larkofam Posted December 29, 2009 Share Posted December 29, 2009 Supposing I wanted to come out to someone in my life as a heeler... how would I go about doing this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tech Posted December 30, 2009 Share Posted December 30, 2009 Supposing I wanted to come out to someone in my life as a heeler... how would I go about doing this? The first thing you do is stop treating it as something you need to "Come out" about. Its footwear, your not running for prime-minister or having a sex change or emmigrating... Just put your footwear on and go about your business... The minute you treat it like something you need to "come out" about, then thats when others will view it like your doing something wrong. If anybody says "Whats that on your feet", you simply say "Why, did i treat in a turd or step in some paint?" Heels for Men // Legwear Fashion // HHPlace Guidelines If something doesn't look right, please report the content ASAP! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
larkofam Posted December 30, 2009 Author Share Posted December 30, 2009 If anybody says "Whats that on your feet", you simply say "Why, did i treat in a turd or step in some paint?" I like your thinking Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wood&metal Posted December 30, 2009 Share Posted December 30, 2009 I've used the straight out "I like to wear heels" on 2 occasions... First time was a success... Second time, I have not heard from her since... Never frown because you never know who is falling in love with your smile. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sscotty727 Posted December 30, 2009 Share Posted December 30, 2009 I have two sister-in-laws, both know I wear heels. The older one (child of the 60s) thinks it's cool and kinky. The younger one (about 4 years younger) doesn't think anything about it at all. It's mainly my wife (oddly enough) that dislikes me in heels. I am starting to think most women can be open minded about men in heels unless it's their husband/boyfriend. Then most (obviously not all) have a hard time with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iwp Posted December 30, 2009 Share Posted December 30, 2009 The minute you treat it like something you need to "come out" about, then thats when others will view it like your doing something wrong. I agree. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba136 Posted December 30, 2009 Share Posted December 30, 2009 I have two sister-in-laws, both know I wear heels. The older one (child of the 60s) thinks it's cool and kinky. The younger one (about 4 years younger) doesn't think anything about it at all. It's mainly my wife (oddly enough) that dislikes me in heels. I am starting to think most women can be open minded about men in heels unless it's their husband/boyfriend. Then most (obviously not all) have a hard time with it. Perhaps your wife's attitude towards your wearing high heels isn't propelled so much by her disliking the idea but more because of the two young daughters you both are trying to raise. Being the father of two daughters, now grown, married and with children of their own, I personally know what you are going through. Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Majo Posted December 30, 2009 Share Posted December 30, 2009 Second time, I have not heard from her since... Nothing to loose, then. When I told my girlfriend -now my wife- she was very cooperative. Time turned her more into tolerance than acceptance, but works for me. Any way, she wouldn't accept me street heeling with her. What I don't cope to much is that, as she I am only 1 1/2 inch taller, she is not very keen on using heels. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roniheels Posted December 30, 2009 Share Posted December 30, 2009 I've used the straight out "I like to wear heels" on 2 occasions... First time was a success... Second time, I have not heard from her since... The bottom line is that you were honest with her and yourself. We cannot control what others think of us. I guess I'm at the age now that I'm going to do what I enjoy doing and here I am and think what you like. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Histiletto Posted December 31, 2009 Share Posted December 31, 2009 Supposing I wanted to come out to someone in my life as a heeler... how would I go about doing this? A lot of your approach has to do with your view of heeling. Is it a disease or a desire? You know the circumstances surrounding your relationship with this someone. Be as truthful and straight forward as you can. Test the waters first, if you have no idea of their thinking about heeling. Leave objects or articles in plain sight or bring up subjects that would help to open up a discussion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CassieJ Posted December 31, 2009 Share Posted December 31, 2009 It is a tough thing for most. While it is easy to say, "They are just shoes, wear what you want," the reality is that most of us are very self-conscious when we step outside the box. This "psychological fear" can be overwhelming and even override any enjoyment you might be seeking. The only cure is to move forward at your own pace. My experience has been that no one really cares. When I swap to tennis shoes before going into someplace I was worried about, over 90% of the time I find myself in the "scary" place wishing I had worn my heels in because no one would have noticed or I wouldn't have cared if they did. All I can offer as advice is this...it is mostly in your mind. When you overcome your own fears, you will find that society may not approve but lucky for us, it is about 99% blind. Those that do notice will never say anything. When you have these experiences for yourself, you will feel free to follow your desires. Good luck! Cassie - http://www.fetishforhighheels.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wood&metal Posted December 31, 2009 Share Posted December 31, 2009 I guess I'm at the age now that I'm going to do what I enjoy doing and here I am and think what you like. I'm right there with you.. Never frown because you never know who is falling in love with your smile. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loveheel Posted December 31, 2009 Share Posted December 31, 2009 I would say to figure out soon if she likes you in heels or not. When I told my wife she was quite OK with it. I think she was worried I was going to tell her something far worse. But after years she grew less and less accepting making me slip again into just wearing them when she was not around or in my home office. We are separated now, and the heels were definitely not the main problem, just one of those things we could neither agree on, nor talk about. I am now with someone who is not only accepting, but also loves it. She even bought me shoes for my X-mas. She not only likes the heels, but likes even more that it makes me happy. Don't make heels the focal point of your relation, but decide early if you want someone who will accept it, or you are willing to "conform" Something in between may just not work over time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Waisted_Giraffe Posted December 31, 2009 Share Posted December 31, 2009 The first thing you do is stop treating it as something you need to "Come out" about. Its footwear, your not running for prime-minister or having a sex change or emmigrating... Just put your footwear on and go about your business... The minute you treat it like something you need to "come out" about, then thats when others will view it like your doing something wrong. If anybody says "Whats that on your feet", you simply say "Why, did i treat in a turd or step in some paint?" Oh, come on, be serious, most people in society will (and do) regard a man wearing heels as particularly strange. Yes, it is just footwear - as far as the members of this forum are concerned. If men wearing heels is not considered unusual, we would see men on the street in heels all over the shop; seriously, when was the last time you saw another man in the street, that you don't know, wearing heels. I certainly haven't, other than many years ago at a gig and he was only wearing kitten heel boots. People are very tentative about doing this, ensuring their loved ones do not dismiss them; it is something very profound about our psyche; certainly from my experience takes a lot of courage to do, with good reason. I have articulated my reasoning to a couple of partners previously but they have not been open minded enough to understand; however, I have recently been in contact with a woman through match.com, I decided to explain to her first thing; her first reaction was not exactly positive BUT she has subsequently come back to me and has at least begun to discuss the subject. There are seemingly women out there that a number of our members are in relationships with that don't mind / encourage their partner's heeling but i bet it's a small proportion. As mentioned in previous messages, I have recently met a somewhat more open minded sector of society, that are accepting of wearing / doing what each other pleases without prejudice but again this sector is very small and is itself considered outside the "norm". They have helped me massively in expressing myself and getting out there in my heels but I still haven't fully resolved my "issues" I can not say how the important person in your life will react; you need to have reached a point where YOU have fully accepted that you wear heels, once you've got to that point I think you will find that telling someone else is a lot easier. I do agree with Tech regards the just put your footwear on and go about your business but this needs to be done in a context that will not make the reveal too dramatic where the focus of the reveal is you and in a relaxed environment. I wish you all the best in doing so; I know how depressing it is to keep such a secret, especially from loved ones. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tech Posted January 1, 2010 Share Posted January 1, 2010 Oh, come on, be serious, most people in society will (and do) regard a man wearing heels as particularly strange. Un-usual.... Yes, flamboyant, yes, eccentric, yes, but I wouldnt say "Strange", although I would say it totally depends how you present yourself. Some of the guys I've seen here would definately be considered strange if they went out in public dressed the way they show us here, but others wouldnt even be noticed... I've seen some guys here that seem to think they can simply throw on any pair of heels and give zero attention to the rest of themself at all, making the whole look very odd, as if the shoes are the only thing in their life, then there is the other side where people like maximillian do it pefectly. Today for example, I've been all over South London, and not one single comment or look at all. Stopped at the wild bean cafe for a coffee and some deisel, not even so much as anybody noticed, been to 3 customers houses and openly sat with heels on full show and had 1 customer come to my office and I sat with my heels right in her face and she didnt even notice, the man from Dell came to fix my Laptop, not even so much as a smirk or glance.. None of the 6 guys & 2 wives in the model shop batted an eyelid, nor walking down the street to the co-op half a mile down the same street, despite the noise my heels make... (3.5" ankle boots with very noisy heels) Its not what you do, its how you do it, and that goes for anything. If you behave or feel embarrassed/shy about something, then clearly others will also feel that your not at ease with what your doing, and see whats different about you, and know that your not comfortable with it yourself. I'd even go as far as saying today was such a non-event it was almost dissapointing, but at the same time, was just another day going about my business. Waisted: I'd even go as far as saying, the very fact that you had to explain to your new potential girlfriend that you wear heels was the very point you made it an issue, like you were doing something wrong. Maybe approaching it in a far more positive light might have been better, such as asking her what size feet she has as you wouldnt want a girlfriend who is going to steal ALL your heels , or just say nothing, wear your heels, be happy and be yourself. When she notices, brush it off as "Yeah, these really go well with these trousers/jeans/shirt dont you think???" Heels for Men // Legwear Fashion // HHPlace Guidelines If something doesn't look right, please report the content ASAP! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawn HH Posted January 2, 2010 Share Posted January 2, 2010 Tech thinks the same way as I do. Just put your heels on and go about your business. No big deal. Cheers--- Dawn HH High Heeled Boots Forever! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackfive Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 I am starting to think most women can be open minded about men in heels unless it's their husband/boyfriend. Then most (obviously not all) have a hard time with it. I think it is understandable. If I turn the idea around in my head there are some things women wear in the bedroom for fun I would like her to wear, but not in public where we are known and nor am I personally ready to come out like that other than perhaps at a fancy dress party. Mine knows, and I think she would just tolerate a Rocky Horror trip for example in one of the big cities but not if our local cinema put it on. Seriously though I find the problem is it eats and eats into me as an "I want to do activity", gets to fetish level, then the fact it is a fetish is the problem as the partner sees it is a rival to them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba136 Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 Seriously though I find the problem is it eats and eats into me as an "I want to do activity", gets to fetish level, then the fact it is a fetish is the problem as the partner sees it is a rival to them. You've identified the biggest stumbling block partners can have with their man wearing high heels. The feeling that their man cares more for her heels than he cares for her......... Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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