I think confidence, in no matter what social norm you are defying; becomes emboldened on an increasing trend because freedom is scary.
Wearing high heels, wearing leggings, wearing skirts and dresses all set boundaries… yes set because it sets the boundary further back then what people expect. It is further back than what people’s own boundaries are and says, “for me, it is fine for men to wear these things”. That challenge to their boundary is infuriating, but it brings on this huge question; What are you going to do about it?”
For some of us we quickly learn… NOTHING. People do nothing. Most we find… just accept it. The worst offenders though… yep, they are all just talk. Big deal...
So then you realize, “if they are all just talk about wearing high heels, then most others things they will be all talk about as well”. And they will. Some of this knowledge naturally comes as we age, but for those who have taken bolder steps, quickly learn they can be bold in a lot more things.
Sadly, for some; when we set boundaries… meaning we push them back and include more areas than most would like wearing high heels, it becomes a mirror because they realize they cannot confront their own fears. Deep down inside they want the confidence that many of us have, but just cannot find it in themselves to just not care what others in society think or say about them. That is downright angering to them because they are frustrated with themselves.
I set some boundaries this week and the result was predictable but sad. A real estate agent wanted me to extend the contract or they would level a $1000 service fee on me. I said no. No extension and I am not paying your fee because that is extorsion. They replied they worked hard, to which I said, “real estate is a service-based industry and is results based, not work based”. They countered that I was bullying them, but the truth was I countered in a way they did not expect, nor could they argue against it. And that is what you get when you set boundaries: anger.
They claim only 5% of people have this level of confidence, but its because we are two steps ahead of people. I knew I did not need to pay that $1000 BS fee because to clear up the issue would mean going to the real estate commission... a ding on their license to sell property. $1000 is not worth it for them. Just as people who wear high heels know, no one is going to do anything about them wearing high heels...even in church. News flash: there is no consequences for defying most societal norms other then getting snide comments that are meaningless.
Freedom is always great for any person, but whether extending freedom of speech, freedom of dress, or even freedom of wearing whatever shoes you want: it becomes very scary to other people. They are not mad that you are embolden enough to wear high heels in public; they are mad because they are scared to go against social norms themselves.