The elephant in the room

[dressboots]

Many are familiar with the term "the elephant in the room." Essentially it is large, cannot be ignored, but everyone is afraid to say it is there or talk about it. Men wearing high heels is this. He has set himself apart from the norm in a big way but many are afraid to compliment him for doing so, rather stay quiet, ignore it, hope it will go away, do not risk having some clod disagree. This forum is helping change that.

[JeffB]

Brilliant words, dressboots! For sure men won't broach the topic of other men wearing high heels, in the time I wore heels, most notably pumps at my last place of employment, while female co-workers complimented me greatly, the males there chose to ignore what I wore. Not once did any guy acknowledge my unique choice of footwear, something I often found amusing. Personally, I never thought of myself as the elephant in the room because I had been accepted by co-workers for what I wore, but then, the ration of women to men at my old workplace was around 8-2. I never felt I was apart from co-workers because I wore heels, so I guess I was the exception to the rule.

[Magickman]

The elephant might be slight overstatement. No one can miss an elephant, but many folks do not notice footwear. Some folks do go far overboard, in their reaction to men in heels. To them, it might be an elephant. I think they are making mountains out of molehills. For the most part, our shoes are no bigger an issue, than we make them. When someone challenges me, I laugh it off, or else make up some fantastic bullshit. So far, at least, I have been spared death, at the hands of an angry mob.

[DallasHeels]

I agree that this forum is helping men like me come to be more comfortable with my wants and needs when it comes to heels. I have worn my heels out more since finding the forum, guessing over 10X more each week. lol. My only worry when out "freestyling" is seeing someone from my work, or that I know that would spread rumors. In the south, rumors spread really fast and I can't run that fast in my heels. lol I do hope over time with the designers and culture that the outlook on men wearing heels will change just as so many other things in fashion have changed.

[JSpikeheels]

...when I am at one of my pickup or deliveries and I happen to be wearing something with a heel " my girls" don't seem to say one word since we have had our "moments" on the subject when I first started wearing them... ...I guess the fact that I don't force the subject into the open or start a conversation about them specifically may be one reason but, most likely, my choices in boot-style has dropped below their attention-level and they don't actually look to see anymore... ...the places I do go where I know I will see people I don't know can be a little thrilling...usually stop around 2pm for a quick bite at a Taco Bell or an Arby's and I get a kick out of watching to see if 1) anyone notices 2) is it a girl or a guy 3) their reaction ...but I don't make eye contact with the guys-if I sense one is looking I just go about my business avoiding eye-contact wherever possible especially not holding momentary contact if it is made...no invitations to "go there" from me!!!!! ...but the ladies...that has a test to follow as well... if my heels are higher than hers I just smile to myself and try to give her an extra look... if her heels are high I also try get close enough to tell her I really like her heels...understanding human nature I can usually tell that she will look me over up and down..she will see my posture is how one should stand in heels and a woman "knows these things"...that's usually enough to let her know and but if I really want to engage her in conversations-like I would do in a shoe store where the topic would clearly address itself to high heels..but elsewhere I might ask her where she is the only one who can hear me I might ask her if she likes mine... if she's wearing flat shoes she has just scored a 'zero' on her open book test and no amount of tutoring can help a student who will just not apply herself... comments appreciated Jim

[johnieheel]

I like to play games. I have had men get a quick glance at my heels and then I go to another isle as I didn't notice him looking to see what was different about my foot wear. He will try to follow me looking at other clothing on racks as I keep toying with him and this will go on until I finally step out into the isle and bend over to pick something up that I droped so he can get a good look at my heels, then he sorta just goes away. Game over. This has happened a few times and I'm getting good at it.Gotta try it, it's really fun to mess with people like this.LOL!!!

[Dr. Shoe]

It's amazing how often I get guys following me around, especially if I'm wearing stilletos or thigh boots over my trousers and it's amazing but the only time anyone asks me for directions is when I'm in stilletos!

[soular]

the elephant in the room is the perfect description of this

[dressboots]

the elephant in the room is the perfect description of this

Generalizations are a tricky thing to make and this is no exception. The situation is often different each time.

There is a lot of misinformation on this subject out in the world which contributes to and helps the elephant in the room.

For example: "A man in high heels is homosexual."

Definitely not a good or accurate indicator, but an effective way for some with narrow minds to premptively shut down a possible discussion thus perpetuating the elephant. By making a definitive sounding statement in a forceful way indications are that having a conversation is not going to result in anything good or productive so the elephant thrives.

This forum is enabling people to recognize the elephant if for any other reason that to know it exists to some people and to know how to shrink or make it disappear. Minds may not be changed instantly but I find it surprising the number of people who do not side with the ingnorant remarks often volunteered on such subjects when someone replies that that is not necessarily true.

Thanks all for contributions to this thread. It helps to refine an idea with more views.

[gary0618]

Sorry,

You are wacked.....

LOL

[JeffB]

I thought people liked to "ride" elephants? As long as its not made into some kind of show, I'm okay with that--provided I choose who gets to go for a ride. he, he.

I think I rode an elephant at the kiddie zoo when I was a wee tyke. Heh!

Hmm, if we are like elephants, then perhaps we take on some of the leadership traits of elephants too. Leadership traits that would make them great Freestylers. At least from the inside/out perspective...

For example, elephants are known to regulate their reproductivity. So when there is a drought, they'll decrease reproductivity so as not to decrease the chances of their youth surviving.

As a freestyler, I tend to regulate the reproduction of my shoe collection! I keep 15 pairs and no more.

Elephants are also known to migrate during dry season...but in small sub groups, to allow for better distribution of scarce resources.

Similarly, as a Freestyler, I usually migrate to climates and geographies where I have a good chance of being accepted -- in the right shoes. Like going to a convention at the Hilton in round toe boots with a chunky heel. Or migrating to a restaurants and clubs in pointy stilettos. I keep alert to how my outfit will blend with the local geography. I regulate not just to survive, but thrive.

Kneehighs, that was a downright brilliant response to this topic, easily the best I've read to date on this thread! Everything you said mirrors my own philosophy on how I go about my business of freestyling. Like you, I take great pains to wear outfits that enable me to blend in with my surroundings, like my outings to local malls or downtown areas, in that regard, I try to be more like a chameleon than an elephant, even though that's often difficult as I clock in at six and half feet tall in heels. Heh! Your words definitely resonated with me!

[dressboots]

Sorry,

You are wacked.....

LOL

Could you explain?

[micha]

I thought people liked to "ride" elephants? As long as its not made into some kind of show, I'm okay with that--provided I choose who gets to go for a ride. he, he.

Hmm, if we are like elephants, then perhaps we take on some of the leadership traits of elephants too. Leadership traits that would make them great Freestylers. At least from the inside/out perspective...

For example, elephants are known to regulate their reproductivity. So when there is a drought, they'll decrease reproductivity so as not to decrease the chances of their youth surviving.

As a freestyler, I tend to regulate the reproduction of my shoe collection! I keep 15 pairs and no more.

Elephants are also known to migrate during dry season...but in small sub groups, to allow for better distribution of scarce resources.

Similarly, as a Freestyler, I usually migrate to climates and geographies where I have a good chance of being accepted -- in the right shoes. Like going to a convention at the Hilton in round toe boots with a chunky heel. Or migrating to a restaurants and clubs in pointy stilettos. I keep alert to how my outfit will blend with the local geography. I regulate not just to survive, but thrive.

I guess if Im akin to an elephant in a room, then I'm probably just in transition from one room to another. People might look and some may want to "ride me", but they better take advantage of the small window of opportunity before its gone. Freestylers are indeed a rare breed.

I'm insisting to be an elephant but I am a gracile elephant on my heels