ImInHeels Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 Sorry for the rant, but I just need to get this out somewhere. I know there are alot of people out there still looking for that partner. However more often I just keep wondering whats going on in my life? the few girls i do seem to hit it off with are either taken, or going traveling for x years. It just seems that when ever i make a connection with someone there is always something to get in the way.
NH Heels Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 Some times you find things when you aren't looking for them and some times what you've been looking for has been right in front of you all along. My wife and i had been best friends for 13 years before I realised that she was the one. Now we're going on 4 years being married and it's been the best 4 years of my life. I spent a lot of years searching for something I'd already found. I just though I'd offer my 2 cents.
Histiletto Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 Do something different that you are interested in pursuing for a while, that doesn't have a focus on finding that special someone, like joining a theater group or taking guitar lessons. You will be able to enrich your life and the possibility of her finding you in what you like to do, will increased the chance both of you can share common interests.
ImInHeels Posted January 26, 2010 Author Posted January 26, 2010 Some times you find things when you aren't looking for them and some times what you've been looking for has been right in front of you all along. My wife and i had been best friends for 13 years before I realised that she was the one. Now we're going on 4 years being married and it's been the best 4 years of my life. I spent a lot of years searching for something I'd already found. I just though I'd offer my 2 cents. Thats good advice, there are one or two friends that this could apply to. maybe one day. Do something different that you are interested in pursuing for a while, that doesn't have a focus on finding that special someone, like joining a theater group or taking guitar lessons. You will be able to enrich your life and the possibility of her finding you in what you like to do, will increased the chance both of you can share common interests. That is good advice, and over the last 5 years i've been trying various different new things / hobbies, during this time i've met two girls, one several years ago, but if I'm honest with my self it might not be right. It just feels like what ever I try, I never seem to meet the right girl.
ImInHeels Posted January 26, 2010 Author Posted January 26, 2010 However I guess i just need to keep trying, but any other ideas are welcome.
sscotty727 Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 I too was trying hard, going to the bar every Friday and Saturday night, putting out ads in the local paper, answering ads, everything. I finally had a friend invite me to a different bar, which turned out to be a punk bar. I finally gave up and decided to just stand in a corner playing video games and getting drunk. The woman who ended up being my wife of 20 years now came up and asked if she could watch. It wasn't instant sparks, but it turned into a slow burn. I think when you try hard, you get frustrated and over think and just aren't yourself. When you just relax, do something different as suggested, you tend to relax and just be yourself. That is when you end up meeting that person. You are only 25. You are young. Just enjoy life and have fun. It will happen.
Tech Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 However I guess i just need to keep trying, but any other ideas are welcome. Maybe if you stop "trying" and crack on with enjoying life, you will have more chance of meeting mrs right? Trying too hard focuses attention away from the things you enjoy, and subsequently the places you might go or the things you might do that would allow you to be yourself and meet other like minded people. 1 Heels for Men // Legwear Fashion // HHPlace Guidelines If something doesn't look right, please report the content ASAP!
Bubba136 Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 Me, I wasn't looking at all. Really to young to even think of marriage and family. However, met my wife on our first day of or freshmen year in college. Both of us 18. Married at 19 and we're now 53.........with three grown children and 6 grandchildren. It can happen when you least expect it. Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public.
Dr. Shoe Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 However more often I just keep wondering whats going on in my life? the few girls i do seem to hit it off with are either taken, or going traveling for x years. Do they decide to go travelling for X years after meeting you? Seriously though, IME it's best not to push too much, let them pull you... Here's an example: You: Good here isn't it? Her: I suppose... You: My Name's John, how are you? Her: Er... fine thanks, my name's karen. You: OK... That's a nice/unusual/pretty name. Is there any reason why you have that name? Karen: Not really, I was named after an aunt I think. You: Is that a local accent? karen: No, I'm from Manchester. You: Oh that's quite a cool city, have you been down here for long? Karen: No not really. You: So what do you do then? Karen: I'm a nurse. You: Really? (pause) Karen: Yes, the north middlesex hospital. You: Oh? (pause) Karen: I work in the male surgical ward. You: That must be pretty rewarding I should think? Karen (laughing): Well I wouldn't do it for the pay! You: ooooh I see your glass is empty, would you like another drink? Karen: Yes please. Graduate footwear designer able to advise and assist on modification and shoe making projects.
ImInHeels Posted January 26, 2010 Author Posted January 26, 2010 Do they decide to go travelling for X years after meeting you? Seriously though, IME it's best not to push too much, let them pull you... It's nothing about me pushing, its more where I live most people have very good paying jobs, and are so isolated want to travel. I have been to some of the most out of the way places, and here people talking about one of our local night clubs, turns out they are from the same place as me. and i've very laid back in how I talk, like in your example, maybe too laid back sometimes. Maybe if you stop "trying" and crack on with enjoying life, you will have more chance of meeting mrs right? Trying too hard focuses attention away from the things you enjoy, and subsequently the places you might go or the things you might do that would allow you to be yourself and meet other like minded people. I not really "trying" and I have just been doing various things, that I enjoy, I'm not focusing on meeting them, but having a good time and meeting who I meet. I guess its all part of living on a small island, (ok, not that small) but it limits things a little bit.
Dawn HH Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 Mickey and I were both enjoying life and jobs, her 26 and I 33, and after meeting something clicked like a stiletto heel. Maybe it was hers. After 41 years and still counting we are still here. Life happens when you are looking for something else. Cheers--- Dawn HH High Heeled Boots Forever!
Spikester Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 Mickey and I were both enjoying life and jobs, her 26 and I 33, and after meeting something clicked like a stiletto heel. Maybe it was hers. After 41 years and still counting we are still here. Life happens when you are looking for something else. Cheers--- Dawn HH Wise words . . . I met a selection of potential SOs over the years, but things didn't fall into place until I was about your age, give or take. May sound a bit drastic, but have you thought about moving to the mainland for a while? Roots are important, but so's the occasional re-potting, if that's the word.
ImInHeels Posted February 25, 2010 Author Posted February 25, 2010 May sound a bit drastic, but have you thought about moving to the mainland for a while? Roots are important, but so's the occasional re-potting, if that's the word. I was thinking about it several years ago, when I was in my early 20's me and a friend were going to move up north. Sadly things didn't workout that way. At the moment I'm in a job I hate, I struggle to make ends meet month to month. A big part of me wants to sell up and move away, however I know that if I do that I'll most likely never be able to afford to move back! I have meet someone who's sparked my interest recently, on one of the things I do weekly . And have enjoyed the time chatting with her when a group of us go to the pub afterward. Even though I've never amazing at reading these things, I think that is as far as it will go. Back to looking at moving to the mainland, It's something I've been thinking about for a while, and think it could be grouped will with a career move as well.
partyshoes Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 Do something different that you are interested in pursuing for a while, that doesn't have a focus on finding that special someone, like joining a theater group or taking guitar lessons. You will be able to enrich your life and the possibility of her finding you in what you like to do, will increased the chance both of you can share common interests. Good advice. Not much i can add that hasnt already been said in later posts. NH Heels made a point i can identify with - my wife was female friend for ages, well 2 years, before I realised she was the one. Gingers Rogers did everything Fred Astair did .. but backwards and in heels
ImInHeels Posted February 25, 2010 Author Posted February 25, 2010 I think your right, it going to take time, at this point in my Life I'm not just looking for anyone any more, I'm looking for that special someone. And even though a lot of my friends seem to be finding someone I guess I just need to wait a little longer.
wood&metal Posted February 27, 2010 Posted February 27, 2010 ImInHeels... I can appreciate where you are in life... Having asked myself that same question in my late 20s-early 30's, and having had nothing but dead end relationships come from it, I'm in somewhat of the same position.. I do believe women can pick up on the vibes of a guy who's "looking", and I believe that scares many potential partners away... Why?... who knows?.. That's just how it seems to me.. I jumped in with the wrong ones and got burned a few times, and I got tired of looking...hence, I quit looking...I took myself off the market and became unavailable.. That's when decent partner material started poping up on the radar scope.. Never frown because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
Dawn HH Posted February 27, 2010 Posted February 27, 2010 Wood & Metal:-) Sometimes you try too hard and when you take yourself off of the market and begin to relax a bit, good things begin happening to you and better girl material begins showing up since they realize that you are just being your relaxed self. Cheers--- Dawn HH High Heeled Boots Forever!
Eggnog Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 I haven't found Mr. Right yet. But the more I look the farther I get from him I think! When the time's right you'll find your special someone. So far, everyone I've dated has been a loser. In many ways. From abusive verbally, to unfaithful, to just plain weird. That's just how it works I guess. Every one says when you find "the one" you'll know. Don't listen to that. It feels like you know with every "one." But when you find her you'll eventually figure it out. Just go with the flow. Eventually she'll drift your way.
Dawn HH Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 Eggnog:-) You know what you say about finding a guy can in many ways also apply to a guy finding a girl. You sound like a very nice person who takes care in personal appearance and will accept only the very best when it concerns your future in all things considered as it should be. Have fun, build your career and the future will take care of itself. Your young yet and the time to settle down comes later. Meanwhile your encouners with all things male will help build your confidence in what you really want in a life pardner. You won't have to settle for anything less unless you really want to. Keep your standards high but not too high. Good luck and we are all on your side always. Cheers--- Dawn HH 1 High Heeled Boots Forever!
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