Our Cause

[Fog]

There's a lot of talk of "our cause" on this forum recently. I'm wondering how many of the guys out there see male heel wearing as a cause, to win the hearts and minds of society and particularly of opinion formers within the fashion world? I disagree with this view, I wear heels for my own enjoyment and pleasure, knowing that it will never be a mainstream fashion for men in my lifetime and am sanguine about that. In fact if everyone wore heels where would the fun be in it? I feel particularly strongly that I'm not responsible to other members of our cause to present myself in public in a way that will promote male heel wearing. The only responsibiltiy I feel is to myself to conduct myself in a way that will help to ensure my personal safety (I was once nearly beaten to a pulp by someone who supposed I was gay and objected to my wearing a pink shirt - many years before heel wearing entered my head), and safeguard the feelings of my partner, who's views are important to me. Hence I don't wear heels in Horsham town centre, where I might be seen by her friends. I tried to add a poll, but my ancient computer crashed every time I tried to add options, so I can only hope to start some discussion around this topic.

[heelsRus]

There's a lot of talk of "our cause" on this forum recently. I'm wondering how many of the guys out there see male heel wearing as a cause, to win the hearts and minds of society and particularly of opinion formers within the fashion world?

I disagree with this view, I wear heels for my own enjoyment and pleasure, knowing that it will never be a mainstream fashion for men in my lifetime and am sanguine about that. In fact if everyone wore heels where would the fun be in it?

I feel particularly strongly that I'm not responsible to other members of our cause to present myself in public in a way that will promote male heel wearing. The only responsibiltiy I feel is to myself to conduct myself in a way that will help to ensure my personal safety (I was once nearly beaten to a pulp by someone who supposed I was gay and objected to my wearing a pink shirt - many years before heel wearing entered my head), and safeguard the feelings of my partner, who's views are important to me. Hence I don't wear heels in Horsham town centre, where I might be seen by her friends.

I tried to add a poll, but my ancient computer crashed every time I tried to add options, so I can only hope to start some discussion around this topic.

I'm of two minds on this one. On the one hand, it's not really a serious issue - it's footwear. Compare to fighting serious illness or homelessness or ... well, you get the idea. On the other hand, wouldn't it be nice if there wasn't the stigma associated with our little harmless desire? So for that reason if someone wants to enlighten the unwashed, go for it. I don't think anything short of a lot! of guys doing it and a pile more women openly claiming they think it's great will make a difference. There is little to no discussion going on in the general population about this. As has been pointed out in another thread, even the manufacturers aren't interested.

I'll keep wearing though. I like it.

[kneehighs]

Its like our Freestyle Fashion version of affirmative action.

Why do they have to be mutually exclusive? I conduct myself to assure my personal safety. Once I know that element is fulfilled, then i can focus on dressing well. Once I know that element is fulfilled, I can focus on helping others. All my posts have really very little to do with advancing my own personal agenda. NYC already has laws protecting my rights to wear high heels and its a liberal city already. I'm just trying to make it easier for the next guy.

As far as complacency, if one is getting good feedback there is a danger of developing overconfidence. And that overconfidence could have bad consequences for the individual as well as the collective whole. Individually, you could be rebuked at work. Or worse, fired. As a collective whole, it could reinforce a bad stereotype people have in their minds of men in heels. I never said both couldn't co-exist or that one issue is more important than the other. I just happen to focus on the collective whole and illuminate that focus in my posts. In other words, I don't see why the focus on basic personal safety and the focus on others can't co-exist? In a weird way, by focusing on how my street heeling behavior affects others I am indirectly affecting some other street heelers safety because of the positive impression I left with the potential harasser. They kind of go hand in hand in a way. If anyone wants to wear a dress and heels, I have no problem with that nor did I ever preach against it.. Just becuase my personal focus is for others doesn't mean that there isn't an equally valid focus on the individual as well.

People just focus on different things. Hence one body, but many parts. The eyes see, the ears hear. Different functions but they still have something in common--namely they are men who like to wear high heels. And by contributing in an "affirmative action" sense, I believe I am increasing awareness, raising understanding, and promoting easier tolerance for the next guy.

[bladerunner]

I dont see heel wearing as a 'cause',its something i enjoy.But at the same time i would be very happy for all men to do the same (it wont happen though) and only then would you take away any feelings of being 'unusual' and attracting unwanted attention from people who cannot except others for being different and reacting in an irrational and sometimes violent way.I would not enjoy the prospect of any abuse,but unfortunately that seems to be the way of the world.Not forgetting many people suffer this indignity just for their race or gender,as you tend to read in the papers on a daily basis. Fogborkenvv as a matter of interest, does your partner support you? or are you what i call tolerated?

[Fog]

Kneehighs)

I agree with your view that it's easy to become complacent because of the supportive nature of this board. Regular street heelers describe outings, first timers describe outings often euphoricaly and urge others to do the same; because the world didn’t stop, nothing bad happened it was a great rush, tempered by the fact that no-one really noticed. In the same way, I feel it’s safe for me to cycle in Central London, I’d tell anyone who lived within fifteen miles of their place of employment that it was a mode of transport to work worth considering. That wouldn’t take into account their level of personal fitness, competence at riding a bicycle in heavy traffic or attitude to risk. In putting forward that view I would expect anyone who listened to me and take my advice should make their own decision and not hold me responsible for the consequences.

Returning to how we present ourselves I hope I dress sensibly - but who knows. Because the forum is so supportive I'm not sure if I'd get an accurate opinion if I posted a picture of myself looking ridiculous. I'm not suggesting anyone here would be deliberately dishonest to save my feelings, there might be a few supporters, but I'd imagine that the majority would follow Thumper's adage "If you ain't got nothing nice to say, don't say nothing at all"

Bladerunner)

My partner more than tolerates me. Accepts is probably the best word to describe it. She's a very private person, so to describe what she likes and dislikes on the internet feels like betrayal. She's happy with my "hobby", she ranges between quite likes and very much likes me wearing some items of feminine clothing at home or as long as it's descrete - skirts are a no no, which is fine, because I want her to find me attractive. She's happy for me to wear heels outside as long as she's not with me. When we're together, she's happy with block heels and wedges of any height as long as I've got enough trouser covering them. In fact my first couple of high heel adventures were with her and partially at her suggestion. I've described my first outing ages ago, but we went to a local restaurant walking distance from our flat when we lived in Croydon. She's not keen for friends to discover my hobby. My view is that if people choose to forsake my friendship and think the worst of me because I've got a thing about heels, that's a reflection on them not me.

[sendra45]

Guys,

The trouble is, that wearing heels out is not the norm.

We might try to fool ourselves by quoting the amount of size 10 and bigger sold on ebay. but lets be fair, unless heels make it to the mens section of the local shoe shop, we are going to me in a minority.

There is no real cause and we are not going to get support from government and I personally thik the last thing we want is to be on prime time TV as a 'token freak'.

Look at the newspapers and at prime time tv, blokes wearing heels dont get a look in unless they are haveing the piss taken out of them.

Wake up. please, do your thing, but dont assume you are going to take over the world.

In our world, Firefox would be the leader of the UN, Xaphod the UK PM, Kneehighs the mayor of NY and JT Turbo the guv'nor of Texas.

we were doing well ther fo a while.

But to get back on track. Heels for men, lets just wait until those 'cool' enough to decide, decide that heels for men is cool, I for one wont be holding my breath, but will be very happy when it happens.

the only problem is that I dont follow fashion, so what will be my exuse? Have you thought of yours?

Nigel.

[lorriette]

Intresting point you make there Lyndsay. I would have thought that profit would be the guide for manufactures and therefore producing footwear styles that sell. If they believed men buy lots of womens styles, then I think they would produce them, not restrict sales.

[asdf174]

It has been a while since I posted anything in here.... Well I don't think I see it as a "cause" more or less becasue I'm not trying to push for it to be acceptable in soceity because we all have the freedom of choice so as long as were not doing anything illegal then who cares right? Now you will have those that laugh at you and so forth, some of the more ignorant may even do more, but people like that have allways exsisted and more then likely allways will. But judgeing from a lot of the accounts I've read those pople seem to be few and far between. Most pople don't seem to care that much. If they even notice.

[Danielinheels]

I only tersely use the word "cause" when discussing my preference of footwear amongst people who would be interested enough to listen, or if I just feel comfortablt talking about it with them. We're in a minority here, but on top of that it's one that is hard to readily account for. Looking back to previous events throughout history (for referential purposes only), it was always easy to "detect" who wasn't in the majority: Blacks are easy to point out amongst whites. Women are easier to point out amongst men. (by this, i mean amongst leadership positions) Jews were ordered to wear the Star of David on a necklace. so on, and so forth. To find a man wearing heels or any other women's shoes, you have to look past the entire body, down below the legs, all the way to the feet. Of course if you're out on the horizon, it's a bit easier to see, but then you're out of earshot anyway. And since we are more likely to wear pants with our shoes, there is the possibility that the heels may be concealed. Do we want to be noticed? In the end, yes. We would like to walk into a shoe shop, and not draw strange or uncomfortable looks from other customers for shopping for women's shoes for ourselves. Blacks wanted notice for being citizens too without being stratified. Women wanted the same rights as men. Jews didn't want to be victims of genocide. And, as we are the only confirmed people lobbying for the opportunity to wear whatever shoes we'd like without societal penalty, we just have to do what we can (wearing styles tastefully, being productive citizens, etc) to make it known that yes, we are good people too.

[HeelD]

All good points made. I don't think anyone here thinks that every man will be wearing stillettos down Oxford Street or anywhere else anytime soon - if anything less women are! But I think what we all agree on here is the fact we all want to wear what we want, tastefully without fear or ridicule. This is already attainable - not fully of course. As we've all noticed, most people in the outside world don't care or even notice what we wear on our feet. This is already vindication for us to just wear what we want on our feet. There will be idiots who hate what we do and discriminate. There will be people who will think it's funny at first - but the joke will wear off and they'll go and laugh at something else next. There will also be people who think it's a crime for the fashion police but they are no harm to us like we are no harm to them. We live in a free society to do as we please within the law and there is no shoe law as far it stands anywhere in the modern world. I think as long as we do what we do tastefully, with confidence, know our limits, and co-ordinate our looks then we should have no problems with our fashion choices. And I think people here, especially kneehighs and fogborkenvv, demonstrate this excellently.

[Danielinheels]

Very well said. We may never achieve a universal acceptance (minorities I previously listed still struggle with acceptance in some groups), but if we can open the door for other people to actively make the same choice that we have made, then that works for me. In the end, I'm promoting the look on myself, but if someone else picks up on it and wants to give it a go as well, then I'm happy just the same.

[kneehighs]

It has been a while since I posted anything in here....

Arron-- WELCOME BACK! It sure is nice to have you back. If you are still in Kansas City, I hope all is well and that you are having a great new year.

Danielle--love your explanation. I'm a sucker for being taught.

All for one and one for all, I say. In my opinion its never the shoes alone that do the damage, its the social attitude that creates the problem. Cause or no cause, I think the only way to gain acceptance for all of us is to expose the public to the true diversity of our "community" and let people see who we really are: thighboots, stilettos, wedges, sandals, low heels, blade heels, pointy toes, round toes, almond toes, ballet heels, pumps etc. etc....I think the important thing is everyone can project an image they can be proud of on an individual level, without fear from anyone. I think as long as we present ourselves with poise and confidence, regardless of our personal style, the rest will follow.

One thing I think we can all agree on is that nobody has the right to make you OWN their opinion of you so much so that you are ashamed to be seen.

Again, Arron, it is nice to see you back at hhplace.

[TXT-1]

if I had even a SMALL desire to "freestyle" I wouldn't have just ordered these beauties

beauty is in the eye of the beholder or as I've seen lately "beauty is in the eye of the beer holder!"

I don't give a rats arse about "The Cause"... because I notice all the posters that go on about "the Cause" are slight of build...

However... I an definitely NOT against free speech.... the last thing I want is a "Brave New World*" kind of society... bo if toou can get away with "streetheeling"good for you... but you won't see me in my 6" and my 8.5" plats... as soon as I get 'em...

Arron welcome back... happy new year... hope it's a good one with out any tears... <I shudder at the the fact I quoted John Lennon>

It doesn't matter if you are black, white or brindle... a guy in heels in NOT looked at as normal! and honestly as we ARE a minority folks...

* "Brave New World" was a book published in 1932, written By Aldous Huxley it is a dystopian story similar to George Orwells "1984" it set in the 26th century it is a place babies are cloned, people use a drug "Soma" to cope with daily stresses... 20 years later Aldous Huxley wrote "Brave New World Revisited... Aldous wrote BNWR because even he was shocked that certain real world events had a BNW vibe about them...

The Iron Maiden song "Brave New World" off their album "Brave New World" is loosley based off huxley's book...

later,

TXT-1

[kneehighs]

Okay, alternative words for "cause" here:

--community

--campaign

--movement

I just don't understand how focusing on differences is going to help anyone here. I mean don't we all hate how society labels us a perverts, fetishists, weirdo's? I know I sure do. Don't we all hate it when someone says we are gay for wearing heels? Don't we dislike it when someone says heels are only for women? Don't we dislike it when someone trys to make us feel bad just because we are different? Don't we all hate it if someone violently harrasses one of us physically for being different? And most of all, don't we all hate it when these attitudes contaminate the opinions of people close to us? Family? Friends?

I think some of us are just trying to harnass the power of group unity here. Historically, it behooves individuals to feel themself as part of a group. For example, the people who stood up really well in the Nazi concentration camps were those who felt themselves members of a compact party (the Communists), of a church (priests or ministers), or of a close knit national group. The individualists, whatever their nationality, caved in. I'm not saying our situation is equal in political importance to the aforementioned example, but it does show that faith in the future can be enhanced through a process of group identification.

Again, I'm not saying we are some political movement at all. Or that wearing heels should be of equal importance to race, religion, sex, color or whatever else. Or that we are going to get government funding. Or that we are going to take over the world. Or that its even necessary. I'm just pointing to the benefits of some group unity.

Going back to WWII....the Russians who cringed before Stalins secret police displayed unsurpassed courage against the invading Nazi's. Why? Because when facing the Stalin's police the Russian thought of himself as mere individual, but when facing the invading Nazi, he thought of himself as a member of a mighty race, possessed of a glorious past and even more glorious future. British colonial officials reasoned that if Hitler could exterminate 6 million Jews, they would have similar success handling the 600,000 Jews in Palestine. Wrong. The Jew in Europe faced his enemies alone as an isolated individual. But in Palestine he felt himself a member of an eternal race, an immemorable past and a great future.

Just some food for thought, thats all.

[TXT-1]

I am a retifist (shoe fetishist) plain and simple I don't care about what any one says if it looks like a duck and sounds like a duck... then it is a fvcking duck!! I seriously doubt public male heelwearing will be commonplace for 25-30 years if it becomes commonplace I MIGHT think about it - but I'm not holding my breath! later, TXT-1

[Dawn HH]

TXT-1:-) At my age, I doubt that I will be around 25 or 30 years from now to see if male public heeling will be commonplace or not. I'm just wearing my heels in public now and I will let the 25 or 30 year number to you younger folks to worry about. I'm doing my share now to help push things along for the future. I think they call that pioneering. Cheers--- Dawn HH