CRabbit Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 Hello all! I'm a 30year old IT professional from central England with a passion and love for heels that dates back to my early teens where I've worn and owned my own since leaving high school. Unfortunately I have to keep (and have always kept) my love for heels to an absolute secret as my wife many years ago gave me the ultimatum - her or the heels. We have a child together (4years old) and love each other dearly so putting footwear between us wasn't an option and the chance of making my child's life difficult because of my personal fashion choices isn't going to happen. Thankfully I work a long way from home (over an hours commute each way) so I've got both the time during the drive and perhaps a quiet walk before/after work where I can be myself without it impacting our lives - my wife still believes years on that I've not taken a single step in heels since 'that chat' but what she doesn't know wont hurt her eh? I've been dropping onto HHplace for an age, watching folks making progress with their confidence to wear their shoes out or experiment with their dress sense and it's really helped me to find who I wanted to be after decades of feeling like an absolute freak (a sensation that thankfully passed a long time ago!) and after signing up a while ago I thought it time to say hello and start to contribute too! Naturally, I'm exceedingly jealous of you gents out there with supporting partners and in admiration of the ladies who are open minded enough to get past the "what would the neighbours/friends/family think" mentality. My personal preference with shoes: Basically anything with a closed toe. My whole collection is in black (5pairs) but would love the chance to experiment with color. Looking forward to getting to know you all a little better... C.
Shafted Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 Welcome aboard, CRabbit! Lots of men here in the same boat. You're not alone. Shafted, the boots that is! View my gallery here http://www.hhplace.o...afteds-gallery/ or view my heeling thread here http://www.hhplace.org/topic/3850-new-pair-of-boots-starts-me-serious-street-heeling/ - Pm me if you want fashion advice or just need someone to talk to.
CRabbit Posted June 6, 2011 Author Posted June 6, 2011 @Shafted: Yes, I've come to realise I'm very much in the same position as many men here at HHplace who find themselves in a relationship that oppresses their passion. *daydreams about mens heels becoming high-street fashion* - yea, I know... @jsauvage: Not as often as I'd personally like but she does make a good effort when we go out. She spends almost all days entirely in flats, which is a crying shame, and she is utterly unable to balance in a stiletto heel - every shoe is a more sensible heal size no higher than 4inch (3inch without platform). Beyond our footwear differences though we're brilliant match
roniheels Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 CRabitt, Welcome to High Heel Place. Thank you for the introduction and insight into your personal being, especially concerning your enjoyment of high heels. I would, very carefully, be honest and upfront with your wife. If the ultimatum still exists, you need to decide if your enjoyment of high heels outweighs the future of your marriage. As Shafted says, don't deel alone. There are others in this same boat. Good luck to you.
Foxyheels Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 Welcome, seems to be several of us from central England about. shame your wife is against heels but you seem to have found a way around it. High heels are the shoes I choose to put on, respect my choice as I repect yours.
SleekHeels Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 Welcome CRabbit. For sure in an ideal world there wouldn't need to be ultimatums and secrets and social stigma, but reality doesn't always work out that way. I really admire that you've tried to find the best balance you can under the circumstances and not let the desire for heels eat up all the other positive things in your life. Relationships and individuals are dynamic and I hope in time your wife will be more accepting. If it's not rude of me to ask, what prompted "the chat", did you approach the subject or did she catch you? If you like it, wear it.
Shafted Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 @Shafted: Yes, I've come to realise I'm very much in the same position as many men here at HHplace who find themselves in a relationship that oppresses their passion. *daydreams about mens heels becoming high-street fashion* - yea, I know... I'm not about to berate you. If where you are at is where you are happy, then I'm happy for you. I understand. Shafted, the boots that is! View my gallery here http://www.hhplace.o...afteds-gallery/ or view my heeling thread here http://www.hhplace.org/topic/3850-new-pair-of-boots-starts-me-serious-street-heeling/ - Pm me if you want fashion advice or just need someone to talk to.
CRabbit Posted June 7, 2011 Author Posted June 7, 2011 Hi folks, @Roniheels: My family has and always will take priority and I try to ensure my personal fashion tastes will never clash with that. My marriage and family mean the world to me. On the other hand, I feel that while ever there is a negligible chance of being seen by someone who knows me & my family - for example in a service station almost 60miles from home that I often pass while working at a client's location - then I will quietly indulge in my passion. I try to quietly mention the topic once every 18months or so, so that she still knows where I'm at with it. The answer is the same every time though. @SleekHeels: Thanks for the welcome. I was caught, yes, by a college friend of all people. I went shopping in a pair of stiletto boots and he noticed. He wasn't freaked out by it but was a little on edge until we talked about it more a few days later. Up until that point nobody who personally knew me or my wife (she didn't either) had even the slightest notion of my passion, not even my wife! It was at that point I thought best to tell her so at least there was no surprises if it ever got back to her. Perhaps it wasn't the smartest move - heeling in public without her knowing. The difference now is I just do it further from home. @Shafted: I'm always happy to hear people's personal opinions and I always take what they say in a positive way. Feel free to share your thoughts, I'd love to hear them. C
hh4evr1 Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 Welcome. Hope one day your wife may be ok with you wearing heels.
Addicted2HHs Posted June 9, 2011 Posted June 9, 2011 Hi CRabbit. Welcome to our Home away from Home. I decided after 6months of heeling in secret to tell my wife of 35 years of my new enjoyment. I could never find shoes to fit in South Africa, Finaly the internet. I thought i would have some opposition, But it nearly led to devorce. I handled it like a twit by appearing in front of her one evening wearing 5" stilettos. 1 year a lot of love lots of squabbles, more fights, More love lots of TLC more attention etc, and i was told that i could wear them when i give her a massage or foot rub etc. Tit for tat I believe it is called. I also had to promise that the children that live in Scotland and New zealand, the family the maid none of the neighbours etc may ever know, and now I may wear them in the house or when I am driving.(That is always a rush as she can't drive in heels) She basically still does not really like it but realised that it won't effect our relationship, and I love heeling. What I am saying is take it realy slow. Have patience and in time the most unlikely things may come true. Untill then, enjoy what you have and specially the love of your family.
jay jay Posted June 9, 2011 Posted June 9, 2011 Hi CRabbit. Welcome to our Home away from Home. I decided after 6months of heeling in secret to tell my wife of 35 years of my new enjoyment. I could never find shoes to fit in South Africa, Finaly the internet. I thought i would have some opposition, But it nearly led to devorce. I handled it like a twit by appearing in front of her one evening wearing 5" stilettos. 1 year a lot of love lots of squabbles, more fights, More love lots of TLC more attention etc, and i was told that i could wear them when i give her a massage or foot rub etc. Tit for tat I believe it is called. I also had to promise that the children that live in Scotland and New zealand, the family the maid none of the neighbours etc may ever know, and now I may wear them in the house or when I am driving.(That is always a rush as she can't drive in heels) She basically still does not really like it but realised that it won't effect our relationship, and I love heeling. What I am saying is take it realy slow. Have patience and in time the most unlikely things may come true. Untill then, enjoy what you have and specially the love of your family. Hi there as we were tslking, I am glad that it turned out not fully the way you wanted it, but a least you can wear them again. Do share some pics with us. Jay jay
partyshoes Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 Hi CRabbit. She basically still does not really like it but realised that it won't effect our relationship, and I love heeling. What I am saying is take it realy slow. Have patience and in time the most unlikely things may come true. Untill then, enjoy what you have and specially the love of your family. Wise word Addicted2HHs .. I think we all live in hope of the day that our wives who do not accept realise this ... shoes dont change us! CRabbitt, welcome from me too - thanks for sharing and look forward to hearing more from you Gingers Rogers did everything Fred Astair did .. but backwards and in heels
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