How would you guys handle this?

[Brandy]

Scrappy, I would recommend that you at least report this to your HR. Even if you have no intention to presue any further. Reporting to HR helps establish a prime-facie case, just in case he does it again. If no action is taken then by default he will see it as approval of his actions and may embolden him to more less savory actions. HR can not do anything unless they they have a report to work with. Not reporting or taking some kind of action tells him he got away with it and may embolden him to be more offensive next time. I believe that most city fire department have fairly strict HR departments. A formal report like this will go on his record. What you do not know what other things he has done and what his future actions maybe. Where I work at HR reports are taken very seriously.

[scrappycoco]

I know it has been awhile since I have talked about this, but I figured that I would give an update as to what has went on. Well what the guy tried to do totally back fired in his face. I have not had anyone say anything negitiave to me about it at all. As a matter of fact I had to go back to my st today to get my wallet that I left behind. I went in wearing a light purple shirt, my light blue womens jeans and my black high heeled boots. Not know what would be said by the crew that replaced me this morning I decided not to wear the boots in so I wore my sneakers in. When I got in there the new lady that started working opposite me was there. I went in to my locker and got what I needed. Well some how we got to talking and I asked her if she had heard anything about? She said that someone had mentioned it to her about it. Then she said the first thing she asked was if I was gay. To witch the person told her no that I was married with 2 kids. So as we where talking she said she thought it was cool that I was able to be me and not let someone try to shape who I am. Then she made me laugh when she said plus I don't blame you there are just way to many nice shoes out there for someone not to want to wear heels. After that before we could talk more about it they had to leave for a call. So I will be curious to see if she says anything else about it.

[Charlie]

You know a very smart lady once told me " You can not control what other people think about you! The only thing you can control is your self!" Witch is how I live my life for the most part! Honestly does it bother me that he did that! Of course it does! Only for the fact that I know exaxctly what people will think! Now my partner who I spend 1/3 of my life with know's the real truth about me! As far as the type of person I am. I know's that I am no way shape or form gay or have any intrest in men. I mean if you have looked at the heel's I have at this time they really are not there to get someone's attention. Now I know that a man wearing heel's will do that with some people. If you look at that total outfit everything except for the hose and heel's are from the men's section. Like I told my partner one day I said if they would make heel and skirt's for men and put them in the men's section then I would by them, but until they do that I have no choice bu to go to the other side of the isle! As far as shoe's go I started wearing heel's 1. cause I'm short 2. men's shoe's are ugly 3. cause I have a hell of a time finding men's shoes that fit my feet. Even the women at payless one day when I was looking for a plain pair of slip on men's dress shoe's told me if you have souch a hard time find men's shoe's that fit why don't you try the women's side! Oh well! I am going to go to my counslar tomarrow to help blow off some steam I think I just may wear that outfit in the picture! What do you guy's think?

I am with those who've advised that you don't respond at all to this jerk. That's exactly what he wants you to do. Think of him as an internet troll. If you don't feed him, he'll leave.

Charlie

[HappyinHeels]

scrappycoco, I have never sent anything addressed to you before but today is that first time. You have had the courage to express yourself exactly as you have wanted which is what this republic was founded on. You have posted many photos of your rather tasteful outfits here with your face visible. You have spoke your mind and contributed greatly to the forum. All these things you have done and you worry about the trailer trash that lies in wait, TMZ-type employee wannabes, that try to tear you down on facebook??? I'm 50 years old and never been on facebook and have no desire at all to ever be. I don't Twitter and I have never used the cell phone to access the Internet not the least of which I can't stand looking at a 2"X3" inch screen and trying to discern information from it. Bubba136 and Dawn are 1 0 0 % correct when they say posting the facebook dialogue is a waste of the space here. It absolutely is and always will be since we don't know who the initials stand for and the events that led up to this exchange. Send this crap to the delete dumpster where it and the type of person that tears you down belongs. Spend your time here where you'll continue to be appreciated. You'll get past this believe me. HappyinHeels:wavey:

[Amanda]

If you fly with the crows then you will be shot with them. What ever else could you expect after posting pictures of yourself on the Internet?

[scrappycoco]

scrappycoco,

I have never sent anything addressed to you before but today is that first time. You have had the courage to express yourself exactly as you have wanted which is what this republic was founded on. You have posted many photos of your rather tasteful outfits here with your face visible. You have spoke your mind and contributed greatly to the forum. All these things you have done and you worry about the trailer trash that lies in wait, TMZ-type employee wannabes, that try to tear you down on facebook??? I'm 50 years old and never been on facebook and have no desire at all to ever be. I don't Twitter and I have never used the cell phone to access the Internet not the least of which I can't stand looking at a 2"X3" inch screen and trying to discern information from it. Bubba136 and Dawn are 1 0 0 % correct when they say posting the facebook dialogue is a waste of the space here. It absolutely is and always will be since we don't know who the initials stand for and the events that led up to this exchange. Send this crap to the delete dumpster where it and the type of person that tears you down belongs. Spend your time here where you'll continue to be appreciated. You'll get past this believe me.

HappyinHeels:wavey:

Well at the time this was posted I was just kind of getting use to who I am as a person and trying to understand why I like what I do. I was really upset about it mainly for the fact that I did not know what my employer would say. For me learning to be who I am off the clock has been really hard. When you work in the public safety field like I do (Emergancy Medical Tech/Fire Fighter) You know that you have certain expectation's that people expect of you and a certain image to uphold. With something like a guy wearing heels and skirts being seen as it is by the public it hard to find that happy middle for someone in my line of work. I strugle with it everyday that is one of the reason that I put some of the pictures up here and ask for people's oppinions cause I want to see what the general public thinks. That is why if you have not noticed I have kind of gotten away from skirts and started leaning more toward womens pants? I am trying to present that image of look I'm still a man I just have chosen to wear different clothing than that other guy. With my main job being EMS in the rare instance that something was to happen to someone while I was off duty, by law I don't have to help, but since your genral public does not have nor posses the knowlage that I do I kind of feel obligated to help. I worry all the time while I'm out in heels that something like this will happen and I will help and someone wont want my help when they need it becuase of the way I am dressed.

If you fly with the crows then you will be shot with them.

What ever else could you expect after posting pictures of yourself on the Internet?

Well like I have said before I am not so much worried about someone seeing me or I would hide my face. My biggest issue I have is kind of the same issue you have as a female when wearing heels and what not. Do I look ok? Why are people staring at me? Does this outfit look ok on me.? I hope by explaining a little bit more about who I am as a person and what I do for a living maybe that will help you to understand why I felt the way I did when this all happened. Trust me I could of cared less that he found the picture. If I was worried about that I would not have put it out on the net for everyone too see! It was the fact that he sent the pictures to my supervisors that ticked me off. To other coworkers is one thing but all the way up the food chain that's just wrong!

[hhboots]

I agree with HappyInHeels comments Scrappycoco, that you have really contributed greatly to this forum. You have gone far beyond what I would do in terms of making this as public as you have. I still try to keep this part of my life as seperate from my professional life as possible. While I public heel, it is still rather low key and and I avoid situations where these two worlds can overlap. I would be rather devastated if the two ever did collide, and I should prepare for that as it probably is somewhat inevitable. Well, I admire your bravery and wish you the best as you deal with this and balance it with your work life.

[Rockpup]

Scrappy: I'm glad to hear it never became a big deal. And a side note, thanks for staying in the profession. They have been treating the local paramedics here like crap recently, and I know you guys don't deserve that.