Waiting For The Rainbow Of Acceptance

[Histiletto]

Hey Thighboots, I guess we are going to have to agree to disagree. I understand why you stand by the opinion you have in the matter of men wearing stilettos. We haven't known any other perspective socially since spike or stiletto heels have come into being. With the emergence of the industrial revolution, there was an extensive push to define and solitify the stereotypes of masculine and feminine stereotypes even for young children who weren't old enough to be concerned with such social attitudes and standards. Along with the likes of ruffled shirts no long being part of the men's selection, the idea of boys playing with dolls or wearing Mary Jane type footwear began to be forbidden in any social circles. Girls having toy trucks or cap guns in their toy box was replaced by articles of home making items because they were suppose to be groomed for the home duties and looking attractive to be supportive hands for males of the house. The labels such as tomboys and sissies were more often used for the children that didn't follow these societal decrees and they were ridiculed and taunted by grown-ups and other children. Society has reinforced its standards by downgrading those who didn't follow the revised protocol. Today, we are the recipients of this social makeover that took away our personal right of choice. Although, I have brought out that a major push to define our stereotypes happened within the last two centuries, there has always been a social separation of the roles for men and women. The feudal system of the middle ages comes to mind as an example of showing definite roles society had at that time. The elite, powerful, and/or leaders of society often chose what was the proper way to view things according to the understanding in their times. Incorrect attitudes toward other people often were passed on and eventually these attitudes became the standards of today.

[Bubba136]

That's a whole lot of truth, Thighboots2 Well said. One of the most easily identified aspects in the comments posted on this forum are remarks of self-delusion. It's easy to present your aspirations, dreams and ideas of how you wish things are/could be and difficult to admit that no matter how much you want believe they are, the entire situation of men being accepted in heels isn't what you want it to be. And, along with the bravado that accompanies tales of exploits while out and about while (dreaming of?) wearing your most elegant pair of stilettos in public without a care in this world -- and being accepted and complemented at your courage and braveness while appearing in public wearing them, the underlying reality is that it's self-delusion to believe that men in stiletto heels will ever be mainstream -- it will forever, for the most part, an oddity and, in some circles, perverted. While there are quite a few members that are accustomed to dressing and wearing items of feminine clothing as parts of their normal, everyday costumes, including various styles of high heel pumps and boots (include me amongst these), even their comments/recitations of their experiences in public while wearing these items, retain a hint of "butterflies" they've not quite gotten over. As such, they're always acutely aware of "reaction/non-reaction" their appearances provoke. Which, in my opinion, we'll never completely erase. This circles back to discussions of "are men in heels becoming more accepted." The positiveness of which is based more upon what the observer wants to believe rather than "the reality" they're faced with. It doesn't matter how hard they try to make the case for "acceptance" the plain fact is that they "aren't." As is pointed out in another thread, acceptance of men in heels will never come to pass in our generations. The stigma against the idea will always be near the surface. So guys, just accept the fact that if you desire to wear your high heels at the mall whilst you Christmas Shop, be advised that at some point during the trip someone will spot your shoes and give a hoot and point at the oddity. Be prepared and react accordingly. Non-acceptance doesn't ever mean that you can't wear what you like, where you like and when you like. It just means that you're going to have to "suck it up" and suffer the derogatory thoughts of those that find it "unusual."

[Histiletto]

Maybe we can't change the whole world or even those around us. We aren't and shouldn't be trying to control or live their lives, either. Why give any body else control over ours? It is our choice to heel in whatever is our preference.

[skirtsnhose]

While there are quite a few members that are accustomed to dressing and wearing items of feminine clothing as parts of their normal, everyday costumes, including various styles of high heel pumps and boots (include me amongst these), even their comments/recitations of their experiences in public while wearing these items, retain a hint of "butterflies" they've not quite gotten over. As such, they're always acutely aware of "reaction/non-reaction" their appearances provoke. Which, in my opinion, we'll never completely erase.

I don't know that being acutely aware of the reaction, or lack thereof, necessarily means anything for "acceptance." Beautiful women who dress provocatively know exactly what they're doing, and gauge the reactions they do or do not get based on their appearance all the time. That has little bearing on the "acceptance" of their fashion choices. Obviously a man in heels or a skirt is well outside the norm for men generally, but that fact alone neither means that acceptance is never forthcoming on any level nor that the man wearing a skirt and heels publicly has any "butterflies" about doing so. For my part, when I'm out in public in a skirt and heels, I observe people's reactions because I love the people-watching aspect of their reactions, not because I'm remotely concerned about what any one of them thinks of me.

[Thighboots2]

Histiletto, I am all for guys dressing exactly how they wish too - live and let live is my motto. What we as a gender struggle against is the fact that a few perverts have tarred all men with the same brush and that when a man steps out of the norm in whatever way he chooses, he instantly becomes a target. The advent of the internet and 24hr news has only served to bring this activity into sharp focus to the point these days where here in the UK to be able to work with children at all, you have to have a criminal records check carried out on you by each organisation for whom you work. Sadly it is all to true that men seem unable to control their sexual fantasies and do some dispicable things to fellow human beings. It is extreemly rare that women do this, although it is not unknown. The stiletto heel is a thing of beauty to us all, and I might add especially oupled with a nice pair of FF stockings, but its association with sex are very strong indeed, the higher and thinner the heel, the stronger the association. Of course I am not against high heels for men, I want (and do) wear high heels wherever and whenever I wish too as to me it is not big deal. The difference is that I choose to wear heels (made for women) that are not in the least sexy in a woman's eye, or I wear heels like my avatar that are mens shoes. In this way I get what I want which is to wear heels that are greater than 2", and enjoy the experience of doing so. Again I reiterate that if only members would accept that the wearing of stiletto heels for the foreseeable future will have to remain in the privacy of your own space with occasional forays out for parties and/or special occasions, and support the few designers who do produce genuine high heels for men, then you will find that it will stimulate other designers to follow their lead. This is an excellent discussion thread though, kudos to you for kicking it off. Simon.

[Bubba136]

I don't know that being acutely aware of the reaction, or lack thereof, necessarily means anything for "acceptance."

If the man tottering around in public wearing his finest, highest heeled pumps or boots is totally unconcerned about how he is perceived or looked upon by people that surround him, then he doesn't need to worry about acceptance or reaction. However, if he has the slightest inkling that people will look upon him as an "oddity" -- it doesn't matter how little -- he will be "acutely" aware of other people's reaction towards him. And, that "care" comes from the fact that men are not "accepted" wearing high heels and not because of his outfit's "fashion sense/choice." If this is not the case, why then would the majority of the members here appearing regularly in public wearing all manner of female garments, bother to include language in their reports that tell us of how his "presence" was received by those encountered during their "outings?"

Beautiful women who dress provocatively know exactly what they're doing, and gauge the reactions they do or do not get based on their appearance all the time. That has little bearing on the "acceptance" of their fashion choices.

It is common knowledge (or, according to my wife) that most women that have any fashion sense what so ever, dress for "other women." Competition is fierce. Women angling to attract mail companionship are competing on another level. You are correct. Women don't need acceptance because they are wearing clothing that is fashioned, designed and manufactured to the female taste and not to the male taste. What they really need is to avoid ridicule for their choice (Did you see that dress she was wearing?).

Obviously a man in heels or a skirt is well outside the norm for men generally, but that fact alone neither means that acceptance is never forthcoming on any level nor that the man wearing a skirt and heels publicly has any "butterflies" about doing so.

Acceptance is acceptance is acceptance. You can be accepted wearing female clothing by your wife, children, family, friends and close associates - those that are aware of your cross dressing. But, do they really and readily accept you or are they choosing to "overlook" this aspect of your personality for some other reason? Just because those closest to you "tend" to project their "acceptance" of your choice of dress doesn't mean they find it "totally acceptable" or even attractive. Is your choice readily accepted by the couple living next door, those living in the same neighborhood, at your place of work, residing in the same community. etc.? Like I said -- acceptance is acceptance is acceptance. Final point: Men wearing woman's clothing or shoes in public isn't accepted on the whole or looked upon as being "normal" by the general public at any level. PERIOD.

For my part, when I'm out in public in a skirt and heels, I observe people's reactions because I love the people-watching aspect of their reactions, not because I'm remotely concerned about what any one of them thinks of me.

And, there are some others will go out of their way to solicit reaction from others so they can not "pretend" they don't/hadn't noticed. They must respond or appear very rude.

You say that "you're not remotely concerned about what anyone thinks of you. Why then are you engaged so intently in "watching people" react to you? I would guess that you really aren't concerned if anyone "accepts" you dressed as you will. But, appearing dressed as a woman while being readily recognized as a man has to create some sort of "rush" deep with in your psychic or else your fear of ridicule and shame would kick in and you'd run for the nearest place where you could hide and people couldn't see you.

There is a name for this condition in the psychological community. I can't call it's name, but I know for sure that there are a lot of people visiting them for treatment each week.

Motivation drives behavior. So, what does it matter whether or not you are accepted? That's what's so wonderful about "western civilization," You can engage in almost any activity that you desire as long as it isn't harmful to others or against current law. Cross dressing isn't illegal. Should you get your "jollies" by wandering amongst "the general public" decked out in your finest threads and heels, go for it. On the whole, the general public doesn't care. Your closest associates really don't care. And, most of all, I don't care. But, that is neither here or there when it comes to being "accepted" or not. Because to most of our members being "accepted is being able to wear anything you want to wear without fear of ridicule.

[Histiletto]

Thanks guys! I have really enjoyed your responses. The road to public acceptance really seems long with more than the obstacles we have discussed to deal with ahead. Even if these obstacles are ignored, they won't go away as long as there isn't any enlightenment to correct or discredit society's programming in these matters. Some of this enlightenment could have its roots from the things we are talking about here. I have noticed that the internet often references some of our postings in the HHP forum to satisfy certain topical searches. Our light can shine for those who have a curiosity or an interest to know the extent men are carrying out their desire to wear their choice of high heels. However, our time in this life is short and valuable. If we aren't living the way we feel life should be like, how can we expect anybody else to live a better perspective. Rainbows and dreams are wonderful to envision, but working on goals to make them part of us should be within every ones motivation to achieve.

[skirtsnhose]

But, that is neither here or there when it comes to being "accepted" or not. Because to most of our members being "accepted is being able to wear anything you want to wear without fear of ridicule.

If I understand you correctly from previous posts, you believe that definition of acceptance, as you laid it out above, is not going to happen anytime soon, if at all. I am inclined to agree with that.

[Thighboots2]

Quite simply, the shoes in my Avatar are perfect acceptable for any man to wear. Of course they are, they are made for men. I wear them with my black tie evening dress (aka Tuxedo). Histiletto's avatar is also showing an very nice patent shoe that is perfect acceptable for a woman to wear with a LBD to the same black tie do. All perfectly acceptable and looking right so far. Just swap the shoes between the man and the woman in your mind. Is it possible - yes, is it acceptable - depends, but does it look right - absolutely not. Neither the man nor the woman would look the part, yet they are both wearing heeled evening shoes. Wear the right heel style with the right outfit and there is no problem as the acceptance is already there. Simon.

[Bubba136]

What you are saying is very true. But, the woman wearing the men's shoes is probably "more acceptable" to the general public than the stilettos on the man would be. (Quite frankly, even though the shoes in your avatar are made for men, wearing them would probably get more curious looks from people than any other pair of men's shoes would.)

[Histiletto]

TB2, Of course you are right about the social attitude concerning men wearing stiletto heels. As long as this stereotype continues to be prominant, this senario will remain, which is exactly the reason for this thread. People won't know of any different thinking if they aren't aware of any. With having the desire to wear heels as males, we have been able to get better persectives about life and its various nuances. How is society going to realize that men like to wear heels (even stilettos) just as women have, if we don't give them some insight by wearing the styles we like? Living in the closets and other areas of secrecy has fueled the misconception about male heelers when they are suddenly and/or unexpectedly exposed. You fear that society will continue to see men as perverts and/or deranged individuals, if men choose to wear items of clothing viewed by society as feminine wear only. The "only" is there, because society has made rules that men don't have the desire for such things. This attitude has given rise to a lot of biased and bigoted assumptions, that has taken away our individual freedom to choose for ourselves the things we want for our adornment. Clothing has come along way since wrapping with fig leaves and covering with fresh animal hides. I doubt there was a label attached to inform the wearer not to put on the coverings if they were for the other gender. But now this has been put in social stone: "Men and women can't like or wear the same items of attire". How basicly illogical is this? You may not be able to change the minds of the uninformed or the closed-minded, but that doesn't give them the right to make your choices. So wear the footwear you desire to wear. Does it make you any less of a person if you desire to wear stiletto heels and then don't? How about if you did? It's your decision, not anybody elses. Now, rise and shine as you share the joy of your heeling in the pair you chose to wear.

[Guest]

youve got it right on the nose there Histiletto, its all in the way people are taught to look @ things as they grow up from childhood, the reason(s) are long forgotten that may have originally been what they thought were valid @ that particular period in time in their generation. Like what were the reasons for MEN needing boots with heels in the first place, then centuries later they wind up as WOMENS footwear, the reasons lost in time no dought as to why they were even WORN by men!

[blender]

demontiaplatforms Boots with heels started with horse riding it allowed the foot to stay in the stirrup whilst out riding both men and women wore boots to go riding in but women’s heels became taller and men’s heels shrunk don’t know why , boots back in history would have been worn be the upper classes as they were the only ones that could afford to buy horses for fun ,the lower classes would have used work horses for their daily chores. histiletto What I find illogical is that shoes are made by men for women to look good for men so its only a natural assumption that men are going to like the same types of clothes as women Part of the reason for non acceptability rest on our parents shoulders bless them , many years ago a group of psychologists done some research in to women’s reactions with babies, one by one each women sat in a room with babies toys and they were given a baby dressed in pink to look after for a short time and they watched how she interacted with the child, they then took the child off of her and changed the child into blue clothes and handed the child back to see how she reacted, she didn’t know it was the same baby, but when it was dressed in pink she played with girls toys and talked about girl things and when the child was in blue she played with boys thing and talked about boy things, the same can be said about both parents though a father will act differently with a girl than a boy. I have had this sort of conversation with women and about the right to be able to wear what they want to and to be free from the unwanted advances of drunken slobs who just see what they are wearing and get the wrong idea, people see first and act second, in the circles that I move in a women who dresses up as a man is making a statement about her sexuality I.e. she’s a lesbian, on the other hand a women who dresses up in a micro mini skirt and high heels are going to get unwanted advances from men and also women will look at her think and come their own conclusions, certain clothes can and do make a statement about sex and sexuality hardly a day passed when I read a men’s magazine and see women dressed in nothing but lingerie or just high heels the two are so intertwined with sex and sexuality that it would be impossible now to separate them. From my point of view I have been soul searching for the reasons as to why I wear high heels and I have come to the conclusion that I was trying to make myself more attractive but then I realised that the persons that I am going to attract aren’t going to be the ones that I am trying to attract and until women find these things attractive then it was all just be a fantasy and will never be main stream. The grass isn’t greener on the other side they have the same but different problems as us.

[Thighboots2]

Histiletto, I am with you, maybe you have the impression I am anti-stilettos for men. This is not the case. I feel that there are precious few who will look right aesthetically in them anyway. No I am pointing out that the stiletto heel (also stockings and garter(suspender) belts, basques and other such currently female attire) is a sexual object and is viewed as such by men and women alike. They are promoted as such and women use them for that express purpose. Now seeing as society views all men as enjoying such items for erotic purposes, and lets face it almost all of us do, when men wear such items for other than special occasions such as a fancy dress party, they will be viewed at the least as being strange, more often worse, and it really is an uphill struggle to say you are doing it as a fashion statement and be believed. On the other hand, a pair of block heel boots that women typically wear going about their daily business are viewed as anything but sexy so a man can wear same and now the fashion statement can be believed far more readily. I can't help how society is structured, but sex is key to this. Demonia - You are right with the men and heel origins (well documented) but it really isnt an arguement as this still applies today. Western boots still have heels for the original purpose and no other, but they can be higher than necessary and not look wrong with a guy wearing them. Neither do they carry the strong erotic symbolism of the stiletto heel. Bubba, You are right to say the woman would be able to wear my heels without question, but that wasn't what I was driving at. My avatar shoes would look completely wrong on a woman in a cocktail dress as would 5" patent stilettos on a man in evening dress. Sure my avatars do raise eyebrows, but they start conversations which always have men saying how much they like them and where to get them and the women just love the look. Its a half way house, but you start there and before you know it your going higher and thinner. Are we trying to build Rome in a day? This is still probably the best thread on HHP ATM. Simon.

[Histiletto]

There was a time when men were able to wear the more dainty and flowery items of clothing that are now considered part of the feminine selections only. What happened to society that caused this attitude and perception of masculine attire? I'll speculate that when women started moving from their socially viewed sub-servient roles to take on the roles dominated by men, society felt they had to magnify and promote the gender gap. Women being like men was a hard concept for many people to cope with, especially in our western European influenced type patriarchal system. Athough women were successful in their ability to accomplish the same things men do, the thought that men could think like women was just too demeaning in this social atmosphere, since women were still considered sub-servient and not as good as men. So, a man wanting to exemplify any female tendencies or appearances continues to be viewed as, at the least, demeaning if not as perversive. When are these dark "middle ages" concepts going to be updated to what people really are and eliminate the unequality of people due to their nationality, race, age and oh yes, sex (equipment or orientation)? In this light one would think people would be more accepting of males in high heels, being as men do have many of the same desires as women.

[Guest]

Right on,Histiletto, youve got it nailed down on the mark, I couldnt have said this myself any better than how you just did now-it seems than you & I (& perhaps others in here as well) have thought a lot about this thing in a historical social aspect, & have tried to reason it out as to the origin of these thoughts in society & how they may have evolve. It does seem to me @ least that a lot of people that make up "society" dont even know this or if they did are afraid to dwell on it in depth, for fear of finding out the truth that has been hidden for centuries or mis-understood through ignorance.

[BoyLegs]

There was a time when men were able to wear the more dainty and flowery items of clothing that are now considered part of the feminine selections only. What happened to society that caused this attitude and perception of masculine attire?

I'll speculate that when women started moving from their socially viewed sub-servient roles to take on the roles dominated by men, society felt they had to magnify and promote the gender gap. Women being like men was a hard concept for many people to cope with, especially in our western European influenced type patriarchal system. Athough women were successful in their ability to accomplish the same things men do, the thought that men could think like women was just too demeaning in this social atmosphere, since women were still considered sub-servient and not as good as men. So, a man wanting to exemplify any female tendencies or appearances continues to be viewed as, at the least, demeaning if not as perversive.

Well, maybe if the Cavaliers had won the English Civil War, upper-class men would still be going around in their colorful silks. As it was, the Puritans disdained the ostentatious and ornamental in favor of the restrained and utilitarian. The sin of pride, you know.

In the leading European nations (at least Britain and France), the highly stylized men's clothing of the late middle ages and early renaissance gave way long before any notion of women as equals arrived. Prior to the change, an upper-class man dressed in a way that made it obvious he did nothing for himself. Spanish grandees wore boots with soles so thin that they would have worn through if you walked across the yard to get the horse.

There is a watershed event in each of these nations that shifts fashion away from that. It becomes necessary to be less obvious that a gentleman is a decorative item. In Britain, the Civil War marks the turning point. In France, it is the Revolution. Indeed, the Revolutionary-Imperial period turns over European fashion generally. Men stop wearing stockings shortly after Waterloo.

[Thighboots2]

Histiletto, you raise a very valid question in your first paragraph. and boylegs is quite correct with his second paragraph. Given that it was only the wealthy men who were the dandies of the day, they were often the officers of the military forces. As uniforms evolved into more practical garments after waterloo, especially as the officers gayly coloured tunics helped the enemy snipers single them out as targets, the uniforms became more drab and not dissimilar to the rank and file so that they were no longer easily spotted. Distinctions between the regiments became suppressed. Thus the individuality of mens attire became generally surpressed also the use of bright colours. This did not apply to the women who were not part of the armed forces and so they continued to dress flamboyantly. Although not the complete answer, the military has a lot of influence in the evolution of mens attire and I suppose this is why we find the typical expensive suit jacket will have a coloured lining. We still want ot express our use of colour in fashion, but it seems within the constraints of a uniform and so these colours are hidden, only being seen in brief flashes. Individualism these days is restricted to the neck tie or the wearing of a waistcoat in formal settings. Really this is still very much the way of mens fashion and the way in which men seem to dress. Simon.

[Histiletto]

Thanks for some specific historical movements and/or events that helped to feed into today's social attitude concerning men in heels. I realize my speculation was general and vague, but learning more about the things that makes the social environment we have to deal with today might shed some light on how men's right to choose has been slowly and methodically eroded. If for nothing else this venture should teach that society makes mistakes and one of the most prominent mistakes was to assume men and women weren't equal members of the human race with many of the same attributes, talents, and skills. Nature gave humans functions to multiply and replenish mankind. Their physical development and abilities to learn made them people. Their personalities, appearances, and choices helped them to develop and mature as individuals. When society revises or revamps its standards to relate to each person equally and restores to each individual their personal rights, the acceptance of male heelers will have already resulted in the process of realizing the true nature and the under valued worth of each person. Idealistic? Sure! Attainable? Regretably, not everyone will see the need or have enough desire to pay the price.

[tightlevisandhhboots]

Idealistic? Sure! Attainable? Regretably, not everyone will see the need or have enough desire to pay the price.

Couldn't have said it better!!

Just have to keep heeling the only way we know how, and hope the norm will shift again...

Tightlevisandhhboots

[Jamie001]

Guys need to just get out there and wear the footwear and clothing that you want to wear. A great example of doing this is JeffB. Just be confident and you will be fine. Don't go around acting like a scared bunny rabbit or everyone will wonder what you are up to and you will be treated like an outcast. The key is confidence. If you keep wining and cowering in the closet and waiting for the Rainbow of Acceptance, then you will most likely live you life and die never having worn the shoes/clothing that you really want to wear. What a waste when you can do it like JeffB and others that lead by example. The Rainbow of Acceptance is nothing but a fantasy that will never happen. Think about men wearing earrings 20 years ago. It was not acceptable, but many men had the balls to "just do it" and do it with confidence. That is why it is acceptable today. Don't wait for other folks to do the work for you! No matter what you do in life, there will always be folks that disagree with your choices. It is not your problem. It is their problem. I would much rather see a thread entitled "being my own person" or "creating acceptance by example" rather than "waiting for the rainbow of acceptance" that will never happen if we keep waiting for other people to make it happen for us. Women made fashion freedom for themselves and can wear just about any male item now-a-days. Women did it because the had balls and just went out and did it. I believe that the male ego is the most frail and fragile thing in the world and am not sure if men have the balls to win fashion freedom for themselves. Most men are to worried about being incorrectly thought of as "gay" or as a "crossdresser" and that is the deterrent that keeps them toeing the macho male drab fashion line. So sad, but so true. Is is possible for males to change? I really don't know and am especially discouraged when I see threads like "waiting for the rainbow of acceptance" rather than threads that we should be creating like "creating fashion freedom" or "being myself and not givine a dam what others think", or "having the balls to wear the shoes that we want to wear". That is what we need to be thinking about.

[Histiletto]

Jamie001, I understand your frustration in your perception of the title. Coincidently, the reason I titled this thread in this way, is to bring out the nonsense of waiting for someone else to be the leader and pave the way. There is no magic potion, pill, or soapbox that will cause heeling to become acceptable as soon as we want it to be. So we have to take the initiative and go heeling. Maybe we will get the social labels, but as long as these labels don't hinder our abilities to survive and prosper, they are nothing to be concerned with. So have a good time heelin' and if enough of us wear high heels all the time, it won't matter if acceptance happens as far as we are concerned.

[Bubba136]

Isn't it great to be able to trace the evolution of the decline in male foppery to the point where it leaped across the gender gap and became exclusive to the female sex? Historians have done a remarkably good job of preserving records of an era long past. And, at the same time, isn't it great to be able to travel in our imagination into the future and envision exactly what clothing choices humans will have in another one hundred years or so? The basic problem -- and, more to the point -- is that we (those of us still alive) must live in the current environment and suffer the slights of the "brainwashed" population that does not agree with our point of view and accept our wearing our high heels in public. First of all, there isn't anyone stopping anyone, male or female, from wearing high heels in public if they are so inclined. It's not against the law. I wear my woman's shoes out in public every day as part of my normal dress. There is, however, a group of people that continue to believe that males wearing any item of woman's clothing is wrong. And, will continue to view a male dressed in female garb as engaging in deviant sexual behavior and will treat them as misfits and oddities whenever their paths cross. As much as we all would like to see present society change their feelings and allow us to appear wherever, whenever and wearing whatever we want to wear, our feelings will continue to get trod upon by those that are unwilling to acknowledge the legitimacy of our right to appear in public wearing high heels without fear of degradation or ridicule, for as long as the current generation is able to walk in public while wearing them......by that I mean it won't happen any time soon....baby!!!! So, don't hold your breath waiting for attitudes to change. So, why wait? It's easy!! Put on your thigh boots with the 4" heels and go shopping at your nearest mall. This time of year is a great time to get out and about in heels. With all that is going on, no one will probably take notice of what you are wearing anyway. I went to the mall this afternoon wearing a pair of ankle boots with 4" semi-stiletto heels. And, in the 3 hours that I wandered around different stores buying last minute gifts, I can't recall anyone noticing what I was wearing on my feet. Even the woman that gift wrapped a couple of purchases for me never noticed my black boots. It was the same in the Boarders book store. There was a woman sitting on a low shelf in one of the isles looking at a book. I stood in front of her browsing the adjacent shelves for almost 15 minutes before she stood up and walked to the cashier to pay for the book she was looking at, all the while being totally oblivious of my boots. Lesson of these outing is: Anyone that notices your shoes are less intent upon fulfilling their own Santa missions than are those that don't notice.....

[Thighboots2]

Bubba, You cant recall anyone noticing, I guess because you were not out to see if anyone did (you're long past that game). Rather you were shopping. People do notice footwear, but the time of day you were out sobriety rules and so the inhibitions that society runs by were holding good. For those who really want to wear heels whatever they style, then during the daytime and with lots of other people about is just the perfect setting. Sure kids and teenagers may well point you out, but that is because they have yet to confirm to the society norm of ingnoring anything that does not fit in with what has been programmed. This is key and should be used to advantage, and as long you do not telegraph your concern about what others MAY be thinking about your attire, then you will become invisible. Those who do register your footwear will quickly move onto something else that is concerning them. Of course, the style of footwear does have a lot to do with it, but it really is a mind game at the end of the day. I choose very sober styles and block or cuban heels as I believe these suit me better than delicate court/pump styles with slender heels, as I do for most males, but if you want to do 4" stiletto courts then for goodness sake, just do it. Women are often more thorough than men when they do a typically masculine job as they have to go so much further to show they can do the same job. Well heel wearing for us put the boot on the other foot so to speak. If you want to wear heels out and about like the girls do, then you got to be able to do it as well as, if not better than they do. You have to be totally natural in them. Nothing looks worse than a girl struggling in heels she is not able to wear, doubly so for a man. Simon.

[Puffer]

...If you want to wear heels out and about like the girls do, then you got to be able to do it as well as, if not better than they do. You have to be totally natural in them. Nothing looks worse than a girl struggling in heels she is not able to wear, doubly so for a man.

Well said, Simon! I would only add that society expects to see most women wearing heels at least some of the time, and often not too graciously. We are used to seeing the 'struggling woman' but the sight does not amuse (or irritate) us less merely because it is quite common. Alas, even the sight of a man walking competently and naturally in heels will - if truly noticed - amuse or irritate the public at large because it is not the expected norm.

And therein lies the let-out for the time being: 'if truly noticed': Bubba above and many others have shown that they can get away with wearing heels through a mixture of personal skill/discretion and public apathy but it is only the former that the wearer can really control - and so he should if any degree of public male heel wearing is to become acceptable.

[roniheels]

Thighboots2 brought up a very good point about younger people and conformity. I have found it so ironic that the same young men or women who either chuckle or make rude comments about me wearing high heels are the ones wearing goth or outlandish (like jeans with holes in them or way oversized shirts/sweaters) clothing, piercings, tatoos, make-up, and multi-colored hair. I don't even give them a second look any more but they are the ones to seem to judge me.