Assaulted?

[tightsnheels]

I was reading a post the other day and it got me to wondering, how many of us men and women have been assaulted for our clothing or shoe choices? I know we men tend to think women get away with any choices they want so it will be interesting to here from them and see if that sterotype is true. We also tend to think we are in a lot of danger from our choices as well and from what I've seen and heard there does seem to be a danger out there so give a vote and tell us your story.

T&H

[Ninanoora]

I would choose both Male jeered and Female jeered but cant choose both so i picked Male jeered at, it happens more often. I hear mockings, name calling occasionally, mostly usually by drunk people. It may be because of my accent, they think im russian some older finnish people have issues with russians, I guess from second world war, and history, the war between Finland and Russia. Sometimes I just get bad eye from older women. Nothing major, it doesnt affect me in any way, usually it affects my friends more than myself.

[Dan J]

Never been outright assaulted, though the thought has occured. Generally, I get no comments at all, which is what I prefer. I have found women to be more vocal than men, both positive and negative. From the men, it's typically a raised eyebrow, or a smile, sometimes a comment, more for the leather I'm wearing with the boots, not the boots themselves. But the women do comment - most of the time very positive. It appears to depend most on the location and appropriateness of what I'm wearing and where. Dan

["Wellies"]

I think it is sad that people can't let the past fade away. Nina's telling us about jeers from some Finnish folk is a case in point. Someone of Nina age can't possibly be responsible for what happened during the Second World War. And to make matters worse for Nina she is not Russian! Even if she was Russian it would make no difference. If anyone is to blame, then blame the politicians. You will never win Nina, but you seem to have plenty of friends in this forum.

[Ninanoora]

I think it is sad that people can't let the past fade away. Nina's telling us about jeers from some Finnish folk is a case in point. Someone of Nina age can't possibly be responsible for what happened during the Second World War. And to make matters worse for Nina she is not Russian!

You will never win Nina, but you seem to have plenty of friends in this forum.

Thank you. I'm okay with it, its same for all, it doesnt happen so often it would have affect on me. And if your wearing something "provocative" it's acceptable that someone comments about it, its just how they do it could be bit thought further.

[Dan J]

Well put, Wellies. And I agree. Dan

[tightsnheels]

Hmm...Eighteen responses and 202 views; so far the question seems to intrest but not enough to get a response. Perhaps the views are by people not in the group?

It is nice to see that male nothings ever happened seems to be the winner so far though. However There apparently arn't too many women responding though.

Thank you Nina for your comments and I hope you have better fortune in the future. Wellies is right that at your age you are blameless for the past.

My experiance is much the same as Dan J so I won't bother with readdressing it.

Come on lets hear some feed back Guys and Gals.

T&H

[Allu(M)]

Hi everybody. I am finnish male and I keep myself quite openminded. Finland have always have people from abroads: swedish, estonian, russian, german, british. If we hadn't those brave foreigners we had no forest or other industry, foreign trade, foreign recearch workers. However many people are too nationalistic. Personally I respect people who try to develp themself or make them financially self-sufficient. Whatever your job is, it pay the bills. Whatever you stydy it makes you wiser, Where ever you travel it helps you to understand other people. If you do nothing to improve your life then I will despise you. We had civil war before WW2 and everyone haven't even forgot that civil war. If somebody's grandfather killed another's grandfather then first's grandchild is criminal like his grandfather. And another's grandchild must revenge. Baltic women get more attention than finnish women. The baltic women have learned to be representative from childhood. They like to be pretty and that is not harmful to anyone. Finnish girls are jealous to them. Baltic women really turn your head even you walk by your wife or girlfriend. Drunk finnish male try to contact them and after rejection he keeps them prostitute. They never treat finnish women that way after being rejected. How would things be, if that finnish male wasn't drunk and he would be accepted by baltic woman. Then other finnish male were jealous to this guy because his girlfriend is sexy, humoristic, exotic and at least different that typical finnish woman. Nina - I like you and your messages here. Where were you when I was single and handsome? But...... I never was handsome.

[Jinx]

Nina - I like you and your messages here. Where were you when I was single and handsome? But...... I never was handsome.

Well said, copy that

And your post summed up the situation in Finland quite well. Ofcourse there are openminded people around like us, but as sad it is the majority of Finns think and act like you explaned.

[Ninanoora]

Well said, Allu *Kisses*

[crotchboots-m]

a few years back i was wearing my fetish boots and leather in public,walking around an outdoor shopping mall. 3 young punks spotted me and began to follow,making all sorts of rude comments. when one of the group made a comment that they should kick my ass because i was "a fagot queer and wouldnt fight back", i whipped around got rite in his face and told him to try it if he wanted my pointy toe rite up his ass. that made them scatter like the maggots that are. of course,being 6 ft tall and being muscular at 240 lbs. probably helped me as well

[Dan J]

Allu: Thank you very much for sharing and enlightening all of us. You have now given me a subject to research: A civil war in Finland before WW2. If it wasn't for forums like this, I don't know how we would be able to have this discussion.

From the US, I can only say, our civil war back in the 1860's was very painful. My ancestors are from Norway, and I am aware of the troubles between Norway and Sweden long ago.

Sooner or later, we have to apologize, forgive and celebrate our differences in order to move forward

Crotchboots - Thank you, too, for that story. It hasen't happened to me (yet), but I hope I have the same courage to respond the way you did. There's always going to be this element, isn't there, no matter where you go.

By the way - nice boots!

Dan

[Arctic]

Still on the Finns and the Russians - there is also the mindset that is not compatible. Russians are outspoken, target oriented, and pursue their goal with often not too much consideration for the surroundings. In Russia, you are on your own: socially, financially, career-wise. Elbows help get you to places. In Finland, it is the opposite: Finns are very shy, are over-considerate, value their "personal space" very much, hate to be exposed or put in a corner, and obey rules maniacally. The society is offering all kinds of welfare, and it is impossible being poor here. Now, the Russian attitude creates more wealth, and the rich Russians - although a minority in their own country - are seen everywhere here. And they bring the Russian way of life with them: in traffic they bend the rules systematically, they often park where they shouldn't, they speak loud, argue with store and restaurant staff, and also outspend the typical Finn in their own country. Then the war: the Soviets invaded Finland or attempted to on several occasions (so did the Swedes, but that is another story), latest half a century ago. The things that happened in occupied land were, like in other wars, impossible to digest and left most Finns deeply scarred. A part of Finland (Karelia, see wikipedia) was ceded to the Russians, and that is still something that most haven't come to peace with. Moreover, Rich Russians are now buying lots of prime real estate (beach front property quality, usually around lakes and rivers) driving the prices beyond reach of the typical Finn. Old people are heard saying that the Russians are coming again, but this time they are not so stupid to bring their guns. The perceived lack of respect, the offensiveness, the war atrocities and mental incompatibility make Finns often very wary of Russians. Finns are not very good at dealing with it, so when drunk, they get a little more brave and start insulting anything that resembles a Russian from close or far. Which is why Ninanoora takes the brunt. Baltic people are more respected, mainly due to their underdog role in a similar Russian/Soviet situation. I understand the pain felt by most Finns, and understand the stomach reaction, but of course I don't subscribe to the hate feeling. That said, the commonly seen lack of respect from the Russians don't do much good for their own reputation. And I am not a Finn nor a Russian so I think I'm unbiased.

[Dan J]

Arctic: You and Allu have certainly given the rest of us a history lesson and insight into an area I knew very little about, and I thank you for it. I think we've digressed pretty far from the main topic of this thread, which was, I believe: Have you ever been assaulted (physical or verbal) in relation to your appearance, and how did you handle it? There have been many views, but not as many comments. Dan

[tightsnheels]

Dan is right we have gotten way off topic. It is amazing though how many have viewed and how few have responded. Curious, no?

T&H

[Adeana]

does chat you over hear about it from the next cubicle by 2 female coworkers count?

[Dan J]

Adeana: That depends. I think we would prefer your opinion, rather than what you overheard. The other problem is: Would the 2 co-workers in the nearby cubicle appreciate you discussing their opinions without their knowledge? Dan

[tightsnheels]

does chat you over hear about it from the next cubicle by 2 female coworkers count?

An interesting question; I for one would take their chat, but I don't think I could count them in the pole since I ment it more for our community. However where would you fit into the pole?

Just curious.

T&H

[roniheels]

My experience has been that women tend to be more vocal, mostly positive. Some men I have encountered either said nothing and stared, or were loud and boisterous. In my dealings, women accept me wearing high heels in public than men. I am happy to say I have never been physically asaulted.

[wolf]

voted "Male nothings ever happened", but I wear public only a few times

[johnieheel]

I have only had two experiences. 1, A mall near Cleveland Ohio where i was waiting for a lady friend to come out of the dressing room and a group of young black girls noticed and started pointing and laughing. I was wearing leather pants, black t and heels. 2. Walmart in Akron where I left my wife standing while I went to the restroom. A group of young black thugs noticed, pointed and laughed. I didn't even noticed but at the time, it embarrassed my wife. I was wearing blue levis and knee high 4" stacked heels under pants. Now days, wife , I'm sure would tell them off. She has come a long ways and as you all know, has a very open mind. I will say that it doesn't matter of what nationality these two groups were. Could have been any group of narrow minded following unintelligent kids who are in fear of standing alone.

[Web_Jock]

Believe it or not, I was ridiculed by some neighborhood bullies for wearing flip flops out in public.

[sabotalot]

Again, I'l relate my experience many years ago when a flower-selling sidewalk vendor seemed to guffaw at my:wave: Bastad clogs. They were the penny-loafer style. I still have them but they are very worn, and unfortunately they no longer make that style.

[roniheels]

Since I first posted here, last week a group of teenage boys yelled at me and even started to approach me as a group of four. I retreated to avoid confrontation. That has been the closest I've come to physical confrontation.

[tightsnheels]

It is activity like that, that makes life harder for all of us and our signifacant others. I hope you never have that happen again but as has been pointed out here many times groups of teenagers are to be avoided. I for one am glad to hear you made it out unscathed.

In closing let me leave you with someting I once saw on a tee shirt "Beware the power of stupid people in large groups."

T&H

[crotchboots-m]

talking about large groups of morons,the sum of their stupidity grows geometrically as the group gets bigger. as an example, i can refer you to many corporate and government organizations.

[Danielinheels]

Jeered at by males and verbally assaulted by a female. The jeering happens more frequently (though the VA hurts more), so I voted for the jeering.

[thedesigner]

Ive heard kids saying "gay" etc, but on the other hand ive had more compliments on my style by women, so thats fair enough.... Know my boundaries so thats ok. Like winding people up anyway, with fellow stallholder, wound up old boy so he was convinced i was gay an fancied him... great larf !!t Enjoy flashing my heels when out, why shouldn't we ?

[HappyFeat]

I voted for "male jeered at," because I usually get more negative responses from men, but I also get a fair number from women. Both men and women seem to fall into the same category: Young and (acting) tough. My favorite (if that's the appropriate way of putting it) came from a group of people (mixed gender) who were all donned out in the "vampire" look-complete with multiple tattoos and pierced faces. They were calling me freak and doing whatever they could to embarrass me and all I could think is that how ironic the situation was. However, I must also admit that I have gotten some positive attention from many people that I would have never suspected as well.

[tightsnheels]

However, I must also admit that I have gotten some positive attention from many people that I would have never suspected as well.

This has been my experiance as well.

And I agree that of all the people you would expect to accept our differant choices you would think it would be the peircing people. I know some of them I just can't look in the face becuse the peircings make me hurt! It's like OUCH! that had/has to hurt.

T&H