Need help with my shoe fetish!

[Slingfan]

Hi everyone! I am having trouble coming to terms with my shoe and foot fetish, just wondering if anyone can offer advice on the subject? I love slingbacks, pumps, d'orsays and sandals and I love women in heels and sandals, I find them very sexy. I also enjoy wearing women's shoes and heels, especially slingbacks. This is where I am having trouble, I keep trying to give it up because it seems not normal to wear women's shoes being a guy and I find it very distracting. I love the feeling it gives me while wearing them but I hate sneaking around buying the shoes and sneaking them into my house and all past my parents (I'm only 21). I have thrown out many awesome pairs of shoes I have bought trying to give it up. Should I give them up or accept it, and if I accept it how do I do this? Any help would be much appreciated

[shrimper]

On your road to self-discovery, you're going to find a lot of different opinions about your taste for heels. It will affect your choice of partners and the depth of relationship with friends. First, you need to understand what it is you're feeling about heels. A place like this is a good vehicle for that. You can read the stories about other members here. They are all unique but the common thread is our love for heels. Many of us have been through binge purge cycles on our way to self-acceptance. Many of us have discarded friends who couldn't or wouldn't understand or accept us as we are. Are you in a relationship now? Is your other aware of your tastes? Do they accept it? Or have you not discussed it with anyone at all? If not just sit yourself down, get comfortable, start with the index, and read on. The learning is about to begin.

[Slingfan]

Thanks for the reply. I don't have a partner at the moment, no one knows about this except my mother who found a pair of heels in my room once. She wasn't very accepting of it though. Hopefully I can come to terms with it, I;ve either got to give it up or come to terms with it. Any more opinions are very welcome.

[johnieheel]

http://www.passionsforfootwear.com/psychology.htm

[johnieheel]

Finally figured it out. This is a really good site in case no one has seen it.

[since-i-can-rem]

I was Questioning myself the same Questions a few years ago. I found out, that I like to wear HighHeels cause I like the feeling to wear them and I love the look. I was thinking too, there could be something not right with me. But after all, it`s only shoes! I only wear shoes I like (Ok I´m not a street heeler) and nobody gets hurt or something if I wear them. And I´m not a pervert! There are many other things that are really pervert i.e. what we doing with nature etc.... Go and find your way, I am on my way too, but I´m still on the way to my personal solution.

[sscotty727]

Hi everyone!

I am having trouble coming to terms with my shoe and foot fetish, just wondering if anyone can offer advice on the subject? I love slingbacks, pumps, d'orsays and sandals and I love women in heels and sandals, I find them very sexy. I also enjoy wearing women's shoes and heels, especially slingbacks. This is where I am having trouble, I keep trying to give it up because it seems not normal to wear women's shoes being a guy and I find it very distracting. I love the feeling it gives me while wearing them but I hate sneaking around buying the shoes and sneaking them into my house and all past my parents (I'm only 21). I have thrown out many awesome pairs of shoes I have bought trying to give it up. Should I give them up or accept it, and if I accept it how do I do this? Any help would be much appreciated

Ok, first of all, there is nothing wrong with you, you are perfectly normal. As you can tell, you are in good company of guys that enjoy wearing heels. Now how far you go as far as wearing them in public or telling your family/friends depends on your comfort level. If you search through the threads, you will find alot of other guys that had to confront their parents with the issue of wearing heels. I've never had to cross that particular bridge, so I can't really advise you there. However being a parent, I can tell you that a parents love for their child is very strong and even though they might do stuff we might not like, it would take something much more than cross dressing or wearing heels to make them stop loving you. If nothing else, they would probably just have your best intrest at heart and just not want to see you hurt.

If you do choose to go out in heels, you can either be bold as some of the guys here and just wear the pumps out directly or you can be like me and start with more descrete block/wedge heels. Neither is wrong, just different style/comfort level. What you need to do is experiment and find your particular style that your comfortable with.

Good luck and don't be afraid to ask questions or share your adventure, no matter how "small" you think it might be.

Scotty

[jmc]

Greetings Slingfan! I am certain that the majority of us can relate to the experiences you describe. "Yup, been there, done that" goes through my mind as I read your post. Look around here, look through some of the old threads and you will find plenty of commonality. Our love of heels manifests itself in different ways for each of us. Some of us go for flash while others like to keep it low-key. Some of us strut our stuff in stiletto platforms which cannot be ignored while others try to blend in with the crowd. I am in the second category -- I try to be a regular-looking guy as much as possible -- except one with joyful feet because he is wearing interesting shoes. I don't care if nobody knows -- in fact I'd rather have nobody notice. It's not wrong. It's not bad. It doesn't hurt anybody. (Note those of us with families have extra considerations here.) It probably even supports a segment of the world economy! It is just part of us. We can ignore it, we can shove it into a corner, we can keep a lid on it, but only for a while. Call it a fetish, call it an obsession, call it a hang-up but a heeler is going to be a heeler. You'll find a lot of support here.

[Skirted-UK]

Forget about trying to give up wearing high heels because you will never do it, concentrate on excepting it and how you are going to live your life with it. When I was 16 along time ago, I developed a fetish for long straight black skirts which women were wearing at the time. I soon discovered that it was even more fun to wear them with high sling-back shoes which were also in fashion. Like you I went through periods of trying to give it up, but it only stressed me out and I would inevitable find myself at a remote location at night in a skirt and heels with an enormous feeling of relief washing over me. Every time I told myself this is the last time, I must get rid of my skirts and shoes. But the next day I would be sure to see a woman in a tight black skirt and high heels and I would think about wearing mine that night. I always thought that I would grow out of it but I never did. You will have the same problem, for were ever you go you will always see women in heels and it will bring it all back. Instead of letting it tear me apart I excepted it and learned to live with it. You will have to do the same. You can P.M me if you want any more help.

[dutch-bootboy]

accept it, you never can get it off :rofl:

[Mantorok]

I also am quite new here on the forum although I've registere for a long time I didnt really talk much here. I too "think" I have a fetish, although I wouldn't typically be arroused with the heels alone, they must be put on a woman and theen the fetish develops for that woman rather than for the shoe, because it makes her a princess to me.. So fux0ring with a heel to cum or smelling them.... thats not really for me, although i'd love to give my girlfriend a massage with her heels on and I would get nuts if she clicks her heel when she tongue kisses me... For the rest I think i've been able to map 50% of why I like high heels so much.. But not with men, it only restricts itself for women to me... I don't really think you need to be aware of 100% of your heel fetish or heel admiration, there's no magic in that. If you go over analyzing it it might become "normal" and it should never be a normal feeling so I like parts of the feeling to remain unexplained.. It's just the sound and grace of it that I can explain but theres some more motivations like , trying to think how proud she feels wearing them.. stuff like that, and a part is andropomorphisis of the thoughts of her who wears heels)... She can explain herself to bits to why she wears heels, but theres nothing more exciting than just having stuff in your head as a reason to why she does it

[Slingfan]

Hi all, Just a follow up to the last post. My fetish isn't only about wearing shoes, I love seeing women in a pair of sexy heels. I even love them in flat sandals. But I especially love them in heels, the way their legs look and everything. If I was with a girl who always wore sexy heels I might not even wear them, I don't know. But my interests extend only to being attracted to women in hot pairs of heels and shoes and wearing them because of the feeling I get. I am still coming to terms with it but some of the messages I have received in this topic are encouraging me to accept it, but I still have second thoughts.

[Mantorok]

You should be able to accept it. Many people just assume that when you have admiration for butts, boobs and symmetrical vamp faces that you are considdered normal, and that when you want to see a girl wear a skirt, then it is generally assumed it's because you want easy access. It's really difficult to try to convince men and women that you just want to admire the gracefullness and find that a motivating feeling on it's own without needing to distract to the common sexual feelings.. Ofcourse thats cool with your partner and all, You don't call a woman who rubs her hands on a leather ferrari seat fetish ? I don't think a fetish is a perversion as long as you don"t harrass people with it... Ofcourse it remains to be seen what others feel as "harrassment". On chats i see alot of spanking and whipping with people who love to persiflage being naughty and revert to sm practices to make themself look "bad"... but why is that more accepted than someone who admire heels ? i don't know.. it's just because the heel admiration isn't as widely known and satired as sm...

[johnieheel]

Hi slingfan. If you will go to the link I posted above" passion for footwear", It may explain all your answers or help you to understand. This is something you are going to have all your life and it dosen't make you any less of a man but you will have to come to terms with it in your own heart at one point. I'm just sorry I waited so long to do this. Life is much better now that I have learn to enjoy my fetish instead of hide it. It was not easy for none of us I'm sure growing up with this and dealing with narrow minded people in society. Good luck and please tell me if this link helped or not. Johnieheel.

[chris100575]

Hi Slingfan I think most of us have been through something similar. I went to see a counsellor, and she really helped me to accept my wanting to wear high heels. At the time I though that I wanted to cross-dress, but my sessions with her helped me to see that actually I was only really interested in the shoes. Two things she told me: Firstly, that this is actually pretty common, and she'd helped lots of other guys going through the same thing. Secondly, wanting to wear heels is harmless. You're not doing anything wrong, and not hurting any body. If wearing heels makes you feel good, then there's no reason why you should feel bad about it. Lastly, she also told me that it's not something you can give up. We've all tried it, and the desire doesn't go away. All that happens is that you lose nice shoes. Good luck, accepting this is hard, but ultimately it'll be better for you than trying to suppress it. Chris

[johnieheel]

I for one, have thrown out hundreds of dollars worth of nice shoes twice for women and found out I should have gotton rid of these narrow minded women instead. There are millions of nice women out there who will not have a problem with it at all and even get involved. It's something that is a part of me and it's never going to go away plus I really enjoy the many different styles of heels on me or women. It's you and there aint nothin wrong with it!!!!!!

[Guy N. Heels]

I for one, have thrown out hundreds of dollars worth of nice shoes twice for women and found out I should have gotton rid of these narrow minded women instead. There are millions of nice women out there who will not have a problem with it at all and even get involved. It's something that is a part of me and it's never going to go away plus I really enjoy the many different styles of heels on me or women. It's you and there aint nothin wrong with it!!!!!!

Hi Slingfan,

While I agree with much of what has been said here already, I would like to point out that this kind of thread/subject really belongs over in the For the Guys forum, where you will find that it has been discussed from many different angles and points of view. There is nothing you have said that hasn't already been thrashed-out over there.

Next, I would like to take a longer look at what Johnieheel said above. Unless you've got an incredible amount of disposable income, you'd better address yourself to living a lifetime with high heels and/or skirts. When I found myself going through the buy-purge- replace cycle again and again I had to look at it as if I saw one of my neighbors buying, trashing, and then replacing some item (mattresses, lawn furniture, whatever) and I had to say, "This is madness. This is the very essence of insanity!" In short, I had to stop the insanity! So for me, it was a matter of purging any guilt feelings and accepting the fact that I like wearing high heels and skirts. (I'm wearing both at the moment.)

So let's look at if for a moment: If I go into a store and try-on a pair of shoes, have I broken any laws? - NO.

If I buy a pair of shoes (high heeled or otherwise) have I broken any law? - NO.

If I decide to wear my purchase out of the store, have I broken any laws? - Again, NO. (These same questions and answers would also apply to any other article of clothing.)

So who am I hurting by going through the buy-purge- replace cycle again and again? ME! That's when I decided that I'm going to be me and only going to sell or throw-out the things I no longer want to keep. In short, it was time to stop the madness!

[balacau]

I was going to post something of my own experiences and advice but I think its already been said above; and far better than I could ever write it! A forum like this is a really educational place, and like yourself I have & had to sneak pairs of boots (boot fetishist here) past my eagle-eyed mom who really doesnt like them one bit. I'm not interested in skirts, under-clothes or even shoes, but boots are a big thing for me. I love the feel of them, and the height of the heel, plus the noise they make on the concrete tiled floor of the kitchen (chunky heels only). In actual fact, they have another use. During the last few weeks, things have been pretty remorseless and tense at work with quite a few redundancies and staff posts being moved etc; a very high state of tension exists everywhere you go on the site. So when I am home alone, I slip on a pair of boots and the relaxation I feel is.......well quite out of this world! You might say its theraputic in some ways..... Plus I'm not harming my health by binge drinking like most people in my office seem to, which also saves me money! See? Another advantage. As for the buy & replace cycle, well I didnt realise it but I have been there too. At one stage I had no less than 13 pairs of high heeled boots, most of them were knee highs and took up alot of space. Now I have just 6 pairs but there is a chaince that could be going up to 8 eventually. But getting rid of your shoes etc will not make the fetish go away, itll always be there. Its part of what makes you an "individual", and there isnt anything wrong with that at all.

[Thighboots2]

Slingfan

The other guys who have replied are quite right. You'll have to live with it. We do. Seems to me the best way is to get yourself some heels that you would wear out under pants and just carry on with life. Best to have something nice and safe, 3" block heel shoe, something like these

That's what I started wearing the above daily and that does take the heat out of your "passion". Under pants/trousers that are 2" longer than you normally wear, you will just go about your business without a second thought. Not too high so your gait is drastically altered and you get very used to wearing heels out and about. Nice wide heel to give the stability you need so there is no hint of wobble and this loss of poise (which is the biggest single problem when going out in heels, and it always happens when you feel someone is looking at you).

Yeah, we would all love to have the freedom to wear stiletto heels out and about without a care as the ladies do, but even they need to practice to be able to wear them gracefully and that is where you have to get to. Just take a look around you on a Friday/Saturday evening outside the bars & clubs at chucking out time, nicely lubricated with alcohol, girls cant handle their shoes and turn from swans to ugly ducklings.

Like you (and I guess almost every other male on the board) I really appreciate seeing women dressed nicely. Skirt suit, hose and heels turn my head everytime. I've been a legs and feet man all my life and I'm not about to change, so why should you worry about it. The ladies love getting the admiring glances, especially when they have made the effort to look nice, so why should you not be the one to give them. just leave some for me to glance at

TB2

[Shafted]

Slingfan

Like you (and I guess almost every other male on the board) I really appreciate seeing women dressed nicely. Skirt suit, hose and heels turn my head everytime. I've been a legs and feet man all my life and I'm not about to change, so why should you worry about it. The ladies love getting the admiring glances, especially when they have made the effort to look nice, so why should you not be the one to give them. just leave some for me to glance at

TB2

Isn't it amazing how sexy a well covered woman is. Your taste are almost identical to mine of a well dressed woman. Unfortunatly many of the male gender in this day and age think trashy is sexy. What a calamity.

[Slingfan]

Hi all, Just letting you all know how I'm going. I have just bought 3 pairs of heels, one is a 5 inch strappy sandal, the other a 3 inch slingback sandal and a low heeled pump. I love wearing them and am getting more comfortable about wearing women's shoes and enjoying women in heels. I don't know how long it will last but I'll keep you posted. All the messages in this forum have helped me heaps though.

[asdf174]

Thats cool. My advice is the buy and wear them Don't stop doing what you love. Really it just comes down to rather or not you can accept it.

[dr1819]

It's important to note that a strong or intense passion for something does not meet the clinical definish of the term, "fetish," which is reserved for objects and activities without which orgasm cannot usually be achieved. I love flying, but it's not a fetish for me. I love wearing heels, but it's not a fetish for me. Once you put things into that perspective, it's simply an attraction towards an item of clothing normally worn by the opposite sex. As you can see from this website, however, it's not all that uncommon. Believe it or not, about 30% of all men have worn heels on more than one occasion. I do know for a fact that 25% of all men cross-dress on a regular basis, but the duration and location is usually quite limited (at home, pulling on the wife's panties while she's out). Stats about how many wear heels regularly are scarce, but I believe it's several percent. If I had to venture a guess, it's probably higher than the number of men who're ordained ministers! Thus, the frequency (or lack thereof) of an activity doesn't make it abnormal. If that were true, men wearing heels would be more normal and socially acceptable than men becoming ordained ministers. Fortunately, as times change, people have become more accepting of deviations from the norm. Even deviant behavior itself is no longer taboo, but is itself accepted by much of society. My cousin's boyfriend paints his nails, but my family, very conservative, still thinks a lot of the both of them, and they're always welcome in our home. Times change, and more men are heeling today than ever before. Heck, there's even three entire threads on a fashion forums message board devoted to discussing the wearing of heels by males. The word's out there, and it'll only become more accepted as time goes on, and more of the males who've been hiding their heels do less hiding and do more heeling in public.

[Guy N. Heels]

It's important to note that a strong or intense passion for something does not meet the clinical definish of the term, "fetish," which is reserved for objects and activities without which orgasm cannot usually be achieved.

I love flying, but it's not a fetish for me. I love wearing heels, but it's not a fetish for me.

Once you put things into that perspective, it's simply an attraction towards an item of clothing normally worn by the opposite sex. As you can see from this website, however, it's not all that uncommon.

Believe it or not, about 30% of all men have worn heels on more than one occasion. I do know for a fact that 25% of all men cross-dress on a regular basis, but the duration and location is usually quite limited (at home, pulling on the wife's panties while she's out).

Stats about how many wear heels regularly are scarce, but I believe it's several percent...

Thus, the frequency (or lack thereof) of an activity doesn't make it abnormal...

Fortunately, as times change, people have become more accepting of deviations from the norm...Times change, and more men are heeling today than ever before. Heck, there's even three entire threads on a fashion forums message board devoted to discussing the wearing of heels by males.

The word's out there, and it'll only become more accepted as time goes on, and more of the males who've been hiding their heels do less hiding and do more heeling in public.

I agree. I think it would be very interesting to have some accurate figures on how many men wear heels (skirts, panties, jewelry, whatever) on a regular basis. In my opinion it would easily be in double digit percentage points. Let's face it, the design of high heels and what they do to the wearer projects a very powerful image that is impossible to deny and nearly impossible to resist. I don't see that going away anytime soon.

[JSpikeheels]

this reply is specifically to "bacalau's " remarks how stress at his job found it's release in the pleasures of heel-wearing...

stress release was the catalyst last spring that led me to wearing heels with stockings and a skirt for the first time...

and broke some longstanding "engrams" as L Ron Hubbard's "Dianetics" would characterize them...

..so I definitely find similarities with your own path of discovery and I know I can never put this genie "back in the bottle" again...and it has been a totally worthwhile experience and adventure..

JSpikeheels

[Guy N. Heels]

this reply is specifically to "bacalau's " remarks how stress at his job found it's release in the pleasures of heel-wearing...

stress release was the catalyst last spring that led me to wearing heels with stockings and a skirt for the first time...

and broke some longstanding "engrams" as L Ron Hubbard's "Dianetics" would characterize them...

..so I definitely find similarities with your own path of discovery and I know I can never put this genie "back in the bottle" again...and it has been a totally worthwhile experience and adventure... JSpikeheels

Hey, nice shoes and skirt.