Self Delusion?

[saudade]

So I've been reading through the You Are Not So Smart book by David McRaney, http://youarenotsosmart.com/, and in his latest podcast episode #5 he talks with Daniel Simons who wrote The Invisible Gorilla about counterculture. In it he describes the self delusion that we have with authenticity and what amounts to an aversion of mainstream values. A full accounting of those books and the podcast would take too long to do but in short I posit that we are creating our own status symbols of value by wearing high heels as men. If you've not read either of these books, drop everything and start, they're awesome. You will quickly learn your brain is deluding you in many ways but I digress. I couldn't help but compare and contrast things like hipsters/hippies/beatniks/grunge/etc... with the guys here that wear heels, of which I'm one. In a way we are creating our own status symbols of exclusivity of men wearing something not normally associated with masculinity. Much in the same way certain bands start out as no name bands etc and move up to the mainstream. I'm not saying men wearing stilettos is something that will become mainstream anytime soon, if ever even, but in a way our niche/group here has a fair amount of similarities to music lovers searching for something different from the mainstream. Just a random thought, anyway back to other stuff. And like I said, read the books, they're awesome and will quickly show you how you are deluding yourself into believing almost whatever you want. I've had to re-evaluate a number of things in my life after reading it. That and I've learnt my memory is not to be trusted and effectively lies to me.

[SleekHeels]

Perhaps our biggest delusion is the fear that the mainstream will reject us for wearing heels when in fact the vast majority have seemed totally cool about it. Sure on the one hand we might get a buzz from going against the norm, but then we talk so much about acceptance too. It's a complex issue, thanks for bringing it up saudade.

[saudade]

Perhaps our biggest delusion is the fear that the mainstream will reject us for wearing heels when in fact the vast majority have seemed totally cool about it. Sure on the one hand we might get a buzz from going against the norm, but then we talk so much about acceptance too. It's a complex issue, thanks for bringing it up saudade.

Yep he touches on that in the book actually, amongst other delusions (its a really light hearted book, it isn't nearly as fatalistic as you might think, quite humorous). The short end of it is we arrive at a conclusion and support it with "facts" that reinforce that viewpoint and ignore those that don't. I love reading/learning about humans and how imperfect or weird we act.

And I confused the other speaker on the podcast, which reinforces my hatred for my own memory. The guest was Andrew Potter of The Authenticity Hoax. The other guys good too, too many books to read make me go crazy.

[Guest]

Ok but as subcultures goes they often start in one area and spread out, explain ours? Al

[Rockpup]

The short end of it is we arrive at a conclusion and support it with "facts" that reinforce that viewpoint and ignore those that don't.

I've been noticing that quite a bit listening to friends on both sides of the political spectrum recently.

[Dr. Shoe]

This guy has a point and just echoes something I have been sayng all along. Who do we think we are that we are so important to other people that they remotely care what we wear on our feet? This is a delusion. Anyone who thinks people don't notice are also deluded, they do but they just cannot be arsed to do or say anything because it's too much effort! Even if you wear long trousers they still notice even if it's just the way you walk.

[Histiletto]

For sure, I know I have the desire to wear stiletto heels. This is no delusion. For the longest time I was under the delusion that I was the only male with this desire. Then the world opened up to me as I saw and read things by and about other people of similar thoughts. If I didn't have these feelings, my life would have been so lopped-sided, that I would probably be one of the naysayers of male heeling and any male femininity or female masculinity. These are real and part of the human condition and I'm not being delusional in this either.

[AZShoeNut]

I think it is just how the human mind works. Reality is more what we choose to believe than anything else. Funny, today was my sixth time to this coffee house in heels in two weeks. I swore that the guy who runs the place had noticed by now. It wasn't until the gal behind me struck up a conversation about my heels that he came around the counter and looked. I asked hme if he had noticed before and he said that he had not. I wrote the story that he had, beleived that he had, and in fact he hadn't.

[ilikekicks]

I think theres a lot to look at in ' reasoning ' within our own minds. Theres a lot of ' psycho-babble-filled ' people out there with a lot of technical terms, but I believe we all operate differently, thus the variation in our ' individualism '. Saudade : I have plenty of time on my hands, I think I will obtain a copy of that book. It sounds very interesting. SleekHeels : I havent been rejected by anyone Ive known. Some people whom I didnt know ( passer-bys of sorts ) have made some comments, but thats about the length of it for me. I cant explain why others havent been negative. Im sure that some of my friends or family could very well have said something about me wearing heels but Ive NEVER heard about it. Most really could care less so long as I stay the person I am. I cant explain anyone elses reasoning/perception nor how they feel about my footware. Maybe if I evolve a bit more, I might gain a special ability that allows such Dr. Shoe : "This guy has a point and just echoes something I have been sayng all along. Who do we think we are that we are so important to other people that they remotely care what we wear on our feet? This is a delusion. Anyone who thinks people don't notice are also deluded, they do but they just cannot be arsed to do or say anything because it's too much effort! Even if you wear long trousers they still notice even if it's just the way you walk. " Im nobody important. I dont want to be anyone important. I have no need to be anything better then anyone else, just a ' common ' man so to say. I believe theres merit in your stating that people would have to put an effort into saying something about what we wear and that it just takes too much energy/time or what have us to do so. HiStiletto : I had an idea back in 1989. I was living on Okinawa, Japan. I kept my mouth shut because I thought this idea of a simple item that I could sell would bring in a LOT of money. It was a heated toilet seat. I woke up one night and contrar to some peoples thoughts, Oki gets cold at night. The lousy toilet seat chapped my ass because it was FREEZING! I can up with a simple plan/design and had it all worked out. When I came back to the States ( U.S. ) they were already on shelves. Someone was already making them and selling them. My point is.. if we feel or think of something, were usually not the first or only one to feel/think about something the way we do. You stated " For the longest time I was under the delusion that I was the only male with this desire. " and you were quite correct IMO. AZShoeNut : " I think it is just how the human mind works. Reality is more what we choose to believe than anything else. ". Do you remember what you were thinking after the very FIRST time you saw the movie ' The Matrix '.? After surgery and while I was in recovery, I was VERY sore. Its the second time the region in question was worked on. The Surgeon and I go a few years back and I would go as far to say we are ' friends '. He gave me a ' Narcotic ' for the pain. I dont know what it is but Ive done LSD in my younger years and it was VERY similar. I dont think reality is what we choose it to be, but more as what our thoughts construct it to be. The old question of ' If a tree falls in a forest and theres nobody around, does it make any noise? '. The simple answer is ' what tree and what forest? '. If we have never seen THAT tree or been in THAT forest, it doesnt matter to us.

[saudade]

Ok but as subcultures goes they often start in one area and spread out, explain ours?

Al

The subculture example isn't perfect mind you. But it fits with the example of organic food subculture prior to it becoming mainstream.

My analogy with things here is I've observed the same behavior of "moving the goalposts". Where what once was unique, rare, unknown becomes passe and people push to new extremes.

I'd say this counterculture suffers mainly from extreme obscurity and other societal hindrances to acceptance.

I think theres a lot to look at in ' reasoning ' within our own minds. Theres a lot of ' psycho-babble-filled ' people out there with a lot of technical terms, but I believe we all operate differently, thus the variation in our ' individualism '.

It is loads better than any Malcolm Gladwell book I've read. The bibliography section actually has citations to actual studies to back up his claims. Think of it along the lines of Your Inner Fish by Neil Shubin but for human behavioral psychology.

And if you've not read that book, get it, its short and also taught me why humans hiccough and tons of other interesting "weird human biology quirks" that only make sense once you look at the entirety of evolution.

I realized I might read too much. >.<

I think all you guys are deluded about being deluded about being deluded in the first place! How's that for a delusion!?

There is only one response appropriate to post, you're delusional!

Fortunately, so is the rest of the human race so we're all in good company.

[SleekHeels]

I think all you guys are deluded about being deluded about being deluded in the first place! How's that for a delusion!?

Anyone who thinks people don't notice are also deluded, they do but they just cannot be arsed to do or say anything because it's too much effort!

I wonder if it sometimes can even go beyond simple laziness. I can imagine that in big cosmpolitan cities someone who exclaims "Oh My God, that guy's wearing heels!" might well get a response from their companions along the lines of "Yeah, whatever" or even "That's quite cool", like it's embarassing to be so square that you're shocked by something like that, even moreso if a lone person makes that exclamation surrounded by strangers. Most social situations would inhibit most people from making remarks, I think that's what makes wearing heels in normal everyday scenarios pretty straightforward once you take the plunge. Certainly it's a delusion to think that you're safer heeling in dark streets in the middle of the night than you are walking through a shopping mall in broad daylight (as the good Dr. Shoe has pointed out before).

I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's important to be aware of our delusions about heeling because they impair our ability to make sensible decisions about our personal safety, or even just our interactions with those around us. Also we can sometimes entertain little delusions to give us the confidence to break new ground and shape our reality - if you behave like you're confident, people will see confidence, and that will build your "real" confidence.

[Curt]

That is so true! Its all about confidence. I wore my 4.5" platform heels to the grocery store with my dad, in his small town. A woman looked at me 3 different times! She was probably lusting over my shoes! So, just be yourself and dress the way is makes you happy! I'm sure a lot of people frown upon women wearing shoes that are really out there.

[SleekHeels]

That's makes me think: "Make them question their reaction, not what shoes you're wearing".