixed descendants are white folk,though Mediterranean type mostly.It is not completely off topic I think since we talk about culture and I am from Eastern Europe,but have always wondered how in the U.S. spread this racial nonsense.

[roniheels]

Not to throw a curve ball on this very good thread, but LuvyourShoes, does the pressure you feel when you where high heels overcome your urge to wear high heels in public in front of your peers? There is a cafe that I eat breakfast at on a regular basis when I am out in public wearing high heels. There are many, what some might label "rednecks" (white men and black men) that also dine there. I know whenever I get up to leave and walk out, I get the silent stares and silly grins from all of them. And I'm sure when I get outside, the comments are flowing. But that does not deture me from wearing high heels and wearing high heels in public. I don't care what they think of me, that's their opinion. But I also notice that I am quite a bit older than you are, and maybe age has something to do with your feelings. But, believe it or not, I do remember when I was your age.

[ilikekicks]

Hmmm.. How to put this.. I dont question my ' masculinity ' at all. Neither do those whom know me or work/have worked with me in the past.. Im a skinny ( medically underweight ) long haired white boy. On the occasions I have been ' out and about ' its always with a babe or female friend. Im pretty sure most people believe its just 2 women out for a walk. Ive been called ' miss ' when approached from behind before even when not wearing heels, just my regular sneakers/athletic footware. That being said, of those that DID notice I was ' male ' and wearing a pair of heeled boots, there really werent that many comments. The only ' bad ' comment I could really think wasnt a comment, it was a whistle/cat-call by a group of white guys leaving a bar. My friends are of the ' variety ' type. One of the couples I hang out with.. the wife asked me to wear a pair of heels and skinny jeans to her house to try and ' shock ' her husband. They are ' African American '. When I met her husband dressed as such, he kind of smiled and asked me ' Will you be here long? I need to call some of the brothers up, they aint gonna believe this! '. His wife ( my friend ) stopped him but.. he was more surprised then insulting. In fact, he asked how I could walk in the shoes I was wearing. He wears a mens size 15-16 and stands over 6 and a half feet tall. He doesnt have a real chance of finding out for himself. Honestly, they guy really couldnt care less. I wish I had more to offer but.. as for ' African Americans ', especially the women that I have run into while out with my friends.. They usually ask ' Where did you get those shoes! '. Having a size 9.5-10 womens shoe, and African American women tending to have larger feet, they want to know where I shop.

[LuvyourShoes]

Thank you all for your wonderful responses. Believe it or not this helps more than you know!

I suppose the bright colours are purely a cultural thing (as the topic of this thread goes to), simply standing out from the next guy. Heels, however, are still globally looked on as a mark of femininity, and when a guy wears them, the social implications jump out. "He thinks he's a woman, he wants to be a woman, he's gay."

LYS, I can see how it'd be harder for a black fella than white - I work with a lot of black ladies, and amongst the single girls, the story is always the same: "Why can't I find a strong, black man?" Strong always comes first. I dunno - maybe it's a subliminal thing? After all the shite that black people had to go through in America, maybe deep down they feel like they need protection, which means the "manlier man" the better?

For your comment in the second paragraph, I've done a great deal of reading on this subject and without going all activist, the myth of all black men needing to be "strong" has been perpetuated throughout our culture as the thing to be. Hence you have tons of physically gifted but somewhat intellectually shallow black men.

That point goes back into my initial point about close-mindedness when it comes to heels. I feel as though many AAs just dont want to think outside the box. Those who do are challenged all the time by AA men and women as gay or "he think he better than us". (LOL at the bad grammar).

At any rate, I think what it all boils down to is the fact that I need to get over my fears and just go with it when the time calls for it. Black, White, whatever... they're going to have an opinion anyway.

I read on the site earlier today that "You may not have the chance to wear them one day" so I think I need to just grow a pair and wear my heels (masculinity pun intended!).

Thanks again!

[CStuff]

Seeing an African person around here would be strange enough. I can just imagine the total shock of everyone, seeing an African wearing high heels! For some people, it would be their first time seeing either an African or a man wearing heels.

[maninpumps]

For the record - Hispanic is not a race!Either you refer to Amerindian people or mixed race (mestizo - white and Amerindian mixed).Spaniards and their unmixed descendants are white folk,though Mediterranean type mostly.It is not completely off topic I think since we talk about culture and I am from Eastern Europe,but have always wondered how in the U.S. spread this racial nonsense.

Sorry, It was not my intention to offend. Thanks for the info.

[Maninheels]

But I also notice that I am quite a bit older than you are, and maybe age has something to do with your feelings. But, believe it or not, I do remember when I was your age.

I think this has a lot to do with it as well, the older I get the less I care about what people think of me or what I am doing.

As far as the main topic, I feel that it has to do with the very essence of what we deal with as a man wearing high heels. Public Perception. In my younger years I lived in San Diego and there is a rather large gay community there, I was never really taken back by anything there until I saw my first gay black man. Like I said I was very young and from the perceptions that I had gay African Americans did not exist.... Now that I am more than twice the age I was then I realize how uninformed I was and that is what truly caused me to take pause, not the man's choice of life style.

There are those that are open minded and get over it and there are those that are not. Wearing heels will define those people for you very fast no matter your race. The people that matter do not mind and the people that mind do not matter.

[Guest]

I really like that last thing that you said : "the people that matter do not mind, the people that mind do not matter" VERY well put my friend!!

[JeffB]

LuvyourShoes: I'm black, I'm also 6-2, 220 pounds (when last I stepped on my scale), and I don't worry or care about cultural differences or pressures from my race about what I wear or what I should look like. As someone who chooses to wear women's shoes (and skirts), the only thing I concern myself with is looking the very best I can when in public, that's all. And for the record, I've gotten more than my fair share of compliments from black women, young and old, especially when I'm out and about in thigh high boots. I'm of the belief that we shouldn't worry about how we're perceived since, to the public at large, we're seen as oddities at best, weirdos at worst, so who cares about perception? Oh, sure, there are people out there who are openminded enough to accept our unique passion, and communicating with such people is always a delight, but we shouldn't fret over any negativism we come across from people, be they of the same race as yours or any others. At the end of the day, it's only shoes, why people get so worked up over some nonexistent connection between shoes and gender (and sexual preference) is beyond my comprehension.

[Guest]

well I fully agree with you on the last point in your post here jeffb, 100%

[HappyinHeels]

JEFF B, Now that's what I call the true "Philadelphia Freedom". Let that Liberty Bell ring and ring and ring! HappyinHeels:wavey:

[HappyinHeels]

LuvYourShoes, Great points made so far about your perception and all so I'll ad my point here as well. You are just 27 years old but a century from now we should all be comfortably in the ground and fertilizing some new crop of grass or wildflowers. You should realize that life is a 75 or 80-year journey for most if averages mean anything and you do not want to be "THAT GUY" who rues the day from his rocking chair for wanting to do something and did not. Yo need to express yourself and your personality as best that you can and as SOON AS YOU CAN lest you not become "THAT GUY". People will have opinions as it is unavoidable in a free society. The world is simply too busy a place for any one person to get in your way of wearing the footwear of your choice. If you entertain the world and give enough pause to laugh then the rewards can be great but otherwise, you are just one speck out of nearly seven billion human beings. You will walk by and either not be noticed or those that will notice will not have time to say anything. The few comments that do reach your ear will most likely be very positive from other women so quit worrying about a lone bogeyman that shall never show his face. Life is for enjoying and not worrying. Heelspeed to you my friend! HappyinHeels:wave:

[Maninheels]

LuvYourShoes,

Great points made so far about your perception and all so I'll ad my point here as well. You are just 27 years old but a century from now we should all be comfortably in the ground and fertilizing some new crop of grass or wildflowers. You should realize that life is a 75 or 80-year journey for most if averages mean anything and you do not want to be "THAT GUY" who rues the day from his rocking chair for wanting to do something and did not. Yo need to express yourself and your personality as best that you can and as SOON AS YOU CAN lest you not become "THAT GUY". People will have opinions as it is unavoidable in a free society. The world is simply too busy a place for any one person to get in your way of wearing the footwear of your choice. If you entertain the world and give enough pause to laugh then the rewards can be great but otherwise, you are just one speck out of nearly seven billion human beings. You will walk by and either not be noticed or those that will notice will not have time to say anything. The few comments that do reach your ear will most likely be very positive from other women so quit worrying about a lone bogeyman that shall never show his face. Life is for enjoying and not worrying.

Heelspeed to you my friend!

HappyinHeels:wave:

Your post reminds me of what I have told me wife, two generations after I am gone no one will ever remember who I was let alone that fact that I wore what was considered women's shoes or kept my toenails polished year around. Be you, wear what you want, have fun.

Thanks for your input on the subject.