Goodbye from North Carolina

[frodo220]

All, I bid you all goodbye. I have appreciated this forum, in that my "oddness" is NOT unique and that my liking to wear heels out and in, is in essence "no big deal" and I can be myself. But, I must depart because I find very annoying here people who push others to push the envelope so to speak, and not just let individuals find their own comfort zone. I find annoying those here who go out in more and more flamboyant clothing, heels, then heels and skirt, then heels, skirt and tops etc., more to see how many people they can attract their attention or even be annoyed by them. I find that very childish and even manipulative. The last straw was people who got on here talking about "crushing" things with heels, or even a stiletto in the face or head to shock people, or hurt others. Good grief. It is like some here are never satisfied except by pushing the envelope again and again, the thrill wears off and then they push it again. That is sick, and I do NOT want to be exposed to it. Since I was a child I was belittled and made fun of because of feminine aspects about me (fingernails, or eyelashes women of my family envied), or mannerisms I had because I grew up in a family with an angry absent father surrounded by castrating females (mother and two sisters), stuff I could not control like my eyelashes, or nails (except I bit them off regularly, making them look horrible, and others made fun of me for that), or actions I did to cope even survive in a "female" atmosphere, where my being masculine (or just a boy) was belittled or punished. In light of all that I am offended by those here who "push" others to become more like them, It is almost like some desire others to do the same as they because of the proverb "misery loves company", instead of just stopping pushing and letting people find their own comfort level. I honestly find very boring continuing to talk on and on about shoes or other clothing, as if they are something sacred to embrace. It is CLOTHING, and CLOTHING does not make the man or woman, his or her heart does. Sure, a few months on this site was interesting, but it gets so repetitive and covers old ground again and again, it really becomes strange to watch. Sure, some of you may disagree with my points of view, I do not mind or care, you are welcome to your own opinions, as the saying goes "if the shoe fits, wear it". But, some of this stuff is very sick, and I hope and pray to go through my life getting healed from the pain of my past, and learning to just be myself, and relax in that. Not pretending to the world, I am just like them or not "odd" or not "unique". And NOT forcing others by my "odd" behavior in front of them to think less of me, because I decide to do things or wear things purposely to annoy or anger them. I wish some of you well, and some of you who are on a slide to more destructive behavior that will affect others and even your children I ask, please get professional help. So, that you will reach contentment, even peace with God, and the person you have become and who you are becoming. Perhaps I will lurk and come back now and then to see what is going on, but real involvement in this forum for me is at an end. I even removed the pictures I had posted because I realized my posting them might cause others to stumble or slide into destructive behavior, where getting "satisfied" is more and more elusive. Frodo

[Dawn HH]

Frodo220:-) I commend you on the decisions that have shaped your life along the way and the path that you have chosen so far. It is your personal choice to think or say or do what you choose in life as it is with anyone here on Earth. Everyones feelings are different and it distresses me personally that you have chosen to leave the Forum completely, but I accept your choice because, no doubt, you have spent consiterable time coming to the decision that you have come to, to leave us. Do check in from time to time to see how the rest of us are doing. Wishing you well in all of your future endevors Cheers--- Dawn HH.

[Guest]

Farewell Frodo I agree with what you say, be yourself and as you should be - be comfortable. As Dawn has said, do return from time to time to see who's still here Regards and good wishes Al

[Tech]

Hey Frodo Just incase you havent noticed, all of the "fetish" stuff has now been dropped, along with the CD/TV stuff. All that crushing, trampling, CD'ing and other such items really had no place here, thus has finally been ditched. We cant really help as far as "pushing the envelope" goes as there will always be people in this world encouraging others, but at least here, the only thing others are encouraged to do is whatever makes them happy and comfortable.

[Bubba136]

Bye Frodo!

[frodo220]

Hey Frodo

Just incase you havent noticed, all of the "fetish" stuff has now been dropped, along with the CD/TV stuff. All that crushing, trampling, CD'ing and other such items really had no place here, thus has finally been ditched.

We cant really help as far as "pushing the envelope" goes as there will always be people in this world encouraging others, but at least here, the only thing others are encouraged to do is whatever makes them happy and comfortable.

Good, I am glad. I just object to people "bragging" about pushing the envelope and counting how many people on their outings noticed or were bothered by them. I happen to believe that is childish and stupid, and counterproductive because eventually those ones with an "in your face" attitude won't be content with the harmless wearing of heels now and then or regularly if no one else is forced to pay attention to them.

Maybe it is a sign of some common sense I gained, as I wore my heels out, I no longer noticed anyone noticing me, nor did I care. Because I was NOT doing it to annoy anyone who was just minding their own business as I was.

Frodo

[vector]

I second Bubba136's note.

[Dr. Shoe]

If we can't convince you to stay, at least look in from time to time because you will find that the site is going to change into something which is more suitable for people exactly like you. As Tech says we are in the process of ditching all the fetish stuff and promoting heels as fashion, just how the site started off. As far as people pushing the envelope goes, some people are more flambouyant than others, if you don't like what they're saying then just don't listen to them! You can do whatever you feel comfortable with.

[johnieheel]

I have left for the same reasons Frodo and a couple others that I believe got twisted around, but I still drop in from time to time to see how everybody is doing.

[Tech]

Good, I am glad. I just object to people "bragging" about pushing the envelope and counting how many people on their outings noticed or were bothered by them. I happen to believe that is childish and stupid, and counterproductive because eventually those ones with an "in your face" attitude won't be content with the harmless wearing of heels now and then or regularly if no one else is forced to pay attention to them.

Maybe it is a sign of some common sense I gained, as I wore my heels out, I no longer noticed anyone noticing me, nor did I care. Because I was NOT doing it to annoy anyone who was just minding their own business as I was.

Frodo

Frodo / Johnie

I seriously think its possible that you might be looking at this slightly in-accurately, because what your mistaking as "bragging" is in fact just people overcoming their fears.

Imagine if you were scared of spiders/snakes/anything else, and each time you approached the subject, you got nervous, sweaty, embarrassed or whatever..

Well, if a group of like minded people demonstrated to you that it was ok to hold a spider/snake/dog/anything else, then you plucked up the courage to do it yourself, especially if you really wanted a pet spider/snake/dog etc, then imagine how "elated" you would be to get over your fear?

Wouldnt you want to share that with the very same people who helped you overcome it? Wouldnt you then enjoy sharing future experiences possibly on how the guy who was once scared of dogs, now has 3 alsations, or whatever, and well controlled your pets are out in public?

Dont look at it as "bravado" but look at it more as people overcoming their fears and then sharing that new found confidence with the people who helped them find it in the first place.

With confidence comes a better person, able to overcome many more things in life. So instead of being annoyed at people for overcoming their fears and learning that the world doesnt fall apart around them, be happy for people doing something positive in their lives.

There truly are far worse things for you to be getting in a twist about...

[Thighboots2]

Tech, That is a very shrewd post and I would entirely agree with your analysis. Frodo, I guess we are in a similar place then, both comfortable with wearing heels of our choice and because it is to us so normal, not feeling the need to share. So now you can be there to help those get to the state that you find yourself. BE around to help and be critical of choice. Share your thoughts on what you feel is the right style - I have often and will continue to bang on about how I feel stiletto heels are basically wrong for guys and 4" is really as high as a guy should go. You still have much to contribute, as does Johnny. Simon.

[frodo220]

If we can't convince you to stay, at least look in from time to time because you will find that the site is going to change into something which is more suitable for people exactly like you. As Tech says we are in the process of ditching all the fetish stuff and promoting heels as fashion, just how the site started off.

As far as people pushing the envelope goes, some people are more flambouyant than others, if you don't like what they're saying then just don't listen to them! You can do whatever you feel comfortable with.

I will look in now and then. I guess some of it, is that it also gets so repetitive. For example on another matter I like listening to Rush Limbaugh on the radio, and yet can only do it for a while now and then, because he gets repetitive too, so it become boring. Even though I agree with him on many things political (like the presence of feminazis in American society).

I guess the changes TECH and others made by shifting or ending threads and dumping some people have made this place less annoying. double grin

Frodo

[frodo220]

Frodo / Johnie

I seriously think its possible that you might be looking at this slightly in-accurately, because what your mistaking as "bragging" is in fact just people overcoming their fears.

Imagine if you were scared of spiders/snakes/anything else, and each time you approached the subject, you got nervous, sweaty, embarrassed or whatever..

Well, if a group of like minded people demonstrated to you that it was ok to hold a spider/snake/dog/anything else, then you plucked up the courage to do it yourself, especially if you really wanted a pet spider/snake/dog etc, then imagine how "elated" you would be to get over your fear?

Wouldnt you want to share that with the very same people who helped you overcome it? Wouldnt you then enjoy sharing future experiences possibly on how the guy who was once scared of dogs, now has 3 alsations, or whatever, and well controlled your pets are out in public?

Dont look at it as "bravado" but look at it more as people overcoming their fears and then sharing that new found confidence with the people who helped them find it in the first place.

With confidence comes a better person, able to overcome many more things in life. So instead of being annoyed at people for overcoming their fears and learning that the world doesnt fall apart around them, be happy for people doing something positive in their lives.

There truly are far worse things for you to be getting in a twist about...

Yeah, I understand your point. But, to whine and do it again and again, that is childish and those who keep doing over years clearly have OTHER agendas.

[frodo220]

Tech,

That is a very shrewd post and I would entirely agree with your analysis.

Frodo,

I guess we are in a similar place then, both comfortable with wearing heels of our choice and because it is to us so normal, not feeling the need to share. So now you can be there to help those get to the state that you find yourself. BE around to help and be critical of choice. Share your thoughts on what you feel is the right style - I have often and will continue to bang on about how I feel stiletto heels are basically wrong for guys and 4" is really as high as a guy should go. You still have much to contribute, as does Johnny.

Simon.

I agree with you. But, what I am also frustrated with is the repetitive nature of a lot of the complaints about how others "REACT" or should react to their choice of footwear. Perhaps it is my age, but I am not here to convince anyone, nor to be convinced by anyone. I guess the fact that is most satisfying is that I realize my liking to wear certain stuff, I am NOT as weird or unique as I thought, so I am NOT as alone.

But, I also have better things to do then try and convince strangers my choices should be theirs. That confidence or lack thereof comes from within. "A Life well lived" is NOT and should NOT be a series of popularity contests.

Frodo

[Tech]

Frodo Sounds to me like your taking this "bit of fun" wayyyyyyyyyy to seriously. Grab a beer, kick back and just cherry pick the bits you like rather than getting yourself into a spin over what annoy's you. I'm done discussing this now.... this is just negative and is getting nowhere quickly.

[frodo220]

Frodo

Sounds to me like your taking this "bit of fun" wayyyyyyyyyy to seriously.

Grab a beer, kick back and just cherry pick the bits you like rather than getting yourself into a spin over what annoy's you.

I'm done discussing this now.... this is just negative and is getting nowhere quickly.

Huh, me taking it too seriously?? Hardly. I just thought it was better to say "goodbye" and give some real reasons, in the hopes others would be edified, and perhaps changes could be made to address some real concerns.

You may close the thread if you wish. I have said enough.

[Bubba136]

I guess some of it, is that it also gets so repetitive.

Frodo

The repetitiveness of answering the very same questions over and over, again and again, irks me too, Frodo. Since I've been here before the forum was started, you can't imagine how may times I've answered repetitive questions. Take, for instance, how many times I've posted my opinion to the question of "How or when do you let your wife, etc, know that you like to wear high heels?"

What I've come to realize is that each time a query is repeated it comes from a person that is relatively new to accepting the fact that he likes to wear high heels and is searching for answers to issues that he has a lifelong dread of facing, solely because he has been "trained" his entire life to believe there is something radically wrong with anyone that desires to wear accouterments of the opposite sex, especially high heels.

While I stifle the urge to write a comment "just look back through the archives and you will find sixty-six times this same question has been answered." However, I realize that the member asking the question is totally thrilled to discover that he isn't the only person east of the Mississippi River that loves high heels and -- more to his shame -- also loves to wear them. So, having bridged this gap some 40 or more years ago, I am more than happy to re-answer these questions each time they're asked. It helps build their self worth and self-esteem. Besides it also lets them know that they aren't alone in this whole wide world, there is a lot of us out here.

[frodo220]

The repetitiveness of answering the very same questions over and over, again and again, irks me too, Frodo. Since I've been here before the forum was started, you can't imagine how may times I've answered repetitive questions. Take, for instance, how many times I've posted my opinion to the question of "How or when do you let your wife, etc, know that you like to wear high heels?"

What I've come to realize is that each time a query is repeated it comes from a person that is relatively new to accepting the fact that he likes to wear high heels and is searching for answers to issues that he has a lifelong dread of facing, solely because he has been "trained" his entire life to believe there is something radically wrong with anyone that desires to wear accouterments of the opposite sex, especially high heels.

While I stifle the urge to write a comment "just look back through the archives and you will find sixty-six times this same question has been answered." However, I realize that the member asking the question is totally thrilled to discover that he isn't the only person east of the Mississippi River that loves high heels and -- more to his shame -- also loves to wear them. So, having bridged this gap some 40 or more years ago, I am more than happy to re-answer these questions each time they're asked. It helps build their self worth and self-esteem. Besides it also lets them know that they aren't alone in this whole wide world, there is a lot of us out here.

Well, you have a different role here. And I have no problem with your role. But, it gets tedious to read regularly, so I am moving to now and then status.

[Bubba136]

Well, you have a different role here. And I have no problem with your role. But, it gets tedious to read regularly, so I am moving to now and then status.

I have no role other than that of a regular member. I just happen to be a long time member that, like DawnHH, has posted more than once or twice over the years.

[frodo220]

I have no role other than that of a regular member. I just happen to be a long time member that, like DawnHH, has posted more than once or twice over the years.

You have over 7000 posts, your role here is a big one. Any blind man could see that.

Frodo