5 (1/2)" stiletto experiences

[heelma]

I finally found some stiletto pumps that I really like in woman size 15 from ElectriqueBoutique:

First, I would like to ask you guys a few general questions about stilettos.

1. With pointy toe stilettos, I always found that they were either way too tight in the front, or they were too big in the back and I had to struggle not to loose them while walking. The only way for me to get around this problem was to buy these here with an ankle strap. Does this problem occur to you as well, and how do you deal with it?

2. I found that most so-called 5" shoes are lower than that, even if I measured at the up-most part of the heel in the very back of the shoe. These here are called 5", but when I measure them in the back, I actually got 5 1/2". Is it more common to measure like I did in the back, or by drawing a vertical line up from where the heel sits on the ground (and there - on the front or the back side)?

3. Many women state that their feet hurt after a while when they wear heels. I wonder what part of the foot actually hurts and why. My experience is that this totally depends on the shoe. When they are too tight, sure, it really hurts in the front, but any other shoe would do so, too. Sometimes, my ankle starts to hurt after a few steps, but this goes away after like 10-15 min. With these here, it's more like the section right in front of the toes that starts to hurt after longer walks, but it was never so bad that I felt like I had to take them off. This doesn't occur to me with 4" heels, only with these here. What is your experience here, or is this something women are more prone to than men?

4. The tip of the heel always gets ruined very quickly, even if I walk just on plain concrete or pavement. I don't see this happening with women so quickly. What am I doing wrong?

I wore them out in public a few times already, but never longer than 30 - 45 min. I always wear them hidden under very long jeans so that it is not totally obvious. As I already wrote in some other postings before, most people don't seem to notice anything when I wear heels out. Particularly with these here, I am actually surprised because I can really only take very tiny steps with these and at least the walk must look completely different than with regular shoes or lower heels. Yesterday, I wore them out in a pretty crowded mall, went to a department store, bought something and walked back. I would say it took me at least 10 min longer than with flat shoes. Hardly anybody noticed anything, though I walked right in front of some sitting teenagers or other people. I was afraid that they might see it and follow me while screaming out loudly. (Or does a mall provide some additional safety here?) The only person who saw it was a 20-year old girl who went by with her friend. She looked at me and laughed loudly. But interestingly, it was more like she had fun watching something funny in a movie, rather than making fun out of me. Kind of interesting...

[chris100575]

Hi Heelma 1. I've not had that much of a problem with finding stilettos that fit, but I have fairly narrow feet and prefer boots anyway. Most guys have wider feet than girls, and a lot of companies don't really take this into consideration when they make larger sizes, they just seem to scale up. 2. If I was measuring a heel, I'd go straight up the back from where it hits the ground to where it meets the shoe. There doesn't seem to be a standard way of measuring however. Also, a lot of companies will quote a heel height for a shoe in the middle of the size range, but the heel height will vary according to shoe size. Basically, I'd only take quoted heel heights as a guideline. 3. It depends on where it hurts. The only pain I get from wearing heels is in the balls of my feet, because I'm not used to having my weight shifted that far forward. This is something I'm probably more prone to than most women because I'm heavier. I can recommend Scholl "Party Feet" gel cushions, as these help a lot. If you're getting pain anywhere else it's likely that either the shoes don't fit properly, or if it's pain in the ankle / calf it's because you're walking differently to how you're used to. 4. Simple physics, you weigh more than most women, therefore the heel tips will wear more quickly. That said, I know plenty of girls that always get metal tips because they quickly kill the plastic ones. Metal tips last a lot longer, but they are noisy. In my experience, which is limited compared to some of the guys here, nobody really cares what you wear on your feet. Just recently I've been going out quite a lot wearing the boots in my avatar with the heels fully exposed, and nobody seems to give a rat's arse. Chris

[JeffB]

In my experience, which is limited compared to some of the guys here, nobody really cares what you wear on your feet. Just recently I've been going out quite a lot wearing the boots in my avatar with the heels fully exposed, and nobody seems to give a rat's arse.

Chris is dead on right, heelma. Ninety-five percent of the people you'll encounter while on an outing in heels are too wrapped up in their own lives and affairs to care one way or another about a guy walking about in heels.

Of the remaining five percent, three percent will take second looks and double takes while one percent might titter, giggle or point at you. That leaves just a mere one percent out of one hundred that might, and I strongly want to emphasize this, might say something derogatory to you, and even that's not a given as only the really crude or uncouth would make fools of themselves in public.

I've spent enough time in public wearing heels, and in crowded settings like shopping malls, and I've never had a moment's worth of trouble. As long as you present a tasteful, subtle image that isn't too "out there", you can wear heels just about anywhere. The biggest hurdle is mustering up the courage to go and do it, and once you've jumped said hurdle, the rest is easy.

[chris100575]

Jeff makes a good point about presenting the right image. If your shoes go with the rest of your outfit it's less likely that they'll stand out. The two percent Jeff mentions are also less likely to be an issue if you look confident. Chris

[heelma]

Yesterday, I was out shopping again with my stilettos, hidden under long jeans.I encountered two different experiences. At one store, there was a big, important looking guy at the entrance who kind of looked like a store manager. He saw me walking around in the store earlier and I already noticed that he looked down. Then, when I left the store, he was in the middle of a discussion with another customer. I was even not fully through the door yet, when he interrupted his conversation with the other guy and loudly said "Those are women's shoes!". He even pointed towards my shoes. The other customer smiled a bit. Then I went to a grocery store and was in line for the cashiers. I put my stuff onto the conveyor belt when the young lady at the adjacent cashier asked me: "Are those heels?" I replied yes. She said she saw my long jeans. I told her that I love women wearing high heels on and that's why I like to try them my own every once in a while. She said "Why not?" and asked me to show them to her. "Those are nice. Are they difficult to walk with?" I replied that it's ok. Then, I had to turn around to my cashier and pay. You could tell that this lady seemed to be kind of irritated by the conversation. She made a pretty weird face and I had to ask her twice to give me my receipt! When I left, the other one said "Have a good night" and smiled.

[dr1819]

As long as you present a tasteful, subtle image that isn't too "out there", you can wear heels just about anywhere. The biggest hurdle is mustering up the courage to go and do it, and once you've jumped said hurdle, the rest is easy.

I absolutely agree with you on both accounts. If you're a fetish heeler, you either learn to deal with the adverse affects or you fold.

On the other hand, if you enjoy heels, but aren't interested in the shock effects, integration into society at this point is pretty much a done deal - just do it. No one cares one way or the other.

[tcollins]

I thank all of you for posting your experiences and hope other will add to this thread. So if I'm correct, the trend goes that the more subtle you present yourself, the less reaction you will generate, and therefore, the more "shocking" you look the greater the chance for a negative encounter. Either way, what I am noticing is most negative encounters only generate a moment or two of awkwardness (when people stare) or slight embarrassment (when people actually voice a comment) and then it's over as they and you move on. And the best way to handle the awkwardness/embarrassment is to "face it" directly (by not running away) and make the issue the other persons problem, not yours. Does this sound right to everyone? Am I missing anything? Thank you all so much for your input. Knowing what to expect really makes all of life's encounters much easier. TC

[Thighbootguy]

TC -

I don’t agree with your conclusion

“the trend goes that the more subtle you present yourself, the less reaction you will generate, and therefore, the more "shocking" you look the greater the chance for a negative encounter”

I regularly wear leather thigh boots with 5” stilettos over jeans and sometimes with a skirt. I do not consider this to be a subtle presentation.

The factor that I have found that differentiates the kind of reaction you will get is the confidence with which you present yourself. Chris100575’s comment, “The two percent Jeff mentions are also less likely to be an issue if you look confident” is right on the mark. If you present yourself with the confidence that you only get by being comfortable with the look you are presenting, others will pick up on it and respect your presentation.

No matter how confident your are or how well you present yourself there are still JeffB’s 1% the might be crass enough to say something. My experience is that 1% is high.

[jwhite44]

1. Fit - It can be difficult to find a pump which isn't too tight up front, yet isn't too loose in the rear. Sometimes you can get lucky with a good fit. There are pads, both for the ball of your foot, and the rear, that go in the heel (typically attached with a peel-off adhesive) that are meant to help you foot stay in place in the heel. 2. Height - I terms of heel height, I agree there's sometimes a significant difference between what is listed and that actual height. I thought I read on a women-oriented shoe website heel height is measured: - on a size 8 shoe - on the centerline of the heel Given that I wear a sz13, and measure from the rear (to maximize height ), I expect heel heights on my shoes to tend to run higher than what's listed. I have one pair of boots where the height heel is a full inch larger. Personally I'm not complaining, but from an accurancy perspective, I'd be upset if I was looking for the listed height, and didn't want something higher. 3. Discomfort - Even with a good fitting shoe, difficult to see how high heels can't lead to more discomfort: - as mentioned, a high heel shifts a lot of your weight to the ball of your foot - there's typically little to no padding in the soles to adsorb the impact of walking - the heel stretches out your leg muscles - your ankle muscles get a workaround trying to keep you feet balanced (particularly on thinner heels) Are high heels the shoe of choice for say a day at Disney, probably not. For me, it's these sensory differences compared to flat shoes that add to the excitement of heels.

[hoverfly]

First, I would like to ask you guys a few general questions about stilettos.

1. With pointy toe stilettos, I always found that they were either way too tight in the front, or they were too big in the back and I had to struggle not to loose them while walking. The only way for me to get around this problem was to buy these here with an ankle strap. Does this problem occur to you as well, and how do you deal with it?

You have the same issue as I do. Your foot is not meant to wear the pointy stiletto toe boxes. There are similar stiles shoes that are designed to accommodate people with a wider front foot and narrow ankle. Like semi pointed, elongated toe boxes and custom made.

[5.5 Thrill]

Heelma; I wear 5" heeled shoes, all of them have either have an ankle strap or top of foot strap or both (my avitar). I also wear boots that are tight to the top of my foot. The commonness here is they are all held on, no slipping. As to who will notice: (this is the fun part) Adults and older kids tend to either not notice or will, and look away if you notice them noticeing you. The ones that are cool are the 4-6 yr olds that notice, say something to mommy or daddy, or go to another aisle and get there mom or dad to come see this guy wearing high heel "womens shoes". The little girl that noticed me, while wearing 5" heeled lace-up knee boots, was a little dismayed and confused that a guy was wearing heels, she really wanted me to take them off!!! Mom on the other hand said it was cool that I could wear them and that she like my boots. All this to say... have fun wearing what you enjoy wearing!