highheelfan Posted August 2, 2003 Posted August 2, 2003 Hi All, I've been mostly a lurker on the boards and a secret heel wearer. But today I told my girlfriend that I enjoyed wearing heels. We were in Manchester together most of the afternoon. I'd been dragged round a load of clothes shops all day. We stopped at a cafe and my girlfriend said she couldn't walk much more in her heels. She wears high heels a lot and she's always saying that she's used to them and its no big deal for her. I made a joke about it and she laughed but I dropped it there. When we got back home and she'd taken the shoes off I started to tease her about not been as used to heels as she said she was. We were laughing about it when she asked if I could have done better. It ended up with me walking round the house in the pair of pink court shoes she was wearing today. They're one size to small for me but they fit quite well. I've been wearing heels in secret for about a year now so I was pretty used to wearing heels this high, but I pretended to be having a hard time walking in them. After about two hours in her shoes she was wondering if my feet were sore. She was a bit shocked when I told her I was OK. She thought I was joking when I said that I was enjoying wearing the shoes and that I wanted to keep them on. I still have them on, it's been been about six hours now, and my girlfriend doesn't seem to mind. Hopefully she might let me wear some of her shoes from now on.
texasbumpkin Posted August 3, 2003 Posted August 3, 2003 Good for you. How did it go? Anything else yet? I stumbled upon it. Not literally, well kind of. Not the shoes atleast. I was using his computer and hit the address bar, and POOF, all kinds of shoe web sites. And I asked him if he wore them. He was stunned, this was like the third day that I had known him. He said yes and I said cool. I was always a sucker for Tim Curry in Rocky Horror when he was coming down in the elevator.
Alex Posted August 3, 2003 Posted August 3, 2003 Next ask her if you can wear the heels outside I wish I was a size 10
Arctic Posted August 3, 2003 Posted August 3, 2003 Good strategy, HHfan...! What's all the fuss about?
Julietta Posted August 3, 2003 Posted August 3, 2003 That is such a great and possitive story. I love to hear of stories like that as it gives others, like you, the power to their own personal freedom Please keep us informed of how you progress J xxx Let calm be widespread May the sea glisten like greenstone And the shimmer of summer Dance across your pathway "Communication is a two way thing"
highheelfan Posted August 3, 2003 Author Posted August 3, 2003 Thanks to all for your positive comments! I wasn't really sure what to expect this morning, but my girlfriend still seems to be positive about all this. The subject didn't some up for a while, but at breakfast Lisa asked me if I was being serious last night. We talked about it for a while, she wasn't sure if I was just into shoes or if I was a full CD. But the end result was her telling me that I could borrow any of her shoes if I wanted to. She let me go through her shoes and try them on. I tried on practically every pair of shoes, boots and sandals she owns. Though she's one size smaller than me most seem to fit me well. I've spent most of this morning if a pair of black court shoes from River Island. According to the website the heels are four and a half inches. Hopefully this pic will load. I'll let you all know what happens from here on.
highheelfan Posted August 3, 2003 Author Posted August 3, 2003 Hi Alex! I don't think that I'll be able to wear these shoes in public. I'm a law student and I also work at a solicitors. Quite a few of my neighbours are people that I work with or come into contact with professionally, so I'm careful to keep up appearances. I have tried going out late at night in some of my own heels but I spent so much time worrying about who I might bump into that I didn't enjoy the experience much. For now I think I'll have to make do with clicking around the house.
Alex Posted August 3, 2003 Posted August 3, 2003 I was only joking I haven't worn mine outside either, so I know what it's like. Those are a nice pair of heels you were able to wear. Are you sure you are wearing the right size in shoes? You said she's a size smaller than you, but maybe you're actually her size and never knew it. I wish I was a size 10
Bubba136 Posted August 4, 2003 Posted August 4, 2003 There other styles of women's shoes besides heels that you could wear in public that would be perfectly acceptable to anyone anywhere. Penny loafers for instance. I started with penny loafers with 1½" heels and, after I gained confidence, graduated to the higher heels. Still not in public in stiletto pumps, slings or other obviously feminine styles. But then I haven't worn a pair of men's shoes in several years, either. Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public.
dimpantyhose Posted August 4, 2003 Posted August 4, 2003 hi highheelfan, I want to say that you are really lucky to have a girlfriend/wife open-minded. Me too, I wear high heels in secret while my girlfriend works. But, the only thing is I can't wear her high heels. She wear women US 6 (36-37) and me 39-40 (US 9 - women US 7), so, I must purchase high heels and hide them (it's a difficult task. I always scared). I really want to wear high heels while my girlfriend are at home. I don't know who she will react about that. Everyone, do you have an idea about who I could announce to her that?
Nicole Posted August 5, 2003 Posted August 5, 2003 hi highheelfan, I want to say that you are really lucky to have a girlfriend/wife open-minded. Me too, I wear high heels in secret while my girlfriend works. But, the only thing is I can't wear her high heels. She wear women US 6 (36-37) and me 39-40 (US 9 - women US 7), so, I must purchase high heels and hide them (it's a difficult task. I always scared). I really want to wear high heels while my girlfriend are at home. I don't know who she will react about that. Everyone, do you have an idea about who I could announce to her that? My solution was to tell my wife before we started to get too serious, and certainly before we started to live with her. She doesn't like it, but our current arrangement is tolerable for the most part. The bottom line is that this is something your girlfriend should (imo) know about, and soon. It's probably best to get her relaxed, and get to the point gently. You might want to find out what her views are in general on men wearing heels before you do. the truth shall make you fret
dimpantyhose Posted August 5, 2003 Posted August 5, 2003 Thank you Nicole for your point of view, I appreciate
Bubba136 Posted August 5, 2003 Posted August 5, 2003 dimpantyhose, there's a whole thoughtful thread on this subject on Jenny's forum (from which this forum is a spin-off ) at http://members3.boardhost.com/jennyheels/ The second thread from the top "My Story" by Confessions. A lot of very good advice and opinions there. Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public.
highheelfan Posted August 5, 2003 Author Posted August 5, 2003 hi highheelfan, I want to say that you are really lucky to have a girlfriend/wife open-minded. Me too, I wear high heels in secret while my girlfriend works. But, the only thing is I can't wear her high heels. She wear women US 6 (36-37) and me 39-40 (US 9 - women US 7), so, I must purchase high heels and hide them (it's a difficult task. I always scared). I really want to wear high heels while my girlfriend are at home. I don't know who she will react about that. Everyone, do you have an idea about who I could announce to her that? It all depends on how you think your girlfriend will react. If you think that she won't handle it well then my advice would be to say nothing. I was nervous telling my girlfriend that I actually liked wearing high heels but because it started out as a joke I found it easier. I'd suggest something like wearing heels to a fancy dress party. Then if you think it's the right time you could tell her that you actually like wearing high heels and take it from there. If you think that you have a future with her then it's best that you don't hide this from her. Good look and let us know how you get on
hoverfly Posted August 5, 2003 Posted August 5, 2003 It's a 50/50 chance now. Dammed if you do, dammed if you don't. But telling her before she finds out will lesson shock, if there is any. Also telling her first will give you some control over it will give you a better chance to explain your self and most likely she will lesion. But if she finds out before you tell her, it might be to hot to handle and all is lost. Hello,  my name is Hoverfly. I’m a high heel addict…. Weeeeeeeeeee!  👠1998 to 2022!
Yamyam Posted August 6, 2003 Posted August 6, 2003 I think it's always best to confess, rather than wait until you get caught. I've told two ex-girlfriends, and they've seemed okay about it all. One even joined the board... Now, of course, I'm with Julietta, and she's quite happy about it all. I didn't have to tell her about me & heels, obviously, but we have talked about it, and we keep talking about it. Obsessed is such a strong word. I prefer to think of myself as "differently enthusiastic"
dimpantyhose Posted August 7, 2003 Posted August 7, 2003 So, the only method is to getting straight and telling my girlfriend (when the opportunity will occur) about that I like to wear high heels at home. Its really 50/50. Yikes
Alex Posted August 7, 2003 Posted August 7, 2003 It's better than waiting years then telling her after she finds out I wish I was a size 10
Julietta Posted August 7, 2003 Posted August 7, 2003 Forgive me if I'm wrong guys but I'd have thought that you would all have more problems from other males than us females. Ok some females would react badly but most of us, if we love someone, accepts differences even if we don't like it ourselves - in my case I can't stand or even pretent to understand football but then I've been lucky so far as no one I've ever been with has liked it anyway (another wonderful thing about Yam) but I'd leave them to it anyway and go out with my friends for a girly night anyway or failing that go and buy myself a nice new pair of shoes Let calm be widespread May the sea glisten like greenstone And the shimmer of summer Dance across your pathway "Communication is a two way thing"
dimpantyhose Posted August 8, 2003 Posted August 8, 2003 You are right Julietta! My girlfriend really loves me. I think the worst is that she will react badly for a couple of minutes and after then, accept me with that difference. This doesn't make me different in the real life, just a bit different in my private life.
zathrus69 Posted August 8, 2003 Posted August 8, 2003 It's better than waiting years then telling her after she finds out I couldn't agree more. It's really painful to see the woman you love virtually destroyed apon finding out your little secret. It would be fair to say that things haven't been the same since she found me out but we are still together. I wish I had a time machine though. I'd go back and put things right at the start.....but then she might not have continued to go out with me...hmmmm....probably best if I destroy that Flux Capacitor I was building in the shed :-) Zathrus
Yamyam Posted August 8, 2003 Posted August 8, 2003 Well, you'll never know what would have happened if you make a different decision. I think it's best to tell all, throw yourself on your partner's mercy, and hope that your relationship survives. Obsessed is such a strong word. I prefer to think of myself as "differently enthusiastic"
Bubba136 Posted August 8, 2003 Posted August 8, 2003 zathrus69 wrote:It's really painful to see the woman you love virtually destroyed apon finding out your little secret. It would be fair to say that things haven't been the same since she found me out but we are still together. I wish I had a time machine though. I'd go back and put things right at the start.. That says it all. So, you guys that have an opportunity to set it straight from the "get go," do it right from the begining. Better to have a woman that accepts your heels from the very start than to worry about how you're going to live and make those alimony payments. Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public.
sscotty727 Posted September 15, 2003 Posted September 15, 2003 I agree with telling her. I told my wife (girlfriend at the time) and at first she thought it was odd, and even broke up with me over it (was afraid I would somehow turn into a full CD or was secretly gay) and would be a bad father. In less than 12 hours though (after she slept on it I think) she called me back and begged me to forgive her and take her back. We celebrate our 13th year married (17 years together) this October. We also have two WONDERFUL daughters now. She does let me slide with non-femine women's shoes infront of them and outside, she still wouldn't like the idea of me wearing high heels in front of the girls or outside (see my thread "Suggestions on first time"). You will be surprised though how open women are. As a matter of fact, she buys all my shoes for me, I just have to tell her which ones (I still get nervous going in by myself, although I just read another post about squarish heels that I am thinking of trying tonight). Good luck!
Anita C. Posted November 4, 2003 Posted November 4, 2003 TELL HER-NOW!! The longer you wait, the more difficult it becomes because of the fear of rejection. Conversely, think of HER & her wnts/needs. Is this more than she wanted to sign on for? Otherwise YOU'LL be happy and SHE'LL feel odd or she'll be thinking things are ok when they are not. "Spike Heels . . a Pork-pie hat . . Have on the mend in no time flat . . Ten Minutes 'Till The Savages Come by Manhatten Transfer.
mk4625 Posted November 4, 2003 Posted November 4, 2003 Sometimes you may live to regret telling her, or worse wearing them in front of her and having her freak out. That's what happened with my ex-girlfriend Jean. There can be one of the following outcomes. 1. She accepts you, and allows you to wear your boots. 2. She accepts you, but your boots have got to go. 3. She says "bye bye". The second outcome happened with Kathy. However that didn't affect the relationship except to establish the limits of what was acceptable to her. Luckily she has been accommodating in every other respect, including wearing her shoes and boots during sex so that I won't miss my own. Michael
unknown Posted December 5, 2003 Posted December 5, 2003 At least you got the momentum going...with some positive results. Good on you.
Jinx Posted December 5, 2003 Posted December 5, 2003 I suggest you to tell your secret to your GF/wife. Thats what I did in first place with my current wife. That time we haven't had even met yet, we were just chatting online and talking over phone... and I decided to tell her my passion for shoes (and that time also for crossdressing) and she had no problem with that at all... Her acceptance was one big point for me to keep going on with her even we had lots of troubles in our relationship. Now we are happily married and she has turn out to be sort of shoe fan too, not as deeply as I am but still. But its funny how things change. I have not crossdressed for several years now, and one night I joked about me going to bar dressed as woman and she totally freaked out... she didn't take that as a joke and for some reason idea of me wearing women clothes, wig, makeup, etc. was not okay for her anymore, even she has known my CD/TV background from early beginning. Actually that really does not matter as I'm not doing draq anymore Just an example how things can change. I also have been talking to her about me wearing heels outdoor... so far she does not accept the idea, atleast she will not join me if I go out in heels... but then again funny part; I was telling her about this board and advices people share here, how to wear heels with longer jeans etc, and that was not problem at all for her. Last time we were shopping, she suggested for my to buy longer jeans... but still idea of me going out wearing heels and those longer jeans, she suggested for me to buy (which I did by the way), is not ok for her... Can man ever really understand women...??? Just my 2 cents.
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