WHY STRAIGHT MEN LOVE WEARING HEELS

[HIGHFEELING]

Hi to all my new fellows, This is one of my first post in the forum and the first "FOR THE GUYS". I'm 43 italian married and with a baby of 9 months. I've being wearing heel from 2 years and I really love the feeling they give to me. I always loved, as most of us, to see women in heels and i find them really exciting...... so much that when my wife, that does not love them, said: "you should you try them to feel the pain" , i realized that was what i have always desired!! ..... Anyway, after this little presentation i come back to the question of the thread.... I saw in various post that men wore heels before women, so it's quite natural that we do it at modern times...... I do not agree absolutely with this statement..... In my case, and i think the same for lot of us, the origin strictly come from sexual attraction that women in them cause us, and we like to see it much more time that we can and probably we can fantasize on our legs on heels. Please let me know if you have a similar feeling and/or your different feelings. Excuse me for the my English

[sscotty727]

Hard to put a finger on it. On women, I just love how they look (especially stiletto pumps). ALWAYS been attracted to them. I guess I was curious how they felt and tried them on (I think I tried on my aunts first since she lived alone and I was able to use her bathroom which was upstairs and her closet with her heels was right beside the bathroom). From the first time I tried them on I loved how they felt and how my foot felt at an arch. Beyond that, I really don't know. It would be like asking why pizza is my favorite food. I just love how it tastes. Scotty

[new_look]

i agree with sscotty727 i love the way they look on women aside tht i also like the waythey llok in general and the way they feel on me

[dr1819]

While I've rarely seen other men in heels, aside from the heelmeet pics, the few occasions that I have seen men wearing heels (as men, not as a crossdresser), it seemed a little odd. Nevertheless, I wear heels because I like the way wearing heels makes me feel. I abhore uncomfortable shoes, and will not put up with any pain just to wear heels. But my collection of around 14 pairs of hh sandals, shoes, and boots are all very comfortable. I also like the way they look when I look down at them. Finally, the few times I've caught myself in the full-length mirror, it seems to look natural on me. I'm not sure why it still looks unnatural when I see other men in heels - probably just because it's different than what I expect to see, and that dichotomy is what causes the slight unsettling.

[johnieheel]

Simple for me. I like the many different styles of heels and womens shoes on women or me. Sense I was little in grade school, I wanted to know how they would feel on my feet and when I found out , well that was all it took. I was born with a shoe fetish and proud of it.

[dr1819]

Simple for me. I like the many different styles of heels and womens shoes on women or me. Sense I was little in grade school, I wanted to know how they would feel on my feet and when I found out , well that was all it took. I was born with a shoe fetish and proud of it.

Glad to hear you opinion, johnieheel.

One thing I'd like to comment on, however, is your use of the term "fetish," for several reasons.

First, heel-wearing by guys is a fetish only if done for purposes of sexual arousal. That's both the dictionary and the DSM-IV definition.

This is important because more than a few male heel-wearers hold security clearances, and anything considered "abnormal" by the DSM-IV jeapordizes those clearances. Currently, the DSM-IV does not address the wear of heels by men, other than by way of cross-dressing. Since I'm not wearing women's clothing (merely a shoe), and am not at all trying to appear as a member of the opposite sex, it's not considered cross-dressing by the investigators. However, they're keen to ask about fetishes, and I have to make it clear to them that a fetish involves sexual arousal while my heelwearing does not.

Because of this, as well as general societal avoidance of the word "fetish" and anything associated with it, it's very important that we avoid the use of this word unless it's specifically warranted. If it is warranted in your case, please take the time to differentiate between your involvement with heels, and the involvement of most of the men on this board, for whom wearing heels is not fetishistic.

I hope you understand. Thanks.

[Guy N. Heels]

Glad to hear you opinion, johnieheel.

One thing I'd like to comment on, however, is your use of the term "fetish," for several reasons.

First, heel-wearing by guys is a fetish only if done for purposes of sexual arousal. That's both the dictionary and the DSM-IV definition.

This is important because more than a few male heel-wearers hold security clearances, and anything considered "abnormal" by the DSM-IV jeapordizes those clearances. Currently, the DSM-IV does not address the wear of heels by men, other than by way of cross-dressing. Since I'm not wearing women's clothing (merely a shoe), and am not at all trying to appear as a member of the opposite sex, it's not considered cross-dressing by the investigators. However, they're keen to ask about fetishes, and I have to make it clear to them that a fetish involves sexual arousal while my heelwearing does not.

Because of this, as well as general societal avoidance of the word "fetish" and anything associated with it, it's very important that we avoid the use of this word unless it's specifically warranted. If it is warranted in your case, please take the time to differentiate between your involvement with heels, and the involvement of most of the men on this board, for whom wearing heels is not fetishistic.

I hope you understand. Thanks.

Ever the scholar, Dr1819 has almost given us the low-down on "fetish". But he left out the all important point that the term "fetish" actually has it's origins in religion! (As a remarkable number of terms do.) Therefore, it is from the realm of religion that the term eventually became adopted to sexual usage. Unfortunately, in today's usage (and thanks in no small part to Freud) almost any item that is associated with obsessive/compulsive behavior is often refered to in sexual terminology. In reality we should relegate degenerate minds like Freud to the rubbish heap, where they belong, and quit over analysing everything. I like high heels! I liked them when I first tried on a pair of my mother's heels at around 9 or 10 and have liked them ever since. This has absolutely nothing to do with my sexual life! If there is anyone who's heels are an integral part of their sexual life - get help.

[dr1819]

Ever the scholar, Dr1819 has almost given us the low-down on "fetish". But he left out the all important point that the term "fetish" actually has it's origins in religion! (As a remarkable number of terms do.) Therefore, it is from the realm of religion that the term eventually became adopted to sexual usage. Unfortunately, in today's usage (and thanks in no small part to Freud) almost any item that is associated with obsessive/compulsive behavior is often refered to in sexual terminology. In reality we should relegate degenerate minds like Freud to the rubbish heap, where they belong, and quit over analysing everything. I like high heels! I liked them when I first tried on a pair of my mother's heels at around 9 or 10 and have liked them ever since. This has absolutely nothing to do with my sexual life! If there is anyone who's heels are an integral part of their sexual life - get help.

Very well put, Guy N. Heels, and you're right about the original meaning of the term "fetish" being used to describe a religious artifact. Wikipedia does a good job of detailing the history of the term. I find it interesting that they have two entries, one which is just Fetish, and the other, Sexual Fetishism, which is used to describe the component associated with paraphelia.

I think it's interesting to note that the female members of this board responded to a "Why I Wear Heels" survey originally posted at Jenny's website, and subsequently posted by FireFox, here. Amazingly, sexual arousal was mentioned as a reason, and scored an average of 4 out of 10. The answers ranged from 0 to 10.

It's important to remember a couple of key points:

In psychology, fetishism is a paraphilia, a sexual psychic disorder. The diagnosis of fetishism is justified only if the additional criteria of parahilia are fulfilled, above all only if the affected person suffers or harms other people. According to the International Statistical Classification of Diseases and Related Health Problems (ICD), fetishism is the fixation on an inanimate object, while according to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), fetishism is the fixation on an inanimate object or a body part.

What's important to remember is that "in psychology and sexology, paraphilia (in Greek para παρά = besides and '-philia' φιλία = love) is a term that describes a family of philias that reference sexual arousal in response to sexual objects or situations which may interfere with the capacity for reciprocal affectionate sexual activity."

In conclusion, sexual arousal associated with an inanimate object does not, in and of itself, constitute sexual fetishism, nor is it necessarily a paraphilia.

So, if you obtain sexual arousal from your heeling, whether you're a guy or a girl, that's ok, provided it doesn't eclipse the significant others in your lives, or cause yourselves or others harm.

[hoverfly]

Give me a good reasoned why men should not. I bet anybody could not come up with one. But I like the feel, the look of them and how they make me feel when weairng them.

[dr1819]

Give me a good reasoned why men should not. I bet anybody could not come up with one.

But I like the feel, the look of them and how they make me feel when weairng them.

Bingo, on all accounts. From what I've been able to gather here, on other sites, and interviews with store managers who routinely sell heels to men, these are, by far, the predominant reasons, and I think most people who see men in heels know this. Only the ignorant jackasses conjure up non-existent motives which serve no purpose whatsoever save to calm their troubled souls.

[Guy N. Heels]

Bingo, on all accounts. From what I've been able to gather here, on other sites, and interviews with store managers who routinely sell heels to men, these are, by far, the predominant reasons, and I think most people who see men in heels know this. Only the ignorant jackasses conjure up non-existent motives which serve no purpose whatsoever save to calm their troubled souls.

DITTO

But one question I would like to posit about the previously mentioned survey (which I don't think I've seen) is exactly what is meant by "sexual arousal" ? Were the respondents saying this because they were experiencing some kind of personal sexual arousal from heels; or were they saying that they expected to provoke some sort of sexual arousal in others (boyfriend, husband, etc.)?

[hoverfly]

DITTO

But one question I would like to posit about the previously mentioned survey (which I don't think I've seen) is exactly what is meant by "sexual arousal" ? Were the respondents saying this because they were experiencing some kind of personal sexual arousal from heels; or were they saying that they expected to provoke some sort of sexual arousal in others (boyfriend, husband, etc.)?

Both!!

[johnieheel]

Thank you all for clearing up the fetish thing. There are many reasons why I enjoy my heels but the #1 reason is because I like the way they look and feel and how they make me feel. I have studied the psychological side of why some men have a craving to wear HH's to a certain extent, and do realise that if you have to break into your neighbors house to wear their mom's shoes that you should seek help as just one example and I for one do not have this problem and do not need a partical of clothing or any thing else except a woman all natural to get me aroused. Sorry for useing the term"fetish" so loosley. What I should have written was,"I was born with a passion for womens foot wear". No disrespect.

[hoverfly]

No problem. But let's say they are a fetish for your high heels not for women's shoes. They are really a piece of clothing that is really gender neural. High heels are just marketed to women.

[johnieheel]

I totaly agree and do not like to be bias and strongly believe that there should be NO gender on clothing of any kind, espically shoes. As that is all that they are is simply SHOES and it's simply my fashion preference to wear heels. Although they can be sexually fun and arousing in the right setting with the right shoes. I enjoy my heels in more ways than one and I don't believe there is anything wrong with having fun with footwear or any other artical of clothing.

[asdf174]

I don't know. I can only speak for me. I think there are defferent several reasons why a man would want to wear heels. Rather it be sexual, fashion, or something else as well as some mental reasons (Like feeling more confident, attractive, sexy, maybe even having a defferent persona as in some cases with wemen). I wear heels because I like them. There is some sexual fun that comes with them, and I also just like the way a pair of patient 6" pumps look. I just like them.

[dr1819]

I totaly agree and do not like to be bias and strongly believe that there should be NO gender on clothing of any kind, espically shoes. As that is all that they are is simply SHOES and it's simply my fashion preference to wear heels. Although they can be sexually fun and arousing in the right setting with the right shoes. I enjoy my heels in more ways than one and I don't believe there is anything wrong with having fun with footwear or any other artical of clothing.

In answer to your previous question about sexual arousal, that, by itself, does not make male heel-wearing a paraphelia. It must be consist of a sexual attachment to the object itself, as well as causing impairment of normal sexual activity (like in the bedroom, with one's significant other), or causing harm to others. According to the DSM, it has to be both - one won't cut it.

For example, if you like wearing heels for the fashion, but your're causing significant problems in your marriage because your wife is embarrassed, that's not a paraphelia. Similarly, if you're sexually aroused by heels, either by wearing them or simply their look, etc., but this causes no issues in the relationship, then that's not considered a paraphelia, either (although common misappropriation of the term "fetish" has often been used to describe such behavior).

Bottom line, I think the DSM is a good attempt by categorize the various facets of human thought, but I also think it's written by a group of self-proclaimed "experts" who're on the outside looking in.

I've heard no less than four psychologists and one pastor speak on the subject. Of the four psychologists, one thought it was cross-dressing without paraphelia, the other transvestism without paraphelia. The third labeled it CD/TV (he equated the two, which is technically incorrect) with paraphelia, even though I didn't meet any definition of paraphelia whatsoever. The fourth thought, "if it's not causing you or others any harm, what's the big deal? Go for it." Amazingly, the pastor thought pretty much the same, although he cautioned against putting the wear of any particular style of clothing above one's marriage (sage advice).

(Addendum - this all happened in 2005 when my wife did a 180 with respect to my heel wear)

[jmc]

We like how they feel and they are so much more interesting!

[balacau]

I'm a straight guy who wears high heeled boots indoors only. To be perfectly honest I find it relaxing. If there is a late night movie on, and I have the house to myself, I will often watch even rubbish movies, have some coffee and a small meal with boots on - while watching the TV or surfing the net etc. I first started to wear them because I was intensely curious as to how it fel to have your heel so far above the rest of your foot, and to find out how easy or hard it was to walk in them! After the first pair of boots, I was hooked, and the rest is history. At least in my case, wearing boots is just different from what I normally wear. Maybe thats why I find it so appealing....

[radiodave]

I guess I like wearing them because I always liked the way they looked, and it didn't seem fair that women have so many styles and guys have slim pickings. My fiancee agrees that guys' shoes are pretty boring, and she has no trouble with me wearing whatever I like around the house. Another reason I like wearing them is I have small, narrow feet for a guy (I can usually wear a women's 8.5-9 in regular width), and they actually fit better.

[Elegant]

I actually started looking for some nice shoes/boots and shopkeepers were usually amazed: "but these are women's shoes!". I obviously explained that the choice of "men's" footwear is so narrow and there are actually several styles in "women's" shoes that could be worn by men (not wanting to crossdress etc.) without any problems IF the shoe industry made them in proper sizes. The shopkeepers' reactions to my explanation were always positive, but I didn't buy anything- I found nothing in my size (43EU) in most shoe shops. There are some smaller shops that are selling large sizes, but their choice is limited and heels ain't as high as I wish (I'd wear 3:- 4" blocks). On Saturday, I bought a pair of second-hand very dark brown ankle boots with 2" Cuban heels and today I've visited some thrift stores. A female salesperson in one of them complimented me on my outfit (I was wearing a leather suit with these boots) and after I told her I bought everything (besides my shirt) in thrift stores, she was somewhat amazed and said that I looked as if the clothes were new, not second-hand.

[DsDarkThoughts]

For me, I find that I have always looked to the shoes of a woman before talking to them or even looking at them. I find that I have always found a woman in heels more attractive and witty that in flats. I was introduced to heels by a friend that had me crossdress as a gag for a party. I only did it for a chance in heels myself. Once I got to walk in heels I was hooked. Since then I have been in and out of heels for years. Only since finding this board did I become more in tune with myself and my enjoyment of heels. I had never freestyled before but have many times since my first post here. I love the way they make me feel, the way I walk and how I have to think about my heels as I do things, (get into a car, step over grates, walking up or down stairs). I am hoping to meet others in Dallas Texas that enjoy heels and freestyling. Would love to go shopping with someone for heels.

[Guy N. Heels]

...I think it's interesting to note that the female members of this board responded to a "Why I Wear Heels" survey originally posted at Jenny's website, and subsequently posted by FireFox, here. Amazingly, sexual arousal was mentioned as a reason, and scored an average of 4 out of 10. The answers ranged from 0 to 10... In conclusion, sexual arousal associated with an inanimate object does not, in and of itself, constitute sexual fetishism, nor is it necessarily a paraphilia.

So, if you obtain sexual arousal from your heeling, whether you're a guy or a girl, that's ok, provided it doesn't eclipse the significant others in your lives, or cause yourselves or others harm.

I thought I had posted this before, but perhaps it got lost in the shuffle. I think we need some definition on the term "sexual arousal", as employed in the responses to the survey. Does that mean that the respondent experienced some sort of personal sexual arousal by/through wearing heels, or does it mean that the respondent was trying/expecting to provoke sexual arousal in someone else?

[hoverfly]

I thought I had posted this before, but perhaps it got lost in the shuffle. I think we need some definition on the term "sexual arousal", as employed in the responses to the survey. Does that mean that the respondent experienced some sort of personal sexual arousal by/through wearing heels, or does it mean that the respondent was trying/expecting to provoke sexual arousal in someone else?

There is no one answer, and as I said before, both. It's what ever floats your boat, bottom line high heels can be a stimuli, visually and psychically for either the wear or the watcher. Form some it's just fashion, for others they hate them or does nothing to sexually arouse. The wearer might describe how high heels make them feel. To feel more attractive, for their own pleasure or to another person's pleasure or simply it's just fashion.

[FreeMannWorld]

Well i can only say for myself. It´s just not the Heels but more the varision off type off what you can get for grils i miss for mann, Low, High, mid, dossen matter for me. Just like some more for menn, but you can´t have it so what is ther to do.. Ono otter thing is that Most off the shoes for menn that are comfoterble look like something from otter space But take Acher for girls GOOD looking AND comfoterble! And i Haet the BIG GOFFY look on mens shoes!

[Dawn HH]

I'm with you, Hoverfly. I couldn't have said it better myself. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[Guy N. Heels]

There is no one answer, and as I said before, both. It's what ever floats your boat, bottom line high heels can be a stimuli, visually and psychically for either the wear or the watcher. Form some it's just fashion, for others they hate them or does nothing to sexually arouse. The wearer might describe how high heels make them feel. To feel more attractive, for their own pleasure or to another person's pleasure or simply it's just fashion.

Well, I agree with what you said, but the purpose of the question was to establish whether the respondants were saying that they were experiencing sexual stimulation, or were they trying to provoke sexual arousal?

i.e. Given my girlfriend's physical problems, I seriously doubt that she ever experienced any kind of sexual arousal from wearing heels. In my estimation, she did it purely to stimulate me. Do other women wear heels for the same reason?

[hoverfly]

Been there done that with my ex. Yes some women will wear heels just to stimulate their partner.

[BoyLegs]

Because they are beautiful, and I want to participate. I don't want to be stuck with the boring shoes.

[DandyDude]

To me, heel wearing is a style, not a fetish. However, ironically enough, a lot of women get aroused wearing heels. As I recall, there is a thread on that very topic, or at least one with that tangent, buried way back in the early threads.