StormClaw Posted May 7, 2011 Share Posted May 7, 2011 Was my friends question to me tonight when we went out. Last week he found out I like to wear boots,didnt tell him straight up,just left the boots ,in my avatar, in my car,we got in my car and he asked "who's are these"(holding up the boots).I looked at him and told him its mine I like to wear them and he seemed cool about it.So I thought..... Tonight was the first time he saw me in them.Thought I'd do it subtle and wore them under my jeans, while driving he asked if I'm comfortable wearing them,not in the way of how they fit and the 5 inch heel,but wearing them in public where people could see me. He was clearly not comfortable but being his best friend he didnt want me to feel obligated to take them off. But I took them off anyway for his sake,how my friends feel is important to me.I tried explaining that Im attracted to heels and boots,have been since I was young.So I wear them 1.I like the feel,2. like the look and 3. im comfy in them. See both of us were raised in South Africa with the close mind set,whats right,wrong,mens clothes ,womens clothes, what our parents say is right,their way or the high way .Needles to say my parents doesnt know about my heel/boot love at all. After a while in the bar he thanked me for taking them off,he sort of understands why but I could see he doenst 100%.Guess he was also worried about what other people would think if they saw one guy dressed fully man and another guy with boots. My other friends are fine with it.Wore my thighboots infront of my other friend,he was fine.His fiance,my best female friend is also supportive,they are your boots,they look nice so wear them. We ended up having a great time,met other friends and joined them,so the boots didnt ruin the night.So how can I make my friend feel comfortable about me wearing boots.Im considering not wearing boots around him,but how can I explain it to him or make him feel more comfortable about the fact that I like to wear womens boots and heels? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thighbootguy Posted May 7, 2011 Share Posted May 7, 2011 We are all sensitive to different things. That’s one of the things that make us individuals. There are also levels of sensitivity from not liking something to being offended by something or taking violent action against something. It sounds like you respected your friend’s sensitivity to being in a bar with you while you were wearing thigh boots. When I’m out by myself, I try to not be around people that are obviously offended at what I’m wearing. You never know when you are going to encounter that one that will take violent action. As to your how to question… You might start by wearing a more conservative pair of boots. Consider a pair of black knee high boots with a moderate block heels or thigh boots with a flat heel. Once you friend is comfortable with that look then move on to something more daring. I dream of a world where chickens can cross roads without having their motives questioned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve63130 Posted May 7, 2011 Share Posted May 7, 2011 Frequent exposure without going public is one answer. Your friend will eventually get used to them if he sees you in the boots often enough, when you're just with him. Push the envelope very slowly - take baby steps and watch out for his comfort zone. Eventually, he'll figure out that it's no big deal. You might even try to get him to wear them to see what they're like! Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Histiletto Posted May 7, 2011 Share Posted May 7, 2011 StormClaw, With your friend just knowing that you, as a guy, wears heels, it kind of opens the door for him to realize heeling is also a guy thing. However, had you forced the issue of heeling in public, his embarrassment wouldn't have helped your relationship with him and possibly wouldn't lead to anything better later. Now you can at least discuss your heeling with him on some level. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StormClaw Posted May 7, 2011 Author Share Posted May 7, 2011 Thanks for the help guys.Appreciate it a lot. Ill try a combination of what you guys said.Ill wear them more subtle boots,4inch wedges more often if its just the two of us.Like steve said, I dont want to trample over his comfort zone.He is my best friend and I his,so both of us care what how the other one feels.So forcing heeling in public aint going to happen Had a good talk with my other friend that understands.Asked him if he is botherd or not,and he said no.So atleast I can wear boots when out with him. Well thanks again for the responses.Ill keep you posted on how it goes with both of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StormClaw Posted May 7, 2011 Author Share Posted May 7, 2011 You might even try to get him to wear them to see what they're like! Steve Just re-read the post,yea thats not going to happen.He has a huge foot.He is like 2m long,Think over 6feet.He wears a US size 13/14 and I US 11 haha so thats not going to happen with my heels. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SleekHeels Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 I'd guess he'd feel more aware of his discomfort if it's just the two of you going somewhere, so maybe going out as part of a group with your other friends would help to put him at ease with the idea. If you like it, wear it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danielp6406 Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 Stormclaw, I think you did the best thing by removing your boots to make your friend at ease. I also agree with SleekHeels about going out with other friends. You may want to try once to see if his perception toward heels remains the same or not. If not, then I think it would be best not to force him to accept the fact you like to wear heels. A while ago I told one of my best friend about my passion for heels. He did not freak out but says "Heels look nice but they are not made for us (men)". From that point, I never discussed or wore heels when I was with him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StormClaw Posted May 8, 2011 Author Share Posted May 8, 2011 Well daniel thats how i think its going to be now.We wont talk about heels in specific but still mention a lady in beautiful heels.I get what you guys are saying about the group.Will try it sometime,but until then Ill keep with more subtle boots.See if he gets used to it or not. Thats what I had on last night,with the boots underneath. http://i844.photobucket.com/albums/ab7/serunox/Boots%20and%20Heels/IMAG0068.jpg This is how I showed up at my other friends' house,took him by suprise haha but he was cool with it. http://i844.photobucket.com/albums/ab7/serunox/Boots%20and%20Heels/IMG_89741600x1200.jpg 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danielp6406 Posted May 9, 2011 Share Posted May 9, 2011 ...Thats what I had on last night,with the boots underneath. http://i844.photobucket.com/albums/ab7/serunox/Boots%20and%20Heels/IMAG0068.jpg This is how I showed up at my other friends' house,took him by suprise haha but he was cool with it. http://i844.photobucket.com/albums/ab7/serunox/Boots%20and%20Heels/IMG_89741600x1200.jpg What a big contrast between both pictures ! Picture 1: Maybe next time with shorter jeans just to show a "little bit" of heels ? What did your friend say when he saw you wearing these boots ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StormClaw Posted May 10, 2011 Author Share Posted May 10, 2011 What a big contrast between both pictures ! Picture 1: Maybe next time with shorter jeans just to show a "little bit" of heels ? What did your friend say when he saw you wearing these boots ? Reason why I wore those jeans is to hide them If I want to show them off I'll wear them like in picture 2. He didnt say much at first.Asked him what he thought,"they are very pointy haha".Other than that he wasn't botherd at all.Its my other friend who's uncomfortable.I wear all my boots under jeans to hide them,but a decent eye will be able to tell they are boots. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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