Words of Encouragement

[abburke]

Hello, my name is Aaron. I have actually posted a couple of times on this forum but it was probably actually a couple of years ago. It has been a while since I have been on the discussion forum. I have to say that the last couple of days that I have skimmed the discussions it has been entertaining and enlightening. However, it seems there is a common theme threaded through the posts which is social acceptance. I have read several encouraging posts of some of you out in public wearing heels and receiving compliments especially from women which is great. I have also read several comments that scream for acceptance from society in general. I would like to offer some words of encouragement to you all to help you gain the initiative to wear or do what you want, especially heels as long as it doesn't hurt you or anyone else.

First of all, if you wait on major acceptance from society for anything you will miss out on a lot of joy being yourself. You must forget that and know that it is your God given right to wear heels if you want to. No one else has to give you permission. I suppose that if you have a significant other their opinion matters but hopefully you have informed them of your interest in wearing heels before anything serious develops and they are in agreement with you.

I started as a crossdresser at a young age and maintained status as one up until about 3 years ago. I got to wear I dressed completely as a woman and even ventured out in public from time to time. I finally had a revelation and realized that crossdressing was not for me and really what I wanted was just to be able to wear what I want and be myself, not having to pretend to be a woman just to wear a majority of the things I liked. I started incorporating such things into my male appearance such as long hair, painting nails, wearing heels or other "women's" shoes, pantyhose, etc. It was scary at first but I want to say it has been very rewarding. I have had very little negative response from it all.

The first thing I did was change my male wardrobe. I found some more stylish male attire, even adding some women's pants and capris etc. I had great response from that. Lots of great compliments from women. The second thing I did was to especially paint my toe nails in the french style with white tips. I had several women compliment me on it and even tell me they wished their husband would do it. I also painted my fingernails either a nude or french with white tips. I had some good resonse from that. The only negative comments I remember about my clothes and nails painted was from a couple of male co-workers who loved to tease me about ANYTHING and gave me a hard time. They were true blue rednecks though so you can imagine. I also recently had a young lady whom I have spoken to several times at the local Olive Garden tell me she didn't know about me having better looking feet than her with the french pedicure and wearing some bronze metallic "women's" thong sandals. I smiled at her and told her I could not help that my feet looked better and that I was honestly surprised by her response as most people who notice my feet compliment me on them. No big deal, not like she burned me at the stake and I lost no sleep over it.

The next thing I did was incorporate some heeled boots and sandals with my look. I paired them with some great denim jeans or dress pants that mostly covered the heel but not entirely. I received compliments even from my mother-in-law on some pairs of the boots. I have not really received any comments on my sandal heels. I also have pairs of "women's" sandals and even a pair of flats and most people do not even notice or do compliment me on them. My wife has told me that a couple of times when I have worn my sandal heels people have looked at me a second time and had some curious looks when I walked by them but I never noticed it. She doesn't like it when people look at me different but I don't really care.

One of the next things I did was grow my hair out and have it cut in a fashionable style, eventually adding highlights or other color. I have had SEVERAL compliments on that, even had a couple of guys ask me where I get my hair done and how I style it so they can do the same. When I go out I actually style my hair with a flat iron and product. Guys have even asked me what products I use to get it that way!

I also shave my legs and wear shorts alot which obviously no one notices that either. My wife would prefer I not shave but she knows that wearing pantyhose is much better with shaved legs. She really does not like me wearing the sandal heels as she thinks they draw too much attention and she is very protective of me, not wanting people's reactions to hurt me. I tell her even when she asks that it doesn't bother me and it is their problem if they do not like it. On a deep level it does affect everyone somewhat but we must realize it is only fear and we must rid ourselves of it. She doesn't like the fact that I am 6'2" and she is 5'1" and when I wear heels I add another 3" or so to my height! Oh well, maybe when she gets comfortable enough she can wear heels too and it will equal out.

What is my point in all of this? I guess I just wanted to tell you a little more about myself and encourage you with my own personal experiences. My next step is to get a kilt or two and wear them out and about, maybe try some actual colors on my nails. I have to convince my wife first and even myself because it seems to be a big step. Wear what you want as long as it doesn't hurt yourself or anyone else.

You might check out this German band I found while looking at some fashion articles, etc.:

http://www.tokiohotel-us.com

You will notice the lead singer Bill Kaulitz obviously doesn't care what others think of his look and he has literally millions of screaming women chasing after him! Just be yourself and go for it. God bless you all.

Aaron

[t-strap lover]

Hello Aaron. Nice article you wrote about yourself. You did mention as long as it doesn't hurt others, but it looks as if you don't care how your wife feels, and I did read in your story that she does have some issues with your semi crossdressing. To each his on, but people close to you that are affected should have some say or it should be kept private. Just my oppinion. Havea nice day.

[canadianbeaver17]

Welcome to the board, Aaron. I myself am attempting to fit into the look you are trying to protray now, maybe minus the long hair. It seems to me that more this summer than any time most of my female friends feel that I need to push the envelope farther and try to wear what I want. I am still reserved at times, but under certain situations, I let it all hang out. Keep it up and enjoy!

[flavio]

Very nice article! I was just a bit affraid in the beggining that your story was in a route to disaster and in the end you would be regretting and telling that you quitted and went to a "regular male" living. Very nice it didn't happened!!!

[benno]

Great inspirational story. I love the part about realising cross dressing wasn't the answer and you wanted to simply be a better dressed man. I think it take far more guts to be a man in whatever clothes that he wants rather than a bloke dressed like a poor impression of a woman. I find transvestites a bit sexist in that they steal womens identity and almost cheapen the idea of a sexily dressed woman. I also apply the same thinking to women pretending to be men. Don't pretend to be someone else... Get you own look and identity! I can totally understand how some feel under less pressure as society loves a tranny. My Girlfriend went to Ascot today and saw a man she described as a 'Crap tranny in a meringue of a dress'. I am certain that if I turned up wearing tasteful, stylish but dressy clothes complete with heels, but very obviously as a man then I would not have been welcomed there. Regarding Tokio Hotel. They are just rubbish pretend Punks and the lead singer gets the attention of women because he is absurdly good looking. He doesn't look too great in his choice of clothes and I feel it might be a little bit of a stunt to get the media chattering. More like a teenage Emo girl gone mad in New Look and Primark. It's all good and in the name of fun though. Hat's off to him for whatever reason he chooses to wear what he does.

[vector]

Aaron, All I can say is welcome back my brother and I wish you (and your wife) all the best on your (or both of yours) journey of self discovery. In my opinion life, like success, is a journey, not a destination!

[mikeheel]

Re: Ascot I wonder if the rules mention footware? Perhaps it would be interesting to pursue the idea that all people are free to wear anything, unless insructed otherwise, rather than people can only wear that which is prescribed. If one chooses to attend a private function or join a club then there will be an element of complience required? I'm rambling OT I guess? M

[abburke]

Wow, thank you all for your replies and encouragement. T-strap lover, I really do hold my wife's views in consideration when it comes to my style and shoes because if it were not for her opinions I would probably be wearing more daring shoes. Because I respect her and her requests I have not done so because I do not want to hurt her feelings. I do think in time maybe she will grow with me. I however, do not consider my style choices "semi-crossdressing." Just my opinion. Thank you Flavio for your comments and yes it is a rather strange twist of events. Benno thanks for the info about Tokio Hotel. They do rather seem packaged and attention addictive! Maybe in some way he will make more men aware of freedom choices in their style. Vector, thanks for the warm welcome and thank you all for your warm comments. Aaron

[roniheels]

Abburke... Thank you for sharing your stories, thoughts, and experiences. It sounds like to me you are now very comfortable with your appearence and wardrobe. I think you get your point across that you have to decide who you are and how you want to display yourself privately and publicly. And, as many other members with supportive spouses or significant others, you are very lucky in that regard. Please continue to share your future thoughts and especially experiences. Look forward to hearing from you in the furture.

[Stilettoscot]

Aaron, Thanks for sharing your story. As for me, well, I'm still searching... All the best, Scott

[hhfan70]

u said what i want to say,thank u!