Considerations when getting highheels for the bedroom?

[LordClick]

I am thinking about buying some highheels for my wife for the bedroom, as I think it's sexy and could spice things up. I just have some questions: 1. What should I consider when buying them, is there anything that works better than something else? She has size 6.5. She normally wears 2 - 3" heels when going out. (I like higher heels though ) 2. What are, generally, good stores to get sexy highheels (but not too extreme, as she usually is barefoot in the apartment). I'm in LA. 3. How could I encourage her indirectly to wear the heels for me instead of me asking her to put them on before we get it on? I guess it would happen after I tell her a couple of times? 4. If I can get her to wear some heels in the bedroom sometimes (which she said yes to) maybe I can convince her to wear them more often at home, not just in the bedroom. Is that a good approach? Hopefully you gals have some good advice for me...?

[dr1819]

Women become upset when men beat around the bush on issues like that, because they begin to think men have ulterior motives (we don't). So, just lay it out, close the gap, make eye contact, and say: "Honey, tonights our date nights. Let's go shopping for a pair of heels for you this morning, so that after we're done with our date night, I can see how your wonderfully luscious body looks in a pair of heels. And if one thing leads to another, well, all the better! How does that sound by you? She may not want to wait until the date...

[RPMindy]

nice reply. be straight with it and be prepared in case she says no so that you don't show too much disappointment.... that can back fire. Ladies, take it away RPM

[polkadot]

Women are reluctant to wear high heel shoes because these shoes are not comfortable and because women do not know that it is possible to make comfortable, high heel shoes. You have to take charge. First, read the short, technical description of comfortable high heel shoes:

http://www.medianet.pl/~andrew/shoes/comfy_heels.htm. Then, decide if you can afford custom made shoes. If not, take ready made shoes to a cobbler to stretch their tow boxes before you make custom inserts at home from duct tape.

[Firefox]

So are the guys going to tell us what women want, or are some women going to venture an opinion, or do the women not care anyway?

[Bubba136]

Are there any women left here!

[taliheels]

i think the best option are hheel mules your wife will slip into them easily and slip them off- no fiddly straps or squeezing into boots have had same dilemna of indirectly telling wife to wear heels in bed- and mules are a practical (and sexy) option just remembered its my 100th post!

[LordClick]

thanks for your input guys, I'm sure you have experience and I will definitely consider your suggestions. i would however love to hear from you GALS how you think I should approach this and what you think might be the best way to make wearing highheels 'tasty' to my wife and all the other questions I had (By the way, I couldn't check in earlier since the website/forum seemed to have problems, they didn't load)

[Ellen-Jay]

i think the best option are hheel mules your wife will slip into them easily and slip them off- no fiddly straps or squeezing into boots

have had same dilemna of indirectly telling wife to wear heels in bed- and mules are a practical (and sexy) option

just remembered its my 100th post!

"Practical shoes in bed"!!! Probably an oxymoron, but if not - what's the point of being practical?? Might as well wear her slippers. Given the lack of imagination here it's a surprise anyone is getting any!!

Ellen-Jay (one of the very few women here)

[taliheels]

ellen -jay you have completely failed to grasp the context of the question- the good lord is trying to guide his wife slowly and EASILY into shoes in the bedroom , mules as i said are EASY to slip in and out of in fact your argument appears nothing more than fecetious

[Ellen-Jay]

I rest my case. Ellen-Jay

[LordClick]

Ellen-Jay, thank you very much for taking your time to post a reply, although taliheels is right, I am trying to introduce the idea to her slowly and without her thinking that I'm unusually strange with such a request If you have any suggestions, please let me know, and hopefully others of the very few women here might join in.

[taliheels]

i took ellen jays post a bit too seriously as ive just seen some of her others. (cheeky little minx she is and all)ellen please wear your highest heels walk all over me and give me a good kicking

[Ellen-Jay]

I'd love too!! Ellen-Jay

[RPMindy]

E-J, you're one interesting woman. Really!!! Your comments makes me think before 'hastily' replying. I get your point! Ask with confidence and respect and wait for an answer. The worse answer is no.... you're no worse off than if you didn't ask. the best case, she's more than happy to ablidge and you're in the jackpot!!! So, E-J, can I see another round of pics of you in your 7 inch black pumps? Thanks in advance for your special and most sexy of considerations. RPM

[sendra45]

Damn, I am breaking my own rule here by posting in the gals section. It seems to be the general rule that high heels are sexy to look at and make the wearer feel sexy when worn, lets face it that is what they are designed for. So, buy the most sexy pair of shoes or boots you can find, she might find it a little weird the first time, but I am sure your enthusiasm once in bed may make her think about wearing them again if not you will just have to try harder Nigel

[Bubba136]

I wouldn't worry about it, Nigel. EJ is the only female left around.

[Ellen-Jay]

It would seem so Bubba , and I ain't going to bother talking to myself. Back to the original point, Lordclick does need to simply ask, a request to wear high heels is hardly a hardcore fetish request after all. It all depends on the nature of his relationship with his wife and their ability to communicate. Nigel is right in his post too. Ellen-Jay

[Ellen-Jay]

E-J,

So, E-J, can I see another round of pics of you in your 7 inch black pumps? Thanks in advance for your special and most sexy of considerations.

RPM

You may be lucky RPM, you may need to beef up the compliment from "interesting" though.

Ellen-Jay

[RPMindy]

I will admit to my luck. I also know that hard work pays off too. being assertive, gentlmanly, and complimentary goes a long way. I will take then hint and beef up my compliments and minimize the use of the word "interesting". As one would say, 'good lookin out'. You work is marvelous! In the event I've called your pics interesting, I present my deepest and most sincere of apologies. I have saved a copy of all your lovely and sexy pictures because I really enjoy them a lot. I'll see you again soon... picture wise RPM but I do appreciate your special and most sexy of considerations

[taliheels]

I'd love too!!

Ellen-Jay

thats my sort of woman!- now you squeeze into those 7inch pumps pronto!(pics please!) - i have been a naughty boy and need to be punished

[Priscilla Heil Heels]

First, read the short, technical description of comfortable high heel shoes:

http://www.medianet.pl/~andrew/shoes/comfy_heels.htm. Then, decide if you can afford custom made shoes.

I'm just dreaming about a pair of custom made heels.

Thumbs up for mules!

Anyway,try to read this http://jennyspage.co.uk/goddessguide1.htm ,if she's not into high heels, I think it can be useful.

[Adeana]

My suggestion...as you said you want to hear from some of the 'gals' is this.... bedroom heels should be no problem to get her to wear, you said she agreed, and I think your work will be more for buying them. Get a style you think she will like...the 'sexy her'. It's your wife so you both should be comfortable with something riske' I would think. Not like the guy that I dated for a while (who had a heel thing) and got me this wild pair of 6" red super-strappy platforms after a month of dating....hehe Wearing them around the house might be no big deal if you tie it into some foreplay....you know? And don't forget to compliment her a lot for wearing them! Wearing them out is even more daring for her maybe? Turn it into a game or a fun dare. Happened to me before and at one point I was like "I can't believe I actually took his dare and wore these! Oh well, it's all in fun!" Hope that helps!

[rubberheel]

Hmm...well, I am a woman, but since I have always loved to wear heels, I'm not quite sure I can add anything of interest. But in general I think it's important not to try to impose your own fetish on your partner. I once had a boyfriend who had a lingerie thing, and even though I love lingerie and wear it for my own pleasure, I ended up with daydreams about burning it all. Somehow I felt that he "depended" too much on it - that he was basically attracted by my underwear and not by me. It was not so, and I knew it, but I just got so sick and tired of it all and wanted to go back to a "requisite-free" sexlife. I have heard many women tell similar stories about hated raincoats, handcuffs, wigs etc.., so please, be careful. Besides, I think it's a good idea to let her pick out the shoes herself. Good luck!

[BlondeBimbo]

So are the guys going to tell us what women want, or are some women going to venture an opinion, or do the women not care anyway?

You should know what we women want - we shouldn't have to explain - If you loved us you would know........................

Surely you have all been on the recieving end of these arguements!!!

:rofl:

BB

[BlondeBimbo]

In all seriousness, I am not a agony aunt, but I would suggest you step carefully. I think it is a bit of a man-thing to think about an object being sexy (clothing in this case)– I know you are really thinking about her – but perhaps it doesn’t come across that way. I don’t know how to put it, but I guess most men would think that: “Those shoes would look really sexy on you” is the same as “You would look so sexy with those shoes” – believe me it isn’t! Just look at how women buy clothing, we look at the style – hold it up against ourselves, look in a mirror – we think how WE would look in that item – not how it looks on us, men tend to look at the item, make sure it’s the correct size – job done! (OK a bit general I know) So I think rather than showing a desire for her to wear high heeled shoes, I think you should show that beautiful as she is, how much more beautiful she looks with the shoes, and that it is not the item you desire, but how it makes a beautiful women such as her so much more so. - It’s how your relationship runs – so it’s difficult for anyone else to comment in all honesty. BB

[RPMindy]

Hey BB,

Your name makes me laugh, but that is another post (you don't live up to your name with your intelligent responses)

What I wanted to say, as much as I claim to know how to make my woman happy and claim to keep her so, you opened my eyes to a key distinction that I get wrong often. Thanks for clearing that up for me.

I don’t know how to put it, but I guess most men would think that:

“Those shoes would look really sexy on you”

is the same as

“You would look so sexy with those shoes”

– believe me it isn’t!

BB, thank you for making that very clear to me. I know deep inside there is a marked difference, but that is where it stays. I thought I was always sounding sweet no matter which I used. So far, it hasn't really bitten me in the behind, but I will be much much more careful of my choice of words and take a moment extra to see a woman's take on it.

I try to be a gentleman, but every now and again, I learn new things that help me get the gentleman duties done more effortlessly. Thanks again.

So, to recap for me, compliments work wonders, especially if they are honest and heart felt.. but when complimenting, always... it's the woman who looks hot, not the item she wears. Cool! (by the way, it's so easy for a guy like me to make the error in compliment .. can't speak for other guys)

RPM

p.s. going back to silently observing......

[BobsAngie]

Hi, When I met Robert I didn't even own a pair of heels. He changed all of that. I find that women are far more shy than they seem, we seem angry when we are really insecure or embarrassed. But almost all of us like attention, it just can feel kind of weird getting it! I suggest buying her a pair of heels, plain black leather is always a good start, or even leather imitation. Now.....go buy her a gift cerificate for a pedicure and send her on her way to get "pretty feet".......that evening while making a fuss over her cute toes, slip those shoes on and ask her if she thinks they look even half as sexy as you do! Just remember......we women are sooooo very hard on ourselves and our self images, our reactions in the bedroom often have more to do with our self image and nudity than they do with anything else. If she hates her feet and the way they look.....putting them in heels and telling her how sexy her feet are is just NOT going to work. That is why I suggest the pedicure.....I didn't suggest stockings because we women often hate.....and I mean HATE that our thighs bulge over them, they must paint them on those nylon models because they just do not look like that on normal women and then we obsess about our ugly fat thighs and forget we have on pretty shoes. Or......LOL.....take a deep breath and ask her, offer the pedicure, if she giggles and says no...she is just being shy and needs you to flirt and convince her. Find out what she thinks is sexy and even more impo0rtant...find out what she doesn't like. If she smacks you on the head....well.....she just isn't going to wear heels! Angie

[RPMindy]

Angie, You're so right. I've come to appreciate that a lot these past few days. I've been making more suggestions to my lady about things I want to see taking place. I've ran into the first layer of serious insecurity that I must have missed all along our dating lives. She is so concious about her figure and she does such a great job hiding her self-consciousness. i know she's concerned, but had no idea how much so. I learned in the past few weeks that the approach you've mentioned works to put her mind at ease about how she views herself and then frees her to consider what i'm suggesting. (doesn't mean I get it right away or at all either) In addition to loving my lady in heels, I love seeing women drive while looking sexy (that to me means just love seeing them drive period because I think most women are sexy no matter what) Her insecurities are posing a challenge for me that i've taken on with great interest. to me, this is a great time to be Mr nice guy, romantic, patient, understanding, and supportive. So, the goal is not so much getting what I want, but showing her that I care and love her as she is and in time getting her to see what I'm seeing. The added bonus would be if she did what I asked, but it's only an added bonus. (in all honesty, i sometimes feel like screaming and saying what is the big deal. but that is because i'm seeing it from a man's point of view. to me it's no big deal. to her, it's a great big deal.) I want her to wear her leather skirt she wore on one of our first dates. she feels fat in it and refuses to wear it again (even after loosing weight after the first wear). i had no idea she felt that way. i think she looks so hot in it!! but, she doesn't. i don't get it, she's so hot in that skirt!! actually, my lady is plain hot to me!!! (and to more guys than I care for.. but that is a compliment to her and I) Back on topic, Angie, you put into words so well what I'm learning and what most men fail to realize about their women. RPM p.s. after posting, i realize i was in the ladies forum. I'm sorry for posting so much here (especially this thread). I'll try harder not to invade you gal's place.

[chris100575]

“Those shoes would look really sexy on you”

is the same as

“You would look so sexy with those shoes”

– believe me it isn’t!

BB

I'd never made that distinction either, thanks for pointing it out BB. One more piece of advice, if you manage to get your wife to wear heels in bed, make sure you don't pay more attention to the heels than you do to her! I made that mistake once, and it didn't go down well...

Chris