New Relatives.

[ilikekicks]

The usual disclaimer : This story might offend some, make others laugh and have many believe I need to be institutionalized/lobotomized or just outright put out of my misery for the benefit of mankinds gene pool. Either way, if your easily offended, please just pass on by this story as its not for you. Ive been meeting my wifes family now at ' family events '. We really didnt have a wedding ( Justice of the peace and a small party of maybe 20 people afterwards . Neither of us are for large events ). Im getting to know the faces and what they do for a living, who is whom and such. The weather here has been shitty. Cold and snowy. Not much to do as of late. Cabin fever of sorts. I was working on new material but have come down with a rabid case of what some call ' writers block ' and I just cant seem to scribe or record whats in my head. Its not depressing, just aggravating! So I show up to one of Darians families gatherings and meet her aunts, uncles, cousins.. Apparently, rumor had it that Im believed to be a pothead, a bisexual, a ' roadie ' for a band.. some oddball shit of somekind.. Well.. I didnt make such a bad first impression and kind of shocked many of them. Cargo-type pants, a long backed white collared shirt ( the one that Kneehighs gave me the link to in another thread ) and a pair of flats. I mingled and most were shocked that I dont drink at all. 10 days will mark 21 years sober. I could tell they had those ' questions '. Ya know? The ' What are your skeletons in your closet ' type. Were at the dinner table, about 13-15 of us. So her 17 year old nephew ( Damian.. what a fitting name ) was the first to actually have the stones to ask me something.. " Dude, like are you wearing womens clothes? " His mother scolded him and I sort of interjected and stopped her. ' No guy, Im wearing my clothes. Im not one of those new aged gansta wanna be's whom has their pants around their knees making an ass of themselves. I bought these threads with money I earned when I was working. Im retired at a young age now and just do work for my family when they need me to. Its a great life. Im happy and I hope your Aunt is as well '. The kids father then asked " So you do wear high heeled shoes then? ". ' Yep. I didnt wish to have a shock factor in meeting all of you so I chose to wear something less striking. Im no Christian Louboutin or Jimmy Choo. ' " Who? " The kids mother ( Jan/Janet )seemed impressed. " Sounds like you know your footware! " ' Hold that thought please '. I wiped my mouth, folded up my napkin that was in my lap ( sorry folks, I do have table manors! ) and went out to the car. Darian usually keeps her pumps she wears to work in there somewhere ( car is an absolute f-ing mess right now! ). Found her pumps, went back in, put them on. The whole downstairs of the house is tile flooring. click.. click click.. Back to the table, sat down, put my napkin in my my lap and started eating again. So we casually started eating and conversing again.. Let me tell you, Darians grandmother looked like she shit herself. She was catatonic with her spoon stuffed in her mouth for all of 10-15 minutes. We started another conversation and her granny was just sitting there.. like the spoon was superglued to the top on her mouth. I didnt want to be rude so I just acted like I didnt see anything. Jan brought the subject up again stating " You seem to walk well in those shoes. ". She was no prude so.. ' Ya know.. its funny you mentioned that because sometimes.. I catch guys checking out my ass when I strut ' Darians grandmother spit out the spoon and her top plate with it, right onto her plate and into her food! I shit nobody on this! It was fucking priceless! I just burst out laughing! Damian had his drink come out his nose from laughing! Jan lost it! Darian put both hands over her mouth and her eyes became bigger then the plate she was eating off of! Even her grandfather started to chuckle but TRIED to be.. caring to the needs of his wife? I dunno how to put it. Needless to say, things went a bit smoother after dinner. Well, The Grand dad heard I ' worked on houses ' and that I fixed the walls in her daughters house.. and was promptly paid with a few pairs of shoes ( thats where all the rumors and trash started. People didnt believe I accepted such as payment. ). " What do ya fix in houses besides walls and plaster? " I was a GC ( General Contractor and have done a bit in everything BUT I excel in the ' lost arts '. NOBODY does plaster work. Its all drywall/sheetrock now. SO I asked what he had in mind. " I need a new floor in my upstairs bathroom. We had a new tub put in and the floor is god awful and in need of replacement. There is like 4 or 5 floors already in there.. ". So I used a pry bar he had and took a look at it. Needless to say, thats been my ' hobby ' this past week. I called up an old employee and we made an arrangement for a grand for a week of his labour. I already had the tiles, epoxy grout and adhesives needed to do the job in a storage unit from a job I did years ago.. So, Darians Grandfather now has a whole new bathroom for a grand. We did the copper pipes/plumbing, bee's wax seals, PVC piping for the drain and gas release, changed the outlets to GFCI and snaked 10/3 to the main box in the cellar. The money ( grand ) was for my guy/employee, I didnt take any for myself. Hes been out of work since I closed shop. It seems nobody wants to hire a 40+ yr old colored guy from a bad neighborhood. Darians Grandfather ' knows some people ' and were going to see what we can do. What was shocking was after we finished the job, he and I had a talk. The old timer is a Korea War Vet. He heard I did 4 years myself and wondered how a guy.. with my background.. could ever wear ' womens clothes '. Well, after meeting me and seeing Im underweight he understood I couldnt find clothes that fit in the mens section. The heels part though.. that spooked him. So I boiled it all down to ' if im 3/4ths of the way there, why not finish the job? '. Needless to say, I think her family is enjoying having me around. Their property values are going to go up and their costs of repairs are going down drastically. I plan on doing the upstairs in his place. It has the ugliest F-ing green on the walls! They are real plaster and in need of a LOT of work! Cheap ass lamanent flooring.. WTF! The downstairs is all rock/tile and the upstairs is ' el cheapo ' ?!?!? The Old timer and his wife gave me a ' pass ' and ( Im going to call this.. ) a form of acceptence. They understand I might smoke a joint once in a while, I dont drink, I dont run around on their grand daughter and that if they ever have a question to just ask and I wont bullshit them on an answer. I guess im loosing touch with reality in that I really dont give a rats ass on whom sees me wearing whatever I have on. I should have just worn a pair of pumps over to begin with. Pics from his bathroom while in progress.. Edit : Pics are out of order. they should be viewed as 1 , 2, 5, 4, 3

[Rockpup]

Sounds like an interesting visit. Meeting inlaws when you do not 100% fit the mold for what they expected from your mate can be difficult.

I guess im loosing touch with reality in that I really dont give a rats ass on whom sees me wearing whatever I have on. I should have just worn a pair of pumps over to begin with.

Naa, Was being polite. Much easier to dress neutral and let them warm up to you then to come in wearing "fuck you" clothes, expecting a hard time, and getting just that.

[Logjam]

Well done! Regards, Logjam

[Jimnj3]

A most interesting evening! You have a great way of telling how it all went down! Now that everyone knows all will be acceptive. I had a good laugh will reading. Jim

[Shafted]

ILK, when I see your disclaimer, I know a good read is coming. You didn't disappoint.

[shrimper]

The usual disclaimer : This story might offend some, make others laugh and have many believe I need to be institutionalized/lobotomized or just outright put out of my misery for the benefit of mankinds gene pool. Either way, if your easily offended, please just pass on by this story as its not for you.

Ive been meeting my wifes family now at ' family events '. We really didnt have a wedding ( Justice of the peace and a small party of maybe 20 people afterwards . Neither of us are for large events ). Im getting to know the faces and what they do for a living, who is whom and such.

The weather here has been shitty. Cold and snowy. Not much to do as of late. Cabin fever of sorts. I was working on new material but have come down with a rabid case of what some call ' writers block ' and I just cant seem to scribe or record whats in my head. Its not depressing, just aggravating!

So I show up to one of Darians families gatherings and meet her aunts, uncles, cousins..

Apparently, rumor had it that Im believed to be a pothead, a bisexual, a ' roadie ' for a band.. some oddball shit of somekind..

Well.. I didnt make such a bad first impression and kind of shocked many of them.

Cargo-type pants, a long backed white collared shirt ( the one that Kneehighs gave me the link to in another thread ) and a pair of flats.

I mingled and most were shocked that I dont drink at all. 10 days will mark 21 years sober.

I could tell they had those ' questions '. Ya know? The ' What are your skeletons in your closet ' type.

Were at the dinner table, about 13-15 of us. So her 17 year old nephew ( Damian.. what a fitting name ) was the first to actually have the stones to ask me something..

" Dude, like are you wearing womens clothes? "

His mother scolded him and I sort of interjected and stopped her. ' No guy, Im wearing my clothes. Im not one of those new aged gansta wanna be's whom has their pants around their knees making an ass of themselves. I bought these threads with money I earned when I was working. Im retired at a young age now and just do work for my family when they need me to. Its a great life. Im happy and I hope your Aunt is as well '.

The kids father then asked " So you do wear high heeled shoes then? ".

' Yep. I didnt wish to have a shock factor in meeting all of you so I chose to wear something less striking. Im no Christian Louboutin or Jimmy Choo. '

" Who? "

The kids mother ( Jan/Janet )seemed impressed. " Sounds like you know your footware! "

' Hold that thought please '. I wiped my mouth, folded up my napkin that was in my lap ( sorry folks, I do have table manors! ) and went out to the car. Darian usually keeps her pumps she wears to work in there somewhere ( car is an absolute f-ing mess right now! ). Found her pumps, went back in, put them on. The whole downstairs of the house is tile flooring. click.. click click.. Back to the table, sat down, put my napkin in my my lap and started eating again.

So we casually started eating and conversing again..

Let me tell you, Darians grandmother looked like she shit herself. She was catatonic with her spoon stuffed in her mouth for all of 10-15 minutes. We started another conversation and her granny was just sitting there.. like the spoon was superglued to the top on her mouth.

I didnt want to be rude so I just acted like I didnt see anything.

Jan brought the subject up again stating " You seem to walk well in those shoes. ". She was no prude so.. ' Ya know.. its funny you mentioned that because sometimes.. I catch guys checking out my ass when I strut '

Darians grandmother spit out the spoon and her top plate with it, right onto her plate and into her food! I shit nobody on this! It was fucking priceless! I just burst out laughing!

Damian had his drink come out his nose from laughing!

Jan lost it!

Darian put both hands over her mouth and her eyes became bigger then the plate she was eating off of!

Even her grandfather started to chuckle but TRIED to be.. caring to the needs of his wife? I dunno how to put it.

Needless to say, things went a bit smoother after dinner.

Well, The Grand dad heard I ' worked on houses ' and that I fixed the walls in her daughters house.. and was promptly paid with a few pairs of shoes ( thats where all the rumors and trash started. People didnt believe I accepted such as payment. ).

" What do ya fix in houses besides walls and plaster? "

I was a GC ( General Contractor and have done a bit in everything BUT I excel in the ' lost arts '. NOBODY does plaster work. Its all drywall/sheetrock now. SO I asked what he had in mind.

" I need a new floor in my upstairs bathroom. We had a new tub put in and the floor is god awful and in need of replacement. There is like 4 or 5 floors already in there.. ".

So I used a pry bar he had and took a look at it. Needless to say, thats been my ' hobby ' this past week. I called up an old employee and we made an arrangement for a grand for a week of his labour. I already had the tiles, epoxy grout and adhesives needed to do the job in a storage unit from a job I did years ago..

So, Darians Grandfather now has a whole new bathroom for a grand. We did the copper pipes/plumbing, bee's wax seals, PVC piping for the drain and gas release, changed the outlets to GFCI and snaked 10/3 to the main box in the cellar.

The money ( grand ) was for my guy/employee, I didnt take any for myself. Hes been out of work since I closed shop. It seems nobody wants to hire a 40+ yr old colored guy from a bad neighborhood. Darians Grandfather ' knows some people ' and were going to see what we can do.

What was shocking was after we finished the job, he and I had a talk.

The old timer is a Korea War Vet. He heard I did 4 years myself and wondered how a guy.. with my background.. could ever wear ' womens clothes '.

Well, after meeting me and seeing Im underweight he understood I couldnt find clothes that fit in the mens section. The heels part though.. that spooked him.

So I boiled it all down to ' if im 3/4ths of the way there, why not finish the job? '.

Needless to say, I think her family is enjoying having me around. Their property values are going to go up and their costs of repairs are going down drastically. I plan on doing the upstairs in his place. It has the ugliest F-ing green on the walls! They are real plaster and in need of a LOT of work! Cheap ass lamanent flooring.. WTF! The downstairs is all rock/tile and the upstairs is ' el cheapo ' ?!?!?

The Old timer and his wife gave me a ' pass ' and ( Im going to call this.. ) a form of acceptence. They understand I might smoke a joint once in a while, I dont drink, I dont run around on their grand daughter and that if they ever have a question to just ask and I wont bullshit them on an answer.

I guess im loosing touch with reality in that I really dont give a rats ass on whom sees me wearing whatever I have on. I should have just worn a pair of pumps over to begin with.

Pics from his bathroom while in progress..

Edit : Pics are out of order. they should be viewed as 1 , 2, 5, 4, 3

That was a great job on the bathroom. I'm sure you have a couple of new fans now. You're also opening eyes and minds of some straight-laced folks.

[AZShoeNut]

ILK, when I see your disclaimer, I know a good read is coming. You didn't disappoint.

Exactly!

I really love reading the tales of your day to day life. Thank you for sharing.

Best,

Larry

[ilikekicks]

People out there really dont care what we wear after they understand who we are. Just be ourselves and thats all we really need to do.

[Curt]

You always have great stories! If you brought out a book, I would be the first one to buy it! Don't stop writing these great stories!

[ilikekicks]

You always have great stories! If you brought out a book, I would be the first one to buy it! Don't stop writing these great stories!

If I ever wrote a book, one of several things might happen.

1.) It would be banned for giving bad ideas to the youths of today. Ive done some very STUPID things in my day. I mean REALLY stupid things. I really dont have any memories from my 15th birthday till I woke up/sobered up at Parris Island wondering ' How the fuck did I get here and whos this guy with the cop hat threatening to thrash me? '

2.) Most would say it was quite fictional. Again, Ive done some things im not proud of and would probably change peoples opinions of me.

3.) It would be a comic best seller. If there was a section on this site that was for ' just stories ' and ones that didnt involve heels, I guarantee the threads would have a following just to LAUGH AT some of the crap I have done.

4.) The Cops would read some of it and say ' Holy shit! Weve been looking for this guy for 2-3 decades! ' and would be at my door the next moment.

[HighHeelLover86]

Oh holy crap!!! It never ceases to amaze what I'll find during the day to tickle my funny bone. The grandmother expelling her dentures is absolutely priceless! How unfortunate that you and I live so far apart because you're my kind of people ILK. You keep doing what you're doing and I'll just keep laughing and taking a bit of inspiration dude. Hell I'm still laughing my ass off!

[Guest]

Great story. I wish my wife was as comfortable with this as yours. She allows it, but some shoes she does not like.

[heels59]

ILK, I concur that you have a special gift for storytelling in written medium and an autobiography would be a great place to start. If you didn't murder anyone, statute of limitations will protect you. For a good example of how an utterly FU life can still be a fascinating autobiography, read: http://www.amazon.com/Running-Scissors-Memoir-Augusten-Burroughs/dp/031242227X/ref=pd_sim_b_4 I suspect you may have, as do I, a touch of what is now called Asperger's Syndrome. Either way, you will enjoy the massively creative work of John Elder Robison (brother of the above auther) and his contribution and place in the history of rock&roll. His autobiography: http://www.amazon.com/Look-Me-Eye-Life-Aspergers/dp/0307396185/ref=pd_sim_b_4 Read these, then start your own. (sorry, no heel content here; that starts in the ILK autobiography)

[ilikekicks]

Great story. I wish my wife was as comfortable with this as yours.

She allows it, but some shoes she does not like.

Im not saying Darian is 100% comfortable with what I wear BUT she realizes its a part of me. Her and I dont agree on a lot of what we choose to wear. 90% of the time when shes not in her ' office wear ' shes in frumpy sweat pants or looks like she used to work for me as a plaster/wall repair type.

What we wear doesnt change who we are inside thought. She knows this and so do I.

She doesnt like me wearing the shoes her mother gave me. It sorta doesnt sit well with her. Shes not really into women ( we have talked about it ) and the whole clothing thing does nothing for her, even guys clothes do nothing for her. Its the person whom wins her attraction/affection.

We do have our moments where we both walk away before tempers flare but for the most part, were inseparable.

Oh holy crap!!! It never ceases to amaze what I'll find during the day to tickle my funny bone. The grandmother expelling her dentures is absolutely priceless! How unfortunate that you and I live so far apart because you're my kind of people ILK. You keep doing what you're doing and I'll just keep laughing and taking a bit of inspiration dude. Hell I'm still laughing my ass off!

We need to laugh, even at ourselves. When we cannot laugh anymore, were dead ( literally ). Life needs to be enjoyed at all times outside of certain moments where we grieve.

I suspect you may have, as do I, a touch of what is now called Asperger's Syndrome. Either way, you will enjoy the massively creative work of John Elder Robison (brother of the above auther) and his contribution and place in the history of rock&roll. His autobiography:

http://www.amazon.co.../ref=pd_sim_b_4

Read these, then start your own.

(sorry, no heel content here; that starts in the ILK autobiography)

Actually, I had a wake-up call in life recently. Medical issues ( not Asperger's ). I met the love of my life, closed a business and just found the time to do what I wanted to do. I found an ' open door ' to walk through and just live the way I wanted to instead of the ways others believe we should.

I dont believe I need millions of dollars, kids, a house and a dog with a picket fence, a god or many other things to be happy. If others do, I wish them t a long and ultimately happiest of life. For me? If theres a roof over head, food on the plate and someone whom actually gives a shit about my well being.. what more do I really need?

My life doesnt need complexity.

-Ilk

[Jimnj3]

I dont believe I need millions of dollars, kids, a house and a dog with a picket fence, a god or many other things to be happy. If others do, I wish them t a long and ultimately happiest of life. For me? If theres a roof over head, food on the plate and someone whom actually gives a shit about my well being.. what more do I really need? My life doesnt need complexity. -Ilk Have to agree with you on this statement about life! Glad you found your comfortable place! Jim

[Pumped]

Hey Kicks, we are planning on an addition to our home, you are sure welcome to come and help! You can freak out the neighboorhood and wear heels all the time during construction! I can see you on the roof laying shingles in a pair of stilettos!

[ilikekicks]

No roofs for me. I ( supposedly ) just do walls and floors. I do very minimal carpentry and masonry work. I know quite a few plumbers and electricians so.. I stick with what I know Where in the States are you from?

[Pumped]

No roofs for me. I ( supposedly ) just do walls and floors. I do very minimal carpentry and masonry work. I know quite a few plumbers and electricians so.. I stick with what I know

Where in the States are you from?

Midwest. About 150 miles south of Canadian border. I prefer to keep some anonymity.

[ilikekicks]

Sorry I never posted the the finished pictures or updated this.. They still need to do some paintwork.. everything else is done outside of the window trim. Not bad.. a whole re-done bathroom with plumbing, heated tile floor, electrical work.. less then 2000$ USD.

[beepy]

Very nicely done ILK. Projects like that are always about attention to detail.

[ilikekicks]

Very nicely done ILK. Projects like that are always about attention to detail.

NO SHIT!

Im going to have another project with them. If anyone cares to look at the last pictures I posted, when the house was built the people whom did the walls in the house stopped about 8 inches from the floor. They didnt go all the way down to the floors and used the baseboards to cover the openings. Thats how houses used to be built as it allowed access to the electrical wiring that was all wound on porcelain/ceramic posts. It was usually a thin wire wrapped in some form of asbestos. Both the wiring and asbestos are now illegal to use or even repair according to the building codes in my area.

The WHOLE upstairs is painted that fugly dark green color as well.

So.. Im going to get the crew together and the sledge hammers and take out ALL the walls. The wall behind the toilet in the room behind it is already out. Needed to take it out to replace the drain and air vent.

Theres 4 rooms in the upstairs and a hallway. The rooms are like 14x16 each and the ceilings arent angled so they can be done very easily.

I just need to see if any of the carpenters I know will be around to do the trim work and what they would want to do it. Trying to keep costs down. I think I can get the whole thing done for under 4000$ with all the finish work and labor included. Should only take a day to knock out all the plaster and boarding, a day to throw up the new drywall and the finishing/taping I can do on my own.

I need to price out pre-hung doors as I didnt include them in the estimate as I normally dont do any work at all on them ( thus the carpenter is needed ).

Feels good to be working again.

[ilikekicks]

Carpenter friend came in and ( literally ) tore out a bay-window in one of the upstairs bedrooms. Their grandaughter is coming this spring to live with them to go to College ( University to those across the pond See! Im catching on! ). Once the new window is in, Myself and a friend will be re-finishing the whole room in a ' baby pastel purple ' color with Oil-Based Gloss finish on all the woodwork. Going with horse-hair plaster on this one, not drywall as plaster stop sound a whole lot better then drywall. College student probably has an ipod, computer and stereo of sorts.. heaven forbid she brings a ' partner ' home.. The part scaring me is theres a real 2inch board floor under this rug. I was told the rug has been in that room for 30+ years.. I dunno what the floor is going to look like under it. Might have to put a new one in. 2 cool things though! 1- The lady of the house wants to take me shopping as I refuse to take her cash. Shes buying the material and paying my friend for his labor/time. 2- The ' In-laws ' or wife's family has no concerns at all about what I put on my feet now. They have all gotten over that whole initial shock ( if thats what one wants to call it ) and see nothing wrong at all. From what I was told, one of the uncles was speaking to Darians mother and the young guy ( Damian ) actually stated he might want to try a pair of heels sometime just to see if he can maneuver in them.

[HenriHH]

Why didn't you say the crew would be in heels? I would have volunteered. Henri

[Curt]

Damian is going to try heels after all this? Cool! I wish others in my family would do that. They hate my red carpet type look. Of well. Ash

[ilikekicks]

Why didn't you say the crew would be in heels? I would have volunteered.

Henri

Such a job will destroy about any footware. Not worth wasting good heels on.

Damian is going to try heels after all this? Cool! I wish others in my family would do that. They hate my red carpet type look. Of well.

Ash

Red carpet? Really? You wear Dior gowns and CL shoes?

My co-worker ( of sorts ) was there at 5am. he already has the new windows coated BennyMoore Oil based high gloss and the first coat of that pastel purple on the walls. Still dont know what were going to do with the floors.. the rug is half torn out ( so we could see what it looked like.. ).

Color looks odd in this pic. The camera I used has some issues. Wont keep the time and date, wont save settings for manual operation.. technology just sux0rz!

[beepy]

Light sanding, 3 coats of poly on those floors. Of course I can't see the details and structure. Looking good otherwise.

[ilikekicks]

Done. I love the color! We wound up using Murphys oil soap on the floor and cleaned out all the mold and built up dirt. An associate of mine is going to run a belt sander over the whole room and refinish the boards that are already in place as they are fine. The floor stayed dry and theres no damage to them. Im snagging a couple gallons of that color for my own home.

[Jimnj3]

Have to say the room turned out great and the floor looks real good. Much better than the crappy green I believe it was. The relatives should be very happy! Jim

[beepy]

Love the warm color of that floor contrasted with the paint colors.