ShockQueen Posted May 31, 2002 Posted May 31, 2002 This was written last night while working. Shows you how much free time I have on my hands these days *grin*. Views on "the norm": --------------------- One thing I tend to notice is people's view of "the norm". What is "the norm"? For myself, I think it's a totally subjective view. "The norm" is what people tend to make of it, and it pretty much fits what they are the most comfortable with. What really rocks their world is when someone comes along and upsets the delicate balance that was set up in their minds. It can be pretty much anything that the person has not been subjected to before, or has yet to encounter. Most people react to this with a sense of curiosity, wondering why this difference has suddenly appeared in their life, and then the though process starts on how to best deal with the situation at hand. Unfortunately, in this day and age, many react to surprises in life negatively. Why this is still baffles me to this day, as people on the whole seem to get off on being miserable about at least something in life, so therefore the easiest course of action is to inflict their negative feelings on those they come across. This, of course, only makes things worse, because not only is the person dealing with the unknown element handling it badly, the only way they can rectify the situation in order to make themselves feel better, is to inflict this negative feeling onto someone else. It's a good thing to be curious, but it's the way people go about it that leaves much to be desired much of the time. Society plays a part in this, and I mean a large part. People in a "society" tend to go with one set of variables, and if there is an unknown element, the formulated reaction in the case is to drive it away. Most of the time, the people will not even acknowledge the fact that there is a better way - it's been conditioned by "society". This is the major point when I say that society is very much overrated. People like to live in a "comfort zone" that all the elements are known to them, and there is little change. This is the way it is for most people, because that requires the least amount of effort. There are the types out there that like to take a challenge, break society boundaries, and just re-learn to go out and have fun, and live life to it's limits. For those, there are no boundaries since they have already been broken, or are in the process of BEING broken. These are the people who have learned to deal with the "unknown elements" in their lives through reason, and exploration. Also, on the other hand, it's up to the "explorer" to figure out how best to deal with a "society issue" when it presents itself. This is also another fault that some have dealing with. If the "explorer" gets into a situation where things are rough, and the path that they are following is blocked, then they tend to also react negatively to the situation. In order to rectify such things, it's best to either deal with things rationally, or just explore a new path, whether it be within or without. Sometimes people change to fit that situation, while other times, people will change the situation to fit the person. I see people talking and writing about discrimination all the time, but there is one form that is constantly overlooked - appearance discrimination. This is where people are judged solely on outward appearance, never going beyond that point. I think this is where the "first impression" rule of society comes in - first impressions count. This is neither a negative statement, or a positive one - it just is, and that's all it is - a statement. It's up to the individual whether it is a positive one or a negative one. This was an issue in the 60's with "free love", in the 70's with "fitting in (image issue)", in the 80's with "hanging with the right crowd" and "belonging", and in the 90's with "getting along with each other". It seems that people have become so dead-set on belonging to some clique, or group, that they have totally blinded themselves to any other possibility since it means so much to them to get to that one goal they don't even see any others. Is this right? Is this wrong? No...on both counts. It merely "is". People don't seem to get the picture that you don't HAVE to belong. You are entitled to be your own person, and to have your own beliefs. You don't need to conform to any one set of rules....well...outside of the legal ones, that is. This is a product of government of where you live, and pretty much sets the tone for the other variables. Do remember though, that if you leave one place to go to another, that the tone set by whatever laws there are can change, so one should be prepared for that. Outside of that one point, people are free to make their own choices, and then act on them as best they see fit. If you succeed with your formula, then all the better. If you fail, there is no shame in that. You just learn from the experience, and move on. You will find that there are many such situations in life where you have to make the best choice for yourself, and it may not suit “the norm”, but you have to figure that out for yourself. We each make our own choices in life, and that will shape the road that you will travel down. SQ.....still busting societal molds with a smile...and a 50-ton sledge!
Scuffy Posted June 7, 2002 Posted June 7, 2002 Nice essay!!! If it was for a class, I’m sure you will get an A.
Francis Posted June 7, 2002 Posted June 7, 2002 normal what is normal? who defines 'normal'? normal is effectively what nearly everybody does, so in one sense, what we see as weird in one country could quite well be normal in another. so how can there be a normal that applies? answer : there can't be anything normal
Laurieheels Posted June 8, 2002 Posted June 8, 2002 Normal is breathing and thinking. Abnormal is being dead. Anything more detailed than that is creating stereotypes and paradigms and I'll have no part of that!
Jeff Posted June 8, 2002 Posted June 8, 2002 Actualy being dead is quite as normal as the next thing.. It's part of everyone's life, if you like it or not.. Now, people killing eachother.. That's what I call abnormal. Unfortunately it happens so much these days that it's almost becoming 'normal'. Greetz, Jeff --- "She's going shopping, shopping for shoe-oe-oe-oes She wants them in magenta and Caribbean blue-ue-ue-ue" - Imelda, Mark Knopfler
Laurieheels Posted June 9, 2002 Posted June 9, 2002 Dead as being abnormal was a comment on social commentary, I mean, dead people don't participate, they just lie there and write music backwards. And if they do get up and move around, in a zombie like fashion, they are more abnormal than ever!
Dr. Shoe Posted June 9, 2002 Posted June 9, 2002 In mathematics, the "norm" is a standard by which everything else is measured. Engineers call this a "benchmark" What everyone else calls normal is "what-everyone-else-is". A gay friend of mine was called abnormal by his mother who was ashamed of him because of his lifestyle and preferences, not to mention the fact that she would never become a grandmother (!). I helped him to write a "snottogram" to her saying that her archaic atitude was the only abnormal quality relating to the case. To me, normal is having two legs, a nose and a head (apologies to anyone who lack any of these things), to me, abnormal is living in New York or London or Moscow or wherever simply because more people DON'T live in these cities than those that do. Excercising sartorial individuality has nothing to do with normal or abnormal because there are more people on this planet who do not wear trousers than those who do. It is not "normal" for people to wear heels (male or female) because there are more people who will never wear them than those who will. Graduate footwear designer able to advise and assist on modification and shoe making projects.
Firefox Posted June 9, 2002 Posted June 9, 2002 Surely, since everyone is different, the terms normal and abnormal have very little meaning anyway.
Foon Posted June 9, 2002 Posted June 9, 2002 It's normal to be different. It's abnormal to be exactly the same as everyone else. I'm unique - just like everyone else.
Firefox Posted June 9, 2002 Posted June 9, 2002 It was Interesting talking to your housemate about "comfort zones" when he said that if you wore heels that was OK, but if you were wearing a dress he'd have a problem. I know he was trying to understand it all, but I couldn't really undertand his perspective on the differentiation between various items of clothing. For me anything would "go". It's not easy to relate such mental discomfort to physical discomfort.
Foon Posted June 9, 2002 Posted June 9, 2002 I've had the same discussion with him many times, and I can't understand it either. He classes wearing a skirt as "full drag", which is therefore "wrong" and "unacceptable", yet he's fine with me wandering around in stilettos. He's entitled to his viewpoint I guess, but I can't understand why he would have a problem with one and not the other. It's probably much the same confusion as he has about why I wear heels at all...
Dr. Shoe Posted June 10, 2002 Posted June 10, 2002 On 2002-06-10 01:15, Firefox wrote: Surely, since everyone is different, the terms normal and abnormal have very little meaning anyway. That is exactly what I was trying to get at. I also agree with what Foon said about abnormality is being the same as everyone else. Graduate footwear designer able to advise and assist on modification and shoe making projects.
Firefox Posted June 10, 2002 Posted June 10, 2002 Why try to be "normal"? Try to be yourself is a better idea. Ignore what the media throws at you, they are only trying to sell stuff to make money.
ShockQueen Posted June 20, 2002 Author Posted June 20, 2002 Very true! It's amazing how people succumb to the media in regards to what you should look like. I think it's the main cause of so many stereotypes these days. SQ.....still busting societal molds with a smile...and a 50-ton sledge!
Francis Posted June 20, 2002 Posted June 20, 2002 I couldn't give a flying f*** what the media have to say on fashion issues as most of the critics who write the stuff have been paid by whatever fashion house to be nice to them. Their payment canbe cash or merchandise, either way they've been bought off and as such have no rights to print anything. Normal? Huh! Who wants to be Normal? I don't !!
Yamyam Posted June 20, 2002 Posted June 20, 2002 On 2002-06-20 13:04, Francis wrote: Normal? Huh! Who wants to be Normal? I don't !! I've just never been any good at normal. Perhaps I'm just lucky that way. Obsessed is such a strong word. I prefer to think of myself as "differently enthusiastic"
ShockQueen Posted June 20, 2002 Author Posted June 20, 2002 Trying to be normal is a fruitless search, which always ends up leaving the person who is doing the searching with an empty feeling inside, and no real sense of accomplishment, for all they have done is stripped away their individuality and made themselves one of an endless string of clones (aka "The Borg"). SQ.....still busting societal molds with a smile...and a 50-ton sledge!
JeffB Posted June 22, 2002 Posted June 22, 2002 Normal is what you make it out to be. Plain and simple! I don't want to LOOK like a woman, I just want to DRESS like a woman!
Laurieheels Posted June 23, 2002 Posted June 23, 2002 And for those of us who like to be abnormal, different, and weird? Can we be anti normal if normal is what we make?
Charlie Posted June 30, 2002 Posted June 30, 2002 You're making me dizzy Laurie! Charlie Everything I say is a lie!.......I'm lying
Laurieheels Posted June 30, 2002 Posted June 30, 2002 You're making me dizzy Laurie! Charlie I tend to have that effect on people, but usually I have been leading by example. Dizzy. Blonde. Come on, catch the reference!
Yamyam Posted July 5, 2002 Posted July 5, 2002 Dizzy. Blonde. Come on, catch the reference! Ouch Obsessed is such a strong word. I prefer to think of myself as "differently enthusiastic"
Laurieheels Posted July 6, 2002 Posted July 6, 2002 Ouch Ouch? WHy? I am a blonde who leads by example for all the dizzy people. Why ouch and frown? I am making a joke!
Francis Posted July 6, 2002 Posted July 6, 2002 come one people! Laurie's making a subtle point here! If you can't laugh at yourself, then you can't laugh at others! :-)
Laurieheels Posted July 7, 2002 Posted July 7, 2002 Why Francis, how clever of you. You have explained it all so well. I have earned the right to laugh at others. My theory is this. Laugh with me, laugh at me, what do I care, so long as you're laughing and having a good time.
ShockQueen Posted July 8, 2002 Author Posted July 8, 2002 Excellent theory, Laurie! I like the way you think! Too many people are so bitter nowadays that it's good to laugh! SQ.....still busting societal molds with a smile...and a 50-ton sledge!
Yamyam Posted July 12, 2002 Posted July 12, 2002 Ouch? WHy? I am a blonde who leads by example for all the dizzy people. Why ouch and frown? I am making a joke! Sorry, Laurie (said the poet who didn't know it!) I was suffering the combination of a very bad day and a painful memory of someone else. You know how it is when someone says something, but all you can see in front of you is a reference to something else? Well, that's what happened then. I feel much better now. Obsessed is such a strong word. I prefer to think of myself as "differently enthusiastic"
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