dr1819

You're not alone, ILP, as most of the male members here have had the same experience. In fact, the best estimates include about 500,000 American males experience the same thing on a regular/routine basis, so you're definately NOT alone. We have members here from the UK, Germany, China, Brazil, Nepal... The list goes on, and it's by no means an isolated thing. You're among friends, here! Welcome aboard!

Glad you're here - welcome aboard!

Welcome aboard! I think almost everyone here enjoys seeing women in heels.

Hi, Kirsten! Welcome. If your activity is required for sexual gratification (ie, you can't orgasm without crossdressing), then it's a fetish. Otherwise, it's not a fetish, it's merely crossdressing or transvestism. The variances between these two definitions depend upon which website you access, and some sources claim that if you're not trying to appear as a member of the opposite sex, wearing an article of clothing or two doesn't fall under either category, but is rather just a diversity of normal fashion choice.

I'm sorry to hear of his condition, but am glad the doctors are on top of things! I hope you get better, DawnHH, and await your return. I'm praying for your recovery.

Welcome, traceyb! Hope you find yourself at home, here.

Hi, Aglo - Welcome aboard! Wow - what are you doing in Nepal? That's a bit away from home! I'm in a similar situation (though not quite as exotic) as I'm from the states but will be here in Germany for another six months. Whether or not to tell family... This board has seen it's share of stories, that's for sure. My advice is that if you love and want to keep your family, place it above your heeling. If you can do without heels, then do so and don't look back. If you can't, then do tell your family, as they'll eventually find out anyway, and that road leads to a lot of mistrust, while being open and upfront tends to lead towards understanding. It appears to have been more helpful than not when the wives are pointed towards this board, particularly to comments such as these and the threads such as the rockers/musicians/models on runways started by kneehighs, as they clearly show that it's not some underground sexual perversion, but a genuine fashion trend. The fact that some heterosexual fashion designers are wearing heels helps, too. In fact, the more we wear heels in public, in tasteful, fashionable style (particularly if they keep it more masculine), the more other men will wear heels in public, as well. As for lurking, I wouldn't be surprised if Nicholas Cage is a lurker, here, as he's been spotted in heels. Nicholas, if you're out there, send me a PM, as I absolutely love your movies! Don't worry, I won't "out" you. My favorites were Face/Off and Gone in Sixty Seconds. Terrific acting! The Rock and Con Air were pretty stellar, too! Back to heeling... For men, it's merely a fashion choice. Many famous men over the last forty years have worn heels, including the Beatles, Lenny Kravitz, Prince, Motley Crue, Jean-Paul Galtier (fashion designer), and... Help me out, here, kneehighs - you keep a much sharper mental list than I do! In closing, I'd like to say that while it's not common, it's still done, probably by far more men than most people realize. Estimates based upon members of this board, discussions with shoe store managers, including Zappos, Nordstroms, and Payless, indicate there are between 100,000 and 3,000,000 men who currently wear heels on a regular basis. If I had to guess based upon my own experiences and knowledge of statistics, I'd say it's around 500,000, and that between 100,000 and 200,000 do so openly, in public. Not including heel meets (which I've only seen in photos), I've seen more than thirty men in heels in public over the years, and these were not transvestites or drag queens, but merely men who preferred wearing heels. These were also chance meetings, such as the gentleman in an airport who helped with flight planning, or the guy next to whom I played the slots in Vegas, or as passerby on the streets here in Germany. Mind you, these figures are in the US alone. That's rather significant! My latest public outing involving a conversation was in an airport in Denver with a Mary Kay representative who was on her fourth pink Cadillac. I'm not into Mary Kay or pink Cadillacs, but once the conversation moved beyond that, she finally asked me why I was wearing heels. My response was along the lines of, "because I like to." She said, "I'm ok with that," and the next two hours we talked about everything else in life from marriage and kids to careers, to football (a game was on at the time) to the Tour de France allegations against Lance Armstrong. The question about heels came at the 10 minute mark, when she realized I wouldn't become some kind of crazed maniac if she popped the question, and the rest of the time was spent on other subjects. She was my age, and like me, single. She didn't care about my fashion choices. In fact, as one girl put it who is 24, "I love it when a man is secure enough in their masculinity that they can wear heels." I agree. It's not for everyone, and should never become the basis upon which a family dissolves - there's far more to life than the height of a shoe's heel. Families and the relationships which keep them together are much more important. But whether or not a guy wants to wear heels these days is pretty immaterial, as most people really don't care, most girls at the club scenes think it's cool, most employers are bound by laws which require them to allow it provided it's done in good taste (a pair of pink pumps would be frowned on while a pair of block-heeled black boots beneath longer slacks would win the lawsuit hands down, and most employers know this, tolerate it, and work within the law to avoid any such issues, as the negative publicity would cost more than any lawsuit). On a cheerier note, it's simply what some guys have been doing over the years. Nothing more, nothing less. Some guys like wearing heels, too, not because they're feminine, but just because they're heels. Other guys do so for other reasons, but that's not the basis of my commentary today. For the average heterosexual male, wearing heels is nothing more than a choice in fashion. Rare, yes, but does it imply anything else, the answer is no. PS: I've had two girlfriends in the last six months. Both were way cool with my heeling. We broke up for other reasons, but I still talk with both of them several times a week as I've remained very good friends with both of them. Furthermore, both know about the other! Nor was that the reason for any of the breakups. I just think it's cool when I get called by one when I'm on the line with the other, and both ask me to call them back while neither one is jealous. I'd rather have congenial friends that jealous lovers!

I like the fact that they don't have a pointed toe! Still, the toe looks longer that it needs to be. How much extra room in there? I'm not too into unnecessarily extended toes, either, as it just makes one's foot look too big. Nice heel, though!

I normally don't like Payless' offerings (the right size, but usually chincy). However, a recent pair of cowboy-style boots caught my eye, and I've been wearing these around lately. 3-1/2 inch heel, but beneath a pair of low jeans, looks like a guy's boot. Ta-da!

I was never cought in heels, but I've had a couple pairs found by my mom. I was eventually brought in to a couple psycologists/psyciatrists to see what was going on, I was guilted into taking medication that removed my odd sexual interests, as well as any sexual interests. I knew that being 17/18 years old with zero sex drive was not normal either.

I still don't wear heels around the family, but thats just me.

Good for you! Sounds a family that's definately concerned for your welfare, but perhaps a bit out of touch with the reality underlying the development of the human brain and modern sexuality in the face of the significant influences of both modern media and xeno-hormones.

If you're any questions beyond this forum, please PM me and I'll be happy to converse with you on this subject.

6'5" - I'm an engineer so I did some measurements and mathmatictics on heel height vs. real height...

Gah! You're starting to sound like me! Only taller.

I can't help those from Latvia, but Zappos offers more than 800 styles of 2.5 inch and above heels that fit up to a size 13, US Women's.

Check it out.

BINGO! I'm thrilled to see the last five posts actually agreeing that it doesn't take a 5-inch fetish heel to obtain the high-heeled feeling or look. Whatever feels high to the individual without causing pain or discomfort is high enough. It's good for you and good for your feet. Happy heeling! :academic:

Sounds fine, Admin. This is a better place for it. Fog, I do hope you stick around, knowing that the only reason I began this was because something happened to me. Thinking back, had I known Aikido then, I would have been better prepared, although I may still have been able to prevent it. The reason I chose Aikido is because I'm a peacemaker, not a fighter. Unlike the other martial arts where the aim is generally to disable your attacker, generally through intense pain or physical damage, the principle of Aikido is to "protect your attacker." You disable him through a superior knowledge, understanding, and practice of leverage and use non-physically-damaging holds which are quite painful (although only so long as the hold is applied - once you release, there's no more pain). Whether we like it or not, hate crimes and other crimes do happen, and usually to those who're different. Most often it's racially motivated, but gays have for years been the target of hate crimes, and as more men begin wearing heels, we may be targets, too. I intended my original post as an essay of my thoughts concerning self-defense, nothing more. I certainly wasn't out to insight riots, and I'm by no means the kind of person who tends to get into fights. I've only in four since birth, and all were attacks on me: Two in childhood, one in college, and one twenty years later as an adult. Some people never get into fights. Some people have been in dozens. I'd say I'm pretty average for an American.

Parents are indeed responsible for their children. But that doesn't mean that they need to be snooping around behind the kid's back (engenders suspicion and paranoia) or kicking down the kid's door on any whim or caprice. For crying out loud, I was willing to give my dog more respect than that.

I understand that! Yup. Here, Fido....

Of course the main principle is to not exceed the heel height in which you're the most comfortable. Do that and you're miserable. Remain within that and you'll be quite happy.

eww, i dont get it.... why do ppl buy used shoes? Yeah theyre ok, theyre kinda cute - even if a guys gonna wear them, but, used shoes? no matter how good you clean them someones sweat, smelly feet germs are still gonna be soaked into the soles of those shoes and when you sweat your sweat mixes with their sweat and all sweat becomes one. Yuck, just buy them new. Payless has boots like that brand new for like 20 us dollars.

you dont know if they have some nasty foot fungus thats soaked into those shoes.

But as I always say, to each their own.

Melly

Nothing Lysol and about 24 hours of drying out time can't cure...

Why the over-emphasis on used shoes, Melly? Is it really that important so as to derail the thread?

Latest update... I told my mother. Never realized she could ever have such a dull attitude as THAT! She was worried, and said that people would laugh at me, that wearing "women's" shoes is not "normal" for a man, that "are you a transvestite?" question, and stated that this ridicule would cause isolation. I answered that hiding my true self and desires could do this WAY faster and stronger. I also told her that those who could poke fun could be some silly youngsters (and I don't care about them), and many women could compliment me. My mother told me that she didn't see any men wearing heels in the street, and I replied "I think many guys love heels, but they're hiding their passion because of the fear of ridicule- I don't!". I can understand her fears, but damnit, I've been working hard enough to gain more confidence, I did it (and still do) and I ain't gonna surrender! Momma says that these heels themselves are too thin to support my weight (I weigh ca. 80kg) and they could be acceptable if they were thicker. I wonder what she'd say if she saw TBG for example. Well, I began considering taking these booties to a cobbler for a heel change, or perhaps wearing them at a fancy dress party. No matter how hard my attempts to calm my mother down were, I didn't succeed in convincing her... yet. I'm gonna talk to her today (she went to sleep so that I had no opportunity for a longer talk) and tell her that men in 16- 18th century wore heels as tall as 12cm, and women can wear whatever they darn please (including ties and wingtips) whereas guys have a very narrow sartorial choice and I want to change this in my case. Oh, and I'd tell her about strict dress codes for females in 19/20th century and women wearing pants before this garment was embraced by mainstream fashion. Or guys with earrings. I think I should appeal to her sense of justice and tell me if this double standard is fair (I suppose that this question would knock her out). If she knew English, I'd definitely direct her here.

Wonderful, Tubehead! I read through your post in detail, and can't find a single thing against which I would recommend from your line of reasoning.

In otherwords, I support your conclusions and your directions 100%.

Hello Marco and Dr. Shoe -

Thank you for the warm welcome. It has taken me some time in getting here. I did not want to step on Gary's precious toes, however since he has assured me we can share this as well, I am delighted to be here!

Katherine

If he's assured you that you're welcome to share this world, then by all means, you're welcome here!

My previous girlfriend shared many of the sentiments you expressed herein. We're still exceptionally close friends, for which I'm exceptionally grateful. Thankfully, my preference for heels had nothing to do with our breakup, and I found that to be a surprising twist.

I'm very glad you're realizing that what's in a person's heart is not somehow ameliorated by how they clothe themselves. I've known greats who clothe themselves in rags, and rats who clothe themselves as would kings. Clothing does not make a man, but it's what's in his heart that defines his being!

Your acceptance of your husband's penchant for heels has warmed my heart, and has given many of us hope.

Thank you.

Aye, there's the rub, isn't it? Some women respond with a "you do? Well then let's go out and buy you another pair" while others sign the cross and you never hear from them again. Most women fall somewhere between those extremes, and some initial disbelief is usually a part of their response. Having read through most of the posts and dealt with these issues over the last five years of this website's existence, here's an amalgem of what seems to work the best: 1. Honesty is always the best policy. If you hide it, and she finds out later, she'll wonder what else you've been hiding. 2. Do tell. This goes hand in hand with honesty, but I have to say this, in all honesty - if you're uncertain as to her reaction, and you know you can go without, then go without - why add unnecessary friction in your marriage, or risk worse? If you feel like you can't, then simply tell her, "honey, I have this thing for heels." Then, let her ask the questions and be honest in your responses. 3. If you feel like she'd be ok with it, then just tell her! This is pretty much self-explanatory. In all, put her above your heel-wearing. I don't care how sympathetic a woman might be. If she thinks you're putting anything above her, even if it's your Superman comic book collection, Monday Night Football, an excessive sports training regimen - it's bad ju-ju. Most women don't want to be the center of attention, but they do want to feel like they're the apple of your eye. So if you want to strengthen the relationship, re-focus on the apple! Selfish indulgence is a killer in most relationships, whether that's preoccupation with the job, a hobby, or street-heeling. If you want her in your life, focus on her, not heels. Mention your interest, to be sure, in keeping with the honesty aspect, but make dang sure she knows, through your actions and words how much more she means to you than a pair of shoes. Otherwise, she's likely to think, "He care's more about his heels than he does about me" and she'd be perfectly justified in thinking that. Just some observations to ponder from someone who's "been there, done that."

JSpikeHeels, what a wonderful post, filled with a fairly well-balanced series of life experiences. All of us have got to make the choice as to whether we're going to work within society's expectations or blast through them willy-nilly. Ususually the latter is like investing in risky stocks - more return, but more risk. I think a healthy approach involves evaluating what we're willing to loose, then going no farther, and fostering that which we value the most. That said, and nothing more...

This is from another thread. It retains relevance there, but I'm requoting it here, as here's where it belongs. I'll also be posting a link there, to here, as a redirect. In this day and age, occasionally the difference between being a victem and a survivor involve the following, and the key thing to remember is that SIZE DOES NOT MATTER. Only technique, and training. I've seen 134 lb aspirants take down 243lb football players on a regular basis. It's not "mind over matter," but rather, "physics over brute strength."

Because we tend to be different, we need to know the tools of our to defend ourselves, if the case arises. Fortunately, I've had that happen absolutely 0 times while wearing heels, but I have had it raised once while in sneakers, jeans, and a t-shirt. Needless to say, I lost (they were better prepared than me). I lost $35, about 4 hours of consciousness, 2 days due to convalescent leave, and about the next 20 hours of on-duty time until my brain started working normally again. Even then, I had periods up to 8 months hence where I'd be overwhelmed, and it wasn't pretty.

Fortunately, the brain has a wonderful way of healing itself, provided the vitamins, nutrition, and mental exercise are present, and I test even higher on tests today than I did then.

Back to the story:

Stuff

To put not quite too fine a point on it, I was a diver (springboard) in high school, lettered in it, beat the crap (self-defense) out of the badass in school when he accused me of cheated in a game of no-pads, no-holds-barred football in the snow (he outweighed me by 35 lbs), but no one could tackle me (as I'd bicycled everywhere the past 10 years). He accosted me, I broke his jaw, and since he was the HS ringleader, I was never screwed with again. Wow - amazing what a 119 lb guy can do.

Same thing happened in college, exactly four years hence, but at a fraternity party, although the circumstances were merely my trying to retrieve the BYOB cooler that I'd carried into the establishment earlier. Instead of being helpful, the football player they'd hired as a "security guard" attempted to beat me to a pulp. He did lay three damaging blows on by backside before I a managed to break his jaw.

Folks, it's self defence. If he'd been concentrating, ONE blow from him could have ruined my day, permanently. A broken jaw heals. Ruptured kidneys don't fair so well.

He was fine and back in the game next fall (6 months later). It took me nine months before my right kidney regained normal function. One more hit on his part and I would have lost it.

I'm NOT a "scrapper," having been in just three fights in my 43-year-old life, one on Jr. High, one in College, and one that I lost (I was mugged) in a popular vacation spot.

All I'm saying is be prepared to talk yourself out of fights in the first place (perhaps 40 times), be prepared to run the other times (perhaps 4 times), and be prepared to take care of yourself the rest of the time (just 3 out of 47 times).

Taikwondo, is a wonderful non-agressive martial art which can protect you greatly without you having to learn how to break bricks with your fists. It's ideal is "protecting the attacker," and it's not about overpowering - it's about using the laws of physics to defeat his overpowering attack strategies.

And it works. After studying Aikido for less than a year, I encountered a guy who was a supposed black belt in Taikwondo, last summer, in 2005. Guess what folks, he was dang fast. I definately had a fight on my hands. He was actually upset that I interefered in his "acquisition" of another pilot in his outfit (she thought he was a creep). When he followed her home, I followed him, and when he accosted her, I intercepted and said in my unmistakable martial arts form, "Uh, no, I really don't think you ought to be going there with her."

The usual response with "why not?" and "Who do you think you are?" were replied to with my name and "her friend," and "please leave now."

The next few seconds are confusing, as his attack was with lightening speed, but as I had nothing to loose and everything to impress, I was somehow able to thwart his attacks, after which he asked me, "which martial art do you study?" I replied, "Aikido." He asked what belt I am, and I replied, "No belt, for I'm a beginning student." This really pissed him off, for he launched into another series of attacks, most of which I was able to slightly deflect, reducing broken bones to mere bruises.

He and I stood.

I said, "Take whatever sense of macho you have and go home. You're not going home with her. Neither am I. What's happening here is that you're going home intact, and so am I. If you can't accept that, I'm calling the police, and began punching in the code to the police on the cell phone."

He was a pilot under contract to the US government, didn't want to loose his job, etc., so he held up his hands and conceeded.

The bottom line here, folks, is that it takes a calm head to win a fight, and it certainly helps if you're properly trained. The best training is track, for if you run faster, or for longer than the other guy is willing to chase you, you've won. The next best training is in learning to deflect (not defeat) other means of attack, and for that, I recommend Aikido, as it's perhaps the best out there. This is particularly addressed to those of you who fear hate crimes because you, as a man, choose to wear heels. Always err on the side of caution, never believing your skills will keep you safe, for there are always ways of circumventing martial arts (guns...).

Instead, be smart, be safe, and be conservative. It'll never harm you to train in Aikido, as it's good for the bones without damaging the joints, great for flexibility, and is the one martial art which grants you the greatest liklihood of defending yourself to the best extend in the shortest amount of time.

Caveat - expect to study for a year or more before the results mentioned above are realized. But benefit also holds true - you'll be in much better shape and capable of defending yourself after a year than you were before.

Stuff

To put not quite too fine a point on it, I was a diver (springboard) in high school, lettered in it, beat the crap (self-defense) out of the badass in school when he accused me of cheated in a game of no-pads, no-holds-barred football in the snow (he outweighed me by 35 lbs), but no one could tackle me (as I'd bicycled everywhere the past 10 years). He accosted me, I broke his jaw, and since he was the HS ringleader, I was never screwed with again. Wow - amazing what a 119 lb guy can do.

Same thing happened in college, exactly four years hence, but at a fraternity party, although the circumstances were merely my trying to retrieve the BYOB cooler that I'd carried into the establishment earlier. Instead of being helpful, the football player they'd hired as a "security guard" attempted to beat me to a pulp. He did lay three damaging blows on by backside before I a managed to break his jaw.

Folks, it's self defence. If he'd been concentrating, ONE blow from him could have ruined my day, permanently. A broken jaw heals. Ruptured kidneys don't fair so well.

He was fine and back in the game next fall (6 months later). It took me nine months before my right kidney regained normal function. One more hit on his part and I would have lost it.

I'm NOT a "scrapper," having been in just three fights in my 43-year-old life, one on Jr. High, one in College, and one that I lost (I was mugged) in a popular vacation spot.

All I'm saying is be prepared to talk yourself out of fights in the first place (perhaps 40 times), be prepared to run the other times (perhaps 4 times), and be prepared to take care of yourself the rest of the time (just 3 out of 47 times).

Taikwondo, is a wonderful non-agressive martial art which can protect you greatly without you having to learn how to break bricks with your fists. It's ideal is "protecting the attacker," and it's not about overpowering - it's about using the laws of physics to defeat his overpowering attack strategies.

And it works. After studying Aikido for less than a year, I encountered a guy who was a supposed black belt in Taikwondo, last summer, in 2005. Guess what folks, he was dang fast. I definately had a fight on my hands. He was actually upset that I interefered in his "acquisition" of another pilot in his outfit (she thought he was a creep). When he followed her home, I followed him, and when he accosted her, I intercepted and said in my unmistakable martial arts form, "Uh, no, I really don't think you ought to be going there with her."

The usual response with "why not?" and "Who do you think you are?" were replied to with my name and "her friend," and "please leave now."

The next few seconds are confusing, as his attack was with lightening speed, but as I had nothing to loose and everything to impress, I was somehow able to thwart his attacks, after which he asked me, "which martial art do you study?" I replied, "Aikido." He asked what belt I am, and I replied, "No belt, for I'm a beginning student." This really pissed him off, for he launched into another series of attacks, most of which I was able to slightly deflect, reducing broken bones to mere bruises.

He and I stood.

I said, "Take whatever sense of macho you have and go home. You're not going home with her. Neither am I. What's happening here is that you're going home intact, and so am I. If you can't accept that, I'm calling the police, and began punching in the code to the police on the cell phone."

He was a pilot under contract to the US government, didn't want to loose his job, etc., so he held up his hands and conceeded.

The bottom line here, folks, is that it takes a calm head to win a fight, and it certainly helps if you're properly trained. The best training is track, for if you run faster, or for longer than the other guy is willing to chase you, you've won. The next best training is in learning to deflect (not defeat) other means of attack, and for that, I recommend Aikido, as it's perhaps the best out there. This is particularly addressed to those of you who fear hate crimes because you, as a man, choose to wear heels. Always err on the side of caution, never believing your skills will keep you safe, for there are always ways of circumventing martial arts (guns...).

Instead, be smart, be safe, and be conservative. It'll never harm you to train in Aikido, as it's good for the bones without damaging the joints, great for flexibility, and is the one martial art which grants you the greatest liklihood of defending yourself to the best extend in the shortest amount of time.

Caveat - expect to study for a year or more before the results mentioned above are realized. But benefit also holds true - you'll be in much better shape and capable of defending yourself after a year than you were before.

I'd say no difference, unless the heels rose above 2 inches, after that, it was a girl's world.

Thankfully, no more, as these are now offered in up to 13.

dr1819,

I only agreed that the forum was "too busy". My only real gripe is that the layout does not adjust to the width of the browser window as the other forum did.

Well, I am sorry, Lindsay. As with all change there are gives and takes. I think the takes definately outweight the gives, even though we might have to give up one or two of our favorite features of the old board to gain the benefits of the new one.

By the way, I personally never experienced the automatic resizing feature you speak of. Even though I use a resolution set at 1162x864, larger than most, I'd often have to scroll sideways to see the images in larger posts. I'm more at home with the narrower lists, as it eliminates the scrolling. As a nostalgic anecdote, it reminds me of the C-64 BBS days, where 40 characters was the limit!

Thank God those days are gone! The current limit is more than twice that, but still accomodates 90% of the member's screen resolutions.

That's a good thing.

Almost forgot to tell my story of what I did for Halloween! Our company decided to wear costumes to work on Halloween. The e-mail said "highly encouraged but it's up to you." About half did. More than a few of the women were cleopatra, a village wench, or something similar. I wore my black skirt (my favorite) with one of my wife's old belts, a blouse, a bra, and nails. Soft peach color. For heels I wore my pair of black, 3-1/2" stack heeled black suade boots from Payless. Yeah, cheap, but they're a bit more comfortable than my others. I didn't bother with the makeup or wig, but did bring a razor to work so I could shave again after lunch. It went over pretty well - lots of laughs.