MEME9 Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 Well you will have to bare with me i'm kind of new to all of this so I hope this is right place to post.I'll start with a little history,I have loved high heels as long as I can remember 6 or 7 years old sneaking around try moms heels on. Now that i'm in my 40's i have bought so many pair of shoes only to feel ashamed and throw them away in a week or two. I live in a small conservitive town (would be the laughing stock if anybody knew) so I live with this torment everyday! I have A great family wife and kids and could not stand the thought of letting them down or hurting them in anyway shape or form but anytime I get to wear my high heel it feels so good & right but when i put them up I feel so guilty and ashamed I tell myself never again but within a few days or even hours I can't wait to do it again.So I guess the big question is this an addiction or is it some kind of sickness or I'm just wired wrong.How do others deal with this!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
astrid Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 Hi, Wow, there are some pretty heavy sentiments in there. Firstly, wearing heels feels good and right for you because it is a part of you as a person. Every person in the world is different, each of us have our unique likes and dislikes and heels is one of yours. Its certainly no addiction, it's something you have been born with, as you said. At most it is a fetish. I have no experience of the other aspects in your post, family/ small town so I cant really comment. Do you feel shame in relation to your love of heels? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guy N. Heels Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 Well you will have to bare with me i'm kind of new to all of this so I hope this is right place to post.I'll start with a little history,I have loved high heels as long as I can remember 6 or 7 years old sneaking around try moms heels on. Now that i'm in my 40's i have bought so many pair of shoes only to feel ashamed and throw them away in a week or two. I live in a small conservitive town (would be the laughing stock if anybody knew) so I live with this torment everyday! I have A great family wife and kids and could not stand the thought of letting them down or hurting them in anyway shape or form but anytime I get to wear my high heel it feels so good & right but when i put them up I feel so guilty and ashamed I tell myself never again but within a few days or even hours I can't wait to do it again.So I guess the big question is this an addiction or is it some kind of sickness or I'm just wired wrong.How do others deal with this!! Hi there MEME, and welcome to the forum. One thing's for sure, you're in good company here, as I'm sure that a great many of us can relate to what yer saying. So the first thing I want to do is get you to accept your attraction to heels. It's perfectly okay and a good number of us could tell a story very similar to yours. Then the next thing I would hope to do is to get you to knock-off those guilt-feelings and the purges. Since many of us have thrown-out a small fortune in shoes, it just doesn't make any sense (not to mention that it's expen$ive). So why throw them out today if you're only going to go out and replace them again next week or next month? That's insane! So yer first order of business is to accept the fact that you like heels, and next you need to quit wasting time and money with that endless buy - purge; buy - purge cycle. Next, you need to start hanging around here. Most of us have been through exactly what yer talking about and so we know all about it. So just relax and unburden yourself here, where men not only wear heels, but we don't mind talking about it either. Keep on stepping, Guy N. Heels Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FXHH Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 am not very good at putting my mind to paper, so will use words from "Guy N. Heels'' thanx GREAT WORDS OF ADVICE HERE!!!!! One thing's for sure, you're in good company here, as I'm sure that a great many of us can relate to what yer saying. So the first thing I want to do is get you to accept your attraction to heels. It's perfectly okay and a good number of us could tell a story very similar to yours. Then the next thing I would hope to do is to get you to knock-off those guilt-feelings and the purges. Since many of us have thrown-out a small fortune in shoes, it just doesn't make any sense (not to mention that it's expen$ive). So why throw them out today if you're only going to go out and replace them again next week or next month? That's insane! So yer first order of business is to accept the fact that you like heels, and next you need to quit wasting time and money with that endless buy - purge; buy - purge cycle. Next, you need to start hanging around here. Most of us have been through exactly what yer talking about and so we know all about it. So just relax and unburden yourself here, where men not only wear heels, but we don't mind talking about it either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 Welcome you are not alone in these feelings, thoughts and as it was put "the purge cycle" we are all similar minded about heels ...... the variable is what is worn with them but that is another issue. you will find many of us hiding behind closed doors some in the shadows and a few out there in the spotlight. please feel at home, enjoy the forums and confidence in what you feel will manifest itself, questions answered and friends made. Welcome Al Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Histiletto Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 MEME9, You're among many here who can substitute their name for yours in the presentation you have given. It not easy to live in a world that tells you that you can't be who you are because it not the social standard. It's also harder to go through this life alone, especially in your position as a part of the traditional family unit. Have you had the opportunity to share any of your feelings and concerns with your wife? Committed couples need to share the passions they have with their mates. If she wears heels also, find out why and then you could tell her of your similar experiences. She could be your strongest supporter when she understands your feelings, past heeling activities (good and bad), and your fantasies for high heels. Then reestablish your continued feelings of love for her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba136 Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 Welcome to hhplace, MEME9:wavey: I'm sure that we can help with any situation that arises. Just let us know and we're here for you. Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEME9 Posted March 18, 2009 Author Share Posted March 18, 2009 Just like to say thanks to everyone! It's nice to know you not alone in this crazy world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bladerunner Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 Hi meme9 yep its a crazy world o.k.! and nope your not alone! but your not crazy though,i do feel guilty on occasion but only because i'm a bit of a spend thrift! As i have gotten older i have come to realise that you only live once and a little of what you fancy wont hurt,as one member has said to me,not everybody needs to know your buisness. It maybe an idea to chat to your wife but only you will know if this is possible.You will have to make some sort of choice though,i have and its not all plain sailing,but thats life. One good thing is that you have found this site and can let off some steam a bit,just having somehere to chat is a big help. I just love those suede heels!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guy N. Heels Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 Next, you'll need to spend some time here just snooping around this site. We've got guys who have covered just about every topic under the sun. So the next time you have a question, go into the search mode and look around here. Most likely somebody has already asked that same question. Here we deal with everything from swapping and selling shoes, to repairing 'em, wearing them, and a whole lot more. Keep on stepping, Guy N. Heels Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PatentHeel Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 .So I guess the big question is this an addiction or is it some kind of sickness or I'm just wired wrong.How do others deal with this!! Hi, sorry only just replying to this now. I wouldn't say it was a sickness and your not wired wrong, and it may not necessarily be an addiction. There are many factors why we all like to wear heels. For some here they just want to be able to wear heels normally in society without ridicule. For others, it may be a fetish which they enjoy either privately or with others. Some may like the feeling they get of wearing heels and the height they can achieve. In my case, it is definitely both a fetish and an addiction! With regards to dealing with it, being a member here helps enormously as you quickly realise that your not alone. Everybody deals with it differently and it all depends on how YOU want to handle it. Listening to advice here at hhplace helps and it certainly helped me to come clean and confess my fetish for heels to my wife. Luckily for me she was very supportive and understanding. This may not be the case for others and they may offer you different advice. No matter how you choose to deal with it, never ever think you are a freak because your not! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TooTall Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 Nah, that's just expectations of others working on you. I'm in a similar position. Live in a small, conservative community. Got two young daughters, and it just wouldn't be right to have their peers ridicule them over something their dad did. Let's be flat honest here - men in heels won't play in a small conservative town, and with a family, you probably don't need to break new social ground with a group that just won't accept it. Your family would pay the price. I know exactly how you feel. As for me, I just love the way heels feel. Not into the really high ones (well, might try some someday), but 3-4" stilettos, I feel elegant in them. Dressed correctly, I think I look good. Nothing wrong with that, they're just shoes after all. Remember that court heels were worn first by men in the 1800's. The modern pump is directly descended from the court heel. Couple of things you might try: Look up a Walk A Mile In Her Shoes event. They're held all over the place, google it and you should find their main page. That's what got me started in heels, it's a charity where men walk a mile in heels, and darn it, I liked the way they felt. It's a fun way to do a bit of street heeling without feeling self conscious. Heck, your wife might get a hoot out of it, mine sure did. You can stealth heel with some really good cowboy boots. Some of the better ones come with up to a 2.5" heel. Pointy toes, too. Isn't that odd - the most manly of footwear is really just a mid heel pump. The effect is somewhat the same, even if they don't have the ultra light weight of a well made pump. Again, there's nothing wrong with loving the way this footwear feels. I have a pair of Nine West's that are just dreamy to walk in. If only men's shoes felt this good. Now, if you were going around kicking people with 4" stilettos, that might be a problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba136 Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 -- there's nothing wrong with loving the way this footwear feels. I have a pair of Nine West's that are just dreamy to walk in. If only men's shoes felt this good. TooTall summed it up in one short sentence. Nothing more to say.....(unless you want to add something about styles available and fashion choices). Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kris Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 Wow now that rings very familiar. I have been in those shoes so to speak. I told my wife about my desires early on and did not phase her in the least. I too live in a small town where I was self employed for many years. To be seen in heels just wouldnt fly. My children would have gone nuts I suppose if they knew. My wife and I have for years taken weekend trips when we could afford it to get away. We would go to a large city where no one knew us and I could wear my heels without worry. This may be an option for you also. We still do the occassional trip out of town now that the kids are grown. I totally understand where you are coming from. So hang in there and just know that you are not alone. I thought I was the only one for many years. Take care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEME9 Posted April 1, 2009 Author Share Posted April 1, 2009 Thanks this site and you guys make someone feel better about them selves Thanks again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benno Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 I don't believe in right and wrong. To me there is just accepting or not accepting. A few of my guides to life are... The difference between genius and madness is success. It's easier to gain forgiveness than permission. Tell the truth... It's easier to remember. Do what you like. It's your life. Be honest with people as they don't like strange surprises. I have heard before that you only have to do/try something 10 times before it seems normal. I used to hate sushi but now I eat it at least twice a week. I'm rambling but I hope you get my drift. Thanks, Ben Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
docs41 Posted April 26, 2009 Share Posted April 26, 2009 Not to worry, MEME9, you definitely are not alone here. Many of us have had questions about our shoe "thing". Finding this site really helped me to the point where I have become far more daring in my shoe choices for public wear, including work. About it being a sickness, if it is then many here are afflicted including myself and believe me, I don't want a cure! To quote an old Humble Pie song, "I don't need no doctor!" Welcome... If the shoe fits-buy it!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vassies Posted April 27, 2009 Share Posted April 27, 2009 well i am new here too and like yourself have been wearing heels for as long as i can remember. my take on it is you are not breaking any laws if you want to wear heels in whatever situation you are comfortable with then you do that. everyone has the right to express themselves in whatever way they choose. you are not sick ill or wierd just because you wear shoes/boots that the fashion followers in society have decided are womens. my boots are not womens they are mine!! having had a good read through this great site i feel more comfortable than ever with who i am and i hope the same happens with you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heelma Posted April 27, 2009 Share Posted April 27, 2009 Well you will have to bare with me i'm kind of new to all of this so I hope this is right place to post.I'll start with a little history,I have loved high heels as long as I can remember 6 or 7 years old sneaking around try moms heels on. Now that i'm in my 40's i have bought so many pair of shoes only to feel ashamed and throw them away in a week or two. I live in a small conservitive town (would be the laughing stock if anybody knew) so I live with this torment everyday! I have A great family wife and kids and could not stand the thought of letting them down or hurting them in anyway shape or form but anytime I get to wear my high heel it feels so good & right but when i put them up I feel so guilty and ashamed I tell myself never again but within a few days or even hours I can't wait to do it again.So I guess the big question is this an addiction or is it some kind of sickness or I'm just wired wrong.How do others deal with this!! Sounds familiar indeed. Look around here and you'll find many similar cases and also solutions that work for them. Are you actually putting on your heels at home or outside somewhere? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bad_Robot Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 I can empathize with what you are going through having travelled a very similar path in my journey, started youny playing and liking my moms boots, then onto the teen years when I started buying them and wearing them when my folks were out and then when I got my own place I could wear them all the time at home, but I could never wear them in my home town firstly because it was a very small community and secondly I was well know in the town as I ran a business where I came in to contact with most of the townsfolk and I don't think they are ready for that and besides my line of work does not lend itself to Heels....anyway.....don't feel bad about yourself...you are NORMAL...Don't Panic!!! We are here to guide and support you through this difficult time....we have all been then and felt the pressure of coming clean...but it is a far great burden to carry the secret then it is to be open and honest not only with yourself but also your wife who hopefully understand what you passion for shoes is about. Hope it all works out for you.....feel free to contact if you have any issues you wish to talk about.....we are here to help Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEME9 Posted May 11, 2009 Author Share Posted May 11, 2009 Well I guess the next issue that could be wrong is spending the money! It,s not like I'm spending the house payment or anything and try to limit myself to a new pair every 2 weeks but I do like to see that brown truck in the driveway.there is nothing like trying on a pair of new heels for the first time it just fells right! Thank's for listening!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roniheels Posted May 13, 2009 Share Posted May 13, 2009 As many of the others have stated, be yourself, enjoy your desires, and wear high heels as often as you enjoy wearing them and wherever you enjoy wearing them. I wear high heels in public daily and enjoy all of the reactions that I receive. To me, that is part of the fun and the thrill. And as you have seen, you're not alone with your feelings for the love of high heels. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vassies Posted May 13, 2009 Share Posted May 13, 2009 Now that i'm in my 40's i have bought so many pair of shoes only to feel ashamed and throw them away in a week or two. hi are you still in this cycle of buy wear throw away? because that would be expensive. you have nothing to be ashamed of there is nothing wrong with being yourself as we have all said before YOU ARE DOING NOTHING WRONG i take it you work so you earn money if that is the case why not spend a little bit on something that makes you happy. if it wasnt shoes i am sure you would find something else to spend it on. i hope this helps all the best Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimslimbs Posted May 13, 2009 Share Posted May 13, 2009 Meme, YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE!!! so live. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dww Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 I think we have all been there, buy wear (not really the ones I wanted, impluse buy) then throw them away, and still looking for the right ones, must have thrown away 50 pairs over a period of time, nowadays I spend time and effort to find the ones I really want. life is not a rehearsal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thighboots2 Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Buy - Wear - put away. Its so much cheaper. Are you confusing me with someone who gives a damn? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guy N. Heels Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 Buy - Wear - put away. Its so much cheaper. To buy, wear, and put away is the thing sensible people do. To buy, wear, and throw away is not only expen$ive, but also INSANE! That's literally throwing away good money that you could have put to some other use! Think on it! Even giving the money to some charity would accomplish much more. Besides, yer going to find that there is no one "perfect" pair of shoes that will last you for all time. Yer need for 1 pair quickly becomes a need for 2, then 4 and so-on. So if you have any notions about buying one single pair that will satisfy you for all time, you may dismiss them now - that's also insane! Your best bet is to hang around here with us and find out what real men who actually wear high heels are doing - both with their shoes and their lives. Keep on stepping, Guy N. Heels Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts