A request regarding compliments from males.

[Amanda]

Hello Amanda. I am a male who reads the posts in the girl's forums regularly. I ran across this post from you tonight... "I often wish that men had the courage to compliment me on choice of shoes. I find it to be a rare occurrence which is odd considering the amount of men that appear to notice them. Is it just me?. Do you get many compliments or even comments from men regarding your shoes?." I would LOVE to compliment more women on their shoes but maybe there's a mis-perception among men about how to give complements about something which can be so personal to someone. I feel almost embarrassed to let a woman know how attractive she is and VERY RARELY comment about her shoes. It's a fear I have of being labeled a pervert since 'guys aren't supposed to notice a woman's shoes.' Also, courtesy of the wonderful news media, any guy who's found to have a shoe fetish is immediately tagged in stories where they may be involved. There have been several posts at hhplace about this - You'll have this completely demented male do something really bad and the first line of the story reads 'Man with high heels did ....." Even if the man is a full CD, the first thing mentioned is the shoes. Well, sorry to rant on but if you haven't posted this question in the men's forum would you please? I am curious how the men will respond to a female asking.

[k6ps]

During the last year or so (that is also the time i started to wear heels myself), i've started to occasionally say friendly compliments to women about their shoes and other parts of their outfit. I think it's not something to be afraid of. Just gotta be a bit careful and think ahead, so that it doesn't sound rude. Also, i try to do this not too often, but only when the shoes are truly outstanding, and the lady looks like style-conscious, open-minded, and mature (according to my judgement). So far all ladies are either immediately happy to hear that, or initially don't quite know how to respond, say somethig like "oh.. thanks!", and then a bit later turn to sincere smile Happy Heeling k6ps

[Guest]

I can agree with k6ps and I do in a similar way at times, often in shops where a girl is trying on (or occasionally trying to walk). I've even been able to catch someone as she toppled over, gave a compliment and "a little more practice" and I got a whopping great smile, embarrassment gone! Being sensible and sincere gives a result to both parties, just don't chase after, it gives the wrong signals and that will cause problems. Keep it brief unless "chat" up lines come back in which case go with the flow. I hope Amanda will agree. Al

[spiker]

I've complimented ladies at work on their shoes before now and always got favorable responses. I've always felt like that's where it ends though, when I wanted to follow up with "where are they from?" or "who are they?" she'd moved on to something else. I guess they're not expecting a follow up. I've always thought there's a big difference between saying "I love your heels" and "I love your shoes". The former sounds just a little bit more seedy than the latter, is it just me? I've never had the confidence to compliment a stranger though. It feels like we're not really supposed to approach strangers are we nowadays? Spiker.

[Bubba136]

Why can't a guy just say: "Great looking shoes! They really go well with your outfit!

[Dr. Shoe]

I have always complimented a woman on her shoes or boots abd they have always responded positively.

This is because:

I have only done it when she is definitely wearing some very nice shoes. I have always accompanied it with "are they Blahniks/Laboutins/Choos" as appropriate. I have started to turn away from her confirming that it isn't a chatup line.

[HappyFeat]

I complement women on their shoes/outfits/etc. all the time. I usually do it in passing and if there is a conversation that follows it is usually about the history of the item (where they bought it/how long they have own it/etc.) For me, I am a pretty sincere guy who only complements people on anything if it is worthy of a complement. As far as being labeled a perv, I guess I have never worried about what I am labeled. I have complemented women on their shoes in many places: work, school, shopping, parties, bars, etc. I think all too often, a complement on somebody's shoes, for example can be confused as a come on. If somebody is insulted that I offered a complement or somehow threatened, they live in a very sad place.

[Dawn HH]

Quite right, Happyfeat. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[Puffer]

Sometimes, the opportunity to make a comment (preferably complimentary!) about a woman’s shoes can hardly be avoided – at least, without seeming to be rude.

A few weeks ago, I was looking at the women’s shoes in the sale at Next, trying to find a pair of very ordinary boots to suit my wife – somewhat of a daunting task! I did spot something suitable but in the wrong size, so asked an assistant to check the stockroom for others. I stood waiting by the shoe shelves, feigning a total lack of interest while a rather plain girl of around 20 tried on a pretty pair of silver stiletto sandals a yard or so away, encouraged by a couple of friends. When she stood up and walked a few steps in my direction, I could hardly ignore her and said (quite truthfully) that the sandals looked good on her. She smiled and said ‘thanks’ and seemed to glad to have my approval. I guess that many women get little unsolicited interest or encouragement from a husband or boyfriend when out shopping together and a compliment from a male stranger was all the more welcome because she realised it was genuine. (And I wasn’t an obvious perv either – although others here might not agree!)

[cobrajet62]

I compliment them all the time, and have never had a bad response, i think they can sense when somebosy is paying them a sincere compliment or using it as a pickup line or something, I guess its all about how the compliment is worded and the circumstance of it that would give them ideas that it might be more than just a compliment.