How would you guys handle this?

[scrappycoco]

First let me start be saying I work full time as an EMT. My partner that I work with has know for awhile that I wear skirts. Witch other than the genral ribbing that we guy's do there is no big deal. Well the other day he sent me a text and say hay I thought you might want to know about this. It turn's out another EMT that I really don't get along with and choose to ignore for the most part got a hold of a picture that I had up on twitter along with all my post or tweet's mind you. Witch I know he was watching for awhile so I was putting a lot of stuff up on there just to do it. Stuff I wasn't even doing! Well anyway he took it appon himself to send a text message to everyone that we work with that he has in his phone book. The message that had the picture below and a bunch of my tweet's that I had put up there. Now mind you I could really care less if people know I wear heel's and skirt's. It's just the way he did it in the fact that he did it behind my back where I could not say nothing or defend myself! Not that I really need too! I mean my thought is this. If you want to poke fun at me fine but do it where I can say something back! Not behind my back! I guess my question is should I address it to him or just let it be?

[Jimnj3]

I would just let it go as if this is no big deal. I am sure he is looking for a reaction and if he gets none than it will be no fun for him. You opened yourself up for this one by posting on Twitter. Why in the world would you do that if you didn't want it known? I'll bet nothing much more happens if you just leave it be. What he did was wrong to do but if you aggravate him it most likely will continue. Just my thoughts. Jim

[Bubba136]

First, let me start by saying that if you are shy, self-consciences or concerned about everyone in your circle of acquaintances learning that you wear high heels, skirts, etc., why on earth would you ever post pictures of yourself engaged in the very activity that you want, for the most part, to keep "to yourself?" Why on earth would you post pictures of yourself so dressed on/in any media venue with such a huge participation? Even posting your pictures here on hhplace has it's perils and you post them fully knowing the risks. Secondly, how would I handle this situation? I believe I'd not ever bring the subject up and if it ever came up, I'd tell the truth and answer any questions truthfully -- acknowledging but not amplifying. After all, "I" posted my pictures on these sites and venues fully knowing the risk that someone "unfriendly" might find them and seek to demean me in the eyes of friends, associations and workmates. The less attention you attract to the subject, the sooner it will recede into the past and it will cease to be a item of curiosity or interest. While people won't forget, the issue will just become another pixel of information about you that comprises your overall personality. As to the person that sought to humiliate you and/or damage your reputation, being open and upfront with the subject might place this individual in an unfavorable position because he spitefully tried to cause you harm and damage your reputation. And, keep in mind of the recently passed legislation concerning "hate crimes." Perhaps this guy just might have put himself in jeopardy by taking action that might possibly place you in harms way.

[FXHH]

First, let me start by saying that if you are shy, self-consciences or concerned about everyone in your circle of acquaintances learning that you wear high heels, skirts, etc., why on earth would you ever post pictures of yourself engaged in the very activity that you want, for the most part, to keep "to yourself?" Why on earth would you post pictures of yourself so dressed on/in any media venue with such a huge participation? Even posting your pictures here on hhplace has it's perils and you post them fully knowing the risks.

Secondly, how would I handle this situation? I believe I'd not ever bring the subject up and if it ever came up, I'd tell the truth and answer any questions truthfully -- acknowledging but not amplifying. After all, "I" posted my pictures on these sites and venues fully knowing the risk that someone "unfriendly" might find them and seek to demean me in the eyes of friends, associations and workmates. The less attention you attract to the subject, the sooner it will recede into the past and it will cease to be a item of curiosity or interest. While people won't forget, the issue will just become another pixel of information about you that comprises your overall personality.

As to the person that sought to humiliate you and/or damage your reputation, being open and upfront with the subject might place this individual in an unfavorable position because he spitefully tried to cause you harm and damage your reputation. And, keep in mind of the recently passed legislation concerning "hate crimes." Perhaps this guy just might have put himself in jeopardy by taking action that might possibly place you in harms way.

could not of put it any better!!!

[Dr. Shoe]

It says more about him than it does you. Everybody is now going to know now not to trust him and that can only diminish him and not you.

[kingfishj8]

I'm with Bubba136 on this one. He is trying to harm you by capitalizing on a perception of gender based bias. By doing so, he presents a gender bias (bigoted nature) of his own. When questioned on your motivations, be honest and straightforward. For example, here are some of my own reasons for wearing high heels, skirts (etc): For a long time I have been absolutely enchanted by certain looks. They include tall boots, skirts, and also effect that high heels have on posture and presentation of the lower leg. I like seeing people dressed in these kinds of clothes and want to see more of it. By wearing them myself, I am putting my money where my mouth is. It also dispels, in the strongest manner, any assumption that I might be objectifying or degrading women. In short I think the look(s) are sexy and I'm doing it to promote the look without coercion. I'm also doing it to to promote equality between men and women. Our society shouldn't be saddled with stereotypes based on a person's sex. When I do it, it is with absolute and positive confidence, and a sense of ownership over my actions. Without it, I might as well just hide in among the masses, jealous or fearful of anyone who stands out. That sense of confidence is remarkably empowering. Doing it with that confidence makes me feel free.

[Rockpup]

Scrappycoco: What you do on your own time should be fine, unless it involves your issue uniform. Thats where my b/f got in trouble. In-between times working at a specific station he gave me permission to post a pic of the two of us, him in his firefighting uniform. He didnt mind since he was not working at the station at the time. Fast forward a few months, he started working at the station and I forgot the picture was up there.. A co-worker with a grudge found it, and sent it anonymously to the Cheif and all the members of the local fire board. It was not good. Moral of the story? Do what you want -out- of uniform

[wood&metal]

All I'd have to offer is probably bad advice.....

[kneehighs]

Let it go. Act like it was never even mentioned by him tobegin with. Good luck

[scrappycoco]

Trust me on this I am in no way shy about the fact of wearing skirt's and heel's is a part of who I am! I knew full well that someone would or could possaibly run across that picture. I haven't said anything to him and I proably wont. This is unless he say's something to my face about it! The thing that strike's me as funny as this guy is a year or 2 older than me and is working his way through school to be an attorney. So you would think someone like that would be a little more mature! Honestly it doesn't bother me that he sent the picture out to people that I work with, cause most of the people that I work with are mature enough for it to be no big deal! I mean I don't mind if people poke fun as long as you give me the chance to say something back! I just hate it when someone does this behind my back and I don't know about it until I get blind sided by it. It was nice of my partner to tell me ahead of time so that I wouldn't be blind sided by it. I mean hell my partner has know I wear skirt's for awhile now and evey now and then he poke's fun at me, but at least I have the ability to say something back! Like I told my partner the next shift we worked I said "It don't really matter cause even if I was a goth or something a person like him would us that to try to make fun of me!" So who know's we will just have to wait and see if anything come's of it!

[William]

What others do, you cannot control. How others think, you cannot change. What he did could have some negative consequences for you down the road. It was not right for him to take that risk on your behalf, regardless of his good or bad intentions toward you. On the other hand, what anyone does can only bother you to the extent to that which you allow it to bother you. Personally, I might be a bit embarrassed that pictures of me are being sent to who knows who. But then again, I'm not you. You are free to feel how you feel and to express your concerns to your friend. If it were me, I might send back a picture of myself in stripper heels, or better yet, blow it up and stick it inside his locker for everyone to see... hehehe.

[roniheels]

I would simply say, let it go. He's not worth the aggrivation he is causing you. If you are happy wearing the clothes and shoes you enjoy wearing, do so. If confronted by others asking about you wearing skirts and high heels, be honest and upfront with them. You will possibly get both negative and posiitive responses, but everyone should respect your honesty and openness about it.

[Guest]

As many have said let it go, your co-worker may get more back than he can chew! Others may come forward and ask............be yourself answer as you think fit for that person, even a "yes that was me" says something and nothing. If management ask............same answer but with additions, like, someone was trying to be funny (they get the message all was not approved). If you know the manager and it's safe "why, what do you do" can be a way of making it all a joke. Many at work know about me, even a couple of security guards. I get a bit of stick but so does our goth cleaner, the rabbit man, etc etc. I'm not blatant, I get some challenges re "dressing" I have a stock reply about plasterers and brickies and its a no I'm not fem and I'm not copying. I wont insult the real thing. Stay cool and let it flow. Al

[HappyinHeels]

Hey Scrappy!! I agree with the straightforward and honest approach put forth by many here and you have always come across as exactly that!!

[scrappycoco]

You know a very smart lady once told me " You can not control what other people think about you! The only thing you can control is your self!" Witch is how I live my life for the most part! Honestly does it bother me that he did that! Of course it does! Only for the fact that I know exaxctly what people will think! Now my partner who I spend 1/3 of my life with know's the real truth about me! As far as the type of person I am. I know's that I am no way shape or form gay or have any intrest in men. I mean if you have looked at the heel's I have at this time they really are not there to get someone's attention. Now I know that a man wearing heel's will do that with some people. If you look at that total outfit everything except for the hose and heel's are from the men's section. Like I told my partner one day I said if they would make heel and skirt's for men and put them in the men's section then I would by them, but until they do that I have no choice bu to go to the other side of the isle! As far as shoe's go I started wearing heel's 1. cause I'm short 2. men's shoe's are ugly 3. cause I have a hell of a time finding men's shoes that fit my feet. Even the women at payless one day when I was looking for a plain pair of slip on men's dress shoe's told me if you have souch a hard time find men's shoe's that fit why don't you try the women's side! Oh well! I am going to go to my counslar tomarrow to help blow off some steam I think I just may wear that outfit in the picture! What do you guy's think?

[partyshoes]

It says more about him than it does you.

Everybody is now going to know now not to trust him and that can only diminish him and not you.

I agree with Dr Shoe. From what I've read so far, you've not had any adverse reactions from people who he told so its safe to assume that they either dont mind or dont care. Either way I dont think you have anything to worry about - but he will be down as untrustworthy. Ignore him

PS Re visit to counsellor - go for it, its a nice outfit

[Dawn HH]

Go back and reread this thread a couple of times again. Especially the way that Bubba puts it as I could not have said it any better. Let sleeping dogs lie is good advise in many ways. Good luck and let it all die a permanent death. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[benno]

I think it's a crying shame that you can't sue someone for being a total plonker. Maybe he's simply jealous.

[HappyFeat]

There is a flip-side to all of this. He actually did you a favor. Now you should not have any apprehension about going anywhere in heels, etc. any time you want. You are now totally liberated and this dude is still an ass. Sounds like you win!

[Phoenix]

I think it's a crying shame that you can't sue someone for being a total plonker.

Maybe he's simply jealous.

Being unfamiliar with the expression. What is a plonker?

[Bubba136]

Now you should not have any apprehension about going anywhere in heels, etc. any time you want.

Except stay off of the fire trucks when wearing your heels....they might scratch that shinny red paint....and, woe be the one to put a mark on the shinny red paint...:wave:...

:clap:file:///C:/Users/Owner/AppData/Local/Temp/moz-screenshot.png

[heelguy]

Being unfamiliar with the expression. What is a plonker?

haha, a plonker is just another word for an idiotic person, just like the words.. "prat, fool, idiot, dope" etc etc

to qoute the great Derek Trotter.. "you plonker Rodney!"

(im from the UK, i just live in aus now)

[Phoenix]

Thanks. I had never heard that word used before.

[benno]

Plonker is a not very rude slang name for a willy or knob or cock or whatever you call it.

[Kittyinboots]

Another way of looking at the Twitter situation is that "it goes with the territory". When you post on the web, you are exposing yourself to the general public. Much like wearing your heels out in public, it goes with the territory. You can expect to get a few negative reactions, double takes, snickers, people taking your picture, and even running into someone you know. So in this case I would have to let it slide since I asked for attention. Just my thoughts in addition to what was said by other members.

[HappyFeat]

Except stay off of the fire trucks when wearing your heels....they might scratch that shinny red paint....and, woe be the one to put a mark on the shinny red paint..

And here I have been looking for a place to wear my red patent pumps...guess there goes the firetruck idea.

[skirtsnhose]

The thing that strike's me as funny as this guy is a year or 2 older than me and is working his way through school to be an attorney. So you would think someone like that would be a little more mature!

You obviously haven't met many attorneys. We're an immature lot.

[scrappycoco]

Just kinf of an update. Nothing has really been said about it accept for the genral poking fun. Most of the people I work with said what he did was a bad move on his part. Most of the women are cool with it one said I needed to get some shoe's that didn't look like her gramdma's. I just laughed. So anyway I think his little way of poking fun at me didn't work and kind of back fired in his face.

[scrappycoco]

This is just a recent exhange that I had with someone on facebook about the way i dress It's quite lengthy so here we go!

KC I wish people would stop worrying about what other people are or are not doing.....

BH What u up 2? lol just playin!

December 18, 2009 at 4:27pm

KC nice lol

December 18, 2009 at 4:28pm

KC no Jo Jo...just a thought. Oh, good evening :-)

December 18, 2009 at 4:31pm

KtC Sorry!!! I was worrying about what ppl were doing. JoJo, we are worried about you tonight

December 18, 2009 at 4:34pm

KC You should be.......jk Spanky

December 18, 2009 at 4:36pm

SOM I was just doing something.... You should ALL worry!

December 18, 2009 at 4:37pm

TEJ I totally agree katie.

December 18, 2009 at 4:38pm

KtC Sandee, I am worried about what you were doing to cause what you did!!! WOW Katie, I thought we were friends!

December 18, 2009 at 4:39pm

KC That sounds like trouble....

December 18, 2009 at 4:41pm

KC Wow lol

December 18, 2009 at 4:42pm

KtC i'm not mad at Katie. . . who could be?? I was just commenting on what she said to me. I'm worried about being worried because of what you are worried about cuz Sandee is worried about it as well

December 18, 2009 at 4:43pm

SOM Because it will TOTALLY effect our evening ya know... Worried.....

December 18, 2009 at 4:44pm

KC I wasn't worried about what Sandee was doing....but the way Jo Jo and Spanky are worrying, It's making me start to worry about Sandee....

December 18, 2009 at 4:46pm

(There was a comment that was left out by Jo Jo That said something like this "Worrried about seeing Gwinner in his Izod skirt and Heels!")

KC Hahaha! That's the last thing I want to worry about...or think about.

December 18, 2009 at 4:47pm

KtC WOW!!! Well alright then. Guess thats how it is.

December 18, 2009 at 4:48pm

KC You guys are so silly

December 18, 2009 at 4:49pm

KtC I'm done worrying now. . . . . . I think!

December 18, 2009 at 4:51pm

SOM I am the last thing you want to worry about? :-( MEAN

December 18, 2009 at 4:51pm

KtC I know Sandee, I was thinking the same thing! Guess Katie doesnt want to be our friend anymore

December 18, 2009 at 4:52pm

KC I didn't mean you guys....i ment Mr. Skirt wearing man

December 18, 2009 at 4:55pm

KtC Trying to cover up the obvious Katherine?? We see how it really is now!

December 18, 2009 at 4:57pm

SOM LOL (secretly I knew)

December 18, 2009 at 4:57pm

KC why didnt you tell me Sandee??? I didnt know!

December 18, 2009 at 4:57pm

KC I'm not covering anything up lol

December 18, 2009 at 4:58pm

( I think there was another comment by Jo Jo Here but don't rember)

KtC Well what the hell???!!!

December 18, 2009 at 4:59pm

KC ewwww

December 18, 2009 at 4:59pm

KtC Oh the BETRAYL!!!

December 18, 2009 at 5:00pm

KtC I'm hurt! And now no one is worried

December 18, 2009 at 5:01pm

KC Poor thing

December 18, 2009 at 5:01pm

KtC and I thought we had something special . . . . .

December 18, 2009 at 5:02pm

SOM I AM worried.... (Softing Kurt's Hair)

December 18, 2009 at 5:02pm

KC Who? You and Jo? Or me and you?

December 18, 2009 at 5:02pm

KC Thanks Sandee!!! I thought I could count on someone else. But I knew it would always be you

December 18, 2009 at 5:03pm

SOM Yep!

December 18, 2009 at 5:06pm

KtC I could never repay her for being here for me. Just used and abused again! You would think I would learn

December 18, 2009 at 5:06pm

SOM I plunged for you Kurt! I mean, Like really... Who does that?

December 18, 2009 at 5:07pm

KtC I would plunge for you too Sandee. You are a true friend. Thank you for worrying Jo Jo. At least you are willing to think of me

December 18, 2009 at 5:08pm

KC I didn't mean to hurt anyone!

December 18, 2009 at 5:08pm

SOM You are just a hurtful little Bully aren't you! For shame Katie....

December 18, 2009 at 5:09pm

AMC WOW...I am soooo lost!!! But I know who, er, what I am doing, so its all good!!! so ya soon, sister!!

December 18, 2009 at 5:09pm

SOM Where have you been Angela! I have been worried sick!

December 18, 2009 at 5:10pm

KtC Dont shun Katie! Its ok. I will move on and be fine

December 18, 2009 at 5:10pm

SOM I will help you pick up the pieces Kurt... Once again I am here for you sniff sniff...

December 18, 2009 at 5:11pm

AMC hey!! I'm the nice sister!!! Sorry sandee, I can only do so much from my little p.o.s phone!

December 18, 2009 at 5:11pm

SOM Hinky 911!

December 18, 2009 at 5:11pm

KCl Thanks Jo Jo. I appreciate that

December 18, 2009 at 5:11pm

SOM Look at us gooooo

December 18, 2009 at 5:12pm

KC I didn't mean to hurt anyone...i was just stating a thought. You guys be safe on your 911

December 18, 2009 at 5:28pm

KC Ya..i know. Silly kids

December 18, 2009 at 5:54pm

(Now here is where I find out that Jo Jo was talking about me)

Steve Gwinner I not worried about what anyone is worrying about. But if people keep talking about me in skirts and pumps then they must be too worried about what I'm doing. Hmmmmm..... food for thought.

December 18, 2009 at 6:27pm ·

(Too witch Jo Jo replys ( I think I just gained a little respect for you!)

Steve Gwinner That makes me just all warm and fuzzy in side to know that! Little did u know no matter how much u worried about me. Believe it or not I still respected u. Hmmm...... more food for thought.

December 18, 2009 at 6:41pm ·

KC Hey steve- if you want to do that..more power to ya hun. Whatever makes ya happy :-) who cares what people say

December 18, 2009 at 6:43pm

KtC I was worried about our dislocated kneww we had, but we fixed it. LOL

December 18, 2009 at 6:47pm

( To witch Jo Jo say's " Now deep thought's")

Steve Gwinner I have no deep thoughts. Just pondering that's all.

December 18, 2009 at 7:10pm ·

I put this whole long face book exhange in here to kind of show you the type of person that this Jo Jo is. As you can see for the other people sake I removed there whole name except for mine. I haven't talked to or talked about this person in a long time. As a matter of fact I make it a point not to if I don't have too. As you can see he is such a brave man that he can talk about me on face book and set it so I can't see what he is saying. I think the way I handled this whole thing was in a good way. This whole thing got started cause someone told KC that i was worried about the fact that she called off again. To witch I never said a word. I could really care less what people do. Oh and by the way Jo Jo is the one that sent that picture out if most of have not figured it out by now! So how do you guy's think I handled this?

[Bubba136]

why do you waste your time? I know I'd not if I were you...... Don't mess with people like these! The entire exchange was pointless to post here because it's hard to tell the players without a program .... (which one is you?)