p1ng74

9 hours ago, HappyinHeels said:

While what Chorlini said initially made my eyebrow go up I realize there's a certain amount of truth to it. I believe women everywhere want to feel comfortable with whichever man is at their side. Certainly women committed to a meaningful marriage want to. I also recognize there are those who actually view men as an accessory and those unions are destined for divorce. Good marriages and great relationships are those which put shared values of faith, loyalty, and effective communication above everything else. I believe that's the point p1ng74 is making. He likes his fashion sense but likes his marital sense even more. HinH

It doesn’t have to be a choice of one over the other, as we can see by examples of people here who have mutual understandings with their spouse on heels.  I think it takes time, effort, and creativity like everything else in a marriage.  

Padre

Ice

@TKHeels I personally like cleaner lines where the boot meets the pants, so in this case I prefer the bottom picture with the jeans over the boots.  Those boot shafts are loose and don’t follow the shape of your calves, whereas the skinny jeans are the opposite and hug them tightly.  I think the combination makes it look like your legs are too skinny for the boot, despite having a prominently displayed zipper.  

On 1/8/2019 at 9:11 AM, Chorlini said:

 

That's because to her you are also an accessory. How you look beside her reflects on her just as much as her own clothing choices do.

 

 

I agree with the spirit of this statement too actually, and I don’t think it means that men are relegated to decorative roles next to our wives.  

We talk a lot in fashion about a “matching outfit” that pairs articles going together.  If you spend time watching people, you start to also see patterns of couples that “match” each other in the way they look and act, and based on the matching attributes you can tell that have been together or married a long time.  As with fashion, women tend to have a keener eye for this, but it can be learned.  This is how people who work high end retail and sales develop intuitions on whether two people are “together” when they are browsing a store.  

It is natural for married people to want to appear to be “together” when they are out and about, and over time our wardrobe and overall look gravitates towards habits that result in my wife and I “matching” each other.  The details happen unconsciously, as overthinking it usually yields awkward results.  When we go out, I look like my wife’s husband, and she looks like my wife, and it all happens without much thinking.  

This context is significant because for me, wearing heels can be a huge disruption of this.  My wife never wears heels.  I looked through her shoes once and only found one pair over 1”.  She also rarely wears skirts and dresses.  In our 11 years of marriage this continues to work because it “matches” us as a couple.  It is going to take time before it would ever make sense for me to wear 4” heels when we go out together.  Currently, they would clash with the loafers that she usually wears.  

Based on inspiration here at HHP, I have discovered that it is relatively easy for a man to add heels into fashion in a way that evolves whatever they already have going on.  Since I do a bit of traveling and working alone, it’s a fun way to break up monotony and push creativity.  But I also realize I have to be realistic when it comes to relationships.  Accepting an individual fashion style is a much smaller task than evolving two people’s wardrobe and habits as a single unit.  Communication and creativity will prevail, and we’ll work something out.  

2 hours ago, Gudulitooo said:

Same question for women that prefer not to wear heels.

I suppose the answer is when you start to strut.

Or to feel the pressure of your weight on the ball of your foot.

Or to feel your toes squeezed.

Depends on the wearer's physical ability, and weight. Thus the average height limit for women should be higher.

G.

Most men are clueless about their physical ability to wear heels, and they are missing out.  I bet women who wear heels had to work up to their height limits and figure it out one way or another.  It takes some practice to develop the muscle memory to wear heels without thinking.  

I learned to shift the weight back to the heel after standing for a straight hour the wrong way.  When the balls of the feet find instant relief after growing discomfort you remember this natural state and learn to settle into it from the start.  

Same with walking.  The ball and heel of your foot are your “strong” points that should be doing the work.  If walking hammers and squeezes your toes then you might be doing it wrong.  When I started wearing cowboy boots years ago I discovered my arches had gotten lazy.  Just a little focus on flexing the arch, pushing the ball of the foot down to complete each step makes a big difference.  Lazy form while waking is probably the cause of many people’s foot discomfort.  Even in flats, if you don’t work the heel and ball of the foot together, you could end up smashing your toes into the toe box with each step rather than stepping with the ball of the foot.  

Paramore

Weary

@pebblesf I agree some notice, and it might take time for people to process it and think of something to say.  In the meantime, I’m enjoying the feeling of wearing and walking in an extra inch.  Went out shopping and walked around a bit yesterday, logging 3.3 miles according to the health app.  Tonight I decided to play with the suede look:

From

President

Giga

Knives

Boys

Market

Goldilocks

So the boot shaft is not completely hidden, but I’m thinking nobody else around me will ever figure out what is going on just by looking lol.  

Pan-pan

D-Day

Jefe

Pontiac

Despite January, it is so warm here we are running air conditioners.  But that is not stopping me from wearing OTK boots in to work.  No one knows except me, though we will see if anyone asks about the heels...

Gregorian

Don’t overthink this - what you had on looks just like what many men wear without even thinking about it:

Cell