mlroseplant

I have said it before, and I will say it again: Wearing heels is NOT like riding a bicycle. It is like dancing ballet or playing a musical instrument. Daily practice is required for maximum effect. I have not worn real heels for nearly a month. Yesterday, I chose some pretty tall ones to go out to lunch, go shopping at the mall and at Costco. There was a fair amount of walking and standing involved. One month ago, I wouldn't have thought twice about it. Yesterday, after being out of practice for a month, my feet were very tired by the time I got home. I should have chosen a less vertiginous pair. Give me a week or two, and I'll be back in the saddle!

13 hours ago, mwhh said:

Why would you call her Ugly?  Is that your pet name or a a term of endearment?

I guess over the years it has become a term of endearment. It started out as a kind of mild personal insult, to let her know I was not "interested" in the way that many guys are on the cruel, cruel internet. Ngoc earns a fair amount of money as a part-time promotions girl/spokesmodel.

As I have posted elsewhere, I have just returned to the USA from Vietnam. Although I don't have a lot to report, I did notice some definite high heel trends (among women, of course).

Heels are definitely getting lower compared to years past. I think this is a worldwide trend, but since heels are more common in Vietnam than they are in the U.S., it is definitely more noticeable. A couple of years ago, you saw 5 inch heels EVERYWHERE (with platform, of course). Now, the most common height is 2-3 inches for every day wear, and maybe 4 inches for going out, and platforms are much thinner, or gone altogether. Unfortunately, the latest style of heel seems to be the type which comes straight down from the back of the shoe, rather than curving slightly more toward being underneath the center of the wearer's ankle. See the attached photograph, courtesy of my friend Ugly Ngoc. She's not SO ugly, is she?

In any case, a significant percentage of Vietnamese women still wear heels most days, and this percentage has not dropped noticeably in the last 10 years.

Hello all, I have returned to the good ol' USA after spending three weeks in Vietnam visiting my wife's family. As I reported before I left, I bought some Nike Sky High hidden wedge sneakers to wear over there, since Vietnam is not yet ready for a guy in full blown heels (my foreign face gets enough attention as it is), and it makes my wife uncomfortable.

After setting you all up for something very exciting and groundbreaking, I now have to let you all down, and tell you that there is really nothing to report. Nobody really said anything. At all. Not even my wife. She must realize that they are heels, but nobody said a word, negative or positive, about my really cool sneaks. It makes me think I should have bought some bolder color than nondescript gray. Oh well, I got the reaction that I sought. Be careful what you wish for, right?

I can tell you about the comfort and fit. I wore them almost every day. I did not do any super long distance walking in them, but I did wear them to an amusement park where I did a fair amount of walking, and like I sort of figured, within a few dozen steps each day after putting them on, they feel just like normal sneakers to me. I read some reviews that criticized them for being uncomfortable, but I assume those are people who never wear heels. The effective rise on these, after subtracting out the thickness of the platform, is about 2 - 2 1/4 inches, so they're pretty much like wearing flats for me.

In the past, I've dressed a little less casually than I did this year, mainly because of my shoes. Because my flat shoe collection has dwindled to a couple of pairs of sneakers and my trusty super-formal men's oxfords, I found myself wearing dressier clothes more often to go with the oxfords. This year, with the new sneakers, I found myself wearing jeans and t-shirts/sweaters a lot more. I kind of fit in, fashion-wise, with the latest style for young men in Vietnam. With my own twist, of course. The first twist being that I'm about 20 years older than the boys who wear what I'm about to describe. I have to say that I am not really impressed with the latest "hotboy" style in Vietnam. The main feature of it is super slim jeans, which in and of itself is not a bad thing, but the latest iteration of the style has a super low rise waist. Actually, that's not quite true. The rise on the jeans is pretty normal, but they are designed to be worn really low on the waist, so that the back pockets end up on the backs of the wearer's legs, rather than on his butt. Just imagine a USA "gangsta" style, only really tight. And always worn with a belt. Always. They're not really into to showing underwear and buttcrack, thank goodness. Oh, and the pre-ripped/pre-shredded ones, with or without paint splatters, are extra-cool. And extra expensive. As you can imagine, this style actually looks good on about 2% of the general population, so my way-less-radical and way-more-flattering take on this style earned me extra compliments with the girls. No one ever suspected I was wearing women's jeans.

Anyway, it's good to be back home, wearing my own shoes again. Time to go back to work on Monday and become reacquainted with reality.

I would agree with the above advice in general, but I have the following personal experience to add:

My first few pairs of heels (and by "heels" I mean clog-style shoes with 2.5 - 3" heels) came from self-service, low-end shoe stores, where I would furtively take something off the shelf that I halfway liked, jam my foot into it to see that it halfway fit, and quickly head to the checkout counter to make my escape. Unfortunately, this method worked little better than simply ordering something off the internet, which is how I've purchased 98% of my shoes since. The problem, at least for me, was this: I usually wore a 7.5 or 8 in U.S. men's shoes, and I assumed that this translated into 9.5 or 10 women's, and that's where I used to start when trying on "women's" shoes. What happened to me the first few times is that, after only a short distance of walking, the shoes would suddenly become quite large! This was because, having no previous experience in the real world, I didn't take into account the elevated heel, and the physical fact that your feet are going to slide forward somewhat. So I would resort to things like stuffing rags or newspaper in the toes to make them wearable. Not really a very happy situation for long term comfort.

Today, I have learned that at least for me, I need to start with a size 9 for closed-toed shoes, and 8.5 for sandals. Those sizes may not be quite correct for every shoe and every brand, but they're a lot closer than what I guessed would fit 4 years ago when I started wearing heels. The reason for this is mainly because I like my heels to fit a lot more snugly than men's flats. It's a fine line of course, because shoes that pinch your feet are just as miserable as shoes that are too big, but in general, I like my heels pretty tight, especially if they are a pump or loafer style, with nothing holding them on but friction. I have had a very low success rate with trying to make shoes that are too big fit with various inserts.

As I said, I order almost exclusively on the internet, usually ebay, but not because I am embarrassed to try on shoes in a shoe store. I find that buying slightly used gets me a big upstep in the quality without paying too much money. However, I also have to accept that some things I buy are just not going to work out fit-wise, and I'll have to resell them or donate them. It's just part of the game.

In conclusion, I say follow our brothers' advice, go to a Payless and try some stuff on if you have the confidence to do so, it may help you waste less money in the future. However, it is not the end-all to get a perfect fit, especially until you get some experience in heels. That first walk across a huge parking lot to get back to your car will tell you a lot more than 5 laps around the Payless store. Good luck!

Getting a little bit more back to the original topic, I never thought about it before now, but I guess I do try to look "camera ready" when wearing heels. Every once in  a while, I'll need to go to the grocery store or something, and I don't feel like getting dolled up enough to wear heels, so I won't. What a terrible feeling! But better than being caught on somebody's camera disheveled and sloppily dressed wearing heels. That would not do the cause any good!

On February 20, 2016 at 3:02 PM, MackyHeels said:

Very odd behaviour for a woman that seen me for years wearing tight gym female clothes yet i change the color of my shirt to a pinkish, raspberry tone this is a moment to recognize and photograph. What's with that? Seeing other woman pause and stare upon what i wear but other times never giving me the time of day only a slight glance recognition.  Only because i wear a pinkish colored top. 

My theory why known women react in such surprising manner to me, only because i change into a feminine colour of pink, they believe having exclusive domain to wear themselves. These reactions i'm getting recently is surprising but similar if i wore stiletto heel not to workout of course but on the street. Goes to show me the prejudice a male faces from most females only because the colour he chooses to wear. Funny thing is i wear exactly the same type of gym clothes only in black, grey, blue no reaction but choose pink there is a consequence that entails. Totally ridiculous...

 

 

I find your experience very odd indeed, as pink has become quite acceptable for men to wear in the last few years, even on the construction site! Just a few short years ago, I was the only male out there wearing a pink shirt on the job (not every day, obviously). Today, there are many brothers who wear pink to work. Of course, we can thank the Breast Cancer Awareness campaign for that. 

First of all, let me say congratulations. I hope your wife continues to be supportive.

Second, I noticed that your sandals are remarkably similar to a pair that I've had for a long time. I don't wear them so much any more, but I still keep them around for the purpose of wearing if I'm about to meet a bunch of people who have never seen me in heels before, as they are not too radical. 

Lunar New Year is fast approaching, and tomorrow we'll be off to visit my wife's family in Vietnam. In the past when we have visited, I've had to leave my heels at home, which I've been happy to do--where I stay, I draw enough attention as it is. Still, I do miss them while I'm gone  

This year, I've found a compromise. I bought some Nike Sky High hidden wedge sneakers, and my wife said those are acceptable, and even look nice! The fact is, Vietnamese men have been doing this sort of thing for years, at least with dress shoes, in order to appear taller. 

I don't care about taller, I just like the feel of wearing high heels. There isn't much of a thrill here, as the heel is only about 2 1/2 inches. In fact, about a minute after I put them on I forget that I'm not wearing just normal sneakers, but it's better than wearing flatties. I'm happy, she's happy, let's roll with it!

Hi Drew. I also live in a small town of about 15,000. It has taken me several years, but most of the time I am comfortable wearing what I want to wear, and people accept me for who I am. Your boots look great. I know it's difficult to resist going up in heel height right away, but I'd agree with the others--give the boots you have some walking time first. When I first started wearing heels, I wore the height in your picture or lower for a few years before I had the confidence to try some really high shoes.

Teenaged girls in groups may giggle, teenaged boys in groups may heckle. Teenaged girls individually will tell you you're really cool, and might even ask for advice.

Old ladies may eye you with suspicion at first, but then later tell you that they used to rock high heels in their younger days. They secretly admire you. Old men? They just think you're odd, and either accept you, or they don't. This has been my experience.

I have my shy moments, don't get me wrong, but usually I can wear my heels every day with pride, and I have guys like Steve and SF to thank for that. Good luck!

3 hours ago, Steve63130 said:

It gets easier every time. The demons are in our heads. Most people don't notice and those who do, don't care. Teenage girls in a group will giggle. That's mostly it.

Steve

I have perhaps become jaded by my life experience. I had my first pedicure in Southern Califormia back in 1994 at a Vietnamese nail salon, and I just loved it. 

Fast forward 17 years, and I found myself married to a Vietnamese woman, hanging out in a nail salon with my wife's friends. I got free pedicures all the time. I became fast friends with one of the women working there, and my feet were fairly constantly pampered. There was some quid pro quo, as I did work for her in my area of expertise, but then came the sad day when she decided to quit the nail business. Sad for me, good for her. I'm not sure it's the healthiest profession. 

After that, I would occasionally bug the women who were still working there for pedicures, and they would give them to me (they have consistently refused to take my money), but it just wasn't the same as it was with my friend. So eventually I stopped going there. To me, my feet are kind of personal, and I'm not going to let just anybody touch them. I learned well from observing the nail shop girls, and so today, I do my own. I usually do my 6 year old son at the same time. 

See the two attached photos: Me and my son on pedicure night, and me and my friend, the former nail technician, who is a high heel girl, and accepts me for who I am at face value. 

On December 29, 2015 at 9:34 AM, JeffB said:

Interesting! Please be sure to let us know how those sweaters work out for you.

Alas, fellas! I received my sweaters yesterday, and they are too small! I plan to return/exchange, and we'll try again in another week. 

TBG--I'm not sure I could pull off the fur, but it's a look I would be willing to experiment with. 

On occasion, I am asked whether I wear heels to make me taller. It's a fair question, as I am a shortish man (5'5 1/2" or 167cm in bare feet) in a society which values height in so many subtle ways. Most are surprised when I tell them that no, there are many reasons why I like to wear heels, but the fact that they happen to make me appear taller is not one of them. 

In fact, even after 3 years of wearing heels on a regular basis, I still find it a little disconcerting how it changes the angle at which I look upon other people. For example, in the attached photo, it feels somewhat unnatural to me that I should stand nearly a head taller than my wife, who is actually only 2 1/2" shorter than me. Happy Holidays, by the way--we happen to celebrate Christmas. 

Having looked at the world one way for 45 years, it is still surprising to me just how much difference a few inches makes. I tend to notice it much more with people I've known a long time who are close to my height or shorter. Very tall people are, of course, still very tall, so I don't notice it as much. People who are very short, like the old ladies at church, suddenly seem very far away from my face when I talk to them, and it is a bit of an uncomfortable feeling. I don't know how you tall people manage, haha. 

I have a friend who is a tallish woman. I guess her to be about 5'9", maybe 5'10". After literally (and figuratively) looking up to her for so many years, it seems very strange to look at her straight on, as my heel heights have risen to the 5" range. Actually, that would be a good topic for discussion the next time I visit with her. 

Has anyone else felt this same awkwardness about viewing the world from a different angle?

I am looking forward to my first long sweaters. I have these coming in the mail on Wednesday. I can't wait to try them out. I hope they look 1/10th as good on me as they do on the model, who is a total CUTIE. Can anyone say "impulse shopping?"

I think about posting on my thread often, because I think about high heels a lot. Sometimes, I wonder why I think about high heels so much. It seems unnatural to be attached to mere objects the way I am, but that's just the way it is. So I think about posting a lot. Actually getting around to posting is another matter, because what seems like a clever and insightful thought in the morning seems quite silly and insignificant by the end of the day when I actually have time to put it down on electronic paper. And then there is the matter of making a smooth introduction to my subject, after explaining why I haven't posted for so long. Today, however, I have some news of a physical accomplishment, the importance of which hasn't diminished with the passing of time.

Before I get to the accomplishment, I should explain, if I haven't before, that it is my goal to walk 1,000 miles in high heels. I've made it about 800 miles so far. Granted, it's taken me 2 1/2 years to get this far, but I don't have unlimited time, and my motivation/energy level is not always as much as I would like. In fact, this year I have made a pathetic effort. I have several months in 2015 where my miles logged are either zero, or in the single digits. However, December 2015 has been a good month, with 32.5 miles logged so far and five days yet unlived! It's been a combination of unusually warm weather, days off from work, and momentary freedom from social obligations which has allowed me to to this.

Now, for the accomplishment: Last nigh, I walked 5.3 miles (or 8.5 km) in "serious" heels, which are pictured below. I've done this once before in high heels, but it was in a pair of shoes with much lower and broader heels. I seem to have few effects from this walk, which was spur-of-the-moment, other than a tender (but not painful) left little toe. I'll still be wearing heels to church this morning. It took me about an hour and 40 minutes, at a pace of 18:47 per mile. Not a bad pace for such high heels. When I finished my walk, I didn't feel like I had to immediately get out of my boots, I was actually feeling pretty good.

The boots are Simply Vera Wang Velma. They have slightly higher than 5 inch heels, and slightly thicker than 1 inch platforms, so it is the equivalent steepness of 4 inch heels. These are cheap boots. They are not leather, and you can (or could, in the past) buy them retail at Kohl's for way less than 100 bucks, and that's if they weren't on sale. My very first pair of high heeled boots was identical to this in every way except for the buckles, and I threw them away after one season because they just wore out. I thought to myself that I would find a very similar pair that was real leather and higher quality. I still haven't found that perfect pair yet. I found another pair of these Simply Veras on ebay, however. In fact, I found 2 pair. I bought them both, and have taken steps to increase their durability. They truly are the perfect boots for me, I just wish they were leather. I have several other pairs of leather boots, but these are my day in, day out winter footwear. I know I can put them on quickly, not fuss with them, they go with everything, the heel is nice and high like I like it, but yet I know I can wear them all day if necessary. Although I love stilettos, I find that the slightly thicker heels of these boots are so much more practical in many ways.

Hopefully, I have more adventures to report before the end of the year.

1 hour ago, Thighbootguy said:

The story was from Oregon and even though it was 2008 the response of the town didn't surprise me too much. But your getting a similar response in Iowa floors me.  I guess I have been listening to too much election coverage and have gotten an image of an extremely conservative, non tolerant population.  I'm glad I'm wrong.  Thanks for sharing your experience.

Nah, we're still a swing state. I always like to say that even if people find me odd or distasteful, Iowans are too polite to say anything. Unless it's a carful of teenaged boys, haha. That's the only trouble I've ever had. Fact is, the people I've known and grown up with respect me, and I respect them, even if I disagree with them. 

I have to be careful not to get into a big political discussion, which would cause this thread to be shut down. 

On 12/14/2015 at 7:33 AM, Thighbootguy said:

The shoes look great and you must like them too if you have had to reheel them.  My advice is to banish that image of Kim Jung-il from your mind and replace it with something like this :

Always enjoy your heels.

 

Oh, that's another problem for me. I do see that image in my mind when I pick out my clothes and shoes. Unfortunately, reality doesn't bear this out at all. Seriously, I seem to have gotten over the Kim Jung-il thing, and I've tailored a pair of pants (with the help of my tailor friend, also a big high heel fan) which hang nicely over the shoes in question, and I've worn them quite a bit more often lately.

On December 12, 2015 at 3:22 PM, Thighbootguy said:

Radiolab on NPR reran a story about Stu Rasmussen who, in 2008 very slowly, became a transgender person in a small town in Oregon and wound up being elected mayor for three terms.  I know that hhplace is not a transgender site but many of the things that happened to Stu are applicable to guys wearing heels in public (which Stu did).  The towns support for Stu was surprising and heart warming.  This is a link to the 20 minute original story and  5 more minutes that brings the story up to date.

Radiolab New Stu

By the way, if you are new to Radiolab, the audio quality is top notch and is best appreciated when heard with headphones.

I finally got a chance to listen to this story, and as I was listening, it struck me that the people in this town are very much like the people in my small town. I heard many people in the interviews say something to the effect of, "Oh...well that's just Stu." I get that all the time. "Oh...well that's just 'Melrose.' "

Of course, my case isn't nearly as extreme, as I am not anywhere close to transgender, but the sentiment is the same. I grew up with these people. They know me for more than just my heels. Also, like the girlfriend/partner, my wife seems to hear more whispers and see more looks than I do. 

Thank you for sharing this, TBG. It made me feel more positive about myself. 

I haven't had any trouble uploading photos from my iPhone, but I have had the same experience as you of getting kicked off the site for no apparent reason (necessitating re-sign in). It doesn't happen nearly as often as you describe, however. Sorry I can't be more helpful. 

I have been inspired by a thread elsewhere in this forum to make a report. I went to the dentist yesterday, as I do every six months, for a regular cleaning. I have gone to this dentist for.  .  . oh, I bet it's been the better part of 20 years. I had seen the same dental hygienist for about 17 of those 20 years, but had recently switched to a different one. Yesterday, for some reason, I had the former hygienist, and it was a kind of glorious reunion. But that's not really relevant to this forum.

Soon into the examination/cleaning, heck even before the x-rays were finished, she commented, "Wow, how can you even walk in those heels? I couldn't do it!" Then, quite naturally, we began to have a conversation about how it is that I, an otherwise pretty normal, straight male, came to wear high heels every day. She seemed quite accepting of it by her replies, facial expressions, and body language. She admitted that she never wore heels because she thinks she is too tall. I think that maybe I convinced her to change that attitude. I think we all love to see a tall woman in heels.

Like I've said before, I think we can change the world, one person at a time. Keep the faith, my brothers!

I also identify with this "lull." I have been out and about in heels every day, and even today I had a very interesting conversation with my dental hygienist about my heels, but it almost seems too boring to report. Perhaps I should report more, if only for the sake of the community and the future make heelers of the world. 

On November 30, 2015 at 12:04:16, jerbare said:

I really like those heels but in the Dakotas we are getting more snow it would be hard to push the snowblower in 6" heels 

Haha, that's why I have some 5" boots for that purpose. 

Yeah, I like sweaters. I have one particular favorite that my wife knitted for me before we were married. I am thinking about trying some longer sweaters, and wearing them with leggings this winter.