new_look Posted November 9, 2004 Share Posted November 9, 2004 I just wanted to say thanks to the people who have expressed their concerns over my wellbeing recently. To cut a nasty upsetting story short, i went out with who i thought was the most wonderful girl in the world for over 2 years, thought life couldnt be any better. She slept with someone behind my back & because i loved her, i forgave her and took her back, then i recently discovered that she has been seeing someone else from her work behind my back for the last 3 months. It has left me feeling as shit about myself as i ever could do, and im still struggling to pick myself up from the blow. It has left a vast empty space in my life that im finding it hard to come to terms with. It has been nice to recieve the thoughtful concerns from friends here some of which know me more personally. The kind words do help to ease the pain in going through at the minute. once again thanks everyone Daz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firefox Posted November 9, 2004 Share Posted November 9, 2004 I hope you can get over it quickly, Daz. You loved her but she cheated on you, so there's bound to be mixed feelings. I can't really offer any advice except to say be strong and develop other areas to take your mind off it. Maybe she will see sense and realise how stupid she has been. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
highheellover Posted November 9, 2004 Share Posted November 9, 2004 I sorry man. Girls and heels rock. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BobHH Posted November 9, 2004 Share Posted November 9, 2004 It's tough in these situations. A lot of the love is still there, and disappointment. But, one is in love in a situation which wasn't really what one thought it was, and the love would not have been nearly the same if the truth were known. In some ways you are fortunate to be out of a not good situation, one which could lead to extreme unhappiness and problems later. My serious romance with the girl friend who thought our heels were sexy is over, too. After many professions of love, a ring, plans, etc., she decided to go into business for herself, moved her office furniture into her home, and is too busy to see me. Stresses resulted in a couple of verbal attacks on her part, and a parting of the ways. A rather abrupt turn around. I really miss the relationship, but am somewhat relieved that there will be no more emotional attacks (which never happened with my Beautiful Wife (heart attack)) and realize that many different interests would have resulted in more problems. Mixed feelings and life is not much fun, but ... I have my beautiful 24 yr. old dance instructor to cheer me up (but nothing outside of business) plus several women who are friends and are sympathetic. I have always said "Why would you want someone who doesn't want you?" But it's still tough. Have confidence in yourself, take it for experience, and try to move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawn HH Posted November 9, 2004 Share Posted November 9, 2004 Daz:-) I'm sorry to hear of your difficulties, but it is better for her to show her colors now than later. I know what you are going through as I had similar problems a couple of times in my life also. Why don't you do this---pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again. It seems as if I heard that in a song somewhere, but it does work. It helped me a couple of times in my lifetime. Go out and have fun and look for another girl again. Cheer up. Cheers--- Dawn HH High Heeled Boots Forever! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeffM Posted November 9, 2004 Share Posted November 9, 2004 Sorry to hear about the bust up of your relationship Daz. Hopefully your next girl friend will treat you with the love and respect you deserve. Best wishes Jeff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chris100575 Posted November 9, 2004 Share Posted November 9, 2004 I don't think there's anything I can say that we didn't talk about in person. Keep in touch and let me know how you're getting along. Hang in there mate, it will get better. Chris Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba136 Posted November 9, 2004 Share Posted November 9, 2004 Sorry about your situation. Nothing deflates confidence like a betrayed relationship. You're so fortinute to have found this out now, before you made your commitment permanent. So, get on with it. You're a young, nice looking lad and, with the plethoria of nice girls available, I'm sure you'll soon be telling us all about you having met your "dream girl." (Like the old western song laments "It only hurts for a little while.") Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sscotty727 Posted November 9, 2004 Share Posted November 9, 2004 Daz, Hang in there. In college I met a woman who I feel madly in love with and dated 3 years. We even planned on getting married and had got an engagement ring. On our 3rd year of dating, I found out she was seeing someone behind my back and when I confronted her she said "I don't know if I love you". Talk about stinging??? I felt as if I was in a box and couldn't breath. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't think, I couldn't eat. Friends tried to cheer me up but I wanted none of it. We did finally get back together but it was never the same and after a few weeks we broke up again, this time it was mutual. After her, I met the true woman of my dreams who I will be celebrating 15 years of marriage with next year and 19 years of being together. If I hadn't broken up with my first GF, I would have never met my wife. In hindsite, I am SOO much more happy and thankful we didn't go ahead with the marriage plans. I can feel for you now, been there/done that. But as in my case, someone MUCH better is coming your way, you needed to clear this relationship first. Hang in there, things will get better for you. If you ever want to talk more about it, PM me. I will be glad to be here for you. Scotty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawn HH Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 I had a similar occurrance as posted above, ring, engagement, and marriage plans well along the way. The break-up hit me the hardest of anything. You know when women are down, they cheer themselves up by going shopping. Well, I did the same thing. I went out and bought myself a Corvette. Then after about 4 months I ran into a chance meeting with Mickey at a friends wedding. She was one of the bridesmaids. If the breakup had not occurred, I never would have met her. BTW, we took our honeymoon in the Corvette which we still have after 36 years. HEY! You shouldn't sell your honeymoon car. Cheers--- Dawn HH P.S. The moral in the story is---hang in their as better days are coming. High Heeled Boots Forever! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
highheellover Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 good points gang. Girls and heels rock. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba136 Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 Serious heart break is extremely tramatic and difficult to get over. As I've said here before Daz is fortunate he discovered his mates infidelities prior to making their relationship permanent and children became involved. However, that being said, and not to make lite of Daz's situation, perhaps a little humor injected here about now might serve to brighten young Daz's outlook. I ran across the following in a magazine yesterday. "A young man who worked for a friend of mine came in one day devasted because he and his girlfriend had broken up. "Isn't this the forth or fifth time you two have split up? my friend asked. "Yeah, said his employee. But, this is only the second time for good." So, be of good cheer, young Daz, because there's healing at the end of heart-break tunnel. Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shyguy Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 Hey Daz, sorry to hear of your relationship breakdown. Been there done that as most have. As everyone says here, it's better now than later. All I can say is I looked upon my first engagement breaking down as the best thing that ever happened, the relationship taught me a lot, and the breakup even more, and now I'm with the woman I need to make me complete. It's hard Daz, but you'll get over it, then move on and up, in the meantime you have friends here on the HHplace forum, and many more offline (I'm sure) who will help you through. He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes. Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
new_look Posted November 11, 2004 Author Share Posted November 11, 2004 thanks everyone the hardest part of everything is knowing I did nothing wrong. That i gave everything i had and this happened. It puts you off further searching, although if i had a £10 note for every time i heard the phrase 'plenty more fish in the sea'.......then i would be a rich man i am starting to feel a bit better as the days go by, but it still hurts and probably will for a while. I still love her in my own way, i cant get rid of that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sscotty727 Posted November 11, 2004 Share Posted November 11, 2004 Daz, Like you I also did absolutely nothing wrong! She had an apartment and was a major messy person. When she went home to visit her parents, I would clean her apartment and leave so when they came back home they would see a perfectly clean apartment and she would get all the credit. I was always a lowly guy in their eyes, they never saw what I did for her. When she was sick I would stay up all night and take care of her. I GAVE her money when I got extra just so she got spending cash. She LOANED me money when I was short and make a point of asking constantly when she would get it back, etc, etc, etc. I was greatly taken advantage of and was blind to the fact. Like I (and others have said) if I stayed with her I would have been unhappy (just have taken me a while to realize it) and I would have never met my wife. Let me tell you, my GF was "cute", not that bad, but my wife is "out of my league". NEVER in a million years could I have gotten her, I have no idea to this day how I did. She takes care of me, the girls, the house, everything. To this day I thank my GF for dumping me so I could meet my wife. I promise you Daz, hang in there, someone MUCH better is on the way into your life, just give them time to get there. They will be worth it. Scotty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bob2hh Posted November 14, 2004 Share Posted November 14, 2004 Dear Daz, I know of a similar case, where the lady in question left a good friend of mine by preferring one of his work colleagues. 7 years later, my friend is happily married with another lovely lady, and the work colleague that slept behind his back with his former girlfriend made the mistake of marrying her. Not only he has been tagged as an "unreliable person" to all of us, but he has lost in her favour through a painful divorce no less than half million euros (house, car, ...). So who has been the fortunate guy at last ? Think about this. Unreliable for one aspect means unreliable for many other aspects. Who knows if this might have been the best that could have happened to you. If you did nothing wrong, you must find your strength into this, but this is a truly personal, undelegable job. Regards, Bob. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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