Excuses for men wearing heels

[new_look]

thought this deserved its own thread as its cropping up in lots of different postings. Having read some suggestions that people give medical reasons, eg the doctor told me to wear higher heels to help my bad back etc. I remember once reading an article where a lad was born witth some condition which is a similar symptom to the shortened tendon,ie hard/painful to walk flat footed but ok when arched. The hospital was to make some specialist heeled shoes for the condition, but because of the custom requirements etc, they were too be very expensive, therefore the fella just bought womens heels to solve the problem. daz

[mk4625]

If someone said that he wears women's shoes to get sexually excited, then that would be a good enough excuse for me.

[hoverfly]

Why do you have to have an excuse to wear them?

[Heelfan]

WELL DONE MK. Yours is not an excuse, it's a proper honest REASON! I can't be doing with dishonest excuses ("I'm buying these for my wife"/"My doctor says I must always wear high heels"/"I'm just wearing them to raise money for charity"/"They help my back"/"They were a present from someone and it would be rude not to wear them"/"I'm only stretching them for my girlfriend"/"I'm only wearing 4" stilettos for the next twelve months to settle a bet" etc. etc.) and I don't think this forum should be encouraging dishonesty anyway. Also, ultimately it doesn't do the street-heeling guy any favours either, because it just perpetuates him having to live-out a lie and to creep around society as an ashamed coward. Once you have told people a lie (which they will almost certainly see through anyway!), you can never, ever find it easy to correct things by telling them the truth. Much better to tell them the truth straight away and have done with it. Believe me, they will respect you much more for being open and frank and socking it to them in a clear voice, than for looking all devious and shifty and mumbling one of the above highly implausible excuses. Arguably, best of all is DON'T FEEL YOU HAVE TO EXPLAIN AT ALL - simply wear your heels with the utmost confidence and assurance and always keeping a pleasant, confident smile on your face. Never, ever be furtive! However, you may still worry about what to say if someone at work or socially asks you a direct question about your high heels, and find it comforting to be ready with some well-prepared remark. In that case, MK's recommended "I wears women's shoes to get sexually excited" is the most honest and frank answer I've ever seen on these Forums, or anywhere else come to that. But if you can't bring yourself to be quite so commendably explicit, why not at least settle for one of these frank alternatives: 1. "Quite honestly, I like the feel of a heel under me" 2. "Well, men's styles are just so unutterably boring!" 3. "To me, heeled shoes just look great and feel great" 4. "I think modern fashion benefits from guys in heels and well co-ordinated clothes" 5. "Every other accessory and adornment has already become unisex and finally it's the turn of high heels" 6. "If they're OK for Louis The Fourteenth, The Beatles, Frank Sinatra, David Bowie, Jonathen Ross, Sven Ericson, (or add other names), they're OK for me" 7. "I'm not gay or anything, but I just like them - simple as that!" 8. "There are now masses of guys with such tastes, and one website alone has about 1,000 members" (I usually mention Firefox's and Megaforums) 9. The classic "We can't let the girls have all the fun!" 10. Some might prefer the mind-your-own-business approach by retorting "Do I quiz you about your ear-rings/tattoo/long hair/floral shirt" etc. etc., but personally I think aggression is too defensive and only sours relations. Say any of these loud and clear with a confident smile and it works wonders! You've "told it like it is" and you can thenceforth strut your stuff around your office or factory or social club or bar or wherever with full confidence and piece-of-mind, just like Firefox and Jeff already do. Jeff has posted many times when he has received compliments on his colourful high heeled pumps for the girls at work, but people will be scared to even mention your shoes to you if you are creeping around looking forever embarrassed and ashamed of them. Openess and honesty are the keys to peace-of-mind and social acceptance! Abolish silly excuses and give good, solid REASONS! Any more good REASONS that you can suggest folks? Cheerfully yours, Heelfan

[unknown]

Heelfan wins with points 3 and 7.

[FGWJON]

while working at pewsey two weeks ago:wearing 3" blade heel knee high suede boots under my work trousers,good looking 30 something female approaches,notices the heels,conversation as follows: glf:whose boots are you wearing? me:what do you mean? glf:surely they aren't yours? me:well they are on my feet glf:yes but they are women's boots me:no they are definately mine glf:yes but..........why are you wearing them? me: because i don't think your boots would fit me,(looking down as i say this at a rather nice pair of black leather knee high wedge boots but seeming to have a rather minute heel height maybe a inch & a half)what size are you? glf:if you must know i am a seven me;well your safe then,you can keep those glf;you're strange me:whatever glf:it's not normal me:well define normal to me,if normal means being boring then i will stay strange glf:(starting to laugh)well fair play to you mate, goes away to get her train same lady came back two days later with what i could only describe as sheer delight on her feet,another pair of knee high boots with 4 1/2 inch tapering block heel & small platform sole, maybe an inch thick.She made a point of showing off these boots to me saying"couldn't be outdone by a bloke" my response was "well i can't wear anything too outrageous at the moment,I am after all at work"

[Heelfan]

All extremely well said Jon! I always thoroughly enjoy such conversatations with people, especially ladies. At the end of the day, it's NICE to be noticed, and if you can quickly break-down some prejudices/ignorance whilst we're at it (as you did!), then so much the better. Also, your first encounter obviously brought out the competitive spirit in her leading to sexier heels - absolutely GREAT! Good fun and a great report! Sorry you couldn't make it to the last (Birmingham) Heel-Meet because of your wife's illness, but I hope she's better now. The Tidings of the Season to both of you! Cheerfully yours, Heelfan

[PJ]

Simply put, I do it to stimulate myself usually as a prelude to ......

[KrisS]

Like Jon, I used the same reason recently. I bought a pair of 2 inch, block heeled, T strapped thong sandals this summer. I got up the nerve to go for a walk one summer afternoon on a side street in downtown Toronto. I hadn't gone far when my cell phone rang. I stepped off the curb between two parked cars to be less obvious. As a lady went by she exclaimed, "What's that?" I hung up and said, "What?" she said, "Aren't those women's shoes?" "No, they're mine." "But aren't they women's?" "No they're mine." Then the isuue of men's or women's became unimportant when she asked if they were comfortable, she couldn't wear them (too high at 2 inches!), did I wear them a lot etc. Then she just walked away. It seemed once she was over the idea of it being different than the norm, it wasn't a concern for her. I must admit, it was a thrill being "caught". Kris.

[PJ]

KrisS; Downtown Toronto? That was very bold of you. I would have chosen a suburb like Scarborough or Missassauga. Did you do this at night? On the weekend?

[TallSwede]

-Even as I *do* have a medical reason (MB Bechterew) for beginning to use high heels, I still only tell close friends (and doctors, obviously) about that part about myself. I find it more fun to verbally "chain saw" anyone trying to pester me about my shoes, more or less nicely depending on the conversations outcome. -As I see it has nobody the right to take offence to my clothing (I am not running around nude...), so the other one by default is on the wrong side in any discussion that occurs... -Just my opinion, TallSwede

[Firefox]

In a way I wish more women would ask about my boots but I tend to blend in I suppose, even though I don't wear overly long trousers. As for excuses, who needs them? People need excuses for doing something vaguely wrong. Get into the habit of shameless self expression. There's no excuse for anything else after the years of encouragement there's been this board. Everytime you start making excuses or apologies, you're actually pushing back the ideas of general freedom of choice for guys in fashion. This is because the onlooker may percieve subconciously that you are actually breaking some rules because of your need to explain. By just carrying it off naturally you are subconciously saying "This is a new style".

[KrisS]

PJ, It was mid afternoon on a weekday and it is interesting you know Toronto. Scarborough can be a bit tough and "red neck" so I didn't want to attract any hassle there and Mississauga, although very ethnic, is also conservative so it might be hard to blend there. I chose downtown, mid day, mid week, because in that area there is a very large gay population and Toronto is a very open minded city. I figured everything is more accepted in this part of town. Twice when I've gone into shoes stores and while just looking at a nice pair of stilettos, the clerk asked if I would like to try anything on. Was I that obvious? I said yes both times. I've walked the side streets many times but cannot quite make it all the way out onto Yonge Street. Although I do want to blend in, it's such a thrill when people notice. Kris.

[new_look]

i know what we encourage and i agree we dont need excuses. i was simply commenting on a story i once read, apparently true.

[JCinHeels]

last time someone asked me why i wore heels, i simply asked them, why not?

[onyourtoes]

Actually, what I say if someone asks me came from a woman I work with. Nobody at work has ever questioned my shoes though some of the women have complimented me on them occasionally. I don't wear anything really high or feminine -- mostly wide heels. She was across the room talking with a girlfriend of hers that had dropped in. I came back to my desk wearing some very masculine brown boots with thick lug soles -- it had snowed recently -- oh, and 3 1/2 inch chunky heels. I saw the visitor gesture towards me and she said something I couldn't hear, but I heard the answer: "No, nothing like that, he just likes to wear them." I guess that's my excuse -- I LIKE to wear them.

[verngentleheels]

"I like to wear them" - that says it all! A-men and pass the plate!

[Robert]

Equality of men and women is what women stand for regarding work and income. Women want to be treated the same as men. Pants and trousers are common on women. When I look in offices I see women (almost) dressed in the same black suits as men with sometimes the same flat shoes but more shiny than men's shoes but also the higher heels are seen often. There was an item on Dutch TV last week about make-up for men and there was explained how to put it on. A salesman said he experienced it as a revolution nowadays that there was make-up for men. We men should say we want equality of men and women because of the clothes we want to choose and wear. And - at least for me - especially the shoes. Robert

[new_look]

an addition to what robert said above, men and womens equality and rights is basically a stand out by a few groups of women, fighting to get the same and more than men, and in most areas already succeed. This is proved by the fact that it is ok for women o wear what they please and look in the direction of a man, but if a man sways the same way and displays feminine items, he is branged gay or metrosexual, and people assume it is out of the norm. Why is it ok for women to look like men but men cant look as women. Similar thing in the section not so long ago about telling your girlfriend etc, and there was loads of threads saying that the guy should accept whether his girlfriend chooses to accept him or not. I mean cmon, when do we EVER have to accept a woman for what she chooses to wear. Equality to me spells give more rights to women

[xaphod]

Daz, I believe the expression is 'let's share .... what's yours is ours and what's mine is mine'. Xa

[new_look]

very well summed up

[coolshoes]

I had a woman in her twenties sum it all up to her satisfaction. She said, "If a woman wears men's clothes, she wears them as a woman. But, if a man wears women's clothes, he is somehow trying to be a woman." To which I replied, "So, it is impossible for a man to wear a piece of women's clothes and still be a man, but a woman is a woman no matter what she wears?" She answered, "that's right." Several other women standing around listening to the exchange nodded in agreement.

[Bubba136]

Daz wrote:

I mean cmon, when do we EVER have to accept a woman for what she chooses to wear.

There are three (perhaps some can think of more) scenarios in play here:

1. You like to wear heels and are pursuing the affections of a beautiful girl. She kinda likes you. And, because, you want to build any future relationship you might have together on total honesty, you will explain to her that you are a high heel advocate and like to wear them. Avoid surprises that may pop up way down the line after your relationship is complicated by the appearance of two or three children. She has a choice. Continue the relationship and let it lead to where ever it is going, or reevaluate her feelings based on compltet information and pursue other suitors.

2. Turn the tables. You get married and have children. After 7 or 8 years, she tells you that she used to be a hooker and still goes out on odd evenings and makes a few bucks to get some of the extra things she wants because most of your paycheck goes to paying bills, and covering normal living expenses. Any surprise on your part? Being completely honest with yourself, would this revelation change your feelings for her in anyway? Suppose she had mentioned her street walking to you before you got married. Would you still have married the woman?

3. You confess to your wife of 8 or 9 years that you like to wear high heels. She’s shocked at this revelation on two fronts. One, that you have hidden this personality deviation from her. Two, you built your entire relationship on “incomplete” information – information that, had she known beforehand, would have made the difference between her accepting or not accepting your advances. Thirdly, what else have you not told her?

Believe me, I’ve talked with quite a few men that have revealed personality quirks after the fact only to have the door slammed in their face as the wife walked out. Three rations of misery later, after the guy has lost his wife, his house, his children, not to mention more than half of his income, he says: “I wish I had told her before we got married.”

You can kick this subject around anyway you want to. But, recovering from a broken heart is really difficult. And, no matter to what degree you actually believe you can “change” by quitting or not participating in your illicit habit, after a few weeks, months, years of total misery, you will succumb to the most powerful urges known to man. And, sooner or later, because you can’t hide it forever, she will “discover” your secret. And, then the trouble, problems, regrets, remorse, anguish, etc., begins. Your life has been forever altered and she will never view you in the same way again. Because, in your mind, you’ll always imagine that whenever she looks at you she will see an image that isn’t particularly flattering, that of a man she loved admired and completely adored, wearing high heels as well as a man that allowed her to build her relationship by being totally dishonest.

As the old saying goes. If the shoe fits, wear it. Or, in this case, it’s your choice. Do whatever you think is right or what you can get away with.

[Francis]

Excuses? Do you really need an excuse? They're my shoes and I wear them !

[new_look]

to bubba re above, i agree fully, and was not disputing the fact that we should tell our partners first. I simply meant (with the line that you quoted) from the thread of telling your gf where the chaps girlfriend said she wasnt accepting him in womens shoes etc, women never have to be judged or accepted my their bloke what they choose to wear. Why shouldnt it be the same for men. Brings us back to what i said about equality, and its about as far from equal as we can get, as it just favours women. Also re wehat coolshoes posted on a womans opinion of the women wearing mens clothes etc, i think its a prime example. I wouldve been the first to ask about where the equality was there. Obviously a case of closed minded people as firefox would put it! daz

[Bubba136]

I understand what you're trying to say, Daz. But, life "ain't" fair. Society is complicated. Life is complicated. It will be "awhile" before women completely accept men wearing women's clothes. Hey, it's just the natue of things.

[new_look]

i know and it can put you down at times too. I dont see how it has to be that way

[Anita C.]

Honesty . . . above all honesty! Starting with yourself! Why DO you want to wear a skirt out in public? Because you like it? Are you a crossdresser? Better prepare yourself for these questions as well as to how you are going to answer them! Second, are you prepared for the reaction of people with whom this action will offend? How will YOU deal with the confrontation? Type of skirt is a matter of preference as is wearing heels. Please, for GODS' SAKE, do NOT go out with the MAJOR misconception you won't be approached/confronted! You WILL! At the bar I entertain at there is a gent who comes in in traditional Scottish regalia. Kilt, knee sox with brogans (wingtip shoes), bloused top and tam-0-shanter. We have all come to accept him as he is and it has been ongoing for so long that it is now a non-issue. There is also the occassional crossdresser-no biggie either. The more you go out the easier it will become. "The longest journey in the world starts with the first step in the right direction." Honesty . . . Cheers! :drinking:

[Anita C.]

How about the obvoius reason and most honest. Now repeat after me " B E C A U S E I E N J O Y I T ! " said with sincerity and conviction and not caring what others will think while looking directly into the eyes.

[Firefox]

Anita is dead right. If the 10% or so of men who wanted to experiment with various types of fashion were honest, and went out and did so, there would be so many doing it that it would be a non issue within 24 hours. In actual fact, you don't need any excuse for wearing heels, but you need a pretty good explanation for sitting in a closet and whinging about your "luck"