PatentHeel Posted October 24, 2008 Posted October 24, 2008 Forgive me if this is long but I'm trying really hard to make sense of it all. If you have read my introduction you will know that my obsession with heels and in particular black patent leather goes right back to my teen days. Before stumbling upon HHPlace, I used to think that there was something seriously wrong with me, thinking it was odd for a male to have so many pairs of patent heels stashed away. Finding the forum, I soon realised that I wasn't the only male who was into heels and it made me feel better about myself. HHPlace even helped me to be open about my obsession for heels with my wife, something which I will always thank HHPlace for. Anyway, today I was out for lunch and as I passed a shop, out of the corner of my eye I noticed some black patent strappy heels. It was only a quick glance and unfortunately at the time I was unable to go back and check it out further. In the back of my mind I just knew they were the kind I liked but I couldn't be sure for definite without a proper look. All afternoon I had butterflies in my stomach, I couldn't help thinking about them and the hours couldn't pass quick enough before finishing work. As soon as it was time to go home, it was straight back to the shop to examine them further. I can tell you it wasn't a wasted trip and with my heart racing and incredible rush coming over my body, I made my purchase and left the shop. Given the racing heart and the "rush" feeling experienced, I struggle to find the words to explain how in-animate objects such as a pair of heels can be so powerful as to make one feel like that. I get the same feeling whenever I look around shoe shops and see the heels on display, especially with all the fancy lighting which makes them shine. I have to fight to keep my hands out of my wallet I can tell you!!! It's my guessing that its a combination of the patent leather material itself plus the style of heel which is the contributing factor in the feelings I'm experiencing. What's going on, can anyone explain? Does anybody else feel like this?
kutenkinky Posted October 24, 2008 Posted October 24, 2008 I think it is the idea that sexy shoes represents sex. The curve of a shoe and the arch of a woman's foot really sings to me! M_/|_/| NYC
PatentHeel Posted October 24, 2008 Author Posted October 24, 2008 nope sex doesn't even come into the equation as far as i'm concerned.
t-strap lover Posted October 24, 2008 Posted October 24, 2008 I think it is the idea that sexy shoes represents sex. The curve of a shoe and the arch of a woman's foot really sings to me! you got it. t-straps are my favorite style.
Histiletto Posted October 24, 2008 Posted October 24, 2008 Hey PatentHeel, From your descriptions as to how you feel about high heels, especially those of black patent, we share a lot of the same feelings. However, the in-animate objects or footwear in our case, do not have any more power than other bits of matter have to control anything more than the space they occupy. We humans have developed the idea of blaming anything or anyone to absolve us of the actions or thoughts we seem to be able to initiate very well on our own. I guess this comes from society choosing what they think is best for everyone and we are expected to follow their dictations or demands. Never-the-less, we make choices every day based on who we are in the circumstances we find ourselves. Social standards can't change that, they just try to limit our options in the choosing. WHERE IS THE POWER FROM? It's in this essense or entity of who we are that give us these feelings and desires. No one forced us to have these senses, they are just there. At a really young age, I knew what I liked and one of them, especially for this discussion, is the black patent leather Mary Janes that I had some access to. The more I was denied wearing them, the more I wanted to wear them. As I got older I began to understand the social dynamics of this situation, but that didn't curb how I felt about wearing the patent Mary Janes. I suppose I could choose to deny and ignore who I am, but I figured there was never going to be a time that something wouldn't effect me and bring out my feelings, reminding me of who the real me is. It narrowed down to, if I can't be who I am, why am I? I did exist, therefore, my feelings and desires were just as valid as the opposition that said I didn't feel the things I did. So, you can understand why I could believe me and not what I was told.
fastfreddy2 Posted October 24, 2008 Posted October 24, 2008 ..... I can tell you it wasn't a wasted trip and with my heart racing and incredible rush coming over my body, I made my purchase and left the shop. Given the racing heart and the "rush" feeling experienced, I struggle to find the words to explain how in-animate objects such as a pair of heels can be so powerful as to make one feel like that. I get the same feeling whenever I look around shoe shops and see the heels on display, especially with all the fancy lighting which makes them shine. ..... What's going on, can anyone explain? Does anybody else feel like this? Yes, I have the same (extreme) feelings. It's association. I'm not going to try to give a deep meaningful explanation (tired) but the heels are filling the 'school-boy crush' part of your life you don't have and you miss. [Excitement.] For me, they are pure fanasy. [Wich historically I've usually managed to turn into reality.] They're attainable (unlike so many of the things I enjoy that aren't any longer), and I get a continually reinforced satisfaction from their attainment. It's a not-particularly-healthy-place to be really. Some may not like the label, but I've seldom refuted I have an obsession. I believe you have one too. I'd offer it's not a problem as long as it doesn't become unhealthy, though a qualified doctor might be the only arbitor of where the healthy/unhealthy theshold is. Asking me would certainly be a waste of energy because I'm well into the questionable side. I hope you can take these words in good spirit. I've been fairly self-effacing about me, and I'm certainly not trying to be unkind to you or anyone else either. As always, loving your avatar.
PatentHeel Posted October 25, 2008 Author Posted October 25, 2008 Thanks for that Fastfreddy2. Yes, it is an obsession but I like to think of it as an healthy one. If I see someone in the street wearing patent heels I may glance but I certainly don't ogle. I like to appreciate the heels and if I really like the style I try to buy them or something similar to them. I get very much excited when I see a particular style probably because I know that it is only a matter of time before I'll be wearing them. By posting here I think I'm trying to understand myself and that "rush" feeling I'm experiencing. It just intrigues me that a pair of heels can make me feel like that. I did think of going to see a doctor about it but having spoken to my wife I came to the conclusion that "its not harming anyone" and "its not eating away at our funds" so it isn't really a problem.
CassieJ Posted October 25, 2008 Posted October 25, 2008 I think many of us share your feelings. I think a great many women share this feeling too and obsess about heels. The only difference being, a woman obsessed with shoes is very accepted in society. Cassie - http://www.fetishforhighheels.com
fastfreddy2 Posted October 25, 2008 Posted October 25, 2008 I did think of going to see a doctor about it but having spoken to my wife I came to the conclusion that "its not harming anyone" and "its not eating away at our funds" so it isn't really a problem. You are a lucky couple. I'm not at all jealous (for a change) as I have have pretty much the same kind of understanding woman here with me. I think being as self-aware as you are, is a (very) good sign. The both of you talking about it, and coming up with a conclusion that suits you both is very attractive too. But the fact you thought to take advice suggests you maybe don't feel you always have the 'control' you feel you should? For example, ever seen some shoes/boots you really liked, and walked away from them? No, me neither. Keep vigilant, but try to be careful the fear of losing control doesn't do harm in itself. [Don't stress youself up bud.] There are many here who are able to support us, with experience and good wishes. But we each are our own masters, judge and jury. We each have to live with our demons, and usually only we each truly know if they have the upper hand. ...
roniheels Posted October 25, 2008 Posted October 25, 2008 I think many of us share your feelings. I think a great many women share this feeling too and obsess about heels. The only difference being, a woman obsessed with shoes is very accepted in society. When I see a pair of sexy high heels, I picture in my mind what I would look like wearing those high heels and what outfits I would wear with them. If a woman were staring at a pair of high heels in a store window and sighing, people would smile and maybe hopes she buys them and puts them on for everyone to see. If a man were staring at those same high heels and sighing, I guarantee there would be raised eyebrows. But both the man and the woman feel the same way about those shoes.
yozz Posted October 25, 2008 Posted October 25, 2008 What's going on, can anyone explain? Does anybody else feel like this? Maybe it is the same mechanism as when a little child sees a toy and suddenly it needs to have that toy and will dream of nothing else and for weeks will be asking for that toy and promises that it will never need another toy and will never ask for more and then when it gets the toy it will play with it for a few days and then of course start looking for the next one. I have been thinking about your question for years now, and the best I can come up with is that there are events in our youth, we may not be consciously aware of them, in which our mind makes a connection between something and a feeling of well being, shelter, happiness, fulfilment, etc. After that, maybe at a later age, whenever we see or experience this something, the mind thinks of the corresponding emotion. Maybe the high heel shoes are connected with the feeling of happiness or protection or whatever that your mother or sister gave you and somehow you try to recreate this feeling by being as close to such high heel shoes as possible. I believe that everybody must have some of those 'programmings'. Of course, some psychological features have genetic effects, but I don't see how genes should know about high heel shoes, unless it is a manifestation of something more generic. The thing I really worry about is if 'science' figures out how such a mechanism works. Can you imagine what the advertizing industry would do with that knowledge? Or big brother? My personal reaction to the above is that I just try to enjoy it. Cannot get rid of it anyway. Y. Raise your voice. Put on some heels.
PatentHeel Posted October 25, 2008 Author Posted October 25, 2008 The culprits that had my heart racing yesterday: http://www.hhplace.org/discuss/your_favourite_shoe_pictures/10768-patentheel_s_pics-16.html#post183830 nothing special you may say.
Histiletto Posted October 26, 2008 Posted October 26, 2008 When I see a pair of sexy high heels, I picture in my mind what I would look like wearing those high heels and what outfits I would wear with them. If a woman were staring at a pair of high heels in a store window and sighing, people would smile and maybe hopes she buys them and puts them on for everyone to see. If a man were staring at those same high heels and sighing, I guarantee there would be raised eyebrows. But both the man and the woman feel the same way about those shoes. There is no doubt in my mind that women and men share in the same feelings to wear their choice of high heels. The only difference is the social attitude. As male heeling becomes a common public occurence, the eyebrows may still rise, but hopefully the understanding of what makes people tick will have risen to a level above immaturity, mis-information, and overstepping one's agency of personal choice.
Dawn HH Posted October 26, 2008 Posted October 26, 2008 What Voss says about child-hood feelings being embedded into our systems is so very true in my case when it comes to possessing Lionel trains and equipment and even to this day those feelings come back time and again when the desire arises for a new piece of Lionel. Getting a new Lionel piece for a birthday or Christmas was the greatest joy in my life as I knew that my parents, not being rich, were sacrificing so that my child-hood would be forever richer for it, and showing their eternal love for me by doing it. And to this day I still indulge in collecting Lionel trains and high heels. For the rest of you, no doubt, you can relate some other item besides high heels that forged your youth to the desires that you have to this day. I have even gone as far as taking a part time job at the Science Center to justify and satisfy that desire. Maybe some of you have taken a job in a shoe store for the very same reason. So does that same feeling come back from child-hood concerning high heels and their wearing. These child-hood things cannot and will not be denied. They are there and very much a part of our very being and can't be denied no matter what we try. The best thing to do is to go with natures flow and enjoy being what we are and live to the fullest each day of our lives to the best we can. Cheers--- Dawn HH High Heeled Boots Forever!
johnieheel Posted October 26, 2008 Posted October 26, 2008 [quote=PatentHeel;183646 What's going on, can anyone explain? Does anybody else feel like this? real men wear heels
wongetje Posted October 26, 2008 Posted October 26, 2008 feel the same way. a nice pair of heels does make your heart beat faster.
Amanda Posted October 26, 2008 Posted October 26, 2008 What's going on, can anyone explain? Does anybody else feel like this? I do. I think it's because they are magic..
dww Posted October 26, 2008 Posted October 26, 2008 Cannot explain why, I have thought over the years why I feel this way, no real reason. Only thing I can recall is first day at infant school, little girl wearing a nice pair of red sandals, thought I would love to wear a pair of shoes just like them. I think this is what got me started. One thing I know for sure I cannot give them up. Some say men think about sex every few minutes or so, I don't I think about shoes, have done so all my life, and I consider myself a normal straight guy, I love the ladies shoes and all. life is not a rehearsal
HappyFeat Posted October 26, 2008 Posted October 26, 2008 I do. I think it's because they are magic.. I am in total agreement with Ms. Snake! Best explanation that I could imagine. Style is built from the ground up!
johnieheel Posted October 26, 2008 Posted October 26, 2008 I am in total agreement with Ms. Snake! Best explanation that I could imagine. I agree! real men wear heels
roniheels Posted October 26, 2008 Posted October 26, 2008 I do. I think it's because they are magic.. Amanda made a wonderful comparison to hgih heels being magic in one of her previous posts. If some of the newer member get a chance to read it, it would be worthwhile.
Histiletto Posted October 26, 2008 Posted October 26, 2008 The magic (power) is from you, not from the shoes, the rocks (diamonds, turquoise, opals, and etc.), handbags, suits, dresses, pictures, cars, door knobs, firearms, houses, and etc. On its own, things have no impassioned properties, humans have these senses. Other people may have a whole different feeling looking at an object, such as the same pair of heels. I see some footwear and I just want to heave, because they are so distasteful and ugly. However, others will buy several pairs and rave over the find they have procured. Don't blame something that has no human qualities about the feelings you have for it. (Hope no one has a pet rock, if so, i'm sorry if I broke your bubble. You can still love it. It hasn't changed.) In cartoons and video games, animators give virtual objects human qualities, but the consistancy of reality demands the properties of things adhere to natural laws. A thing can't show or express feelings, no matter how many movies or books are made contradicting this. Now Wand, where's Broom to clean-up this matter.
PatentHeel Posted October 26, 2008 Author Posted October 26, 2008 When creating this thread, by stating "in-animate objects", I understood very much that heels are nothing more than lifeless objects. Yet it is incredible how you can be driven to wanting them so much. In my trying to understand it all, I was thinking that its like being addicted to drugs. You experience pleasure and then you want more. But.... With drugs though, once you've had your fix/hit (or whatever its called) you need to buy more to get that pleasure again. With heels, you get pleasure from buying them and wearing them, but they are with you until you get rid of them and you can carry on getting pleasure from them until it wears off. Therefore, why buy more? In trying to understand my self, I concluded that I buy more mainly because it'll be a style of patent heel/boot which is is slightly different than the others I have and offers a different sexiness factor. By having them and wearing them and re-creating an experience, its providing pleasure and each pair of heels or boots offers a similar level of pleasure but in a slightly different way. I hope that all makes sense. Would like to hear your thoughts and comments on this.
Histiletto Posted October 26, 2008 Posted October 26, 2008 We have often heard about the buying binges of women who may have more than they need all ready. Their shoe storage area is maxed out, but they have to have the pair(s) they just saw on display. This seems to some what fit the description of our heeling habits, also. We aren't content to have just one pair, because two of them would mean if one got ruined, we could have a duplicate back-up. Then there are those special heels that we can't have enough of, because they look so good and fit so well. So we buy them in other colors and more of them to never be without. Then there are those we just saw being worn. They look so awesome and now our life is in need of a pair just like them in our size, or we will die. We track down the wearer and quiz them for all the info we can get, if possible. Then we instantly launch an all out hunt to find them. What! They don't have this heel in my size, but you have it in the one size smaller! Let's try it! Can I order some in my size, anyway? No, but we have a similar heel in the back. Then it's brought out after an eternity (3 minutes) of waiting. Yes, it has a heel and the color and material are like what i wanted, but what happened to the style. This doesn't have the same features like the one I saw originally. Oh drats! Are you sure you don't have the ones I was asking about in my size? Are there any other stores that carry this shoe? Thanks for your help. And we're off to the next location. This same scenario happened at two other stores, but the fourth location had them. A relieving calm and peace seem to make the day's efforts up until now, inconsequencial as you paid for them and picked up the bag containing the vision you saw bein worn earlier that day. You've found the desire of your soul that needed to be filled. You are feeling on top of the world, aa you arrive home and you wanted to wear them for the rest of the evening. Then reality sets in that you had other things that need attention and you didn't want your new heels to be subjected to possible damage, at least not on the first time you wear them. So, you put them away in a "special" place. Patentheel, is this the kind of eccentricities you are talking about? This is probably more of a normal situation in life then we want to imagine. Heels aren't the only things people have a personal need to have, as soon as possible. How about that special brew or fragrance. The hottest movie is in the theater or on DVD. The first day after the Thanksgiving holiday, in the U. S., is known for its early morning shoppers lining up hours before the stores open, to get that one and only special toy or gift for Christmas presentation. Other big sales have been known for similar activities. Are heelers eccentric? No worse than other people. It is in the lifestyle of who we are and probably won't ever change, even when male heeling becomes acceptible and commonplace in most societies.
t-strap lover Posted October 27, 2008 Posted October 27, 2008 Forgive me if this is long but I'm trying really hard to make sense of it all. If you have read my introduction you will know that my obsession with heels and in particular black patent leather goes right back to my teen days. Before stumbling upon HHPlace, I used to think that there was something seriously wrong with me, thinking it was odd for a male to have so many pairs of patent heels stashed away. Finding the forum, I soon realised that I wasn't the only male who was into heels and it made me feel better about myself. HHPlace even helped me to be open about my obsession for heels with my wife, something which I will always thank HHPlace for. Anyway, today I was out for lunch and as I passed a shop, out of the corner of my eye I noticed some black patent strappy heels. It was only a quick glance and unfortunately at the time I was unable to go back and check it out further. In the back of my mind I just knew they were the kind I liked but I couldn't be sure for definite without a proper look. All afternoon I had butterflies in my stomach, I couldn't help thinking about them and the hours couldn't pass quick enough before finishing work. As soon as it was time to go home, it was straight back to the shop to examine them further. I can tell you it wasn't a wasted trip and with my heart racing and incredible rush coming over my body, I made my purchase and left the shop. Given the racing heart and the "rush" feeling experienced, I struggle to find the words to explain how in-animate objects such as a pair of heels can be so powerful as to make one feel like that. I get the same feeling whenever I look around shoe shops and see the heels on display, especially with all the fancy lighting which makes them shine. I have to fight to keep my hands out of my wallet I can tell you!!! It's my guessing that its a combination of the patent leather material itself plus the style of heel which is the contributing factor in the feelings I'm experiencing. What's going on, can anyone explain? Does anybody else feel like this? It happens to me every time I see a pair of heels I want. Its been this way for over 40 years. I love the feeling and hope it never goes away. Great story from you, t-straps are my favorite style.
PatentHeel Posted October 27, 2008 Author Posted October 27, 2008 Patentheel, is this the kind of eccentricities you are talking about? This is probably more of a normal situation in life then we want to imagine. Heels aren't the only things people have a personal need to have, as soon as possible. How about that special brew or fragrance. The hottest movie is in the theater or on DVD. The first day after the Thanksgiving holiday, in the U. S., is known for its early morning shoppers lining up hours before the stores open, to get that one and only special toy or gift for Christmas presentation. Other big sales have been known for similar activities. Are heelers eccentric? No worse than other people. It is in the lifestyle of who we are and probably won't ever change, even when male heeling becomes acceptible and commonplace in most societies. Yes, almost spot on Histiletto. I have many a time bought the next size down just so I can have that "badly wanted" pair of heels.
PatentHeel Posted October 27, 2008 Author Posted October 27, 2008 Yes, almost spot on Histiletto. I have many a time bought the next size down just so I can have that "badly wanted" pair of heels. Speaking of "badly wanted", now I have seen these I would so very much like them in my collection! Doubt very much I could afford these though as they're: DONALD J PLINER Couture*IDOL* Gladiator Heels One day I might win the lottery and i'll treat myself to them!
aussieheels1 Posted October 27, 2008 Posted October 27, 2008 thank god i'm not female, otherwise I'll go broke buying every single pair of heels in the world!!
PatentHeel Posted October 28, 2008 Author Posted October 28, 2008 UPDATE Today during my lunch hour I visited four shoe shops and even though most heels were the same across the four shops, the excitement factor remained intense in each shop. I'm getting picky in my selection of heel/boot now and although the sight of all that black patent leather and those long thin stiletto heels had my heart racing I finished my rounds without putting my hand in my wallet.
redcourts Posted October 28, 2008 Posted October 28, 2008 I can fully understand where you come from. I had to take a peek in a shop earleier today and was so very tempted to purchase a pair of those strappy heel you wear in your avatar. I just couldnt stop thinking about them and may have to go shopping in a little while to feed my desire!!! I have seen a pair in next that i just cant stop thinking about
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