Yamyam

Well, I have some experiences along these lines. I actually told my ex-wife about me, my shoes, and my TV desires. I didn't get caught. However, we were married at the time. Initially she went along with it... then our marriage went thru a slightly rocky period, that was all thrown back at me, and she left.

I wish I'd been more honest, but I was scared of what might happen. And so, the worst happened. I tried to talk about it, but she'd have none of it. Instead, she told her family, threatened to tell my family, and basically used it in an effort to ruin my life. That hurt. Did it hurt more than I hurt her? No idea, but I do know that while it was somethng we shared, things were okay, but then it became a weapon, and I wish I'd never gone there.

So that relationship ended, and after that I decided to be entirely honest. That kind of worked too, and as long-term readers of the board will know, I shared this with someone who briefly posted here. That didn't work out either, but I'd made a start on sharing what I felt inside.

And then I found someone truly wonderful! She and I have discussed everything, shared everything, and found true joy in this big old world. I'm strong enough to tell her everything, and she knows (and has said on here) that it's how you feel about the person that's important. How I feel about her gives me the strength and the confidence to share my feelings, my desires, my dreams, and to share hers, too. We've talked it out, and we continue talking.

... and I would rather have a thousand Yam's than one of what I've left behind...

Why, thank you, my darling! I'd never call myself a 'he-man' type, but I am in touch with my feelings, and I'm in touch with making Julietta feel as special as she is. I think I know what 'manly' behaviour is supposed to be, but all I know is how to be myself. I look after the children, I make cakes for birthdays, I work on computers, sometimes I take cars to bits, I can't park for toffee, and I have no sense of colour but I can talk for England. All of these things are me. Are some 'manly' and some 'girly'? Am I manly when I take the car to bits, even if I have a skirt and heels on? Or am I manly when I'm reading the kids a story, because I'm wearing trainers and jeans?

All I know is that this is me, and I'm lucky enough to have someone who can appreciate me for what I am and who I am.

There was a point in here somewhere... Ah, here it is. I knew I'd put it down somewhere. When I told my ex-wife about my clothing urges, she was shocked for quite a long time. But she came round, and I think that if we hadn't had the other problems we had, she and I might have come thru that and be happy together now. But our relationship didn't survive that. And I'm happy that it didn't, as I have now found the love of my life!

All I can say is that she may come around, and may accept the 'new you'. She may embrace the new situation, and you may find yourselves swapping underwear and dress tips. Or she may grudgingly accept that this is something that happens but that she wants no part of. Or she may leave. Whatever happens, I think that being honest is better than living a lie. If your relationship doesn't make it, and believe me, I'll be sad for you if it doesn't, there may well be someone out there who can accept all of you for who you are. If your relationship does make it thru this, and my fingers are crossed for you, then you'll be better for it. The lie is gone, you can be who you are with confidence, and she'll benefit from a happier you.

I think the worst thing in the world is the guilt from a secret. It eats away at you, it corrodes your relationships, and it taints everything it touches.

I wish you all the best, from someone who's been there.

John Wrote:

John I couldn't agree more, but I have to confess that I do own a pair although I only wear mine for what they were intended, exercise, and I do as little of that as I possibly can !

I'd just point out that I've never seen Julietta in the alleged sneakers! On the other hand, she does own a pair of sturdy 'walking thru forests' boots, which don't have heels on either. She only wore those when we took our kids to the woods near her house, of course

Bait, as you call it, is important, in trying to keep the relationshyip exciting. Not every day can be that way, but it is something that needs to be there, to avoid falling into other traps.

It's true! However much you love someone, there needs to be some excitement there, something special that the two of you share, just so that you don't start taking each other for granted. As you say, Laurie, not every day... but sometimes, definitely.

Wow, that sounds good. And there was me wondering if I should have gone. Looks like I should have, then

It's true. I was planning to look for another job, but after the horror stories I've heard from other people over the last couple of days, I might stay where I am. But it's true that if you seem good at everything, people won't hire you for a job that you can do easily, on the grounds that you'll just get bored and move on anyway. Perhaps you could hide your light under a bushel a little, grit your teeth and take something less than ideal? Just a thought.

Xa, what a story! I must admit, I had to smile reading that one.

The elves worked

shake

dheel - nice one! Well done on getting out there, and what a wonderful experience! I hope it's the start of many more such experiences for you!

Julietta: :rofl:

adjustment

I'm trying to buy some high-heel sneakers. It must be possible! There is a whole comfort versus style thing here. I must admit that there are times when I want comfort, and times when I want to be stylish. It depends what I'm doing.

Or, you could persuade a friend who works in a hospital to swipe some of those bed bottle things, then you wouldn't have to go anywhere at all

To Julie and Yam.

In case you didnt know you can get thigh high rubber boots in red.

Check out www.bananashoes.com

Go to Latex Boots.

They are called R5B07, but I think the ones called Nikki look much nicer because they fit the models legs much better.

And Yam with winter just around the corner a pair of boots like that could get you quite a number of brownie points.

Best wishes

Jeff

Thank you, Jeff! On this one, I'll let Julietta choose the pair she wants. All I know is that she'd quite like red!

I got 41, so I guess I'm healthy from that point of view. Having said that, I'm paying more attention to what I eat now, as I don't want to grow out of my jeans again!

I used to modify my jeans in a similar fashion. I would sew elastic straps joining the bottom sides of each leg hem. This way, I had to put on my heels first before sliding into my jeans. The elastic strap would position itself under the shoe at the top of the arch. The elastic strap would stretch as I bent my legs.

The snug feeling was quite sensual for me.

Many years ago there was a fashion here for what we called 'ski pants', which were just like leggings but with a similar elastic loop under the foot. I seem to remember some people wearing them with heels, and with the elastic loop tucked into the arch of the shoe, just in front of the heel. It's a similar thing.

How jealous was *I*?

You look great as you are and you have one of the fullest hearts that I've ever had the privilege to encounter xx

Thanks, Julietta!

Perhaps that's where this extra weight is coming from then!

Oh, and Bubba: I have virtually no sugar now anyway, so I'm fine for sweetener-type things, but thank you for the suggestion, I appreciate it!

Oh, OK, I see now, Laurie. I can't promise a completely innuendo-free life, tho', as I like to slip one in every now and then.

Oh gee, now I'm expected to do this

I'm not expecting anything. I was hoping to provide a little gentle encouragement and advice, that's all. I wouldn't want to force anyone into anything that they didn't want!

Heelsfan Hi,

I'd like to meet you all but for me, I think, the London meet would be better and as Yam travels down this way quite a lot maybe it would be cool for him too but he'd have to answer that one for himself.

J x

It's true, London would be easier for me. It's just because of making arrangements to get our children looked after for the day.

(Julietta - you've noticed I seem to be down your way a lot, have you? I wonder why that could be? )

Told you I was listening! And I've given her a few pairs of shoes, and she's returned the compliment. Time to recharge the camera batteries, I think!

coyote

I'm sure nicjasno will learn to take in his stride. (Do we need another puns thread?)

Oh they are gorgeous Raphael:D

Yam wrote:

It's "HERE" (click) honey

Why thank you, my dear. What would I do without you ?

ObShoe: Those sandals are fantastic. You're definitely lucky there, Raphael!

Not every American! I'm suing you for slander

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

I deserved that!