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Defeating The Misconception About Men And Heels


JeffB

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On Friday, I was at the local newsstand near the place where I work to buy a paper when a lady noticed the black Aigner pumps I had on (even on "Casual Fridays" I wear heels) and asked me how I could walk in those heels. With a shrug, I said, "Practice." From the puzzled look on her face, I think I threw her for a loop. :-D It would appear that there's some sort of misconception out there that men shouldn't be able to walk in high heeled shoes, that it would be impossible for them to manage. Of course, we all know that isn't the case. Just as women can manage that feat, so can men. But I guess that in the narrow minds of most folks in out society, high heels are the province solely of women, and men aren't allowed in that particular neighborhood. To hear some tell it, it's like: "Oh, no! There's no way men can walk in high heels!" To which I say, "Why not?" It's that old stigma of gender assignment to a particular article of clothing which is plain wrong in my book. In any event, people need to see that we can wear heels, smartly and stylishly and prove they aren't just for women!

I don't want to LOOK like a woman, I just want to DRESS like a woman!

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Proof of the pudding is in the eating ! How often have we heard the same thing? Society still has a set of values that, rightly or wrongly, are used everyday without thought. How many women are told they shouldn't wear trousers because they are men's? How many men are told they shouldn't wear skirts because they are for women? Does it really matter any more? Different societies have different rules and breaking those rules usually results in social stigma from the conformists. In the defence of men, heels were originally made for men, then adopted by women. The fact that most men chose to abandon their heel wearing does not nstantly mean that it's then a women only activity. I proved a little point today. I was out on a carboot looking at a pair of knee high boots and I asked if they were a small or large 7, to which the seller said "try them on" and that was before she saw what I was already wearing! The gender roles in todays society have gone, however, the ideas haven't. Most subscribe to this while a growing number are ditching the 'Victorian' idealology and becoming more 'Cosmopolitan', where anything is allowed within the realms of decency. I know of a few people down my street who wouldn't care if I walk down the road wearing a pair of shorts and thigh high boots. They may question my choice, but wouldn't care! The problem is that men in heels still has a way to go before the barriers in people's minds have gone and until that day we shall always be viewed as abnormal or eccentric. In one sense, good! I hate to think I was normal in the way the rest of the 'sheep' are!

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Actually Ive come across some very open minded people in stores too. One store I shop in the girls in there always ask discretly if Ide like to try them on to get a good fit. I appreciate that and I buy lots of shoes there. I was in one fetish store once and the sales girl got kind of angry with me. Complaining that I could walk better in the heels than she could. My wife cant understand how I manage to walk in some of my heels... but she loves it when I do....

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Most of the people I've found in shoe shops are completely unbothered. The closest I've come to a problem was freaking out some young lady in Barratts! I was buying my 'London wedgies', and she asked 'Is she here?' 'Pardon?' I said 'To try them on!' she said. 'Oh, they're for me!' I said. She looked totally amazed, but went along with it. No real problem, and perhaps she's prepared for next time one of us is there now :smile: .

Obsessed is such a strong word. I prefer to think of myself as "differently enthusiastic"

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I was wearing a pair of knee length boots with 4" block heels going down some stairs to the basement of a shoe shop when a mamber of staff pointed out that I was heading for the ladies dept. My instant reply?: " That doesn't usually stop me!"

Graduate footwear designer able to advise and assist on modification and shoe making projects.

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I was wearing a pair of knee length boots with 4" block heels going down some stairs to the basement of a shoe shop when a mamber of staff pointed out that I was heading for the ladies dept. My instant reply?: " That doesn't usually stop me!"

Graduate footwear designer able to advise and assist on modification and shoe making projects.

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On a similar note I bumped into this today http://www.stylewithsubstance.com/shoe/archives/000412.html Read the article, don't just analyze the shoes.

I had a related experience this weekend, too. I was in line at an ice cream shop wearing a pair of quite low, to me, casuals from Payless. Like probably everyone on this forum, I walk in these shoes as casually and confidently as a pair of Nikes.

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A woman who noticed my shoes when I walked in, came up to me and the conversation went along these lines:

She, "Excuse me, I don't mean to be nosy, but how can you ever walk so well in those heels?"

Me, "Uh, left, right, left, right? Or do you mean I should be wobbling and holding on to things? Practice?"

She, "It's just they seem so high..."

Me, "It just takes practice. Is it really the heel height, or does my being male mean I'm not physiologically suited to walking on heels?"

She, "Um, well, um, you just look happy striding along like that. My husband tried a pair of cowboy boots once, took two steps, and couldn't get them off fast enough. I wish more men were like you."

Me, "Actually..."

I've never had a conversation like that with a total stranger.

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That was an interesting exploit you had, onyourtoes! Women continually seem to be amazed that we can walk in heels and even make it look easy. I also think that by saying it took practice to master that particular skill, we put the thought in their minds that we had devoted ourselves to wanting to walk well in heels, something else I'm sure they never expected. Slowly, but surely, we're starting to break down that stereotype that says men can't walk in heels. Every day that I'm out and about in pumps (and, admittedly, I can't bring myself to wear anything but now!), I'm helping to defeat that stereotype, and I'm having a great amount of fun as well. I'm just doing what I enjoy, and that's where the fun comes in!

I don't want to LOOK like a woman, I just want to DRESS like a woman!

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So far the only comments i have ever encountered are from the women at work asking "arent those womens boots?" to which i always reply "yep, what do u think of them?" and i have had nice comments and even 1 woman saying they look great on me (my workboots - 4" heel) And other people around the Paddington area have obviously seen me out and about in the area including the 200 builders on the building site opposite my office, and i havent heard a word or comment in a negative light.....

Heels for Men // Legwear Fashion // HHPlace Guidelines

If something doesn't look right, please report the content ASAP!

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  • 2 weeks later...

The most annoying misconception is that you "must" be gay. Other attitudes I take a pretty dim view of is a man must be taller than his date or tall women shouldn't wear heels, or men shouldn't wear heels because they are for women. Most of these view are born from complete ignorance or upbringing in a very narrow minded set of circumstances. However there's not much you can do to change the views of those people. Luckily, there's increasing numbers of broadminded people around. The narrow minded ones are in a ever decreasing minority.

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I think that another thing that baffles people about seeing men in high heels is that we make walking in them look so damn easy. I'm 43 and have been wearing heels for 30 years, so walking in them is as natural to me as breathing. People don't expect us to be so proficient at something said by society to be the province of women, and that confuses them. Now, I've never had the gay question thrown at me, at least not to my face, but I'm sure I've made people wonder here and there, but I don't worry about that, people have opinions, good and bad, I just go about my business, doing what I've enjoyed for three decades, in fact, I'm having more fun wearing heels right now than I've ever had in my life! :-D

I don't want to LOOK like a woman, I just want to DRESS like a woman!

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Another encounter:

I was wearing a pair of wood sandals similar to these at work last week. They're almost 2 inches at the highest point.

A woman who obviously has never paid attention to my feet before saw them and said, "Hey, pretty cool sandals. Now you be careful with those heels!"

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Huh? What heels?

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Me? A pro? Well, I wouldn't go that far! :-) I'm just doing what I've enjoyed since I was a teen. Actually, I've only been out and about in heels for just the last two years, the result of a compulsion of sorts, so I'm sure some folks here have been in public for considerably longer. As in all activities, you just gotta go out there and do it! Then let the chips fall where they may!

I don't want to LOOK like a woman, I just want to DRESS like a woman!

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Me? A pro? Well, I wouldn't go that far! :-) I'm just doing what I've enjoyed since I was a teen. Actually, I've only been out and about in heels for just the last two years, the result of a compulsion of sorts, so I'm sure some folks here have been in public for considerably longer. As in all activities, you just gotta go out there and do it! Then let the chips fall where they may!

I don't want to LOOK like a woman, I just want to DRESS like a woman!

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I had a long conversation with a US airlines flight hostess about shoes when waiting in a restaurant queue in London a month or so ago. 3 other guys from this board were there so they can vouch it's no bullshit. Anyway, the first thing she asked was do your feet hurt walking in those? She wore heels a lot herself so she sort of knew the answer, but I guess she just wanted to hear it from a male perspective.

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