How your Wife/Girl can guide and be your best support

[flavio]

Hello everybody, I'm quite new in this forum, so I decided to introduce myself and put some of my heeled experiences in public. I'm a sexually straight guy from Brazil. Things for heels here are very difficult since I never saw a man wearing them publically before, except Drag Queens. All of us here are created to be as male as possible, hard guys at all. When I was 15 I started liking to see women in their boots, how lovely was to see that heeled feet in the streets. High heels are in vogue here for a long time for women and we have great shoe manufacturers that export their products to all over the world. In the begginning I tryed one of my mom's shoes that didn't fit. I have large feet (US Woman's 13). When I got employed I decided to buy my owns. Was a pair of 3'' sandals. How nice was to wear them, bought in silence by the internet. When I moved to Sao Paulo was living alone and found some stores that sale large woman's shoes. I bought someones and started wearing them at home, alone, in silence. Shortenning the story, last year I got a new girfriend and we got married this year. When I moved to her house I decided to throw all my heels away. What a BAD idea!!! Then, one day, I was so sad and decided to tell her about this. What a wonderful, so wonderful surprise! She said that there was any problem about it, said that I shouldn't put my shoes on the trashbin. "You're a fool" completed her. She went out with me to buy some new ones. Today I have a 4'' pair of black strappy sandals and a 5.5'' pair of custom made black knee high boots that I love so much. I started wearing them at home, my wife likes to see me in the boots and says that I look sexy for her. She said that this is my shoe preference and I should never be afraid of what other people are thinking about me. I'm married, a man, and like to wear heeled boots, where is the fu**ing problem??? This week I decided to go to the garage (our garage is open to the street) to smoke and I didn't take my boots of. In the same day I moved the car from the street to the garage in boots. And in the same day I was out to the pizza boy in my boots and jeans and he didn't say a word! Well, the next step is trying to go out to the streets... of course, she will be with me. That's why I decided to write here. Tell your girl, and maybe, she will say something that can make you very, very happy. Sorry about my poor english! Heels for all! Flavio.

[sandalcrazy27]

flavio, Welcome to the forum. Wow you are a lucky man indeed. I see no need for you to wait. With the support of your wife you guys should go out and enjoy yourselves. As you said you are straight, married to a supportive woman. I say talk to your wife and tell her what you want to do, she has been supportive so far and I think she wants to see you in public with your new found sense of fashion. You all ready know she won't ridcule you and that she will be by your side so as you said yourself you know who you are go out and enjoy your boots, sandals or whatever.....after reading your story your wife is your rock to lean on. If people say anything you know she will be there holding your and and telling you who cares. That is awesome do it and let us know how it went and how supportive your wife is. Have fun, you are truly one of a few lucky men that are supported by there wives or girlfriends with street heeling in public. GO FOR IT

[Dawn HH]

Flavio:-) Welcome to the Forum. There are a lot of guys here that will support you on street-heeling. I am also fortunate to have a wife that supports me totally with my street-heeling. I have been wearing heels for 58 years now. Occasionally, my wife will buy me heeled shoes or heeled boots and we shop together for other girly items. She street-heels with me also. A woman like that is few and far between and when you find one she is worth her weight in gold. Go for it and let us know about your adventures out and about in your heels. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[SandalFan]

I will always regret not taking advantage of the night I had a terrific opportunity to tell my wife about my fondness for wearing women's shoes. It was 12 years ago, while we were still engaged. She had just bought a pair of black ankle boots that had a 3" spike heel. She bought them to please me, because she knows how much I love women in heels. That night, I decided to have some fun with her by putting her boots and peach sweater on. We both laughed at me effectively being in drag. We decided to check out messages on some of the local computer bulletin board systems we frequented, but I hadn't removed her boots or sweaters yet. While surfing, she noticed how comfortable I looked wearing her clothes. She asked me I had anything I wanted to tell her, and I said no. Later, she commented on how incredibly sexy I looked wearing her clothes. 4 years later - 3 years into our marriage - I finally "confessed" about my shoes when she asked me about a shoe tag she had found for a pair of pumps I had secretly bought earlier that day. At first, she seemed ok with it, but then her natural insecurities and near-absent self-esteem started making her worry that I was secretly gay and was eventually going to leave her. It took me several months and a few visits to a marriage counselor to convince her of the contrary. She eventually grew to accept it, and has often even pointed out shoes she sees on TV or in catalogues that she thinks I might be interested in buying. From what little time I've spent here so far, it appears we have a lot of people who like to "street heel". Personally, I'm not at all into that. I much prefer wearing my heels in the privacy of my home. Thankfully, the attitude around here seems to be pretty welcoming whether you do street heel or not. On that note, welcome to the forum!

[canadianbeaver17]

I have a very supportive gf myself. She always encourages me.

[Dawn HH]

Sandalfan:-) I'm glad to hear that your wife has finally accepted you wearing heels. Things can go much smoother when you are both on the same page. She has come around to the fact that despite the fact that you wear heels, you are still the same man that she married and that you wearing heels is of no threat to her and the marriage. Congrats. Some times we have to take small steps before we can take larger steps. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[SandalFan]

I'm glad to hear that your wife has finally accepted you wearing heels.

Thanks. She is an incredible woman. I'm extremely fortunate to have the priveledge of sharing my life with her. Our 11th anniversary is the 29th.

[flavio]

Thank you so much for all replies to my topic. I'm enjoying a lot to share these experiences with you all over the world. I decided to put an avatar of my boots model, it isn't a pic of my real boots but a link to the store web site. My boots are custom made to my size and have the 5 inch heels that are like 4 inch to smaller medium woman's sizes and goes up to my knees. I will apreciate a lot if someone tells me how to take this "male regular shoe" out of my identification over my boots picture. Flavio.

[sscotty727]

Hi Flavio, I too have a supportive wife. I was one that told her upfront about my passion for wearing heels and at first she wasn't sure about it. She broke up with me and less than a day later called me back to say she was being silly. Next she decided she was going to "break" me of heel wearing and kept all my shoes in a garbage bag which I snuck into when she was sleeping. After we were married, I went through MANY phases of buying and throwing away after the guilt would set in. Finally, she told me to stop throwing them away because all it was doing was causing me to spend more money to buy them back later. Like you, I would wear them only around the house or in bed to sleep in. When I found this message board a few years ago, I was working out of town and forced to stay in a hotel during the week. I would bring my shoes with me and wear them in the hotel room. Once found this site, I got into Street Heeling and found a new passion. At first it was sneaking out to wear them, but slowly I started to buy more descrete heels and wedges (like my avatar) and wear them out to work and even around the inlaws. Now, I wear some type of heel (mainly wedges) all the time. I don't even have a pair of "men's" shoes to be honest. My wife is VERY supportive and although I can't say she is thrilled by it, she has come to accept it. Just this past weekend, we went to Payless and bought matching wedges. This Thursday (the 6th) will be our 15th anniversary! Like you said, the best thing was my being upfront and not trying to hide things from her. It took her a while to get to her current accepting mode, but the patience was well worth it and over the years she has seen I am still the same man she married. Congrats and happy heeling. Scotty

[flavio]

Ok, but... how to remove or change this "Comfy Loafer" seen at left?

[sscotty727]

Keep posting! It will happen as you move up in the number of messages posted. Scotty

[flavio]

Ok, now I understood... it's like a "user level".

[sscotty727]

Exactly!!! The more posts, the better looking shoe you get. It's the moderators way of encouraging people to participate. Scotty

[Dawn HH]

Flavio:-) What Sscotty727 has related to you is all so true. Mickey and I have been married 37 years last June 28th, and in the beginning I had a bigger row to hoe than you as I have been a crossdresser also. Things were rough for quite a while for us and I was so glad to find this board. Things were straightened out many years before I found the board, but Mickey fully understands me and my condition and realizes that there is nothing that I can do to change things in any way. I have been wearing heels for 58 years now and she is all right with the situation and everything is moving along smoothly. She takes care of me and I take care of her. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[flavio]

I think I'm very lucky because my wife knows me for less then an year, she is very open minded and doesn't care with what other people think or say. She aways says to me "If you like to wear high heeled boots, wear them despite what other people are saying. You're married with me, I love you, I know you are a real man and just like to wear this kind of shoes." She came from a very conservative family and has 4 tatoos, for example. She my best inspiration and I love her so much. Is a wonderful girl. The worst thing someone can do with his wife or girlfriend is to hide something. If someday she discovers for herself a pair of heeled shoes in your stuff, she can never forgive him. You will never fell completely satisfied with your girl hiding anything. It will be hamming your mind the hole time. That's why I say, tell her, despite what she thinks or happens.

[flavio]

I don't know if this information was in this forum before, so here is.

There is a web site of a man and his wife, both ones modeling incredibly wonderful shoe styles.

The site is in german and english, I wrote something in their guestbook.

http://www.high-heels-feelings.de

The boots she's wearing in the latest pictures is very near mines.

It's a MUST SEE.

Waiting for your impressions...

Flavio.

[heelme]

That's a good site, one I had not seen before. Thanks, flavio. It's really good to hear when a person's spouse is supportive of our shared habit. For you, it's even better as she not only accepts your preferences, but seems to be enjoying your heels almost as much as you do. I fall in the catagory of what I feel is more toleration than full open support for my heeling. My wife is still not as comfortable as I'd like, but she's getting there slowly. I emphasize "slowly" because after 26 years, I think I know her pretty well. She's slow and often resistant to change. That's not a bad thing, but something I need to remind myself when heeling around the house. She's warming up to it pretty well but I dare say it will be awhile before she and I go out together in heels someplace, which is my dream.

[flavio]

You're quite sure heelme! It's wonderful to have a completely supportive wife, however, I think I should not say supportive because she is not only supporting but agreeing. For me and her, high heels should not be considered women's shoes, but shoes. They are made for feet, women and men are simillar in this part of the body, so it's just a matter of shoe feeling. My heeled shoes are "socially women's", they are stilletos, very high and pointy toed, some heeled guys would say "too feminine" but I don't feel like. They are SHOES. My prefered pair of shoes should be black, pointy and 5 inch stilletos, never chunky. I think you gave the first step with your wife - she knows about it - and maybe it would be just a matter of time to get accostumed with it and she will like the idea. She will see that you will still beeing a straight man, loving her, and you'll feel sad in flat shoes. I think also that social problems can happen to me too. Family, for example, they don't know about it and they are older people and very, very focused on society and the concept of what is correct or what's not. I would never wear any kind of "feminine looking" shoe at work also... I'm on a big multinational company managed almost by men... old minded men... I will not risk the job I like because of my shoe style. Heels for all Flavio.

[sandalcrazy27]

Either way you are lucky flavio. I keep trying to sneak hits to my fiance about it and she shoots the idea down everytime. I don't know any other course of action except to hide it.

[flavio]

For sure I'm lucky sandalcrazy. The day I told my wife (at that time was my fiancee) is unforgettable! She gave me a loud laugh and told me "you fool!!! Let's go buying some heels for you tomorrow!!!" I'm starting going outdoors with my boots to smoke at the garage and manouver the car. Tonight I'm thinking about going to my manicure in them. Since manicures are places that mostly women go (do you believe that in Brazil men prefer to wrongly cut their fingernails at home because manicure is "women's stuff") I'll try to walk 'till there in my boots. It's rainy and cold in Sao Paulo today, a great day to heeled boot walking around the neighbourhood. Since it will be the first time real street heeling for me, I'll tell you tomorrow. And lets listen what women there will say about it. Heels for all! Flavio.

[sandalcrazy27]

Are you going with your wife?

[Dawn HH]

Flavio:-) I, for one, will be looking for your report on your first attempt at street-heeling to get a manicure. The looks and comments should be quite interesting. Be sure to let us all know how things go. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[flavio]

Hi everybody Unfortunatelly wasn't possible to go to the manicure in heels, since I was late at work that day and went directly form work to the manicure. Otherwise I had a different experience yesterday. There's a girl friend of me and my wife that was at home to have some conversation. She is lesbian and 44 years old, have a girfried that is our friend too. I decided to tell her about me and high heels, since she is lesbian she should be very open minded. But I didn't have a good response from her. She said that it is a kind of "neurosis" and she would not support any boyfriend in case of she would be heterosexual. Well... not so open minded I think. Heels for all Flavio

[sscotty727]

I think it's just her. My wife of course knows and is supportive. I think her main problem is she "feels bad" for me that I might be looked on in a negative way. When I reassured her I am not concerned about that, she seems to have eased a bit, although she just doesn't want me wearing too feminine looking shoes in public or around the kids. I have two sister in laws and both of them know too. One is older ("wild child of the 60's") and she thinks it is very cool. The other is younger by 4 years and doesn't see it any different than if I was buying a pair of running shoes. When I show her a pair of shoes or boots I just bought, she just reacts with "Yeah, they look nice". Good luck! Scotty

[Pam]

It is great to have a supporting SO! It makes life so, so,so, much easier and fun! My wife "knows". (quoted because she is aware I have a pair of 4'' stiletto boots in my closet that I was supposed to wear to a costume party!) But she is not supportive, she comes from a very traditional background. For me it is a daily give & take, but it is all part of being in a relationship.

[flavio]

I don't think it's just a "relationship thing". Do you think your wife is "old minded" but are you sure? Have you tryied to talk to her about something new, not shoes themselves, but anithing "untraditional", tatoos for example? I was very sad when my wife didn't know about my passion for shoes and high heels. Since I talked to her, everything got clear and good for me. You can be very sad to avoid her knowing about it, because you should be thinking about this stuff all the time. And if she got you typing in this forum? And if she got you wearing your boots not going to a party? That are good reasons to think about talking to her about you shoe style preference. Heels for all Flavio.

[SandalFan]

There's a girl friend of me and my wife that was at home to have some conversation. She is lesbian and 44 years old, have a girfried that is our friend too. I decided to tell her about me and high heels, since she is lesbian she should be very open minded. But I didn't have a good response from her. She said that it is a kind of "neurosis" and she would not support any boyfriend in case of she would be heterosexual.

Gotta love the double standard there... Gays continue striving for equality while she considers a man's fondness for heels a "neurosis".

[flavio]

SndalFan, that's the point. I was completely surprised with her response. Even been homossexual, suffering with what other people does with her, she is against black people too. Well, this is a lesson for me! Never trust that someone will accept your shoe preference just because they have something different like homossexualing. Not everybody is just like me that can accept any difference between people.

[Steve B]

My ex-g/f had no problem with me wearing heels. In fact, she thought they looked great on me! We split for other reasons, but it was amicable. Life goes on.

[Dawn HH]

SteveB:-) It is nice that your ex-G/F and you are still friendly and that you didn't split because of your wearing heels. There will be someone else come along for you later on, I'm sure that will accept you for what you are. Just hang in there. Cheers--- Dawn HH