BeachHeeler Posted March 24, 2013 Share Posted March 24, 2013 Well here's what happened. Back in October or so I took pictures of myself wearing heels and some other fashionable, but simple clothing to show you guys on the site. But when I uploaded it to the computer using my camera I forgot to delete them from the computer. I put the pictures on my flash drive and totally forgot about the other ones. And the bad thing about that computer was that the screen saver was personal pictures and my parents saw my pictures and definitely had a lot of questions. I just kept telling them "I don't know". They eventually left me alone. But my mom put all my heels in her closet. Some time went by and they caught me looking at heels on the computer. This time my mom actually wanted me to see a psychiatrist, but I refused because I know that there's nothing wrong with me. But one day when everyone was gone I went to her closet to wear my heels and they were gone. I searched everywhere for them and could not find them. They are either hidden really well or they threw them out. Which upsets me a lot. Now I have no heels to wear at all. I want to buy more and hid them better, but im too afraid that she'll see on my bank account. I don't know what to do. I still have a desire to wear them, but I feel like ill never be able to just because of my parents and how afraid I am of what other people are going to say. Especially my friends and co-workers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JSLS Posted March 24, 2013 Share Posted March 24, 2013 Stop letting your mum check your bank account. Take pride in who you are and do what you like, regardless of what people think. Explain to them. Seriously, people don't care. If you hide it, they care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impala Posted March 24, 2013 Share Posted March 24, 2013 My mom found a mail notifying me that the shoes I ordered were out of stock and my money would be refunded. I avoided questions the first hour and just went to my room. That evening I just told them to sit down, and I explained how I wear heels, how I like doing it. They were very surprised but they saw it didn't really do a lot of harm. You could check my recent post to see how I talked with them further. I would advice you: Wait for a moment when your parents are both at home, preferably together in the living room and not busy. Ask them to set down at the table, say that you have something to discuss. Tell them that they have seen the pics of you wearing heels, and you understand that they are confused and afraid. Tell them that you are certain about yourself and you know that you like to wear heels, just like women do. Important: mention that nothing is wrong with you, that you are not gay (I think you aren't) and are completely sure about your sexuality. I had to explain the fetish thing to my parents, but I think just saying that the heels are not at all related to sexual feelings should do the job for you. Tell them that you thought really well about it and that this is how you are, how you want to be, what you want to do. If you show confidence, your parents might understand. By just hiding the heels and avoiding all questions, you give the impression that you are developping a dangerous obsession, which it itsn't. Tell them that it's nothing more than wearing footwear that is unfortunately only aimed at women. To put it all together: tell them the truth, and BE CONFIDENT. ask your parent's opinion about it, and listen to it. If they are very negative about it, you shouldn't push it too far or they might just ground you and not talk about it ever again. Try to find other relaxed moments and then just ask if they have thought about it. If your parents understand it and show interest, go on and talk! it's your chance! I hope I have helped you, these things worked for me! Happy heeling, and see you later! (hopefully with good news) I could walk on sunshine, but I chose heels instead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alexis Hill Posted March 25, 2013 Share Posted March 25, 2013 You can try talking to them again, but if they really won't listen the psychiatrist might not be a bad idea. I am sure you mom is assuming that the psychiatrist will side with them which isn't true since it is not a disorder. Also your parents really do have no business in your bank account. Go paperless and only check your account by the internet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canadianbeaver17 Posted March 25, 2013 Share Posted March 25, 2013 Time to move out! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impala Posted March 25, 2013 Share Posted March 25, 2013 You have nothing to loose. If your parents accept it, GOOD! If they don't accept it, they at least know what is going on and won't be surprised anymore if they'd catch you again. By hiding it longer, you only sicken the relation you have with your parents, which is one of the most valuable relations in your life. Remember that. I could walk on sunshine, but I chose heels instead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 25, 2013 Share Posted March 25, 2013 Good advise though out. The extreme is moving out! Not knowing the situation you are in regarding work/income etc it is hard to escape home and set up you own place at your age. Your parents will worry on what is going on whether at home or away, at home they have some form of control (to much I suppose at the moment) away they will apply pressure to make you feel guilty and uncomfortable, their way of trying to say they care? By making a statement of why however hard with an explanation will help improve the situation, by asking for support and understanding they may accept it as a fad that will go away. The threat of leaving has to have some merit, are you in a position to do so? Can you get in a position to do so in the near future? If they love you they will try to accept as to why however hard, and give some understanding that would grow to a level of acceptance. Difficult position for both of you, they are scared because they don't understand and fear the worse! I was there 40 years ago, society has improved, this community has opened eyes (ours and our loved ones). The "I don't no, can't explain" come to many because we haven't been ready to deal with it at that time. Keep it cool, calm and relaxed, say how difficult you find it trying to explain, to find the right words that make sense. Good luck Al Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba136 Posted March 25, 2013 Share Posted March 25, 2013 The fact that you are living in your parent's house limits your options because "those that reside under my roof abide by my rules. Those that don't like my rules are free to move out and live by their own rules." So, you are more or less obligated to talk things over and try to determine exactly how much wiggle room you have to fit your lifestyle into you parent's wishes. If you are not able to reach an agreeable accommodation with them, you are more or less stuck with their rules until you are able to get a place of your own. One thing to keep in mind though is that your lifestyle choices aren't worth arguing or fighting about with them. Accept them. Love them. And, when you do move out, you will take their love and respect with you. You will forever be their son and they will forever be your mother and father. Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve63130 Posted March 26, 2013 Share Posted March 26, 2013 Well here's what happened. Back in October or so I took pictures of myself wearing heels and some other fashionable, but simple clothing to show you guys on the site. But when I uploaded it to the computer using my camera I forgot to delete them from the computer. I put the pictures on my flash drive and totally forgot about the other ones. And the bad thing about that computer was that the screen saver was personal pictures and my parents saw my pictures and definitely had a lot of questions. I just kept telling them "I don't know". They eventually left me alone. But my mom put all my heels in her closet. Some time went by and they caught me looking at heels on the computer. This time my mom actually wanted me to see a psychiatrist, but I refused because I know that there's nothing wrong with me. But one day when everyone was gone I went to her closet to wear my heels and they were gone. I searched everywhere for them and could not find them. They are either hidden really well or they threw them out. Which upsets me a lot. Now I have no heels to wear at all. I want to buy more and hid them better, but im too afraid that she'll see on my bank account. I don't know what to do. I still have a desire to wear them, but I feel like ill never be able to just because of my parents and how afraid I am of what other people are going to say. Especially my friends and co-workers. BeachHeeler, You've made a mistake early in your heeling life, and you've left evidence that let you get caught. But don't consider this a bad thing. The "cat is out of the bag" so to speak, so you need to confess and be honest, not only with your parents but with yourself. I think it's important to note whose money paid for the shoes you had. If you had a job and it was your money, then they are/were your shoes and your parents should not have confiscated them. If they were bought by money you got as an allowance from your parents, then the shoes are viewed by your parents as a misappropriation of their funds and they are rightly upset about it. In my opinion they were within their rights to confiscate the shoes. Nevertheless, your secret is now out: You like high heels. Now you need to come to an understanding with your parents about your new hobby/passion. It will not go away, and you can't ignore it. You need to talk with them. You need to communicate. You may need to compromise. But as long as you live with them, you need to reach an understanding as to what you're permitted or not permitted to do. All the advice that people posted above is good. Please read it again. Honor your parents and do the right things to make them proud of you. They love you, but they do not understand you (yet). Give them time and attention and they probably will, or else you will be old enough to move out and make up your own life's rules. Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeachHeeler Posted March 28, 2013 Author Share Posted March 28, 2013 I bought the shoes with my own money. I have my own job, a good job at that for my age, im a night manager at 19. My parents havnt bought me anything since my junior year of high school. Ive bought anything I ever wanted. Ive bought a lot of parts and repairs for my truck which sometimes run over 1000 dollars. So they cant say I didn't pay for them. I also still payed for all my bills like car insurance, which at my age is not cheap. I do thank everyone for posting it did help me a lot. I think I have a plan though. Im going to be buying a pair of custom cowboy boots with a 3 1/2 inch heel. They will be expensive, but I know it will get my parents used to the whole high heel thing as well as my friends, who don't know yet. This guy does these custom boots, and he allows you to pick the leather, color, heel type, heel height, toe type, and you can customize them in other various ways you want. He can even make them with a 5 inch heel depending on the toe. So it seemed like a good idea to me to get them used to it and it will allow me to still enjoy wearing some type of heel. It will also allow me to get used to wearing them in public which I havnt done yet. I will eventually move on back to booties and womens boots just because I like the skinnier heel and the style, but that will be a little later on down the road. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impala Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 It would be a bad idea to just start wearing another pair of heels without talking about it with your parents. They will find it very disrespectful if you just start over again without asking them anything, and they won't think positively about your heeling. They will really think that it's already an obsession, because to them you seem unable to stop heeling. Have you talked to them about it? You should, I have no other advice. Nothing will change if it's not given the opportunity to change. I hope you can solve this important issue. I guess you already know that like most of men here, heeling will always remain an important thing in your future life. Much of it depends on what you with it in the beginning. Give your parents a reason to accept your heeling, other than just seeing you in heels. Show them how innocent your hobby is, and what positive effects it has on you (how you feel good in them, etc.) I could walk on sunshine, but I chose heels instead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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