Blurring sexual boundaries

[Bubba136]

As long as I've been conversing with other guys that wear high heels, there has been an underlying theme running through all of our conversations. And, that is how much we wish current society would accept men wearing heels as "our" normal footwear. While I still believe total acceptance of males wearing woman's footwear, high heels particularly, is still a long way from a reality, I think the tide is definitely bending -- albeit ever so slowly-- in our favor.

I ran across the following article a few days ago. While I am not sure exactly what it means for those of us who's tastes tend to flow over the top of the male-female gender divisions based on pluming, I believe the entire "issue" of gender, sexuality and stereotyped separation between "male and female" is beginning to converge with ever increasing speed. The fact that some political entities are seeking to rephrase language in current discrimination laws to include more identifiable characteristic definitions, is/are a step in the right direction.

March 14, 2011 Print

Two Sexes? Too Heterosexist!

Posted by Jeff Johnston

The standard notion of sex, then, must be replaced by the more malleable concepts of sexual orientation and gender identity. And I do mean must. Here in Quebec a recent government white paper promises to wipe society clean of both homophobia and heterosexism—that is, of any “affirmation of heterosexuality as a social norm or the highest form of sexual orientation [and of any] social practice that conceals the diversity of sexual orientations and identities.” Douglas Farrow, “Blurring Sexual Boundaries,” First Things

Douglas Farrow writes that bills in Montreal and Massachusetts would add “gender identity and expression” to current discrimination laws, noting that both Canada and the United States “already provide extensive protection of human rights.”

Until recently, these protections have been based on one of two conditions: biology (sex or race) or socio-political institutions that a society recognizes and deems important (marital status, nationality, religion). “Sexual orientation” was the first condition to be added to this list that was quite different; it is an “identity marker that is not anchored in the biological or the institutional.” Farrow continues:

The addition of “sexual orientation,” however, has effected a transformation in our thinking about human sexuality. Male and female have begun to give way to heterosexual and homosexual in the basic binary logic of sex.

The “transgender” agenda heightens this attack on male and female, with the addition of even more subjective terms such as “gender identity and expression.” Here, gender is a social construct, how I feel about myself is more important than biology. And the rest of us must agree that a person may move between the two sexes and that there are many sexes – “a gender spectrum.”

Those of us who think and believe differently, and biblically, are clearly homophobic, heterosexist and heteronormative. And our views should be eliminated, say advocates. To ”wipe society clean” of the biblically orthodox view of sexuality will be difficult, since God’s design is clearly seen and His truth is written on human hearts. Stay tuned.

[Dr. Shoe]

Yes. Gender is an artificial construct. It is based on social roles and to an extent, on clothing: "You are a woman so you do this that and the other, you wear this and you may wear that. You are a man so you do this and you wear that."

When we are born we are naked. From the very start (or even before we are born) our parents give us toys and clothing that are "applicable" to our sex. This is the reinforcement of the stereotype of gender.

The one thing I have learnt in the last two and a half weeks of "being a female" is that the artificial constructs make no difference. I am completely accepted as a woman by my colleagues and not one person has referred to me in my male gender. However, I am not fooling anyone because I had to change the wig I wear to work (I either have to have shorter hair or tie it back) to a shorter wig. Instead of people saying that I'd had it done they either said that they prefer "the other one" or "that one" implying that they knew it is a wig.

I think (but I'm not going to try it) that if I turned up at work wigless I would still be referred to in the female gender because that's all they know about me, if you know what I mean.

I have to say that I work in an all female environment and wear unisex clothing (jodhpurs and riding boots) and virtually no make-up.

[Foxyheels]

Bubba I have to agree that things are changing quickly. I was out in a city centre today shopping and had been to a store to pick up a Japanese flag I had ordered and was on my way back to the car park when I noticed a couple of girls in front of me. The smaller one I could see better and I thought she was really cute and as I got closer I noticed they were holding hands which I thought was nice. I then realised I had been fooled by the years of stereotyping fed to me. The other girl was quite tall, had a very 'girlie' light brown coat, skinny jeans and contrasting faded ankle boots with a block heel worn outside the jeans. She also had shoulder length full wavy hair and was very slim. As I went to pass by them I suddenly thought this might be a young guy who is comfortable with what he is wearing and chooses a style he likes. Sure enough it was a 'trendy' young man and nobody gave him a second look, his 'gender bending' style was totally accepted. I was quite surprised at my initial analysis of the couple as his look is exactly what I would wish to have (at his age, early 20's). From the experience I believe there is hope for more acceptance and also even I need to ensure I don't make initial judgements based on past brain washing by society.

[verisimile]

Dear Fellow Heelers:

While I share the idea that freedom should mean in practice exactly what it means idealogically, and I agree that wider acceptance of "differences" among all type of people is an optimum environment, this will not occur by government edict. A government can only respond to the culture, not lead it. The civil rights laws in America came into being in the 1960's because of the pressure brought to bear on American society by protestors of all backgrounds. The scale, after more than 200 years of shameful practice, finally tilted in the direction of freedom and against discrimination.

Did those and subsequent laws cause discrimination to magically disappear from American society? No way. And it has taken decades to make progress, and the process is far from complete.

"Discrimination" on one level, means simply distinguishing one thing from another. Observing that one person has red hair and another has brown is not a form of discrimination but simply a recognition of characteristics that might distinguish one from another. Taking some form of ACTION based on such distinguishing features is where the ugly form of discrimination arises.

Among our members, the men who act on their fascination with heels are possibly creating a distinguishing characteristic that, at this time and place, goes against commonly held stereotypical expectations. As many of us have experienced, for a range of possible reasons, society has become somewhat more accepting of those of us who act (dress, shoes, hair styles) outside of those stereotypes.

Nonetheless, as Dr. Shoe points out, we are firmly trained into our gender identity and it is often difficult, even terrifying to contemplate pushing the comfortable boundaries.

As I often remind people I care about "You cannot MAKE anyone do anything." All we can do, as so many members report, is go about our lives with confidence and openness and set an example for those who interact with us.

V

The standard notion of sex, then, must be replaced by the more malleable concepts of sexual orientation and gender identity. And I do mean must. Here in Quebec a recent government white paper promises to wipe society clean of both homophobia and heterosexism—that is, of any “affirmation of heterosexuality as a social norm or the highest form of sexual orientation [and of any] social practice that conceals the diversity of sexual orientations and identities.” Douglas Farrow, “Blurring Sexual Boundaries,” First Things

[Histiletto]

There is no doubt the natural purpose in the origin of men and women is for the propagation of humankind. Any other peopled relationship can't do this without some modification or use of the original process. As far as we can know, this is how it is suppose to be. Scientist have speculated and determined how humans evolved from the information they have discovered, but there is so much more that we don't know. Take for instance, the male breast. Some men are capable of breastfeeding, if they get the proper stimulation. In the transgender community, the augmented male to female breast is somewhat commonplace. Could it be at one time men were expected to nurture their children along with their wife, but the social roles or lifestyles caused some kind of chemical imbalance which diminished this ability in most men? This is an example of the possible similarities men and women have in common. In explanation, society has tried to simplify the complexities of life by sorting the natural beginning of each person and making judgements as to where the pieces fit. As humans, men and women have so much in common, that given the right preparation they can do the same things, with in reason of course. Genderism is a theory that came into being by using the birthday suit to create the gap which magnified the already natural differences each individual had from another. To prove my point here, do you know what the person, man or woman, next to you is thinking all the time or do they know you as readily? It is this unknown factor that society has taken hold of to promote the gender theory. The noticeable contradictions are squelched or labeled deviantly, perversively, humanly challenged and/or etc. just to promote and maintain the status quo. We are in a new age of civilization where bright minds are able to comprehend and understand the reality of humanity. The socially man-made boundaries between men and women should come down, so that we can (learn to) properly show the respect, admiration, and courtesies that each person is entitled. Forcing an opinion or will upon someone else is being a bully and violates their space. Slavery is conducted by the same means and it is a punishable crime.

[roniheels]

As kneehighs says, Bubba, good to hear from you again. After reading this article and reading the responses from our members, I believe part of the resolutions is the old saying, "strength in numbers." As I am pushing 60 years old, I have seen fads, trends, and different lifestyles come and go. As I have stated in many posts, there was a time in the 70's when men wearing high heels and even more feminine attire was common place. The world seemed to go through an evolution, and many men were more apprehensive to show a softer, feminine side, especially as far as fashion and appearence were concerned. The "macho man" image (appearance, fashion, and fitness) was the trend and the norm. I can remember when some of my friends and co-workers were afraid to wear certain color combinations because it made them look "girly." But, thanks to some free-style, free-thinking individuals, men's fashions and attitudes has progressed toward almost anything goes. Various prejudices were spotlighted and shown to be discrinination toward individuals just trying to express their true feelings and sexual orientation. And, overall, with society seeming to try to move toward a "live and let live" philosophy, some of these old prejudices have become a minority. That is why it is so important for all to carefully step forward and express their true beings. And as Bubba said, there is definitely not a total acceptance in today's society of seeing men wearing high heels. But, thanks to fashion trends and free-thinking and open attitudes, more have at least shrugged and said "live and let live and let them be." Because we are all so different, you will never reach a complete consensus. But thank heavens things seem to be moving in the right direction.

[Eggnog]

I had a sociology teacher in high school who asked my class what the mental difference was between males and females. After listening to the class confirm that boys play with trucks and girls with dolls, boys are tough and girls are compassionate, and the like, I say, "Anatomy." The teacher said, "I said mental differences." I replied, "At birth there are none. They are a learned phenomenon." I believe this wholeheartedly. I believe that it is encouraging to see the government standing behind those who are "different" or who "walk a different path." Thank you for this post, Bubba. It really is nice to see.

[Dr. Shoe]

I had a sociology teacher in high school who asked my class what the mental difference was between males and females. After listening to the class confirm that boys play with trucks and girls with dolls, boys are tough and girls are compassionate, and the like, I say, "Anatomy." The teacher said, "I said mental differences." I replied, "At birth there are none. They are a learned phenomenon."

I believe this wholeheartedly. I believe that it is encouraging to see the government standing behind those who are "different" or who "walk a different path." Thank you for this post, Bubba. It really is nice to see.

Actually I don't think that this is necessarily true. From my own perspective I was never particularly aware of my gender. I didn't even realise that there was an anatomical difference until I was about 4 or 5 and my cousin (who was a year younger) showed me her "front bottom". Well, that educated me on the matter of sex but gender was something else entirely and until I reached 14 or so I didn't really identify strongly as male or female. I just naturally did boy things but some girl things too. I was always very sensitive as a child and rather "dippy" and more like a girl in outlook though I was never a "sissy".

I can easily do the things that men find easy, such as parallel park and I find many things that women find easy rather difficult to do. For example, I can't multi-task though I can do a number of things at once which is not the same thing.

There has been extensive research that shows that men and women are wired differently from birth though these differences are reinforced by social conditioning, education and parental controls. This is why there are so many transexuals around.

[Histiletto]

I had a sociology teacher in high school who asked my class what the mental difference was between males and females. After listening to the class confirm that boys play with trucks and girls with dolls, boys are tough and girls are compassionate, and the like, I say, "Anatomy." The teacher said, "I said mental differences." I replied, "At birth there are none. They are a learned phenomenon."

Everyone has their opinions and this will be debated as long as the present social attitude is sustained. A long time ago some people had theories concerning the classification of human beings. They continued to hold to their theories and other ideologies and accepted the things that seem to prove their thinking and they disregarded the perceived contradictions. Then they made rules and laws that made people to adhere to these theorical conclusions until hardly any one that thought differently was taken seriously. Now the common person follows these theory as if it were set in stone, while those who have realized the faultiness of these standardized theorems have to go along with the social attitude in order to maintain some degree of socialability.

The idea of the sexual boundaries blurring is a social contradiction that causes the stalward socialites to raise their ire and gather their traditional thinking to battle a truth that escapes the peripheral of their understanding in the human condition. People have been blinded by the accepted social theories that men and women don't have the same feelings and can't initiate any similar thoughts or desires. I have been one of the lucky, for I have seen outside of the idealistic perimeter and realize people are unique in similarities.

[HappyinHeels]

Shakespeare (HiStiletto) has spoken and ever the eloquent he is about this absurd boundary society has lain at our feet. Which is precisely why you take your 6" stiletto and step on it...and keep stepping on it until the line is blurred into oblivion. HapyinHeels:wavey:

[great2wear]

These comments have spurred a thought and a contradiction. As a male with the attraction to female clothing and female influences from the age of 5 or so, my interest matured to an understanding that I am male with a strong female side. Wearing has been a personal issue offering a clamness and peace to confirm who I am. Dressing (crossdressing) was always a private issue since there is no way that I would be 'passable' in public. I am beginning to see the other side that we can sort of mix-and-match and not be driven to have a need to look like a 10. Social judgement will always be present, but being totally free and expressive a winning hand.