Guy N. Heels

Growing up I was all boy. Still am. But I have a strong feminine side, as well, one that's compassionate. I cry easily at good movies, and test between about 50% and 75% "female" on psych tests for gender (not gender identity, as I identify quite well with being male).

Aahhh, Carl Jung, that contemporary of Freud who had a name for everything. Well I never studied Jung all that closely because I simply couldn't expand my vocabulary that fast. But his notions of the human psyche and what makes us tick is undoubtedly much closer to the truth than Freud ever hoped to get.

In the final analysis complete "wholeness" or "wellness" can never be acheived until complete harmony or balance is first established. So whatever is causing your conflict is what is also causing your disharmony. And I do believe that there are indeed spiritual aspects of all this.

In my personal experience, I felt a much greater degree of harmony after my ears were pierced than I ever had before. Moreover, unlike wearing shoes or clothing which could just as easily be removed, there was no way I could "unpierce" my ears. A commitment had been made and a threshold had been crossed from which there was no going back. This singular act helped me to better understand and accept myself as I am, than any other thing I can think of. Today, over 30 years later, my ears are still pierced and whether I wear earrings, skirts, heels or not, I can better understand and be at peace with myself than I ever could previously. (This is absolutely NOT an advocacy for men to have their ears pierced. I'm merely relating my experience.)

If you are 30 years old, it was definately an invasion of your privacy for your Mom to do an obviously illegal search of your car...

I would let her stew in her own juices until she brings it up again and then I would let her know, in no uncertain notice, that it had better NEVER happen again, EVER.

Cheers---

Dawn HH

Okay, let's look at it. If you are approaching 30 then that makes you an adult by every social norm that I know of. But living with your parent(s) does bring about the need to conform to household conventions that you might not have in your own place.

On the other hand, invasion of one's privacy is an outrage for the simple reason that mutual respect and trust has been violated. The kind of thing you describe is more like what I would expect of Hitler's Gestapo, or George Bush's Homeland Security:cop: . It amounts to an unwarranted invasion of your personal effects.

Still, I don't think that going through yer mum's things is the answer. In the final analysis it makes you no better than her. This is where you must rise above the situation and strenuosly voice your objections to her behavior. You might even point out that she wouldn't want someone doing that to her. Then you need to develop a plan for your next move. If you choose to continue living with your mother you will need to lay-down specific boundaries that must be observed. If reconciliation is possible - do so with both grace and firmness. If you choose to move out, you should do so without further accusations or otherwise making a big scene. But under no circumstance should you make any big and loud announcements until you are ready to actually make your move. Remember:icon_idea: , it is always best to keep your words short and sweet - lest you have to eat them later.

Good luck, and let us know how things work out.

GNH,

Are you talking about the heel covers that ballroom dancers use?

Freed of London - Shoemaker to the World of Dance

TB2

Well, ballroom dancers aren't the only ones, but yes, that is exactly what I had in mind. Until I got my first kit, it had never dawned on me that stilettoes came in such a wide variety of sizes. The kit I bought had lifts (covers) for about 3 different sized heels. As for metal heels, these are absolutely de' riguer unless you enjoy replacing your flooring about every 6 months.

As for that inner tube repair - bad idea. I guarantee that it won't last 6 months unless you put 'em in the closet.

My last measurement was approximately 66". However, because of an inoperable condition my spine has collapsed and so my actual height does vary. I was 70" prior to the onset of this medical condition.

But you can only 'get away with' things that you yourself can 'get away with' in your own mind. Put those sandals on and feel great about the look and you can go anywhere; but, if you put them on, give yourself a good hard look in the mirror and there's doubt in your mind, you can't.

Well said, Fogborkenvv. You cannot escape yourself! If you can see it and believe it, you can acheive it. But with the first particle of doubt you are down and out.

A trick that works on a wider heel is to glue a piece of inner-tube rubber to the heel. Cut the rubber to the shape of the heel and glue it on with "contact cement" (DAP Weldwood or Pliobond). Coat the heel and the rubber piece with cement and let both dry until they are no longer tacky to the touch. Then apply a thin film of cement to one of the pieces and join them. Get them aligned properly the first time because you will not get a second chance -- the bond forms instantly. The rubber acts as a shock absorber and makes for a quieter walk.

There is not much hope (or reason) to quiet a stiletto heel -- they are supposed to make that delicious sound! And any attempt to quiet them will involve attaching some softer material that will wear out quickly.

Well, to my mind, this thread really belongs over in the Repair/Modify forum.

But, let's think it through. All noise comes from vibration and, usually, the harder the materials the more pronounced the noise will be. So the obvious answer is to use some not-so-hard materials to deaden the noise. But first we ought to consider another possibility - a hollow heel will also generate a lot of noise as well. So it might be smart to check out those thicker heels and try to determine if some shrewd manufacturer was trying to cut a few corners by putting on hollow heels. If so, you are probably going to have to replace the heels.

If not, then the use of some kind of durable rubber for a "lift" ought to bring the noise down. But I don't recommend an innertube. They are expensive and/or hard to find, and that won't last very long either. A fairly thick piece of neoprene or nylon will make a better choice, but unless you are an expert at such things, you'll be better off taking the shoes to a cobbler and have rubber or neoprene lifts installed professionally. Also, don't hesitate to ask what kind of warranty he has to offer. Even a 30 day warranty could save you some money if the job fails.

As for the stilettoes, there are lift kits that are available for different sized stilettoes that come in various materials, i.e. plastic, neoprene, etc, that should do the job. Just select the appropriate sized lift in a material that suites you, put it over the heel tip and hammer it down. (Some shoes require a lift that is actually nailed into the heel, but they have those as well.) Usually one or two whacks on a hard surface will do, but I have had to actually put on the shoes and stamp 1 or 2 on some unusually recalcitrant shoes. Now they will wear out, but then you simply repeat the process and the kit usually will have one or two pairs of spares left over for you. But unless you do something that no stilettoe was ever intended to do, you will always have a little noise from the heels - but this can be greatly reduced. Metal lifts or tips is generally not a good idea (they are unholy hell on carpets and hardwood floors) and if you have shoes with them I strongly recommend you find a heel lift kit and get some plastic covers over them right away.

Not until after Thanksgiving. I love Christmas, but I'd like my love for Christmas to peak during Christmas, not before Halloween.

Well, it's now official! Lowes Hardware stores have got their Xmas merchandise on the floor so now we can officially begin the season (without a reason?).

Since Christmas is totally pagan and actually has absolutely nothing to do with Jesus Christ, I would prefer that it be banned altogether. But I learned many years ago that pagans are far more devoted to their arcaic and bizarre customs than professing Christians are to Christ and the truth! Therefore I like to beat the drums for what I know the pagans are going to do anyway. Why ruin a celebration with some facts? Nobody's listening anyway and it just might get someone like me killed.

By the way, did I happen to mention Satan's all-time favorite celebration - Halloween? Now if yer into paganism, THERE's a celebration to get into. :D

It is unfortunate but all too true that altogether too many people have no idea what they're doing with their leather products (particularly shoes). Since a more durable and practical material is difficult to imagine, it only makes sense to care for those leather products that you've sunk your hard-earned money into. Therefore, as a leather crafter, I would like to offer some pointers: 1] Leather products (particularly shoes and boots) should be protected from water and moisture at all times. Never wear shoes or boots outside in wet weather without properly fitted rubber overshoes. Handbags and purses should also be properly protected from rain and moisture. 2] If your leather product (particularly shoes or boots) should become wet: a] try to remove the water with towels as soon as possible; b] never attempt to dry the product with any kind of heat - especially placing the product near a fireplace or source of heat; c] do use shoe trees to restore the shape of the shoes or boots; d] do not attempt to wear the shoes of boots while they are still wet or damp. 3] Periodic use of waxes and polish on any leather product is highly recomended as is the use of shoe trees (preferably wood or plastic). 4] The use of talcum powder will help to remove foot and/or body moisture (mild forced air may be okay, but forced air may tend to cause the leather to crack or split. 5] the use of thick socks (particularly wool in winter) in any kind of leather boot is highly recomended because of their moisture absorbing ability, and boots should always be purchased while wearing thick socks. 6] Tall boots should always be stored standing up with trees to hold them erect and allow air to flow inside. A little care will help to preserve those valuable leather products for many decades. I have shoes that are more than 30 years old. As for PVC pipes and forced air fans - well you are on yer own.

Good article. There's something nice about wearing tights (I have a few pairs along with kneehigh ones). Tempted to wear some this winter to keep me legs and goolies warm.

Right ON!

Heh. Journalists.

Why let the facts get in the way of a good story.

You really hit the nail squarely on the head! I never met a "Monday morning quarterback" yet who couldn't explain exactly why their team lost and how they could have/should have done it different. Never mind the fact that it was the TEAM that wuz out on the playing field getting pounded and not them!

First of all "welcome to the forum"! I also hope you find many friends here. Speaking to the idea of men in heels, there are alot more men in heels than you think. Of course some men have no fear of wearing what ever they choose, (some what like your feelings for perfumes) Most will seach out a more masculine looking heel...

My suggestion is to dig out those platforms from your closet dust em off and slip em on. Youl be surprised they that most people won't even notice and the ones that do won't care.

Give it a try!

Welcome to our forum, I'm glad you found us.

In the final analysis the only real difference between a "man's" shoe and a "woman's" shoe is who is wearing it. The shoe itself doesn't care and neither do most people. In my experience, unless yer wearing neon lights your shoes will likely never get noticed. I've had more people to comment on my earrings than my shoes.

In fashion, out of fashion . . .

The fickle diva that is fashion is penduleum like. It swings one way then back. Face it there is only so much that can be done with a shoe and fashion is a very fickle thing subject to the whimsey of the new wave of perky little dennizens who kowtou to Vogue, Harpers, Elle and the like.

...I'm at a point where I really don't give a damn what Vogue says is "Hot". I know what works for me and I've been through the "Fashion Nazis" trying to tell me how to dress.

I have unlimited sources for my beloved Stilettos on the internet.

As I have said, I know what I like and I know what works for me.

Ciao,

Anita C.

Besides, even if they cleared the shelves, most sensible people would simply go to their closet and wear what they have on hand.

...Our politicians are living far away from reality and have lost any sincerity. That's true for your country as for mine. ...How can you trust in your president Bush? May be that he has no Monica, but thats not enough for being a trustworthy president. He is lying permanently.

micha (*having lost any respect for the most politicians*)

AHEM... This thread is trying to morph into a political rant.

However, I want to thank you, Micha, for providing us with the European disenchantment with our politicians. Except for your location, your views very much reflect my own. QUESTION: How do you know when a politician is lying to you? Answer: When you see his mouth moving!

On the other hand, it has been observed that in a democratic society, we may not get the leaders we need but we get the ones we deserve. After all, we voted for them. And I couldn't agree with you more about our politicians having lost touch with the people (and in some cases, with reality)!

But having said all of that, I do not believe that this board is homophobic (whatever that means). The clothing (or shoes) one chooses to wear reflects fashion. The way one chooses to live (including sexual preferances) reflects lifestyle.

She has returned! I just saw one of her posts somewhere.

She has emerged! I just saw one of her posts somewhere on the forum.

I'm not saying I don't believe her, just that I'm surprised that a girl who's used to wearing four inch heels "virtually every day" found four and a half such a leap.

They are nice shoes though.

Chris

Actually, DR1819 covered this same subject fairly well over on the For the Guys forum. But the short answer is that as you go up in height the less stable you become. The consensus of opinion, as I recall, is that once one gets to about 3 1/2" in heel height, even small incremental increases can have a very dramatic effect on the wearer. It may be that the gal (who, as I recall, was 6' tall) simply didn't balance very well on the higher heels. I could give you some engineering principles that apply, but DR1819 has a way of explaining it much better than I can.

Anyone who isn't aware of this had best wake-up and smell the coffee! ANY shoe that moves up and down on the foot is subject to cause blisters! Any one with foot blisters is already in trouble.

In the final analysis, fashion is really about sex. Nature itself teaches us that birds and other animals have their dances and other mating rituals to attract the opposite sex. Only with homo-sapiens, we tend to use clothing and fashion. However, this is a matter that remains in a constant state of flux. Quite often, what comes into fashion goes out of style. Plus, there's really no accounting for taste. What is perceived to be quite fashionable or chic in one society is often abhorred in another. Many societies prefer men to wear jewelry while some think it is - at best - weird or ugly. Some societies find make-up to be quite revolting while it is literally big business in most western cultures. Has society gone past men in heels? I doubt it very much, but let's first talk about exactly which society you had in mind?

It seems a bit odd though that she found those so hard. They may be five inches, but they look to have a half-inch platform, so they're really only four and a half. Going from four to four and a half isn't that big a leap...

Chris

I think somebody is developing a bad case of paralysis through analysis. She claims she found them them hard to walk in. I wasn't there and I've never tried on those shoes. Why not just take her at her word?

I'm neither sadistic nor masochistic. If pain is a part of it, I'm not for it.

High heels can, and should be ergonomically constructed, and can be done so without detracting from almost any of the current styles. For most styles, a quarter to an eighth of an inch in the right directions, plus an appropriate amount of padding or functional support, is all anyone needs to turn a painful heel into a delight.

It's a shame that some manufacturers just don't have the slightest clue.

I'm thankful for feedback forums like Zappos - it's really taken manufacturers to task.

On styles I like, but weren't in my size, I've posted numerous feedback over the last couple of years, and today, three times as many styles on Zappos come in my size. I've similarly taken them to task on cost. If I believe a shoe is one that I would like, but it's grossly overpriced, I let them know, too. One of my favorite styles for lower-heeled sandals are the Think! brand. The problem is that all are about twice as expensive as they should be, so my response was, "Think! If only I had a million dollars, or if the makers of the Think! line of shoes had Thunk!, they'd be offering these in prices (half) and sizes (13) that I could Afford! and Wear!. Since they apparently did Neither!, I have no choice but to shope Elsewhere! Fortunately, a Lot! of their competitors Do! offer their Excllent! shoes in both Sizes! and Styles! I can Wear!"

If I buy a shoe that's a delight to wear, I make sure I let the manufacturer (and their competitors) know why, in detail. Similarly, if a heel really stinks, I make I let them know why, in detail, as well.

Both the manufacturers and their competitors are paying close attention to Zappos feedbacks, so if you're buying from Zappos, make sure you throw in your two cents.

Well put, Dr1819.

Actually, I've already answered this one over on the For the Gals forum, but the bottom line for me is that it's usually quite impossible to have and maintain any kind of romantic relationship with someone who is in pain. If I have to make a choice between my S.O. wearing painful heels to please me or wearing comfortable shoes while we build a romantic relationship, I'll pick the comfortable shoes every time. To my mind the clothes and the shoes should enhance rather than detract, but in the final analysis they are merely "props" on the stage of the relationship, rather than the relationship itself.

That depends on your definition of affordable. Comfilon, in America, is not that high priced, but they admit it is more expensive than the cheap junk you get at the drug and discount stores. They say it's because they have to make small quantities, and larger sizes require more fabric. I think their stuff is good value. It's definitely more durable so I get more wearings and the cost per wearing is lower than the cheap junk. Check it out. I believe they sell through distributors in the UK, Germany, and other places.

www.comfilon.com

GWL

Your point is well taken. Personally, I am on a fixed income and I cannot afford to spend more than $5 on anything that will find it's way into the trash can after one run. Oddly enough, the amount I spend on hoisery seems to have little or no correlation to the durability. I've had some expensive stuff to run after just one outing while I'm still wearing some cheap stuff I bought years ago.

But my main point is that I cannot even consider spending upwards of $20 on so-called "male pantyhose", which is the going price in some of the catalogues I've seen.

Good grief, folks. School is starting up all over the area and everyone's out buying school supplies. Maybe they'd better bring along their Christmas shopping list as well. We've got to get rolling on this Xmas music. Time's a wasting! Daylight's BURNING! :rofl:

Well golllly! Here we are past Columbus day (Why do we celebrate that anyway instead of Leif Errikkson day? Oh yeah, now I remember, he conned the queen outta her jewels! No wonder that he had to sail 3000 miles for a getaway!!)and going on Halloween and nobody's even responded to my favorite thread yet! It's past time to dust-off those tapes and CD's about miseltoe & holly and let's get rolling on this Xmas music thing! :rudolf:Besides, who wants to be a part of the last minute rush? So let's get those jingle bells jingling!

Okay, everything I said before still goes. But if the 2 of you are not presently in marriage counseling, get back there and stay there until this crisis is resolved! One more thing, if the counselor yer seeing isn't producing any meaningful results, change the counselor.

It always seemed like that to me. Having to balance = strong ankles = better balance.

Strange that you should say that, Wolfie. Actually I have rather weak ankles, but I seem to do much better on heels. In fact, I have sustained my worst sprains (once I wore a cast for a month) in low heels. While I have had one or two spills on high heels -still, nothing serious. But for any kind of serious outdoor stuff (hiking, etc.) I always wear boots that support the ankles.

I have been wearing pantyhose daily for years. The spandex really helps support my arthritic joints and messages them all day long.

Cheers---

Dawn HH

FUR REAL? I've worn pantyhose off and on (mostly in cold weather) and always felt better, but I never knew why? Unfortunately, they don't really make affordable pantyhose for us guys.