ILuvHeels Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 About 2 weeks ago I met someone... Nice girl, 35, sexy, etc... We were getting along fine until last Sunday night. Where I had mentioned that I have a corset here that has never been worn that she would look sooo good in. She asked "A womans corset?" I said yes. Then she asked if I've worn it to which I replied "LOL no, doesn't fit me". After that, she asked me "If it did fit, would you wear it?" (ok, I'm an honest guy and figured that maybe... just maybe, since she had thought of that scenario by herself, that she might enjoy that.) I answered "yes". Very soon after that she said goodnight. The next day, I was talking to her online again, and that's where I knew that I wasn't going to be with her. To make a long story short... She thinks I'm gay or bi (even though I mentioned I'm perfectly straight), she also thinks I should seek help! Sorry, It's not like I'm a pedafile or anything else that will harm others. I don't harm anyone and don't plan to either! She had proclaimed she was very open minded... It seems, in my opinion, she is very wrong. With a statement like "I AM open minded, but for something like this?..." Anyway, there was no winning this one. She knew what I am like, but just because of one thing, my kink, she will not even talk to me anymore. I can't win. I think I'll go back to my own little reality when I used to never even admit any of this and everyone was happy.
johnieheel Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 Do Not go back into a lonley little world! She is just a closed minded, doesn't know what she wants kinda girl. Be yourself and keep trying. Most women these days are very open minded from my experience and like honesty in a man rather it's a corset , heels, skirts or what ever. Be up front with it. Don't wait to tell a woman of your fassion or fantisy preferances'. Be right up front and avoid the conflict later. She is out there and if you go into hiding, you'll never no.Be yourself cause if you don't, than who can you be. I have a very good gay lady friend that once told me " I don't mind that your straight if you don't mind if I'm gay" Just a thought. real men wear heels
chris100575 Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 Johnieheel is right, there are open minded women out there. You'll find one. Chris
Dr. Shoe Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 Just keep looking. There IS someone for you out there, I can guarantee it! Graduate footwear designer able to advise and assist on modification and shoe making projects.
Susan (the original) Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 Would someone like to explain what a "closed minded, doesn't know what she wants kind of girl" is? Just curious.
dingpat Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 Would someone like to explain what a "closed minded, doesn't know what she wants kind of girl" is? Just curious. I think what Johnie was trying to say is that she's a girl who simply does not want to date a guy who does things like wear heels and the like. It's sad that she did not accept our guy as he was, but men wearing heels is still pretty taboo in normal society, so I guess we just need to be careful about how we tell people about it.
thedesigner Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 I can vouch too that there are women who find guys who do heels wkd, mainly because they are confident to be themselves. Many would prefer a guy who is sensitive, who can talk about fashion, dont have a beer gut and only talk about football...... Make sure its part of the deal though and not the only thing, cos it could come over as an obsession not just a part of your character. A smile and a wkd sense of fun helps too!
gwl1 Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 Yes but the subject of heels didn't come up. Just corsets. Johnie is absolutely right. Don't retreat. Keep looking, ILuvHeels. Ok, so one got away. She wasn't right for you. Get over it and move on. There are plenty more out there. There's an expression "You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince." It applies to guys looking for a princess, too! Good luck. GWL
new_look Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 susan i guess they were describing an opposite. the girl described herself as open minded, which in most peoples defenition means someone who is open to ideas that arent the norm. Someone who has the memory span to look or think and say yeah thats different but whats the big deal. However seen as the girl suggested hes gay just because he likes something different, and then had the cheek to suggest he needs help would suggest she wasnt open minded at all, simply the opposite. Dont get me wrong if the girl is adament that it doesnt float her boat then fair enough, perhaps she is the wrong person, and i do believe she has the right to make that choice if thats how she wants to think. However it is also the mans right that the women should respect that it is his choice to do what he feels like as well without been labelled gay etc and insultingly suggesting he needs help because that is just ignorant and rude and out of order!
Skirted-UK Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 I have always found that its best not to tell women these things, especially after you have only known them for two weeks! 90% of women are not going to understand and think that you are weird. If you had left it you would have properly found that you would have split up for another reason in a couple of months anyway. If there is one thing that women do well its talk, now she is likely to tell her mates about this weird guy she met who like's wearing corsets, then her mates will tell their mates and before you know it, it will be all around town! Always wait until you know a women really well and the relationship is serious before you decide tell her stuff like this. "You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave ! " The Eagles, "Hotel California"
HeelD Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 About 2 weeks ago I met someone... Nice girl, 35, sexy, etc... We were getting along fine until last Sunday night. Where I had mentioned that I have a corset here that has never been worn that she would look sooo good in. She asked "A womans corset?" I said yes. Then she asked if I've worn it to which I replied "LOL no, doesn't fit me". After that, she asked me "If it did fit, would you wear it?" (ok, I'm an honest guy and figured that maybe... just maybe, since she had thought of that scenario by herself, that she might enjoy that.) I answered "yes". Very soon after that she said goodnight.The above makes it sound like you kept the corset for a woman (any woman) rather than yourself. e.g. she didn't go out and willingly buy a corset for herself, it was hoisted on to her. It's like a man keeping any sexy lingerie for any possible future girlfriends - it's just a bit creepy (especially after 2 weeks). Stuff like this is very individual IMO. Sure if you wear it yourself then it's YOUR clothing but that's not what I read the corset was intended for. By all means though if you both discuss these things then you can go out together and buy new stuff. Regarding her thinking you're gay, that's her problem not yours, but I'm not sure why she would think you're gay considering you suggested the corset for her. Heel-D - Freestyling since 2005
Ben in Au Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 I would have to say that the most common comment I get from women when I tell them I think shoes are great, is that they think I am gay. For some reason for a guy to be interested in fashion equates to being gay. I spent about a year studying footwear design, but when I mention this they firstly assume it was design of mens shoes, but when I tell them 'no it was womens shoes', they ask if I am gay. I think it might just be par for the course, but on the good side, once I have told them 'no I am not', _some_ of them have not run away screaming :-) Ben
hoverfly Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 Men's High heel rule #1, If the woman does not think out side the box, she is not for you. Hello, my name is Hoverfly. I’m a high heel addict…. Weeeeeeeeeee! 👠1998 to 2022!
Dr. Shoe Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 I would have to say that the most common comment I get from women when I tell them I think shoes are great, is that they think I am gay. For some reason for a guy to be interested in fashion equates to being gay. I spent about a year studying footwear design, but when I mention this they firstly assume it was design of mens shoes, but when I tell them 'no it was womens shoes', they ask if I am gay. I think it might just be par for the course, but on the good side, once I have told them 'no I am not', _some_ of them have not run away screaming :-) Ben Where did you study? When I did my course we were studying footwear design in general so that we could work in any part of the industry after graduation. It's usually when you set up on your own you'd specialise... On second reading of the original post, I can understand the girl getting scared of when a guy is keeping a corset for a girl to wear, this is wierdo serial killer territory when you think about it. However, she was out of order for suggesting that he's gay though. Graduate footwear designer able to advise and assist on modification and shoe making projects.
Guy N. Heels Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 Men's High heel rule #1, If the woman does not think out side the box, she is not for you. DITTO! Sure, a lot of women claim that they're "open-minded" until they're presented with something they never expected. Then they become hermetically sealed. Maybe next time that comes up, you might ask the gal how many gay people she actually knows? If she mentions any at all, ask how many of them wear heels and women's clothing? BTW, that gal is not for you. Keep on stepping, Guy N. Heels
Ben in Au Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 Where did you study? When I did my course we were studying footwear design in general so that we could work in any part of the industry after graduation. It's usually when you set up on your own you'd specialise... This was actually from the design stage of construction (last making) to finishing, so it was practical rather than theory. Over here in Oz you can learn these skills from existing craftsmen. I just noticed that one of them now offers intensive 10 day course!? <http://www.andrewmcdonald.com.au/shoe-making-course-1> (sorry for the thread hijack) Ben
gwl1 Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 Conversation stopper: "You're a guy wearing high heel shoes! Are you gay?" "No, but I do have a gay friend who has a shirt exactly like the one you're wearing!" End of discussion. :-) GWL
ILuvHeels Posted July 25, 2007 Author Posted July 25, 2007 Conversation stopper: "You're a guy wearing high heel shoes! Are you gay?" "No, but I do have a gay friend who has a shirt exactly like the one you're wearing!" End of discussion. :-) GWL LOL I asked her since she wore pants, does that make her a lesbian? She is trying to understand, but I don't think I am willing to see if it will work. Oh well.
benthere Posted July 28, 2007 Posted July 28, 2007 To make a long story short... She thinks I'm gay or bi (even though I mentioned I'm perfectly straight)..." You're not, so what's the problem? "...she also thinks I should seek help!" She needs a mirror. "Sorry, It's not like I'm a pedafile or anything else that will harm others." I wear heels and I'm neither gay nor a pedifile. I don't even do porn. What moron (not you - just other narrow-minded people) equates clothing with such horrid subjects? "She had proclaimed she was very open minded... It seems, in my opinion, she is very wrong." If seems, in my opinion, that your opinion is on target - she is very wrong. "Anyway, there was no winning this one. She knew what I am like, but just because of one thing, my kink, she will not even talk to me anymore." Then she's definately not for you. I wouldn't call it a "kink," eithers, as that brings in a whole nother bag of worms for doing something as simple as wearing a pair of shoes. "I can't win. I think I'll go back to my own little reality when I used to never even admit any of this and everyone was happy. What are you talking about? If you "lost" someone who would narrow-mindedly cut you down, you haven't lost anything. You've clarified a hopeless situation, early, before getting further involved, emotionally or otherwise. Three cheers for you, good riddance to her, chear up, mate, for there are plenty of women out there who really are open-minded. Might only be one in three, but it's just a matter of time.
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