Early Life Experiences

[Regen]

I'm wondering if early life experiences such as trying on your mom's high heels when you were younger helped or drew you to wear high heels (plus other things). Since we are such a small group of people who like specific things that are most certainly not normal for most of society, taboo, or whatever you wanna call it, I figure that I would try and find out why our likes for these items came to be. I feel that for many of us, these likes started at a young age. I for one am one of those early ones. I remember when I was a little child (around 7) that I really liked watching in fascination all of the girls and women wearing high heels. I always wondered what it felt like to walk in them. One day I got a chance to try on my mom's high heel sandals only to find out that they were clearly too big for me. I was probably a size 4 or 5 US Woman's when I was 7 while my mom was a size 9. So I didn't get much of the real thing. I still liked watching the girls wearing their pretty high heels and always wanted in on the action. Of course, I was well aware of the public stigma even when I was 7 so I never confronted anyone about it. The years passed and every now and then I would sneak into my mom's bedroom when she wasn't home and I would try on a pair of her heels. By this time, I was starting to have large feet and growing relatively tall. I went through a large growth spurt around 12 or 13 where my shoe size grew from a men's 9 to a men's 11 (12 in womans). From that point on, I knew that my foot would never go into mom's close toed boots ever again. However, since my foot was relatively narrow (and still is today), I was still able to fit relatively easily into my mom's high heel sandals that had sling back straps often with a tight fight. Finally, at age 18, I acquired a job and a car, allowing me to go to stores on my own and buy what I wished. So from a young age, I had always been fascinated with high heels and have liked them. They made me feel more elegant and feminine. Sometimes I feel like a man and sometimes I feel like a girl. Depending on how I feel determines what I like. I guess this all has to do with how both women and men have a testosterone and estrogen in them, with varying degrees of masculinity and femininity showing at various times. Thoughts? Opinions? Your own stories?

[kfsteve391]

I have always enjoyed seeing the ladies in their heels. Strappy high heel sandals have always been very appealing to me. We live in Arizona where it is warm and sunny most of the time. Ladies wear sandals year round. Last Spring I decided to get a pair. Since then I have gotten 15 more. I wear them everyday and have even done some public heeling in them with my wife. When I look down at my toes peeking out of my strappy sandals all I can think of is "you sexy thing". I look and feel as sexy and beautiful as the ladies do in theirs. For me it is very much of a turn on.

[dblair]

Well, I don't know if childhood experience has anything to do with it, but I don't see any reason for trying try to explain why I like heels...I just do. None of us have to explain the reason for our passion any more than any car enthusiast has to explain why he loves cars. You may say that we are different because our love of wearing heels is unusual or abnormal, but I don't think that is the case. I think there are far more men out there that secretly share our love of heels and will never talk about it to anyone. Also, there is probably a large segment of the male population that "could" love heels if they were exposed to the possibility of men wearing them, but because of their gender role conditioning, will never even think about it on their own. I mean hey, many of the things that we enjoy most in life, we might never have discovered without someone else exposing us to it.

[Iamme]

I would sneak into other girl's and woman's heels whenever I got the chance to do it unnoticed when I was a little kid. But I'm not sure if my love for high heels came from there. I know I had a period in my life where I figured that it wasn't right, and thus I forced myself not to do things like that anymore. I gradually lost interest in them that way. Until one day where I saw this documentary on TV about transvestism and thus guys in high heels and women's clothes, which sparked the interest once again. I think my love for high heels is more related to me thinking they're very sexy and womanly.

[Histiletto]

Like dbair has posted, we really don't know why anyone likes the things they like, it is just who they are. Society may write and create all the rules and standards they can conjure up, but if these conjurings aren't true to reality there is going to be contradictions. Obviously, the incidences of people who go against social standards have been prominant enough to create attitudes of contempt and punishment for those who are deemed to exhibit tendencies out side the social expectations. Y, even the event of birth has been known to contradict the established procedures as many infants are born with both genitalia of male and female possibilities. Who's to know how many babies have the organs of one sex and the mind-frame of the other, but due to society's standards these things are never really considered. I have never known a day of life that I didn't want to wear certain styles of feminine footwear. As I grew, so did my taste for higher heels, especially the high spike heeled court shoes (or spike heeled pumps, which is the label I learned first). When heels started tapering to very thin tips, they started calling them stilettos. Now stiletto has replaced the label of spike, even when the heels are more spiky in design. Some of the heels today ought to be called stakes, because of their design.

[shrimper]

A wise person once told me "All boys at some time try on their mother's shoes. Some never get over it" I don't remember ever not liking womens' shoes, not just high heels. I'm wearing a pair of ballet flats right now as I'm going about doing my chores. They are the most comfortable shoes I own.

[Dr. Shoe]

As a very small child I would play in my Grandmother's back garden and I would often see feet going past the bottom of the hedge and most of them had high heels. The only flats belonged to the guys. I realise now that they would have been you girls going on dates and they were either in groups or singly with boyfriends. Some time later, my mum had bought some knee length zip boots with about 4" stilleto heels (about 1968) and invited her friend to try them on. With that, her daughter (4 going on 17) asked to try them on so not to be outdone I had to too. After that I would sneak those boots on whenever I could.

[AZShoeNut]

I can remember at a very young age, probably around 3, asking my mom why she did not wear the mary janes like the girls that I went to church with wore. I remember telling her that I prefered them and that she should wear them. I can also remember clomping around in her heels and even as a boy, at that young age, it was not that frowned upon. It wasn't until I was about 12 years old while watching Gilligan's Island when Gilligan had to dress up as a girl to save the group from savages that I saw him falling all over the place in heels that I decided to try on a pair of heels. I figured that it couldn't be that hard. Well it was a challenge and I have been wearing heels for the last 23 years now. Later, Larry

[roniheels]

My mom and almost all of her female friends wore high heels when I was growing up. The first high heels that I tried on and wore were hers. As many others, as I grew older and decided to wear high heels, I was able to buy the style that I liked and wear them whenever and wherever. I guess you could say that my mom was my inspiration for at least trying on high heels. She never would wear high heels with slacks. She thought that wasn't feminine.

[radiodave]

Regen, I think your story is very much like many of our own stories, including mine. I grew up admiring all the nice shoes that girls at school wore. My mom didn't wear them much, but my older sister and her friend had some nice ones. I hated that women could wear whatever cute shoes they felt like, but boys had comparatively ugly shoes. I would wear sandals that often came from the ladies' side of the store, but they were usually average shoes that wouldn't be that much different from the ones guys wear. It wasn't until I met my ex-wife when I was nearly 30 that I finally let someone else know that I wondered what it was like to wear high heels. She didn't mind at all, and bought me my first pair. Now I have about 60 pairs last I counted, and although we split for other reasons, she thought it was cool that I was brave enough to buy them and be myself by wearing what I wanted to wear. She's a little jealous that I walk in heels better than she does, and she even commented that since I'm thin as a rail, they don't look that unusual on me. It was not long after she got me my first pair that I found hhplace, and showed it to her. She was surprised there were other guys who wear them publicly, and thought it was neat that I found some "kindred spirits".

[Regen]

So for some of you, early life experiences were what drew you to high heels. But for others, what was the case with you? Did you try on heels on your own accord, someone else's, tried them on later in your life, etc etc?

[Dawn HH]

Regen:-) In most cases early life experiences with someone elses heels made all of the difference in the world. You said to yourself, "I wonder what it would be like to wear heels like all of the girls and women do"? So you found a way of finding out and you suddenly liked the sensation ,feeling, and wonderment of wearing heels which has made many of us to be what we are today. Then there was another question that entered your mind. "What must it feel like to wear the other items of clothing that a girl or woman wears"? And once again you found a means to try these items out to get an answer to that question. And then you made your lifes decision of what you would like to wear and why. And now we are in the process of picking and choosing our clothing items from both sides of the store and wearing them daily in our lives happily. Simple as that. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[chris100575]

Like a lot of others, I started off by raiding my mum's wardrobe. She had many pairs of shoes and boots, most with approx 4" stiletto heels. My out-growing my mum's heels co-incided with me being old enough to be left alone for a couple of hours at my aunt's while her and mum went shopping, and I made the happy discovery that my aunt's shoes fitted, and that she too had some nice high heels. I've been pretty much hooked ever since and bought my first pair of my own when I was 17. They were cheap black patent courts, and I loved them!

[HappyinHeels]

REGAN, I am fascinated by your both your posts and curiosity and by your youth!! You have the benefit of growing up when you did and access to technology like this forum which is full of "seasoned" folks from whom you can learn a lot. Many of us grew up in times or places where any deviance from established routines or manner of dress was "upsetting the apple cart". The world however has done lots of changing in the last 20 years. Gays and lesbians have asserted themselves as have women and blacks, latinos, and native peoples and people have explored their sexuality. Many here just want to talk about high-heeled shoes and boots because it is something they are really into-IRRESPECTIVE of their gender. Some have no interest in wearing anything else feminine except the shoes and combining that with other articles of clothing. Others incorporate more feminine articles into their wardrobe while others (like me) have dressed entirely en femme and have attended some social functions as such. Women express themselves via their clothing and many men want that same latitude. Many on this forum have detailed their experiences wearing heels in public places and dressed as men and have had positive experiences. The key seems to be CONFIDENCE. Wear what you want and do so CONFIDENTLY and the world will tend to respond well. Even though I wear business casual M-Thurs and casual clothes on Friday I still make a concerted effort to keep my legs smooth and toes polished. I wear panties and a woman' dress watch and keep a pair of heels in my car. I have some loafer-style wedge heels (4") from Steve Madde which I have worn many times into malls, gas stations, etc. and that gives me enormous satisfaction. I have gone shopping at places like DSW and Bakers and tried on stiletto-heel shoes right alongside women with NO problem. Nobody really wants to alienate another paying customer and women tend to be much open-minded and supportive anyway-they genuinely enjoy giving compliments and receiving them as well about wardrobe items. I don't know where you fall on the spectrum but you'll figure it out for sure. The clothes and shoes you wear, and the support you receive, will have a direct correlation to the confidence you exude in the years to come. I am married and heterosexual but I love dresses and skirts and high heels as much as any genetic woman does, it is simply who I am and I have known this since I was 10! Do keep us informed as you get out in the world and get your questions answered. That's why we're all here!!! HappyinHeels

[Regen]

Thank you for your wonderful reply, HappyinHeels. You really made me smile. I completely understand that today, things are easier for us younger people for many reasons and I'm happy it's like that. I feel for those of you more seasoned members who did not really get to enjoy such things until much later in their life or not as soon as they would have liked. Even for me, I still feel very limited living with my parents, who are very against the things I do that deal with the articles of women. Only time will tell how things come along. I kind of wish I was in the shoes of those who have it even better than me and that those "seasoned" members had what I have now in terms of freedom in clothing, shoes, etc.

[geo]

My two experiences came with a biker chick daring me to wear knee high boots and that I could not walk as graceful as her in them. Well I Proved her wrng and even walked better than she could. I also learned to play a drum kit with my former girlfriend. She would not let me play drums until I wore knee high stilletto heeled boots with her. It was fun controlling the high hat pedal and bass drum pedals in them. I sometimes wished I had a drum kit to play again.

[Guest]

I'm sure youve hear the famous song by creedance clearwater revival "theres a bad moon on the right" now THAT has a VERY good bass drum beat!