just a rant

[blender]

this is just a rant just something that I need to get of my chest. Its no wonder why the world is so f***ing confused as to reasons why people wear the clothes that they do just look at the list below as to the so called different physiological reasons as to the reasons why and this is probably the tip of the iceberg. Androgyny Non-gendered Genderneutral Agendered Between genders Intergendered Bigendered Pangender genderfluid Autogynephilia Cogender Cross-dressing Crossplay Drag En femme Female masking Feminization Gender bender Genderf**k Sissy Shemale Passing Third gender Transvestism Tri-ess Transgender Trans man Trans woman Transsexual transvestism Transvestic fetishism All the above mean just two things to me and that is people are doing it for a sexual reason or they are doing it for their own reasons, but none of them as far as I’m concerned represent me. Why should there be a name for what I want to wear, why should there be a reason for what I wear apart from the fact that they are just clothes and I like clothes, simple. As long as the psychologist witch doctors probe and delve into people minds and come up with so called problems of the mind, even when they are not a problem then the small minority of us that wear the clothes that we do will always be seen as having a mental problem and this has filtered down to the population of the world who in their own uneducated and non caring world see it as just the same, but why should they learn about the reasons when all the reasons point to the same conclusion and that is that we are sexual deviants who are going to murder your grandmother on the next full moon in honour of a high heeled demon. For me who has been in so called denial for many, many years and who had suppressed my desire to wear heels and then started to try to understand the reason why I wear what I wear it all pointed to one of the above reasons and I did start to think that I was in one of the above, but it was not until I found this site that I have come to realise that clothes are just clothes and nothing more and the more I delved into the reasons the more my brain started to melt in trying to understand myself a bit better. Sorry for the long rant, feel much better now.

[Guest]

Rant? no just reflecting on the variations that many carry or is it excuses to explain? shoes are shoes, clothes are clothes. The reality is what mode is your or my brain in or wanting to be? and that opens a new can of worms................................ some people like to collect badges, be members of "in" clubs or hold titles of honour (or not) Be what and who you are when and as you wish. Al

[Bubba136]

"shoes are shoes, clothes are clothes." This is the attitude of more than 85% of the members of this forum. While there are many, many different stimuli provoking a male's desire to wear clothing that society has specifically styled toward identifying the female gender, the practice has, more likely than not, been associated with the psychologically "unbalanced" population by linking sexually stimulated crimes of the most terrible nature to individuals wearing clothing of the opposite sex. This forum currently (at the time I am typing this) has 6,661 members. Of that number, not all are men and not all of the male members desire or wear heels. There is a large number that are content to admire females that wearer heels to enhance their God given female attributes. But, given the totally of the membership (6,66l) I wonder how many are prone to committing the types of crimes that are associated with the practice of cross-dressing or wearing one or two female garments -- high heels, pantyhose, panties, etc? While there might be two or three individuals that capable of committing sexual stimulated crimes, the probabilities that they "will" is infinitesimal. A fact that is "lost" on the majority of the population currently circulating throughout the world's urban areas. Let's fact it. Those of us that do indulge in the practice of wearing high heels and other items of women's clothing, only because we "like to," have an impossible task of "retraining" attitudes that have prevailed for thousands of years. Lets face it! While we're making inroads at changing attitudes (read comments by JeffB, thighbootguy, happyfeats, et al;), we must accept the fact that total acceptance is still a "lifetime" away.

[mXa]

Remember the time when men didn't/couldn't have a pierced ear and wear an earring? Now remember what changed that: enough people doing the taboo. mXa

[yozz]

One of the problems is that there are many ways that may attract a male to female attire. Some are sexually related, some are related to perversions, but for the majority of people here I believe it has to do with the elegance of which we want to be part. This last concept seems to go straight past most journalists. The second reason I mentioned makes much more news. Assaults and murders make much more news than "elegantly dressed man in skirt and heels seen in main street". The thing that bothers me is that no journalist is willing to spend some time to really find out what is the story behind men in heels or skirts or whatever. There are so many investigative reporters, but they never really look at this. And stereotyping is so easy. When you think of it, everybody does it on a daily basis. Just not all with the same topic. Nowadays I notice a strong polarization in politics and a tendency to picture people of the wrong party as "devils who only want to ruin the country". This happens in many countries. Etc. And yes, all those considerations make that I, just as the vast majority of men, cannot go into the streets the way I would want. The pressure is enormous. Of course, you can say: "just do it anyway", but that is easier said than done. Particularly when you live in a neighborhood in which the majority of people are retired and more than a bit traditional. Yet I hope that sooner or later I can break through it all. Maybe it will remain a dream forever. But at least I will go in the street with moderate heels and enjoy that. My rant contribution Y.

[Dawn HH]

Yes, I am retired, but no, I am not a traditionalist. I have many times worn heels in public in both enfemme and in male mode. All of this acceptance may not occur within my lifetime, but I would like to feel that I have contributed my share towards the acceptance of men wearing heels in public at anytime, anywhere, and while doing any activity that they choose. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[Histiletto]

There are labels for all the thoughts and actions that go against the social standards. Many of these labels are from improperly understanding who people really are. Women have grown up in a world where they have been objects to be attained by men. Before the women's liberation movement came into prominance, they were taught in the ways men expected women should fulfill their usefullness. Now that women have better positions in society and are finding ways around the subserviancy of a male dominated world, their teachings are more for their self-preservation than the dutiful partner in a traditional family setting. Many men are having a hard time adjusting to this liberated attitude and therefore, still consider the female person as their possession instead of a partner once the vows are formed, such as going steady or even into marriage. The problem with this liberation is that men and women haven't re-evaluated the understanding of who people really are. They continue to hold on to the idea that gender is determined by one's reproductive equipment. There are so many examples of women having masculine tendencies and men exhibiting their feminine desires, that it boggles the thinking minds that society can't understand this concept. Then again, there are the societal deviance labels that support the misunderatanding of such actions and thoughts and justify the continual rejection of this being part of the whole human identity. Just look around you and you can see the contradictions to our social standards. The obvious one being this forum. How about the mr. moms, the women business leaders, the male nurses, women doctors, male chefs, girl mechanics, and/or etc. For any position or service a male or female can achieve, there are those of the other sex doing the same thing. I'd like to address the transgender idea if I may. Everybody has the same abilities and desires that have been molded or achieved by the person they are. With society's forbidance to portray who they are, if it doesn't go along with the stereotypical standards, I can see why some feel they have to pursue a change in their physical appearance. What if they felt comfortable in being theirselves without taking such drasitic and even expensive measures? This can be a logical result, when society revamps its attitude concerning the gender identity issue. For those that still feel the need to pursue the paths of SRS, the technology to enhance or change one's appearance has helped some to embrace who they are or want to become. Who knows some day this technology will be developed enough for a male to breast feed his children or even give birth by a cesarean section. Alright mothers, wipe the smile off because you believe that males couldn't handle or are incapable of such an experience, especially for nine months. Within the expectation of the sex reassignment surgery this is more of a possibility and eventually it could become a reality. The morality factor is against it, but given the enlightenment of gender identity, even this is definitely a personal choice and not a societal concern.

[Dawn HH]

Histiletto:-) Now THATS a rant for sure. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[Histiletto]

Shuckins' Dawn HH. I just had it in me and all at once, it was posted. I'll try to be more aggressive next time and say what I think. Did it hurt or help? Cheers right back at cha.

[BobHH]

My rant: The whole of Western society and tradition reinforces the stereotypes of male and female dress and behavior. Photos taken at the Academy Awards show the men all in black, many tuxedos, like penguins in uniforms, while the women are in bright, colorful gowns, standing out like flowers. The women are dressed to attract attention and made up and hairstyled to attract attention of both men and women. It's not only facial makeup, but body tan, shapely legs, shapely hands and feet, manicures and pedicures, finger and toenail polish also are there to enhance femininity and attraction. A current newspaper and magazine ad shows a little girl in her mother's high heels, looking down at the shoes. You don't see ads showing little boys in their mother's high heels. Females are raised practically from birth to fulfill the stereotyped roles. The whole fashion industry lives to reinforce those roles, as does the beauty supply industry. Females are raised to be sexually attractive, for the most part, though few will admit it. The western standards of beauty are largely to attract males, though. High heels with their impracticality hobble the women from activity, a sort of bondage in a way, making them perhaps more vulnerable and are often designed to enhance sexuality as perceived by many. Why else would strippers wear stripper shoes? Men are supposed to be practical, strong, rugged, manly, plainly or severely dressed or at least not very colorful or adorned. Ready to handle any physical situation at any time, not emotional. They are to run things and protect the frail females. And where has that gotten us? If a female dresses too revealingly, she has crossed a decency line that denies the real purpose of the dressing in the first place. If she exposes herself, she is rarely arrested, but those who aid or abet the situation are punished (remember wardrobe malfunctions?). If a man exposes himself, he is a sex criminal and can be expected to be arrested and tarred with that label for life. Men are largely the aggressors in relationships, especially sexual relationships. Most violent sexual crimes (rapes) are committed by men. Men tend to be more aggressive in sex drive than most women and are taunted by fashions and behaviors which are designed to stimulate them, but sex is not available to many, especially if they are not studly or confident enough to attract females. Thus, we have sex crimes in societies in which there is no acceptable substitute. Why are men attracted to high heels? Who knows, except shoes are articles of clothing that everyone wears, are quite different than flat shoes, and are flaunted about by women who know they attract men. Shoes are, I think, more different from flats to heels than clothes are from pants to skirts or dresses because they cause people to walk differently, they reshape the feet and legs, and are used seductively by many young women. They are so different that many men attracted to them want to experience that difference and feel what it is like to wear high heels. And maybe feel what it is like to play attractive in that way. And many like it when they try, like us, and would like to experience that often and in everyday roles, not just hiding in the home, ashamed to be found out. My beautiful wife liked to be sexy, wear high heels, makeup, etc. But she is gone these eight plus years. She understood and supported my high heel wearing, as did/does a sort of ex girlfriend. But my current sort-of-girl-friend is young enough to be my granddaughter, is a tomboy who doesn't wear makeup or polish or even lipstick, has her hair cut very short, and wears jeans most of the time, and doesn't know about my heels. But she seems to like being with me, and that counts for a lot. End of rant.

[Puffer]

... This forum currently (at the time I am typing this) has 6,661 members. Of that number, not all are men and not all of the male members desire or wear heels. There is a large number that are content to admire females that wearer heels to enhance their God given female attributes. ...

Gosh, 6,661! The number of the beast tenfold and one for luck! There must be some sort of message there. But I guess it is now academic as the complement of the 'extended coven' will since have changed.

Alas, there are still many of the unenlightened who would regard females in heels (let alone males) as having anything but God-given attributes.

Let us now pray for their souls (and soles) ...

[Bubba136]

..... Nowadays I notice a strong

polarization in politics and a tendency to picture people of the wrong party as "devils who only want to ruin the country".

Hmmmmm Wonder which party is the "wrong" party

Reminds me of the old joke....two blonds on a picnic at a lake in their local area. One of the blonds decided to take a walk. After a while, the other decided to join the first blond. She walked to the edge of the lake where she spied the first blond walking along the opposite shore line. The second blond shouted across the lake to the first blond: "How do I get to the other side?" The first blond responded: "What a silly question1 You are on the other side......"

[Puffer]

I like Bubba's blonde story; it has a certain perverse logic.

Almost the same situation occurred in real life some years ago when a business colleague with me was talking to a customer on the phone. The customer was commenting that he would do more business with us if only we were not so far away. George's immediate response was that it was the customer who was far away, not us. There was a moment's silence - and the customer then apologised and said that George was, of course, correct. And we did, as I recall, get a greater amount of business from him afterwards!

[Dawn HH]

Histiletto:-) I thought you expressed what you had in mind very well indeed. Enjoy reading your posts. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[tiffany]

clothes are just clothes

oh so true!

[roniheels]

My mother wore high heels all of the time when I was young. All of her female friends wore high heels. I thought my mom and her friends looked so pretty, especially when they wore high heels. It was nothing sexual or psychological, I thought the shoes were pretty and people who wore them were pretty. I wore my mom's high heels all of the time when I was young because I wanted to look pretty lioke them. I never did cross-dress in female attire. I wore my mom's high heels with my male clothes. I grew up in a small town. If my classmates knew I wore high heels, no telling what would have happened to me or my family. When I went off to college, I went to a large city and that was also the time when (disco) high heels were the fashion for both men and women, a great time. It was just the attraction and enjoyment of wearing high heels, nothing more. I've even argued through posts here that for me I really don't feel it is or has been a fetish, just fashion. I can only speak for myself and I've always been sort of a rebel. But also like so many here have stated I am so happy to have found this site and see so many, especially men, who enjoy wearing high heels.