Life Is Good Except For....

[HighHeelLover86]

.... the fact that I might be a fashion victim. Its been a while since I've posted, although I have been frequently stalking the forums most days. My girlfriend and I are still going strong but I still haven't found employment anywhere. I'm more than ready to return to the world of free-heeling but have run across a major problem. I have NOTHING to wear with them! To explain lemme lay a little personal history on you fine folks. In my dresser you will find blue jeans, and T-shirts, and, underclothes. That is all. Not stylish versions either. I wear a size 48/32 in jeans and I wear uber relaxed fit styles. All my jeans are the same brand/style from Wal-Mart. Except for my work T's, all my T-shirts are over-sized message T's with writing and/or pictures. Except for two polo shirts and one green small pattern button-down plaid shirt in the closet, my whole wardrobe consists of 4 pairs of jeans and a dozen or so assorted T's. I have at some past time enjoyed a bit of dressing up in dress pants and jackets but I don't even own that kind of stuff anymore. This is, to me, how a working class southern guy dresses. This is how I have always dressed. Heels, even thick and chunky simple-styled boots just don't seem to fit into this image. Part of the reason I dress the way I do is the practicality of it, and I am a bit lazy if I'm honest. If I have to go somewhere that would require me to take more than five minutes to get ready for I'd just assume not go. In my mind It'll probably be someplace I don't want to go anyway, some high end party full of brown nosing uppity rich folk etc. At previous times in my life I do think I was much more willing to take a little time in the way I looked but I was either in school or at church (before I became an Atheist) or working in a more professional environment. Nowadays its just not that important. My girlfriend and I went out to eat last night and neither of us were dressed to impress but that's just how we both are. When she gets home from the office she says a quick "Hi" on her way to the closet to get into her yoga pants and T-shirt just like I do. I am a fairly "manly" man by most measurements and I don't want to go down the road of taking more time on my appearance than my girlfriend does. I get a hair cut every six months when it gets too long. I'm either clean-shaven of have a full (and I mean FULL) beard as I don't even own a trimmer. Showering involves shampoo, body wash and lots of just standing under the water. No lotions, creams, scrubs, or treatments of any kind grace my sink cabinet. My skin is scared from burns, acne, and sun exposure. My hair is left free from gels etc. I have a "farmer's tan". I look like a bruiser and my face resembles a caveman with my deep eye sockets and protruding brow. Where do I go from here? How can I do what I want with the way I want to look without losing the way I am? I like the way I am for the most part. Simple, efficient, honest, and practical in all things, not just in fashion but in my entire life. Heels? I want them in my life, in public for sure. How though? They just don't fit in. almost like the way I didn't fit in when I was a boy, before I learned to not care about such things. Not to offend anyone but the last thing I what to be is "prissy" in how I look or act. To me the quintessential "Man" is six feet tall, wearing a boiler suit, covered in grease and grime, sporting a full bushy beard and a deep thunderous voice to match. That is the kind of man I see myself as. The master of fire and destruction flying down a dirt road in a car with the engine sticking out of the hood. He can fix anything with the right tools and inspires awe with how he seems to know everything about everything. He's tender to those he loves and brutal to those he must crush. This is my identity now, but it doesn't completely fit. Its amazing how a seemingly simple choice in footwear can make you feel like your whole life and personality comes into question. Where do I go from here?

[Impala]

If you're not willing to change your masculin look, I'd advice you go look for a pair of masulin-looking wedge sneakers. They exist, I own a pair and even if people might spot them and see that they're heeled, they will still fit in the outfit. The male stereotype is rooted deeply in our society, and is the logical result of testosterone and the hunt for women. Evolution made most women love "manly" men, that's why a female thing as heels might not seem to fit with our "normal" behavior. If you are willing to change your appearance, and buy some more stylish clothes, do it! It's all up to you if you decide to go on with comfort and your masculin look or for heels in public with a more stylish way of dressing.

[Rockbass19]

Yeah I was in the same boat as you but I lost some weight, and chose some more stylish clothes to go with my heels.

[Shafted]

Same here. Lost a bundle of weight and found the new body a lot more fun to dress.

[HighHeelLover86]

Getting into better shape is on the agenda this year as well as quitting smoking. One of the biggest hurdles in buying better clothes and probably the biggest reason I have the clothes I have is because I just can't see the need to spend the money. The phrase "sticker shock" comes to mind. Why on Earth would I spend more than $10 on a shirt? $20 on a pair of pants? $50 on a pair of shoes, even high heeled shoes? In my mind their is no reason to burn $100 on a pair of pants or a suit etc. I would wager to say that the sum total of all my clothes, undergarments, shoes (including heels) etc probably cost me less than $300 spent over maybe five years. Psychologically speaking, I know that being this tight is not always good but I just can't seem to justify spending more than that on clothes. The most expensive single item I own is a pair of New Balance trainers that cost $55 and I tore myself up spending that much. By any measure I have always been dirt poor and I think that has a lot to do with it too. Maybe once I get back to work and maybe if I can find a good paying job things might change. I'm just finding it so hard to fight the stereotype and the financials of change. This is going to be a battle.

[aussieheels1]

not sure if this matches what yo are after but i find that a pair of more tight fitting or skinny jeans and they will work with the heels and the rest of my top male half walldrobe.... to me the jeans matches the the heels while it suits the casual tshirts and jackets that i normally wear....

[Heelster]

Regarding that 'sticker shock' syndrome - - - - thrift shops. Goodwill and Volunteers of Amarica has been my staple shopping sources for a lot of my jeans. I have all the scars, full beard, and the proverial 'spare tire' too, but my waist line is such that I can wear low rise size 10's and 11's. After a recent medical situation, my doctors would like to see me lose some weight and quit smoking too, but that will make my selection options even better. The other thing thrift shops are good for was denim mini's. I've found them to be most comfortable for around the house in the summer time, especially when the heat index hits the 100 degree mark. I've also found some great slightly worn shoes for pennies on the dollar. I'm still a T-shirt kinda guy, but I may expand a bit in this area.

[Impala]

Another question, HighHeelLover86, do you have a wife or a partner? If you do, you might try to involve her in your 'evolution', she'd like it and might be able to help you out. If you are single, which is possible, a positive change of look might get you some ladies...

[Steve63130]

Actually you can do well on a tight budget. Beside the thrift shops, try Target, Penneys, and Walmart, but shop on the women's side of the store for bootcut long jeans that would go well with heels. Check out unisex tops, too, and maybe capri pants. Big people look a bit precarious tottering on stiletto heels, so go for thicker block or tapered heels - nothing pencil thin. Modest platforms could work. You might attempt to lose some weight, too. The smaller your frame, the more clothing choices you'll have. All of this fashion stuff takes work. You need to go shopping and see the clothing and try it on. You need to mix and match to create a few great outfits that you like. As Thighbootguy says, look at yourself in the mirror before you go out; if you like what you see, go! If not, figure out what needs improvement. But if you're a couch potato and plan to stay that way, forget it. Steve

[HighHeelLover86]

Thanks for all the comments guys. I appreciate it. I'll comment further later on but now i can barely stay awake its so late.

[Trolldeg]

Evolution made most women love "manly" men, that's why a female thing as heels might not seem to fit with our "normal" behavior.

Except that it's not evolution but socialisation.

[Guest]

I am like you. I am not fem looking at all or do I want to be. I dress the way I always have, jeans. But now I wear heels with them. Mostly boots since they can be a little less fem than pumps, plus they don't sound like pumps. Then I just try to go about ev eryday life.

[wedgemao]

interesting topic probably the most important change is with yorself and getting athe look you want to have for yourself given your description of yourself, you may not want to look too feminine, so go and look for some wedge boots or sneakers for the beginning (you will nkt believe how stealthy they are) jeans will go with most anything and then pick some nice shirts or t shirts...best thing is to try for yourself and create your own look