hiddenheels

On 12/8/2023 at 3:06 PM, Gige said:

When I am out in a store or event and wearing a pair of heeled boots, I have learned not to care a bit about what anyone else should think of me should they notice. I, probably similar to others, have had a few negative comments come my way from narrow-minded people. I do not worry about those insomuch as I do about the potential of being harassed and/or threatened by those who would deem my choice of footwear to be “abnormal” for whatever reason. If I still resided in the very large city that is within my state, my feelings would be different about when and where I wear a pair of heeled boots. Given my concerns of threats of violence being leveled against me by a very less tolerant rural population, I am extremely careful about when and where I will wear a pair of heeled boots in public. There are a few upscale stores and museums near me and I do feel comfortable in my boots within these places. I would not, however, take any of my five-inch pointed toe boots into a home improvement store. It is sad that I feel this way but it is the reality of the times and the places where I live.  

It takes practice. Practice, and more practice. After a while I chalked it up to "I'm actually OK feeling uncomfortable" and kept pushing myself. Give it time.

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On a side-note, I have never seen another man wearing heels out and about. Disappointing. I recently was trying on heels at a store, and asked the salesperson if other guys did this, her response was simply "never". With Amazon I can imagine that it is much easier to simply order online.

Oops, went Christmas shopping and forgot to hide my heels!

[it's a skirt]

Was wondering around the plaza for about 3 hours. No one said a word, although I saw some people do double-takes. Heels are 4.5".

Hey! Been a few years since I started this thread. Much more comfortable with skirts now, don't really give it a second thought. I told my wife, she's not supportive, so like with heels, it's something I need to work through myself. Skirts and heels, usually no problems, but still wished it was more mainstream. Or at least you could see guys wearing them once in a blue moon, but never.

Agree with HappyinHeels, it's likely that this was always in me, but just came to realize it now. The good thing is that the anxiety has gone away. I'm not saying that there are no butterflies at all, or that I don't sometimes get into my head before getting out of the car, but the progress over the past 2 years has been huge. I've often shopped for heels or skirts while wearing heels or skirts. I tend not to wear both at the same time, maybe one day.

Tend to frequent malls or restaurants and just enjoy myself. It's a LOT of fun.

On 5/2/2023 at 2:55 AM, mlroseplant said:

I would be curious to know how long the pattern would stay on the bottom.

Depends on if it's painted or if the entire bottom material is formed from a material of that print. Do agree, if it's painted then it doesn't last too long (have a few shoes with painted bottoms).

9 hours ago, Puffer said:

I agree, and in a way square-toed sandals are worse imho.   As the toes are exposed, fully or nearly so, the failure of the insole to follow their outline fairly closely looks both ugly and absurd to my eyes.   (In the other direction, sandals with a sharply pointed (usually extended) toe can look equally absurd, for much the same reason.

The 'duck-bill' toe shape spoils these otherwise elegant sandals, as does the 'roach-killer' shape of the second pair:

        

At least with closed-toe footwear, one cannot be sure what lies within, and even a square(ish) toe can pass muster!   But I agree with those who consider an almond toe to be the most natural and flattering - it follows the foot outline fairly closely - but a pointed toe can look very elegant if not too exaggerated and unwieldy in overall length.

Completely agree! I did try out the square-toe style, but it just repulsed me. And see-through toe-space, not my thing...

On 5/1/2023 at 4:26 PM, spikesmike said:

Heelers : A masculine looking boot. Is that what this site has come to. [OFFENSIVE LANGUAGE REMOVED]. Where is your pride? You talk about this membership dwindling. That we no longer hear from our female members Well hello, why would they fallow tasteless crap shoes that look like ARMY boots? I am beginning to consider leaving. The only reason I haven't dropped out thus far is because there is still one or two who still wear descent HIGH HEELS.  This is HHPlace. These are HIGH HEELS.  --->     Mike

I get what you are saying, but sometimes I do want to look as masculine as possible, and in those cases the boots above are what I would be looking for. Other times I am in the mood for 5" stilettos. Depends on my mood, no need to exclude one for the other.

That post was intense, but pebblef's interpretation rung true for me too. I was my worst enemy. No one cares. (well, my partner does, so it's a no-go at home) Blamed myself for so long, and acceptance did not come until recently, after decades of struggle and confusion. If I could go back, and provide some wisdom to myself, this would be one of them. Alas, that is not to be, but hopefully I still have a good number of years ahead of me.

On 5/6/2023 at 1:17 PM, Cali said:

It's been cold and rainy for the past week.  One a brief moment of sunlight I tried out my new JS Therisa.  I happy with these.

Look really nice! I don't have any of these styles, but still working figuring out my style, so am not opposed to it. If it's wood, does it provide more stability?

On 5/3/2023 at 2:34 AM, mlroseplant said:

To be fair, I have never been required to wear high heels, and I don't think I should like to be for any reason. I can see where the notion of shackles comes from, and I can also see that I am either a freak of nature, or I am willing to go far beyond the normal effort to be able to wear my heels whenever possible.

I've said for years that 2 inch heels are not heels, and I don't see what the big fuss is about.

Exactly! No one should be *required* to do anything. However, I have found that I *desire* to wear them, and that desire is strong enough to push me to wear it, even though am a guy. Some do ask how I can wear what I wear, well..., because I don't look for excuses not to.

On 3/2/2023 at 3:18 AM, mlroseplant said:

It has been many years since somebody actually asked "why," and I usually answered as briefly as possible, "because I like them." Nowadays, the two main things strangers say, as noted by several others above, are "How do you walk in those/I can't believe you can walk in those" and some version of "I really like your shoes."

This. No "why"s, just compliments. But almost always, nothing. All the worried I had were only in my head.

*At* the superbowl? Or celebrating somewhere else?

Impressive!

On 2/11/2023 at 3:35 AM, mlroseplant said:

3) I know I'll catch a lot of flak for this, and that's fine, but I have never understood this "moving up to boots" business. It seems to me that boots are the easy ones to wear as a guy. It's the pumps and sandals, the more delicate footwear, that is a step up in boldness. Of course, some people actually like boots. Some people are very enthusiastic about boots. I happen to not be one of those people.

Moving up to boots... I really do love boots too, and I probably have more ankle boots than pumps. I started with full knee-length boots, under jeans, then started to prefer ankle boots, and those are still probably my favourite. But I wear them under jeans, just the look I've gone for in the past.

More recently, as I've become more comfortable wearing ankle boots, I've started experimenting with pumps, but those I don't prefer under jeans (although they look OK), so ended up buying skinny jeans to match. That was an obstacle (internally, to wear pumps with skinny jeans), but getting the hang of that slowly. But I've never gotten around to experimenting with skinny jeans and boots. So "moving up to boots" I think is not necessarily a moving up in a sense of difficulty, but rather trying to figure out how to fashion it. Need to experiment, but am not sure how well skinny jeans and ankle boots go together. And I think I only have 2 knee-high boots?

I do agree with the general sentiment of the responses here that these shoes are noticeable, if they have a heel more than ~1", and stilettos certainly. However, I'm trying to wear what I like, so it'll likely be high stilettos. And as to why "men don't engage in theatre" when it comes to fashion, I don't know... If anyone argues, then women can wear whatever they want, and we (are supposed to) have gender equality, so f off. Equality doesn't just go one way.

Having said all of this, the worst comment I've heard was some guy walking behind me towards an escalator commenting "hope you don't have to run in those". Not a comment I would consider mean. Otherwise, I've only received good wholesome comments, all from women.

7 hours ago, mlroseplant said:

2) I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but none a them Steve Madden pumps are leather. You'd have to go back at least 10 years to find SMs made of leather. They're made to a price point, after all. That's not to say they aren't a decent quality shoe, but they're not leather, as least not the pumps. Some of the sandals might still be leather, but I doubt it.

Write more later, but just quickly, the thing is advertised as Leather, it's imprinted inside the shoe along with the size. These heels cost $125CAD, would expect them to be leather. Can you clarify? These are it: https://www.stevemadden.ca/products/vala-black-leather

Have serious issues posting photos of myself on the internet, so as much as I would like to share this, I cannot. If I can come up with a creative way of doing so, such that someone close to me would not recognize the photo of me, I will. In the meantime, I'm sorry.

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Had a chance to go to another mall today, was looking for something specific that is only in that mall. Anyway, was way too obsessed with my new pumps to not give it a go. Tried them on in the morning, and was sad to see that they did not fit too well, was a bit too small...? Thought feet expand during the day. I still wanted to try them out, they're so gorgeous. So drove to the mall, same skinny jeans, white top & black jacket. Got out of the car and started walking, no butterflies. Very quickly noticed that the pumps were oh so comfortable! In terms of comfort, they were beyond expectation. I was surprised. Is it because of the leather? I know the shoe must fit properly, but still.. I have other shoes that fit, but aren't this comfortable.

This mall has the same store as where I bought the black Steve Madden pumps I mentioned above. Went to the store, just to check it out. To my surprise, they had a bunch of "nude" versions! Same Vala, leather! And they had my size! I couldn't resist, bought that as well. Haven't unboxed it yet.

Did what I needed to do at the mall, then went to a coffee shop for lunch. The pumps are super-comfortable. I'm happy.

Also happy since there are no more butterflies. Love the look, skinny jeans & pumps. Maybe I'll work up to skinny jeans and boots in the near future!

6 hours ago, mlroseplant said:

On this particular occasion, I was wearing my Nine West "Sizzle" oxfords. This first picture is not a picture from that morning, but it depicts the outfit and the conditions very well.

As to where I walk, I simply walk around my neighborhood. I live in a small town (pop. 15,000) in the midwest U.S. The second photo shows a street close to my home. Our city requires the homeowner to maintain the sidewalks (or pavements, if you must), so most are in reasonably good shape, but there is just enough irregularity there to make things interesting. Add in a touch of snow or ice, and it can be really interesting. Good training for the real world!

Cool! Should try that... Myself, I try to go to stores/malls, where some (~0? ) people do wear heels, just feels more "normal" to me. Anyway, do need to bring my stamina up. Thanks for the tips.

14 hours ago, Cali said:

Sometimes the chain will have a website that will tell which stores in a certain region has that shoe in your size in stock. Saves driving around.  I've been wearing skinny jeans for years now since I like to wear my knee high boots on the outside.

I did try that! On their website they didn't have it in black, only in Neutral color, it's not exactly the greatest website, or stock tracker...

6 hours ago, mlroseplant said:

If you're ever in the market again, Steve Madden has another model called "Daisie," which is very similar to the Vala, but without the severely set back heel. Highly recommend, and you can usually find any number of these on Poshmark for quite a bit cheaper. Most people selling them either never wore them, or wore them once. I mean, let's be honest--they are beyond most people's skill set.

Try looking for jeans on Poshmark, too! There's a ton of 'em really cheap.

Thanks for the tips! You're right, Daisie is very similar, and I'll keep my eye out for them! Never used Poshmark, but will check it out.

Found the "nude" version of the Steve Madden's I bought a few days ago. The black ones turned out to be so comfortable and easy to walk in, when I saw the "nude" version, I couldn't resist, although I really need to not buy more stuff now...

So my latest challenge to myself is to wear tight jeans with pumps, as I really like the look. Have previously worn a pair of black jeans and black 5" stiletto pumps, matt black non-leather, a combination I think looks fantastic. I also have a pair of 4" heels, which are leather, and they're super comfortable, but they have a small platform, and are more office-style than elegant. Been complimented when wearing either one! I've been on the lookout for some very elegant, **leather**, black pumps. But have so many heels that I didn't want to spend a lot...

Was at a department store a few days ago, just browsing around, lots of clearance stuff. Checked out the shoes, not expecting to find anything, as it's a pretty lame dept store otherwise. But my eyes caught one (and only one! how sad) shoe with ~4" heels. It was a very attractive looking pair of pumps, black, leather. These ones specifically:

https://www.stevemadden.ca/products/vala-black-leather

Not sure why that store sells shoes from all sorts of different brands, but whatever. Clearance, ~$90, plus 30% discount. Awesome! But only had like 2 sizes, nowhere near close to what I need. Disappointing.

The shoes looked so gorgeous, couldn't get them out of my mind, but didn't want to pay the full $125 (from the link above).

A few days later, visited another store from the same chain, hoping, maybe. Found the heels, but not in my size.   On my way home, drove by another store from that chain, and after some searching found the shoes, those shoes, and they had 1 pair in my size! Quickly tried them on, perfect fit, and bought them... Was ~$70 all in. Probably my most expensive purchase in a long time, but it's exactly what I was looking for. 4.5" heel, matt black leather, pumps. So am happy! Won't have a chance to try them outside for quite a while though.

1 hour ago, Rockpup said:

This color looks amazing, and the lining is also red. Too bad they are $$$.

Oh can definitely see why they're so attractive! Wouldn't say no to a pair...

12 hours ago, mlroseplant said:

I am happy to report that after a month and a half of conscious effort to walk in heels more, I can now do my 2.2 mile (3.5 km) loop without really thinking about it. I probably won't do that one very often until spring, simply because it's often cold enough or windy enough that I don't want to walk more than a mile at a time. Last Sunday morning was an exception, with temperatures right around freezing with no wind. My average pace was pretty slow, at around 22:00 per mile, but I did have to be careful of the many patches of ice everywhere that came from the refreezing of the previous day's melting snow. Call me crazy, but I feel this need to keep the rubber side down. I don't get up nearly as fast as I used to.

Out of curiosity, what sort of shoes are these? Also, is this in a park or city-blocks? Just wondering so maybe there's something similar here that I could do.

On 10/19/2021 at 4:03 AM, pebblesf said:

I understand, we all have had these fears, don't feel alone.  It is always best to keep your personal life separate from your work life, so I would never recommend wearing heels to work.  Find some nice used riding boots with modest heels, and wear them while driving or shopping.  You will feel better, no one will notice...  Start slowly, building your confidence.  Take care buddy...

While I also do not want to mix heels and work, I think it is OK to push things a bit and compromise. There are (women's) combat boots with 2-3" heels (and some thick soles) that are not obviously heels, but still are a bit... Maybe try those. I've worn those to work, and I dare anyone to comment on them as heels.

For me, when I put on heels, it's "hey, cool!" for a few seconds. But when I take them off, I'm like "Oh, yeah... this is how things normally look, darn" for quite some time.

Wow, time is flying! Haven't posted here in what seems like forever. Have been making good progress, and have received some good feedback. For heels, I've gotten a few skinny torn jeans which I think look awesome, so been wearing them (have them in blue, black and white). I really like this look:

Ripped jeans with pumps. So been experimenting with that. Blue jeans, yellow matte 5" pumps. Most recently I've settled onto something like the above image, black jeans, black pumps, white shirt, and a black jacket (it's cold outside!). Once wore this outfit with my 4" pumps, and some guy complimented me, and started asking questions ("how far do you live", "come here often", etc); the conversation didn't last long as I didn't feel comfortable.

Recently I felt adventurous. 4" pumps were easy to wear, but have another with 5" heels, matte black, so I thought what the heck, and went with those. Parked by a mall, shopped around, went to the other side of the mall to a coffee shop, did some work, then more shopping, total 2 hours? Standing in line at the coffee shop, this lady comes up to me telling me how I "rock" those heels, and she couldn't do it. The compliment felt good, was really appreciated.

Wore the same outfit yesterday at a different mall, after about 3 hours I was tired, both of my errands, and my feet. Need to get my endurance up a bit. But I felt great, and still am feeling great!

It's so nice to be out and about, presenting myself how I feel comfortable. In guy cloths, I'm invisible. So these compliments are certainly noticed!

On 10/19/2022 at 9:12 AM, pebblesf said:

We all like some posititve reinforcement now and again for sure.  Perhaps no one said anything, but they noticed, and were impressed for sure.  

During flying I've had a few people comment on how much they like my skirt, but never had a comment on the heels... My favourite was the security person, a young lady, commented how much she liked my skirt, but was sad that her mother doesn't allow her to wear something like it.

Whenever I can, in or out, but it's a bit rare as finding time alone to do so is a challenge. Not nearly as often as I wish...