Crabbit's Adventures

[Shafted]

It even gives one a great deal of control of the situation by outing one's self.

[CRabbit]

It took over a month, but I finally got around to 'outing' myself at work, even though I've been wearing my heels in my private office for over 6 months now without anyone noticing. I'm glad to say that my colleague didn't make any big deal about my heeling preferences before the holidays and thankfully left the ball in my court regarding making it public knowledge. Anyway, it started with me catching my boss after work on Tuesday for a private chat where I asked him if he had any personal or professional objections to me wearing less 'conventional' footwear to work, and showed him print-outs of the news articles that had come up in the press late last year which talk about the increase of men wearing high heels. At first he thought I was taking the piss (which I expected he would), but I reassured him that I was genuine in my desire. After a few quick questions, he told me he had no personal reservations but would give it more thought. This morning my boss returned after thinking it through and told me that, though he has no objections personally, he thinks it may be inappropriate attire for the office, especially when we have visitors to the office (Clients/etc) who may take my dress sense the wrong way. That said, he suggests I speak with the company director if I'm serious about it all, as he might come up with a solution that would suite everybody. I honestly expected to be told it was inappropriate office attire anyway, either from the boss or other members of staff, and since my aim isn't to ruffle feathers here I would gladly keep my high-heel affairs private if that was to everyone's best interests. What do you guys think? Did I go about this the right way? Chris P.S. Little background on my employers. It's an IT consultancy firm in the machine automation sector. About 15employees + bosses with many being out of the office for weeks on end at the client's location. Very much a 'family' type of feel to the company.

[Shafted]

I think you handled it very well CRabbit. Your boss is quite right at this point in time to have some apprehension about you wearing heels to work. But relegating you heeling to privacy is a little extreme. Just no heels at work. That's all.

[CRabbit]

Thanks for your reply Shafted. By 'Private' I meant behind the closed door of my office, though now something has been said and an unofficial opinion made, I think perhaps keeping it away from work all together would be the safest option now. Thanks again.

[Slides 'n Heels]

I think it was the right way to ask your boss. Because company rules, whether or not they are formal or informal culture, can't be ignored. And with asking him, you showed respect for that. Whatever the outcome may be.

[Pumps]

I've read the whole thread today and I must say you're an inspiration, as you have gone further than me. I think you handled it well. I would never expect my boss to let me wear heels at work, if at work was somewhere clients and suppliers were coming around. You have to consider how their image of the company might change. I once wore a kilt to work, after I had been visiting Scotland. I told my boss that I would change if he was uncomfortable. He told me he didn't mind, even when a supplier came by, so I wore the kilt all day. The last 2 weeks I have been wearing my ancle boots to work, but I change into safety-shoes at work, so it isn't an issue, but as Shafted say it prepares them for a potential meet off work. Nobody has commented on them, though.

[roniheels]

As far as I'm concerned you handled the situation perfectly. And I think your boss responded to you in an honest and professional manner. Your boss sounds like a very level-headed person.

[Gudulitooo]

I have never tried to wear heels at work, but I should say that I never had the idea to sought for my bosses' opinion. My plans were more to find "wearable" shoes such as cowboy boots, and only be a little taller with a rock'n'roll look, (I still have to find the shoes). Your approach is surprinsingly interesting, reporting the responsibily on your boss. Note that I wonder if women that wants to wear 5" platforms have similar issues with their hierarchy.... A question to ask in the "for the girls" section I think. I have heard very unpleasant comments about female trainees here, such as "they walk so slow, they are not going to make it on time, etc." or "she is going to loose balance and drop this precious item she carries", said behind their back when they wear very high heels.... by both male and female coworkers. Or often only looks and judging side glances that I hate. For me this behaviour is found everywhere and not only related to wearing heels...

[Gudulitooo]

An update to what I said previously. I was used to park the car a bit before arriving at work to swap to "normal" shoes. This morning I parked the car a bit before arriving to swap to heeled shoes... How strange isn't it ? I am at work right now with a brand new pair of heels on, ok they are not stiletto pumps, only cowboy boots with very low 2" chunky heel, but still very fine compared to men shoes. And as I am already tall, my colleagues can't miss them, though I assume the ratio of the heel height to my size makes the heel look small. My boss didn't say anything.

[CRabbit]

I figured I was well overdue for an update here. Since talking with the boss & director and getting a polite "It's not fit for the office" response, I've kept it out of the office. For the most part at least. Earlier this week I had to run over to PCWorld and pick up a replacement printer for home, as the one I had was well past defunct at least a year ago. My 5inch heeled courts (and tights!) went on before I left work Monday night and off I went in my typical work attire (shirt/pants) plus heels. Annoyingly the 'all singing - all dancing' printer I'd set my mind on was out of stock when I went to make my purchase, though the staff were nice and friendly and no-one said anything regarding my shoes. They offered to call me when one came in and I handed over my details before leaving. Feeling a little let down by not spending any money, I walked down to Next and browsed their footwear department. Their current range of shoes didn't do anything for me but while I was there a young woman was trying on several pairs of heels in a long pencil skirt & matching jacket. That got me thinking and before I knew it, I was walking out of the store with a very nice, simple black pencil skirt that ends just below the knee. I'd never imagined wearing a skirt. The idea had never appealed to me - showing my legs off in general never appealed to me, but there I was now the proud owner of my very first skirt. Once in the car I slipped the skirt on over my pants and made the switch without anything more than my lower legs being shown, put my heels back on and drove over to the nearby part for a walk. At this point it was around 6:45 and pretty dark, the lack of lighting in the park meant I couldn't see my own outfit but then neither could anyone else. I walked around, learning how the skirt affected my stride, how to best walk in it and how cold my legs got with a stiff cold breeze before I got back in my car and headed home with noone the wiser. Wednesday afternoon I got a phone call saying the printer was in stock and ready for collection, so as I signed off for the end of the day after an hour's overtime, put my tights & knee high 4.5inch spike heeled boots on under my normal office pants and headed out of the office, only to be caught by the boss who wanted to run over some details with me. We talked for 5minutes+ before saying goodbye, all the time he was completely unaware that I was in heels. I was half tempted to make them noticed since he'd said it was inappropriate for work yet didn't notice while stood right next to me! Amused by that brief encounter I got into my car and slipped straight into my skirt then drove over to PCWorld trying to find the courage to simply get out of the car in my skirt and boots. Having done the 'first public appearance' in heels less than a year ago, I remembered how i got myself over the initial terrifying ordeal of stepping out into public, so I just went for it. It was dark out but there were quite a few people coming and going around the retail park so I would be noticed. I was conscious that I'd never had my heels so fully on show before - in fact this was the second time I'd ever worn a skirt and the first time no-one (not even myself!) had seen as it was so dark. I took a few breaths, stepped out of my car, straightened my skirt, threw my bag over my shoulder and walked straight in to PCWorld. I think there was laughter from a couple of lads in a nearby car but I pretended it was directed at something else. I went up to the counter in PCWorld and told the girl there that a printer had been reserved for me. She seemed well composed considering what I was wearing - I had expected her to immediately start uncontrollable fits of laughter as I strolled in. She had noticed the moment I'd made eye contact with her from a distance but beyond a smile she didn't act like she noticed. It wasn't long before I had my printer carried over to me by one of the staff and having paid while I waited, I was somewhat eager to go. Thankfully, the guy carrying the printer offered to help me out to my car with it, which I was more than glad for the help as I hadn't thought about carrying a printer in a long tight skirt and heels! As I directed him back to my car a group of youths drove past and shouted "Tranny!" out of their car window and sped off. I didn't flinch though I suspect the expression on my face changed. After helping me get the printer into my car, the guy smiled and said "Don't let those neanderthals get you down, you don't look half bad. Take care!" I kind of just stood there in shock as he walked off. I got back into my car and spent a moment just realizing exactly what he had said before I set off for the direction of home with a grin on my face and a printer on the back seat! I'm not sure how far I'm going to take my skirt wearing. I honestly didn't feel comfortable being in public in my skirt and I think that could be seen in my expression. It felt great but I don't think I'll do it again in a hurry. The boots though, I'm hoping to get some wear out of them over the weekend Right, I best stop ranting and get some work done. Chris

[SleekHeels]

For sure a skirt is a great way to show off a nice pair of heels. That knee-length pencil skirt sounds like a very stylish look and must be pretty smart with your court shoes and your boots. For your walk in the park were your tights sheer or opaque? I've worn a skirt with opaque tights and court shoes once, and a dress with leggings and knee-high boots another time. I will eventually try a skirt with sheer tights probably with boots first and then with courts. I've heard some women say that they feel very self-conscious wearing a skirt so they almost always prefer to wear trousers now, so feeling uncomfortable isn't exclusively a guy thing. It'd be a shame not to wear the fashions we choose just because of a narrow-minded minority who act negatively. It was great that the sales assistant treated you as a regular customer, and the encouraging remark from the guy who carried the printer to your car was fantastic! Whether it's with a skirt or trousers, keep enjoying your heels.

[roniheels]

I'm not sure how far I'm going to take my skirt wearing. I honestly didn't feel comfortable being in public in my skirt and I think that could be seen in my expression. It felt great but I don't think I'll do it again in a hurry. The boots though, I'm hoping to get some wear out of them over the weekend

The key here is comfort. I applaud you for trying something different because you liked the look and wanted to enjoy the experience. But as I have told some who say they are uncomfortable wearing high heels in public, if you are really "uncomfortable" doing something, don't do it. There is no pressure, penalty, or loss of points if you don't do it. As I said comfort and peace-of-mind is the name of the game.

[Mike Hinch]

That is interesting and some of the chapter reminds me of the earliest times that I wore skirt which is now my every day mode of dress. But there is that little thing about not trying to look not too girly. Girls wear pencil skirts and restrictive skirts. Now to date I have not posted many pictures mostly I would like mine to be sort of meaningful. The picture of me under the bonnet of the Toyota was how I dressed for that day and how I ported the new Diehard out to the parking lot. The strapy sandals fit good not wobbly and the skirt is not the least bit restrictive. So I would recommend to just get normal. That comes with practice. For me to head out in a mini skirt and stilettos is normal so I do not give it any worry but give the pencil skirt a rest and go for something more kilt looking or goth even. Any will eagerly wait for the next chapter and while I am waiting I will review the previous adventures.

[CRabbit]

Thanks for responding folks, much appreciated. I thought a fair bit about the skirt situation and after a lot time in front of a mirror I concluded that I just don't see myself in it. Though I enjoy the feeling of a pencil skirt's 'hug', it just doesn't sit well with my physique and unsightly bulges are exceedingly difficult to hide. I don't feel comfortable being seen wearing it so I'll most likely never put it on again. A shame really, but never mind. Skirts (or even shorts for that matter) have never appealed to me, so I'm unsure if I'll venture further down this path but who knows what the future will bring. As for heels, well, I don't think that will ever go away. My boots did get a little more exercise over the weekend under a pair of boot cut jeans, leather jacket and blue T, though my time was uneventful (bit of shopping, nothing very exciting at all!) Chris

[Mike Hinch]

That is quite understandable a pencil skirt is not really the beat all around style of skirt for a guy. Now it looks like your turf is in England and they have a long standing kilt tradition particularity in the northern parts. That would be a good way to go.

[MSpookshow]

Bravo on trying something new, CRabbit! I'm very impressed that you just went for it! It's too bad you didn't like the skirt, though I agree with an above poster that pencil skirts can sometimes be a bit hard for us guys to pull off. I only own one pencil skirt and I don't wear it very often. Anyhow, look forward to hearing more from you. Keep rockin' it out!

[Tech]

That is quite understandable a pencil skirt is not really the beat all around style of skirt for a guy. Now it looks like your turf is in England and they have a long standing kilt tradition particularity in the northern parts. That would be a good way to go.

England dont have ANY tradition with Kilts at all, its the Scottish, in the North of the UK, not the north of England :-)

[Walkonit]

England dont have ANY tradition with Kilts at all, its the Scottish, in the North of the UK, not the north of England :-)

Hmmmm I wonder what type of heels would go best with full Scottish traditional kilts.

Black boots with sturdy 4" heels ?

[Shafted]

Hmmmm I wonder what type of heels would go best with full Scottish traditional kilts.

Black boots with sturdy 4" heels ?

Absolutely but keep the boot shaft ankle high or lower and pair it with those traditional kneehigh scotch stockings.

[Mike Hinch]

Most of the time when I wear my kilt I wear knee-high boots. My kilt has pockets hidden in the pleats and was never intended to be a Scottish imitation of anything. Partly because I did not know how the little details of the traditional kilt worked and partly because I did design my modern day kilt for my intended purpose. So chunky heel knee-high goes well.

[CRabbit]

This weekend my Missus took our offspring over to see a friend of her's (who also has children the same age) and what started as 'an hour or so' turned into all afternoon as they decided to go shopping. Taking the moment at full speed, I set off in the opposite direction to where they were heading and did a little shopping of my own.

I just posted up a couple of pics on the 'Who has bought some new shoes' thread with a little detail behind the purchases so skip the next paragraph if you read that post already:

A week or so ago I saw a picture on here of a pair of black platform Zanotti wedges. The silhouette alone gave me the "I Must Have!" feelings, so I shopped around. I eventually found a pair in-store that I could try on (with the fear of maxxing out my credit card if I fell in love with them) and honestly, I wasn't so impressed with how they felt when I walked. It was how I imagined wearing high heels on stilts would feel. I still liked the look so I slowly narrowed my search down to more affordable prices and with the lower price came a lower platform. Eventually I settled on a pair of black suede wedges at New Look and they were the target I set off to buy. (image)

While in New Look I checked out the sales racks and fell in love with a pair of patent T-bar courts that I couldn't put down and at £10 I had to have them. (image)

By this time it was starting to get a dark and knowing my missus was still out now getting food, I took my new purchases for a walk around the park I normally frequent near work. While there, I pondered for a moment and pulled out the skirt I said I wouldn't likely wear again. The skirt and patent heels looked fantastic together with black nylons, the same can't really be said for the wedges. I must have walked around the park twice before I got the message from my wife telling me she was on her way home so I quickly set off, changing back to jeans and trainers in the car before getting home in time to put the kettle on.

While out walking, I couldn't shift the thought that I really liked how I felt in what I was wearing (even though I knew how it looked). In fact I actually realized what it was that I felt - sexy. I felt sexy in the skirt and heels. I'd never really thought about me[/] wearing heels as sexy or sexual in any way since I was a teen when the thrill was enough to warm my blood. As I drove home I considered how the outfit might look with a fitted shirt, belt and long enough jacket to cover anything that would spoil the 'fitted' look. Perhaps it wouldn't look too bad. On my next trip shopping I'll take the skirt and heels with me and try on a few shirts/etc, see if I can find a full outfit that isn't an abomination. Suddenly I find myself on the line between 'man in heels' and some blur near cross-dressing and I wonder how far that might go.

Anyway, this morning I jumped out of bed excited to get another chance to wear my new shoes and got them on as soon as I was in my car on the way to work. When I got to work, the carpark was basically empty so I headed in and got to my office without anyone seeing the shiny patent toecaps stepping out under my pants. Seeing myself in patent heels was a thrill in it's self. Here's a few pics of me lounging in my office:

(1)

(2)

(3)

(4)

Chris

[stilettopete]

I like those New Look patent t-bars. Are they a bit small-to-size?

[StockingTop]

Thank you. Enjoyed your 'adventures', you're very brave.

[CRabbit]

Thanks StockingTop, @Pete, I normally take a UK 7 in shoes and a UK 8 in boots. That's pretty common across most brands and the vast majority of what I've bought from New Look in the past were size 7 and fit great - even the wedges, but the patent T-bar heels seem to be a little too snug - almost half a size smaller than they should be. I've got several shoes from other brands which fit like a glove now but were murder when I first bought them so I expect with enough wear they'll soften and fit a bit better.

[stilettopete]

Thanks CR... I'm also a UK7 and have no problems at all re sizing with the exception of my New Look mary jane stiletto's. 5.5" and hidden platform. A beautiful shoe and one of my favourites but I really struggled to wear them initially. Especially the left foot which was very tight. Ouch! I have persevered and they're okay now. They have stretched a little. And I've lost a bit of weight so I figure that has helped. Regards SP

[skirtedvik]

While there, I pondered for a moment and pulled out the skirt I said I wouldn't likely wear again. The skirt and patent heels looked fantastic together with black nylons, the same can't really be said for the wedges. I must have walked around the park twice before I got the message from my wife telling me she was on her way home so I quickly set off, changing back to jeans and trainers in the car before getting home in time to put the kettle on.

While out walking, I couldn't shift the thought that I really liked how I felt in what I was wearing (even though I knew how it looked). In fact I actually realized what it was that I felt - sexy. I felt sexy in the skirt and heels. I'd never really thought about me[/] wearing heels as sexy or sexual in any way since I was a teen when the thrill was enough to warm my blood. As I drove home I considered how the outfit might look with a fitted shirt, belt and long enough jacket to cover anything that would spoil the 'fitted' look. Perhaps it wouldn't look too bad. On my next trip shopping I'll take the skirt and heels with me and try on a few shirts/etc, see if I can find a full outfit that isn't an abomination. Suddenly I find myself on the line between 'man in heels' and some blur near cross-dressing and I wonder how far that might go.

Adopt freestyler's ideology and forget the cross...gender biased word.

[SleekHeels]

I pondered for a moment and pulled out the skirt I said I wouldn't likely wear again. The skirt and patent heels looked fantastic together with black nylons, the same can't really be said for the wedges.

If it's quite a smart formal pencil skirt then sure that'd suit the t-bars much better. Perhaps the wedges could look great with black opaque tights and lycra skirt above the knee, something like http://www.newlook.com/shop/womens/skirts/tube-skirt_228499601

Of course they'd look great peeping out from under bootcut jeans, or maybe even skinny-jeans/leggings (which I always thought would be hideously unflattering until I tried them and surprised myself).

I've always found the staff at New Look really cool... I imagine if you wore your wedges and tights under trousers and went there some time when it's not madly busy, they'd be happy to suggest something to wear that works with the wedges and your figure.

Those t-bars look great with the smart trousers too.

[roniheels]

Those are some very pretty high heels. I hope you have fun wearing them everywhere.