shyguy

traffic

shirt

skateboard

Terminator (and 2 and 3)

while searching for more shoe sites, I came across a foot fetish site, and the fools were taken in by someone wearing empress shoes and passing it off as being barefoot . I saw straight through it of course.

roadrunner

tommy cooper

As we have so many engineers here..... An engineer's view of Santa.... There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the Population Reference Bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming that there at least one good child in each. Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second -- 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour. The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized Lego set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying" reindeer could pull ten times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them-Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch). 600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance-this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft reentering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip. Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to acceleration forces of 17,500 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo. Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now. Merry Christmas.

mini me

As a non believer WarrenB is now obliged to only wear flat shoes, and inhabit an area where only flat shoes are sold regardless of gender.

Hey congratulations Scotty and wife, hope above all else that the pregnancy and birth goes well. Good luck. BTW we already have 3 girls here, I'm a minority group in my own house now

grow

secrecy

were they? what else would go with those shoes??

Excellent story, and in true Dallas style "it was all a dream" nice one onyourtoes. More please.

Its a bit early to say yet, I know but it is beginning to look as though there are no ordinary people here, only extraordinary people.

:bday: Daz, 22, I was 22 once (shyguy stares into distance....)

What a great Xmas you will have, anyone else getting shoes for xmas?

Hmmm maybe doctor shoe can tell us how these shoes are made or how we can modify our own to a similar design?

fired

total

I personally find Little Britain very funny, now into its second series I never miss it. The crossdresser in the show is "Emily, the not very good transvestite" who is so over the top trying to be "a Lady" that it has the opposite effect . The characters are caricatures of the people of Britain completely o.t.t. to make it funny. Just my opinion yada yada yada

county

I agree with what is being said here too, pron is just boring, who needs it?? Profanity is something I also use everyday in the working environment, and unfortunately bring home with me. It's not every other word, but still too much, and I'm trying to curb it. However when writing we all have enough time to avoid using swear words at all. There are always other words to use in place of profanity, but in conversation,on the spur of the moment swearwords just jump to the fore. I concur with FF too, especially having daughters who speak like that "well like it was like so like well you know" and that bugs me. BTW I knew I swore too often when my 20 month old recently repeated my "F**k it" back to me when I was having trouble on a diy job. Time to try harder.

Evans doesn't have a large range of boots and shoes though, at least around here they don't. I often look though, as my wife spends lots of money and time in Evans. Heres a tip for anyone using Evans for shoes regularly, if you get an account there, after a while they give you a gold card which gives 10% off all footwear. Just got mine this morning, but won't be able to use the discount for myself as my wife is against me buying shoes for myself. Any pics of your purchases Chris??