my mom found my shoes!!

[Guy N. Heels]

No. NO! NOOOOOO! A thousand times no on the rat trap idea!

Since you've never mentioned your dad, I assume your mother is a single parent. You must remember that your mother is concerned about a great number of things including paying the rent (or mortgage) getting food on the table, and how you are doing in your schoolwork. Then one day she finds a pair of heels under her son's bed and now she's all concerned about your sexuality/sexual activities and/or drug activities.

Believe me, you'll get a lot more mileage out of reassuring her that she has nothing to worry about and that you are simply trying to expand your fashion horizons. Here's where you have to sell her on the idea that there's nothing wrong and that she's simply making much ado about nothing. But you will never convince her in male terms, ie legalism, rights, etc. You must appeal to her sense of fashion and the need to look attractive, cool, taller, or whatever. Appeal to her feminine side and you'll get anything you want. Try the rat-trap or other hammer & dynamite tactics and you'll find yourself miserable with a broken mother/son relationship. So forget the rat traps.

[hoverfly]

No. NO! NOOOOOO! A thousand times no on the rat trap idea!

Ok, ok, ok!! use a mouse trap instead........mabye one of those sticky things....

Hay, if the parent wont talk about him x dressing than what is going to make them talk to him about sex, drugs, alcohol and other important things in life???!! I still prefer the Idea of using the rat trap...... Personally it would serve the parent right for nosing around with out confronting the them.

[Guy N. Heels]

Ok, ok, ok!! use a mouse trap instead........mabye one of those sticky things....

Hay, if the parent wont talk about him x dressing than what is going to make them talk to him about sex, drugs, alcohol and other important things in life???!! I still prefer the Idea of using the rat trap...... Personally it would serve the parent right for nosing around with out confronting the them.

I've been following this thread almost from its begining and I don't seem to recall anything about X dressing. The lad seems to have concerns about his mother finding a pair of heels in his room. Also, it seems to me that the mother and the lad have addressed the issue(s) involved. The problem, as I see it, is that the matter has not yet been resolved to everyone's satisfaction.

Now we can escalate this thing to all kinds of preposterous extremes, or we can try and resolve the matter sensibly. What I'm offering is the kind of advice I would give my own 16 yr old son. If this young man plays his cards right he'll have won his mother over and might even find her buying heels for him. Pull out the hammer and dynamite stuff and I guarantee a broken relationship and an outcome that will satisfy nobody.

[balacau]

I have to agree with forgetting about the rat (or mouse) traps....although for a while I must admit I found it an entertaining idea From the arguments I had with my mom about this very topic, I found out that she was more scared of someone finding the boots (I have no skirts, etc) than she was of the fact I was wearing heeled boots. I found this strange at first but I think its more along the lines of the embarrassment she would feel when awkward questions started to fly. Interestingly enough, only a few weeks back, my uncle informed me that one of his friends has a wife; who returning home from work early one day found her husand wearing a pair of 7" stilleto heel, bright orange shoes. Did they argue or throw stuff at each other? No, she just got the camera, took a pic and they had a laugh about it. Its a "private" joke with them and not much more. I actually talked to him and the topic came up, he thinks its fun to wear them....I envy his sense of balance. Anyway, I guess confronting the parent responsible for removing what is legally YOUR property from your room is the only way to make sure it doesnt happen again. Mom just thinks its a "phase" and I'll get over it. I asked her directly yesterday what a fetish was and she has no idea. Can't be easy for her but I wouldn't tolerate her invading my privacy either.

[dr1819]

I would agree with the rest - rat traps are a very immature way to go. Just be honest with your heel-wearing, remind her of your loyalty for her as your mom, and reaffirm you interests in girls, not men, and your lack of interest in wearing other articles of women's clothing. These simple things should be enough to calm her fears. In fact, just print this and sign it: Name:_________________________________ Date:___________

[Skirted-UK]

I'm afraid its a sad fact of life that as women adopt a more masculine style of dress and abandon heels and skirts in favour of jeans and trainers they still expect the men in their lives to be wearing a suit and tie. You have to understand that most women think in a completely different way than we do. They do not understand the fun and pleasure that we get from wearing skirts and heels, to them they are just clothes. Its ok for a woman to wear jeans and Doc Martins, but if the man in her life wears heels, he is definitely crossdressing, properly gay or even a transsexual. You can talk to them for ever about fashion, freedom of choice etc, but at best they are still going to think its a bit weird and at worst they will think that you are making excuses for your sexuality. The best way to describe it is to say that wearing heels or skirts gives you the same high as eating chocolate! As for going through a phase, yeah I thought that when I was 16 and started wearing skirts and heels, that was 40 odd years ago! All I can say is that I'm glad it was not a phase because I have had an awful lot of fun in that time!

[davefry]

Hoverfly: You're right, I did just go out and buy new stuff. Which is why I'm concerned that I'm going away on Tuesday for nearly 7 weeks, and I have to leave my room unlocked for some engineer from British Gas to fix our heating. I'll hide and lock what I can, but otherwise, I know my parents are going to go through my stuff again. I did think about locking some stuff in the boot of my car, but I'm driving to the airport, and the car will be looked after by the parking attendents for as long as I'm away. They're not having my stuff, either. I'm taking my favourite stuff with me, anyway, because I'll find somewhere I can wear my 4" boots. I don't mean to appear as woman (said this before), and I don't consider what I wear as cross-dressing, but I do have skirts, trousers and jeans from TopShop, Miss Sixty, H&M, etc. Now, that's obviously female clothing as it's sold, but it's not female when it's on me. I don't consider it to be male, either. To be honest, it all started with heels. And then I bought knee high boots, and then I wanted to see what they'd be like with a skirt etc etc. Now, I know what I like, and whilst I'd never wear a skirt out, I'm happy to wear boots out under long bootcut trousers, because that's how I'm comfortable. That said, I'm yet to street heel on my own, let alone in the daylight.

[hoverfly]

I've been following this thread almost from its begining and I don't seem to recall anything about X dressing. The lad seems to have concerns about his mother finding a pair of heels in his room. Also, it seems to me that the mother and the lad have addressed the issue(s) involved. The problem, as I see it, is that the matter has not yet been resolved to everyone's satisfaction.

Don't get to anle about me saying X dressing, just think what his mother might have been thinking...... Not how we think. Second I am glad some one has a sense of humor about the rat traps. But my point is that no parent has a right to pass off others personal property with out telling them why.

[davefry]

It would be classed as theft, provided you pay rent for your own personal space.

[hoverfly]

Hoverfly:

You're right, I did just go out and buy new stuff. Which is why I'm concerned that I'm going away on Tuesday for nearly 7 weeks, and I have to leave my room unlocked for some engineer from British Gas to fix our heating. I'll hide and lock what I can, but otherwise, I know my parents are going to go through my stuff again.

I did think about locking some stuff in the boot of my car, but I'm driving to the airport, and the car will be looked after by the parking attendents for as long as I'm away. They're not having my stuff, either.

I'm taking my favorite stuff with me, anyway, because I'll find somewhere I can wear my 4" boots. I don't mean to appear as woman (said this before), and I don't consider what I wear as cross-dressing, but I do have skirts, trousers and jeans from TopShop, Miss Sixty, H&M, etc. Now, that's obviously female clothing as it's sold, but it's not female when it's on me. I don't consider it to be male, either.

To be honest, it all started with heels. And then I bought knee high boots, and then I wanted to see what they'd be like with a skirt etc etc.

Now, I know what I like, and whilst I'd never wear a skirt out, I'm happy to wear boots out under long bootcut trousers, because that's how I'm comfortable.

That said, I'm yet to street heel on my own, let alone in the daylight.

Better talk to them now on how offended you were it's the only way to stop them form doing it again since it sounds like you have so much stuff, but I would still take what you can. Point out that they can talk about it when you get back, as long the stuff will be where you left it. Obviously the first time did not stop you, what's going to stop you again if they take the stuff? Better have them think about it for 7 weeks than in 7 minutes clearing out your room.

[balacau]

An unusual thing happened at work today (although I didnt see it). Apparently according to one of the women in the office, she saw a man in womens clothes and high heel shoes walking around site.... She immediately leapt at the idea that the guy was a trans-sexual and I felt like throwing something at her (even though I was admiring his courage silently!). I'm always amazed at how people make assumptions based on so few facts, and then get moody when they couldn't be further from the truth; although to show people just how far from the truth they are is always fun I now have all my boots stashed away in various furniture of mine which is stowed in the garade during the replacing of the windows. In fact, and call me sad for doing this, I rehearsed the whole thing about a year ago when I realised that there might be an occasion when my room would have to be emptied for such a thing......seems that was time well spent! Well, I counted all of the people who know me personally and know about my boots, and mom is the 13th person! I'm wondering if pointing out that shes the only one who has a problem with it will do any good... Oh well, its just an idea lol.

[Shafted]

You should have just casually corrected her by saying transvestite, unless of course she has x-ray vision and could se something the rest of us couldn't.

[Guy N. Heels]

There are many valid points that have been made so far: 1] property rights are definitely at issue and should be observed - but at the expense of the mother/son relationship? This needs to be weighed very carefully. 2] Women are definitely different than men - Vive la differance! So of course women think differently than men. Any mortition can tell you that women have an altogether different brain than men - and by the way, it's us guys that have suffered the brain damage. 3] The woman is most likely in need of reassurance that her son is a) not sexually active, not homosexual, and c) not off the deep end with drugs or alcohol or anything at all. So let's help the lad reassure his mother, who is probably a little stressed-out on this thing, and help him pick up his shoes on the way back to his room.

[Dawn HH]

Good thinking, Guy N. Heels. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[mules4ever]

hi all the other day when my mom arrived home, i was at my computer with my shoes on, but she did noticed that i was wearing them, after a bit, she asked me if i was wearing "my shoes" and i said yes and show her. She laugh a bit a then asked me to walk around in them, when i walked she realized that if i walked so good the shoes must be mine. She asked if i ever wear them outside and i said no wich is true (for now). She also said if i wear them outside i should start with lower heels but a think she was kidding

[Dr. Shoe]

You should have just casually corrected her by saying transvestite, unless of course she has x-ray vision and could se something the rest of us couldn't.

Even with X-ray vision you'd not have known the difference. There are such things as pre-op transexuals.

[Shafted]

Good point, Dr. Shoe!

[Dawn HH]

Mules4ever:-) It sounds like your Mom was O.K. with you wearing your heels in the house and seemed impressed that you could walk so well in them. You have just broken the ice and now you can start a dialog about wearing heels with your Mom. Let us all know just what happens next. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[ShockQueen]

Bravo! You managed that hurdle with quite a bit of ease! It's great that she took it so well, so at least now there is no doubt in her mind that you do wear them, and things can only get easier from there on.

[sendra45]

You could leave a note on top of your clothes and shoes addressed to your mum explaining why she should not throw them out again, it is worth a try. Its a shame you live miles away, I would have offered to look afterthem while you were gone, the offer stands to anybody else you does not live too far away and is in a similar situation. I know what you are going through. Nigel.

[Dawn HH]

Nigel:-) That's a very nice gesture on your part to help someone out in that situation. I applaud you. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[canadianbeaver17]

That's awesome, man! And by her telling you to try a lower heel (even though it might be a joke), it shows that she's taking a liking to it. Keep it up.

[balacau]

Wow I sure missed some good news Well, congratulations! It must have taken some courage on your part to be wearing them when she came in and not freak out as I probably would... It should make life easier for the both of you. Well done I don't think I can try that idea, mom's stressed enough with the repairs on the house and is under alot of pressure from my sister who wants her baby-sitting all the time so I think maybe letting the dust settle before stirring it up again in my case might be worth a try. But she knows I have boots and if she throws them away I have said I'll just get more so I think at least I'm safe from them vanishing into some bin bags...

[Guy N. Heels]

hi all the other day when my mom arrived home, i was at my computer with my shoes on, but she did noticed that i was wearing them, after a bit, she asked me if i was wearing "my shoes" and i said yes and show her. She laugh a bit a then asked me to walk around in them, when i walked she realized that if i walked so good the shoes must be mine. She asked if i ever wear them outside and i said no wich is true (for now). She also said if i wear them outside i should start with lower heels but a think she was kidding

Great going, kid! Just by hanging in there and being cool, you've won the day! Now just give mom some space to get used to you wearing heels and you'll soon have things going your way. Great news!

[Dawn HH]

Great news, indeed! Cheers--- Dawn HH

[docs41]

Sounds like you have passed a major hurdle with your mother over your shoes. From her reply she seems like she is pretty cool and after a while she won't even notice what you wear. So keep wearing them at home and see where it leads. I'll bet she will be cool with your choices. Keep the communication open with her too. I really like your wedges!!!! Did you buy them yourself???