kneehighs

I hope I didn't offend anyone here. At another forum I visit, a link to this site was given and I thought I'd like to see what my friends here think.

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==gasps for breath amidst the RNC== Nine West only offers size 12 online, according to the rep at the Lexington and 59th Store. And Nine West only ships within the U.S. Thought you guys might appreciate that information. If for some reason you're ever in Manhattan, the SOHO store on Broadway and Spring Street has the largest assortment of size 11's in stock in the city.

For those of you interested, Nine West now offers a size 12 online in a plethora of different styles. Visit HERE!!

It's about time we get together in New York City. Count me in!!

If I could share with you how many people who've come through my office as NLP "success stories" only to wind up repeating their deep life problems, it would scare you.

I'm into healing, not band-aids, and NLP is a short-term band-aid. The deep issues remain.

Okay, the issue on this particular subpoint on this thread was originally about NLP's relationship to Gestalt therapy and hypnosis. Let's not get to far off topic here. And NLP as a band-aid? More on that below.

Whether it's out of pocket of via insurance, therapy costs money. I'm all for the "best bang for the buck" approach.

Well, we both agree on this subpoint of this thread.

Again, I use what works. Gestalt therapy, in it's simplest terms, merely means that there are ways of going from one point to another, primarily by building the foundation, and then, when the patient is ready, putting in the keystone, thereby moving their awareness from one point to another in a "gestalt." The understanding, though, is that it still involves the laying of a good foundation, and that takes time.

A pragmatic response from someone arguing from a need to prove efficacy with scientifically backed research as your case citings against NLP demand.

I can be equally as pragmatic. I use what works too. NLP works with some people some of the time. So does REBT. So does hypnosis. I am not claiming it works for all people all of the time. To me, NLP is just a piece of the whole puzzle. It has it's purpose in it's own designated time and place. After all in your own bible it says in ECC, "there is a time and a place for everything."

Indeed, I agree that achieving symptomatic solutions even with NLP without addressing the deeper fundamental problems can actually result in an overall worse condition later. That does not mean it does not have it's time and place in the overall picture of personal improvement. Gestalt therapy, REBT, MBTI therapy, in fact, any therapy can have a time and a place to be used.

While many therapists employed by the Army use NLP (which has been particularly successful in their drug and alcohol rehabilitation efforts), the Army itself explored NLP in the 80s to improve human performance. Conclusion, above.

Here are some quotes:

"The study, conducted by the National Research Council (NRC), completed in 1988, and entitled Enhancing Human Performance, under the commission of the U.S. Army, examined the claims of the NLP.

"The NRC researchers checked out other frontiers of human potential as well, including accelerated learning, biofeedback, and neuro-linguistic programming (NLP). NLP which postulates connection between behavior and neurology and claims to train students to `read' others by noting their eye position and choice of language, was also dismissed as having a social rather than a neurological basis."

Here are some other resources:

http://www.cancer.org/docroot/ETO/content/ETO_5_3X_Neuro-Linguistic_Programming.asp?sitearea=ETO

http://books.nap.edu/books/0309037921/html/15.html

http://www.trancenet.org/research/2000druckman.shtml

I'll have to get back with you on this. I have a mini Barnes and Nobles personal improvement self help section in my living room to go through.

No and Yes.

Evil does come from the heart. But the Bible addresses the mind, first, then the heart:

Does everything have to be an argument with you about what is right and what is wrong? Whether the heart (feelings) come before the mind (thoughts) wasn't my point. Matt 15:

17"Don't you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and then out of the body? 18But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man 'unclean.' 19For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. 20These are what make a man 'unclean'; but eating with unwashed hands does not make him 'unclean.' "

Although NLP used gestalt techniques, it isn't based on hypnosis, but some NLP advocates the use hypnosis to achieve faster results.

Not true. Fritz Perls' influence on NLP was very minimal. Bandler and Grinder actually created NLP while students at UCSC in Greg Bateson's classroom. Bandler merely transcribed a seminar taught by Mr. Perls as part of a project including, but not limited to: Virginia Satir (family therapist) and Milton Erickson. Bateson encouraged the two to visit Erickson in Arizona. They learned from Milton Erickson one on one, mano a mano. If you read my post carefully, you would see that I said, "Alot of their findings are based on the techniques of Milton Erickson." I never said NLP was based on hypnosis in general.

Further, NLP and hypnosis both presuppose the use of a trance state (as any therapy actually does). NLP just doesn't require a formal trance induction like hypnosis teaches.

Faster results do not necessarily translate into better long-term success.

I agree completely here. I've studied therapy that takes years and studied therapy that takes seconds. Both can be effective. I've met people who have used therapy that lasted years and they were still at point one. Therapy that takes along time to translate into good results does not necessarily translate into more permanent results either.

Phobics who've gone through gestalt-based therapy often develop a different phobia, because the underlying fault with their coping mechanisms that allowed them to get into the first phobia are still there, even if the phobia is gone.

Well, Bandler in his newer works doesn't support Gestalt therapy. Besides, go through a index of any NLP book and you'll find Erickson cited many, many more times than Perls--if you even find Perls at all. So basically, the efficacy of Gestalt therapy as far as this thread is concerned is non topical.

The Army actually studied NLP back in the 80s to help improve "human performance," but concluded that the empiracle foundation of NLP was quite weak.

What documentation do you have for this? Because I have conlcusions from the Army that support positive peformance enhancements as generated through NLP.

I use a mixture of therapies, including gestalt, Biblical, and Congnitive Behavior, as I believe most address at least some of the many problems each client brings to my office. I have to be careful, though, for if I flip-flop between therapies it can confuse the client and result in mistrust. I find that consistant, loving application of Biblical principles works the best in the long run.

The bible addresses the heart and it is from the heart that good or evil comes from. How's that for a Christian viewpoint?

You better get them before I get them or else they'll be out! Just kidding, I wear a size 11 women's. Those are stylish--just buy them and be glad you did when your size was in supply.

Firefox Thanks for your arguments...there really is no limitation to the number of arguments one could come up with. Really, what I am aiming to do is create a Top Ten Reasons For Men To Wear High Heels. Then we could post that as some men need logic and rationalization to justify their feelings and behaviors. People in general need logic to support a decision usually made with emotions. The essence of sales is to excite the emotions first, then "rationalize" those emotions with solid logic. Men at this forum are no exception.

For instance, I find that when wearing stilleto pointy toe's, I feel feminine. And sometimes part of me wants me to choose between being masculine or feminine, but not both. Thus, this thought process can reduce my motivation to wear heels publicly during the daytime. But masculine and feminine can co-exist, independent of clothing. And even based on clothing, masculine and feminine can co-exist. These are some samples. This type of theorizing isn't for everyone either. I don't expect it to be.

Gene Have you ever studied Neuro Linguistic Programming? NLP is based on the findings of Richard Bandler and John Grinder. They studied some of the worlds foremost authorities in counseling and distilled their findings into a step-by-step format the average man can use to duplicate their results. Alot of their findings are based on the techniques of Milton Erickson. As you know, he was to hypnosis was George Washington was to the U.S. Presidency. He legitimized the science of hypnosis in the medical community in a world plagued by sensationalized media presentations. Take a look at some of their stuff. Richard has cured hundreds upon hundreds of phobics in minutes and I've even used some of his mechanics to help people lose weight.

Why don't we meet in New York City. I hear that Hotel Penn offers some reasonable rates, and if some guys are serious, I could call around here to help.

Okay, this is a thread that I didn't create about a guy who found some androgynous women's boots. Thought you guys might be interested in hearing what the "ladies" had to say.

http://www.thefashionspot.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=8824

Wow! Terrifically insightful post!

Counselors use this as a "method of last resort" in the process of systematic desensitization.

Sometimes, those who've learned helplessness behaviors fall into the B category because they've associated numerous past efforts with failure.

The only way to get them over this is to build such a repoir with them that they'd rather face their fear than risk loosing a solid friendship (many subjects have few friendships).

Seems to me rapport is easy to build. Usually, I find it easy to focus on how fast a person's chest rises and falls and mirror the phrases of my sentences in rythm with their breathing. Others begin with mirroring how loud a person talks. I remember I went to a junk yard when I lived in the Detroit area and the owner was loud, rude, and a little intimidating to be honest with you. He was unshaven, wearing a blue baseball cap, and was a hard ass. When he talked to me, I talked as loud as he did right back at him! That got him to respect me and take me seriously.

What I'm getting at is that rapport can be quickly built. I'm sure this isn't new to you, but if you listen carefully when people speak, they tend to subconsciously emphasize certain words over others. You can say, "I did not STEAL the bag," or you can say, "I did not steal the BAG." And by repeating back these favorite words to people, I find I can get rapport very fast. That's just one way of doing it though.

Okay, so the other half of the Learned Optimism thread works like this. Just as Martin Seligman forced the Group B dogs over the middle barrier over and over and over again and thus trained them to "think optimistically" on their own, so Seligman has a system to teach people how to think optimistically. Basically he borrowed the system ABC from Albert Ellis, another cognitive psychology movement pioneer. A stands for adversity and is the actual event, no personal opinion, no personal commentary, just the raw data of the event. B stands for your belief about the event. What do you think about the event? C stands for the consequences of what you think. How do you feel as a result of your thinking and believing such and such was bad? For example: A=I was at a nightclub and I crossed my legs exposing my high heel. Some girls next to me cupped their hands and put their mouths to each others ears and looked at me. B=I believe they were laughing or gossiping about my heels. C=I felt embarrassed. The next part of the ABC method is D. D stands for disputation and here is where you argue against your own limiting beliefs. An argument against B and C above might be. 1. Another girl came over to me and talked to me about my heels and she even asked me to dance with her in front of her friends. Thus, it was no real big deal. 2. Maybe they were just surprised to see a man in heels as this is indeed uncommon. But uncommon doesn't mean bad, even in their minds. 3. Chicke Little--making mountains out of molehills here. etc.etc.. What kinds of arguments have you guys used for yourself in defense of street heeling? Seems like there are alot ways to argue for it and I was just hoping to get at least SOME feedback. Thanks

Okay guys, I'm not usually into long posts so bear with me on this one. You guys have heard about Ivan Pavlov right? He's the guy that discovered Classical Conditioning. What happened was that he took dogs that were hungry and right at the moment in time when he fed them food and they started to salivate, he rang a bell. After repeating this a few times, he discovered that by just ringing the bell, he could get the dogs to salivate. Hence, Pavlovian or Classical Conditioning was born. Now around the 1960's, a couple of U Penn graduate students began a similar study on dogs. Martin Seligman and Steve Maier took 3 groups of dogs: A, B, and C. First, Group A dogs were exposed to shock that they could terminate and control by pushing a panel with their nose. Group B dogs were subected to shock that they could not directly control and terminate. Their results were completely dependent on Group A's response. If Group A escaped shock so did they; and if Group A did not escape, neither did they. Group C didn't receive shock either way. The next day the dogs were placed on a court with 2 sides. Half of the court was shocked, half of it wasn't. Naturally Group A dogs jumped the middle barrier to safety. So did Group C. But Group B dogs remained motionless and merely soaked up the shocks like wet sponges. They had learned helplessness. The same thing occurs with us when we street heel. Many times our confidence is based on our past "failures" Some of us, not all of us, have learned to associate more pain than pleasure to street heeling. We have put on our beloved heels, and soon our heart starts to race. We might get sweaty hands, sweaty foreheads, look nervous, worry about what other people may be thinking, some may even feel guilty..and pretty soon, we have similarly learned helplessness. Back to the study. Seligman and Maier in follow up visits with Group B dogs took the dogs back to the same court where half was shocked and the other half wasn't. But instead of just letting the dogs lie limp and "die" they intervened. They physically dragged the dogs back and forth over and over and over until pretty soon the dogs learned that they could escape the shock on their own and did so. In fact, in Seligmans own words, "the cure was 100% reliable and permanent." (Seligman, '90)Seligman had succeeded in teaching his formerly pessimistic dogs learned optimism. He had reversed the learned helplessness and created a new dynamic for the Group B dogs. And the same thing can also be done for humans like us! More on that in part two tomorrow, as it's getting late now. Please bear with me as this has relevance for the forum FOR THE GUYS and offers a way to empower men to live and dress the way they want to live. Thanks.

I voted definitely subdued. When I do daytime street heeling, my heels are always tastefully complimented with a pair of boot cut pants or jeans with only .5"-1" visible at stand still. The shoes invariably compliment my entire outfit enhancing my whole fashion image with congruency and good taste. If I wear more daring pointy toed stilletos, the outfit becomes more "trendy" and "cutting edge" so as not to make my shoes stand out and is limited to nightime extravaganza's in Manhattan.

Wow you sure got some good responses to those heels. Even good 'ol Emery is in there supporting you! I know I made a mistake by putting pics of a guy in stilletos--with links to mild fetish shoe pics as well. Sorry bout that.

Just recently at Style.com I tried posting again. The thread is closed because it achieved archived status in only two days, but the responses were definitely better this time around. It's topic 43472 titled, "Conservative Women's Shoes on Men." You may have to search a few days back.

http://forum.style.com/forums/fashion/index.ssf

I was just browsing Zappos and thought you guys might like these from Franco Sarto, in a U.S. 12!

http://www.zappos.com/n/p/dp/2283045/c/60/g/women/s/15.html

These may not really qualify as high heels per se, but for a more shy street heeling guy, they would seem to be the perfect starter. They'd blend perfectly with a suit, or just about anything from a mans wardrobe that is.

I'm straight. I feel that sexual orientation is something that you are born with. So to me that means that sexual orientation is not really a choice. It's your inner thought life (and feelings) that cause your outer behavior, so the next best way to identify your orientation to me would be looking at your fantasies when you are alone. If you consistently fantasize about men, then maybe you have homosexual inclinations. If you consistenly fantasize about women, then maybe you have heterosexual inclinations. Whichever fantasy you feel most comfortable with could be indicative of your orientation. One thing is for sure though, there is no correlation between sexual orientation and wearing clothes of the opposite gender--enough of one to be statistically significant.

Hey Thighboot guy, Wow, those are some really interesting stories you are telling there. It's great to hear the women at the front desk were supportive of you. Can I ask what part of Columbus you are staying in? The reason I ask is because my grandma lives in Columbus. Actually it's a suburb called Upper Arlington. Thus from my many visits to Columbus throughout my lifetime, I've learned a little about Columbus. Have you had a chance to go to the downtown area at all? There is a pretty big mall down there called The City Center. It has your usual retail giant anchor stores and last time I was there it was still upscale. It might be fun place to go heeling as there are multiple restaurants down there too. And on the way down High Street to downtown you could drive through Ohio State University (if you really want to test your courage). But there is one place between Ohio State and Downtown (on High Street which takes you all the way downtown) called Short North. Its kind of an artsy neighborhood and might be conducive to safe thighbootman heeling. How about the German Village also located downtown? Some cool cobblestone streets there to maneuver through. Oh well, just thought I'd shoot some choices past you, thats all.

I saw these pics on Getty images too. I was wondering if he has ever played the part of a woman? I haven't seen Hairspray yet, but what was his real reason for wearing heels? Any speculations out there?

Saturday night out in Manhattan was neither the absolute best nor the absolute worst, but qualified for interesting comment in both sides. First, I talked with three different women. In each case, after first establishing rapport, I showed the woman my pointy toed pencil thin stilleto boot. And then I asked what her opinion was. One girl said that since she had grown up in New York, nothing at all surprised or shocked her anymore especially in terms of fashion. But with people that dare to be different, she said she was, "actually impressed by them." Case one for the good side. Another girl actually started asking questions about my heel wearing history. "So when did you decide you wanted to wear heels?" "How long have you been wearing heels for?" Her inquisitve nature was warm and respectful. She said they were actually sexy. But she said that if she saw a guy wearing heels like this in the street of the city, she would think he was gay. I felt the reaction was more good than bad in general and gave this a "good" score. Then another girl actually said, "you wear them well." A compliment in the least. Then she went on to say, "if I saw a guy in the streets of the city wearing those I would say to myself, 'straight crossdresser'" She then asked me if I was wearing panties? I said, "no" and she suggested that since I was already wearing heels I should expand my horizons and substitute my uncomfortable mens underwear for some soft and silky panties.

Man who dresses as a man who likes to wear heels. It's nice to know there are other people like yourself in the world, that is really why I am here.

Great post Gene....I was just banned at a forum too!

A guy anxiously walks into a sex shop and runs up to the salesperson at the counter and explains his situation,"Hey, I'm going out of town on business for a few weeks and my girlfriend, is like borderline nympho. I'm not sure what to get her." The salesperson said, "Let me show you my voodoo dildo." So the salesman turns around and from high atop a shelf, he pulls down a box, about the size of a shoebox, in varnished wood, with elaborate floral engravings on the top. Then he opens it, and wrapped in soft, red silk and velvet, is a dildo. The the salesman says, "watch this." And in the tonality of an experienced drill sargeant says, "Voodoo dildo, DOOR" And magically, the dildo lifts itself out of the box and through the thin air proceeds to fly right into the key hole on the door. And then it starts thrusting in and out, and in and out (he, he, when i used to be "single" I'd layer in the sexual metaphorical parrallels to prime my date's emotionally). Now the guy's jaw drops to the ground and as he watches in amazement, the salesman in the same military confidence says, "Voodoo dildo, box!" And instantly, the voodoo dildo flys from out of the keyhole right back into the box from which it came. And after some haggling and negotiating, the guy leaves with his chin up and a brand new voodoo dildo under his arm. So he leaves on his business trip and now his girlfriend is alone. And after some time alone, and not wanting to give into the urge but feeling the pressure mount from within (he, he) she stares at the voodoo dildo once, gives it a double take, and finally gives in with the command, "voodoo dildo, my p$$$y" And as expected, it mysteriously does it's job. Entering into her with poised elegance and thrusting with equally graceful rythm, she is in bliss. But then she realizes she doesn't know the command to get the voodoo dildo out of her. So in a frenzy of desperation she manages to--despite the constant gyrating of her hips and thighs--get to the phone and dial 911. "I have a voodoo dildo stuck in me, please help" To which the 911 attendant replies, "Yeah right, click." So in a persistent effort to get this thing out of her, she wobbles over her garage door, and writhes her way into the seat. She drives as if she was drunk, with gyrating hips and thighs and all, she makes way down the highway to the hospital. Weaving in and out of her lane, when not but a moment later, She sees blue and red lights in her rearview mirror and realizes she is being pulled over. The officer walks over and taps on her window and she rolls her window down. "Ahem, excuse me miss, but what could possibly cause you to drive like that?" "I swear to you officer, it's my voodoo dildo!" To which the officer exclaims, "Voodoo dildo my ass!"