Foxyheels Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 Personally my view is that they should work on the relationship and try to come to some agreed compromise. Most people mellow with time and familiarity so his partner would probably come round to the idea. If compromise can't be reached then the author of the thread has a decision to make, give up or split up. And please do not have a go at Amanda, she is expressing a personal view and is entitled to do so. If you don't like her view then offer a suitable polite response. She clearly loves heels, has clear defined views and comes across as a confident and feisty lady. In my opinion I'm very happy to have that kind of girl contributing to the forum. I relish the challenge of convincing her a man in heels could be the macho man of her dreams. High heels are the shoes I choose to put on, respect my choice as I repect yours.
StormClaw Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 And please do not have a go at Amanda, she is expressing a personal view and is entitled to do so. If you don't like her view then offer a suitable polite response. She clearly loves heels, has clear defined views and comes across as a confident and feisty lady. In my opinion I'm very happy to have that kind of girl contributing to the forum. I relish the challenge of convincing her a man in heels could be the macho man of her dreams. I agree.Didnt mean for my post to be a personal attack in any way.It couldve gotten worse and I felt like I needed to jump in before it got worse if it did.Every one has a valid opinion,and like you say Foxyheels,if you dont agree respond in a polite manner Jarod I dont have a lot of advice as I've never been engaged but I do get a lot of advice from my dad and that is, both parties must talk things out so both can be happy.My dad has made a lot of sacrifices to keep my mom happy,he is happy with her and loves her but he feels that its not right for him to sacrifice almost everything that will make him happy,as example certain cars,sports,gadgets , to keep her happy.I agree with him.When you marry you become one,so both needs to make sacrifices for each other to be happy with each other. Good luck with this endeavour of yours
Amanda Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 I say it's up to him to think about what to do. But the least he could do is see which outweighs the other: loving the fiancee, or your passion for whatever you exactly do I believe that the key to a loving relationship is to accept the passions of your loved one. Adopt them or tolerate them as the case may be. But do not reject them. 1
benno Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 Amanda, I do apologise for being rude. Also for being passionate and liking my clothes and shoes. I should have been more careful with my response and replied in a much more pleasant way. Hopefully we can all contribute in a more adult way. It's the short 'What's wrong with that?' answers that get to me. People that meet me and know me like me and also really like the way I dress. Even in purely mens clothes I get quite a few comments. I'm truly sorry for any hurt I may have caused, Ben Actually Benno, I don't have a job and I don't need one. However I do like to work from time to time albeit just for the challenge. I do own a pair of jeans and a wetsuit which also happens to have legs on it and yes, I will drive a car if I have to. You obviously have no idea of my horizons. I can't blame you for that but please don't accuse me of moaning. You are moaning not me. Furthermore you're just so way off the mark with your comments that even you yourself would be quite shocked if you were faced with the reality. As for boring....well I find that it's only ever boring people that get bored. Now, I don't know what it was that sparked off such a response from you or what was going through your mind when you wrote it but I will give you the chance to apologize after which I will forgive you and think nothing more of it. Amanda
Gudulitooo Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 I believe that the key to a loving relationship is to accept the passions of your loved one. Sometimes people take decisions that are thought wrong for any reason. It is a very difficult role for the loved one : either to be supportive because this is what one expect from a loved one, or to say the truth because this is also what one expect from a loved one. My two cents.
roniheels Posted May 26, 2011 Posted May 26, 2011 I believe that the key to a loving relationship is to accept the passions of your loved one. Adopt them or tolerate them as the case may be. But do not reject them. I agree with this and might add, and I truly found this out the hard way in a previous relationship, honesty is the best policy with your significant other. It is a must!
Gudulitooo Posted May 27, 2011 Posted May 27, 2011 I can't tell you how I'm so against this whole wife/fiancee has rights bussiness such as you stated which colour tie I would wear. It's this kind of behaviour which puts us men wearing heel back in to a dark area. A relationship is ment to be equal with equal rights. Jarod, Thank you for your answer. You are right, but don't take my posts too seriously. Read it again : did I say that women want you to wear men's clothes ? No. I said : "fiancees have their say in your choice of clothing". What about letting her choose the color of your heels ?
Amanda Posted May 28, 2011 Posted May 28, 2011 Sometimes people take decisions that are thought wrong for any reason. It is a very difficult role for the loved one : either to be supportive because this is what one expect from a loved one, or to say the truth because this is also what one expect from a loved one. My two cents. Humans are very adaptable so long as they are open to change. If you really love someone then anything is possible.
Majo Posted May 30, 2011 Posted May 30, 2011 I believe that the key to a loving relationship is to accept the passions of your loved one. Adopt them or tolerate them as the case may be. But do not reject them. I couldn't agree more, Amanda! We -me and my wife- have 22 years of marriage. Certainly that's one of the founding stones for a long term relationship.
Gudulitooo Posted May 30, 2011 Posted May 30, 2011 Humans are very adaptable so long as they are open to change. If you really love someone then anything is possible. On hhplace there is a lot of posts saying "I am a guy, I wear heels outside, I am pushing the boundaries, and no one says a word, no one bat an eyelid, no one look at me, no one even noticed me." Nobody will take the time to bother because they don't care as far as they are not too much involved. If they are too much involved (colleagues or anything), same result : no comment, but maybe a mental note "I don't invite him to the kids birthday party". No evident reaction. The reaction of Jarod's fiancee are precious. unlike all these people that don't react, she cares for him. Regards.
stefan Posted May 30, 2011 Posted May 30, 2011 Humans are very adaptable so long as they are open to change. If you really love someone then anything is possible. Amanda, I totally agree with you and we all hope that the future will produce people that are open to change. If that happens there is no limit to the possibilities to relationships. I really hope that "everything" will be possibel in the near future. There is to much preconceptions and fears for the unknown. And Amanda thanks for your valuable comments. Best regards, Stefan
jarod81 Posted September 17, 2011 Author Posted September 17, 2011 Well it’s been a very long time since I’ve been in this thread so I thought I might do a quick update. My fiancée as changed much, but I knew that would be the case however it would seem that she has become so much more tolerant of it all. Still can’t be me in front of her but lately have been wearing nail polish and nothing was really ever said of it. I still go out with friend wearing my heels and other attire and now she no longer gives me the silent treatment which is also a plus thing. Other big things that happened is that at the end of my last holidays I told my supervisor at work who has been so supportive and helped my find a psychologist who specialises in this are (well gender identity anyway) and who I think would be more appropriate than your average psychologist. I’ve had one appointment due to roster conflicts so hoping to go to another one soon. When I went I decided to just be me and wore my black boot with skinny jeans, like I have shown in another thread. The session was really productive and I have to say thank you to everyone for your help with that one. We talked about why I wear what I wear and how it makes me feel and what the attraction to it is, which a lot of it is comfort. There was some small talk about my fiancées opinion and my fear of getting married next year with her being so negative about it all. My fiancée is also very happy that I’m talking to someone but as she had stated though she is hoping that he will make me see things from her side. Anyway as I keep going to my appointments and with anything that may help other I will defiantly keep you all updated.
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