She Can't Wear Heels Anymore!

[RonC]

I am a confessed high heel addict. I find nothing more attractive or stimulating than a lady in a nice pair of classic pumps or spike heel sandals. Not extreme heels, just nice practical heels that one could wear on a regular basis. I have been blessed with a wife who, for the most part, was willing to indulge my desires and has been a long time heel wearer (though not too many spike heels since they went out of style). Unfortunately, arthritic knees and a foot condition called something like Morton's Neuroma have put a complete end to her heel wearing. While I am trying not to let her know my disappointment, I have been depressed about six months now. I have lost desire for her (yeah, I know that's shallow, but I can't help it). I just can't bear to see her in nothing but ugly, clunkly loafers and stretch material shoes with rubber soles (can it get any worse). I don't know what to do any more. I know I have become distant to her, but I can't help it. Does anyone have any suggestions?

[Firefox]

Try to satisfy your desires for heels in other ways and concentrate on the many positive qualities your wife still has. After all you owe it to her to love and cherish her in spite of her ill health, she's still the same person underneath _________________ Believe in your right to wear what you want <font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Firefox on 2002-02-18 21:22 ]</font>

[hoverfly]

My wife her self is already having foot and knee problems from being a Nurses aid. It's going to be a sad day when she can't wear high heels any more. I will still all ways love her because there has all ways been something else to look at. The inside. Talk to your wife, see if she is willing to wear them once in a while where she does not have to walk a lot? Carry a pair of flats, or maybe just in the bed room? If she dose, be sympathetic when she is in pain. Go get the car instead of having her walking to the parking lot for example. Do something after wards to relive the pain. Pampering works very well. A good foot rub or a hot bath with self service? If she says no, then the problem is probably bad enough that you are going have to find something else in her to be attracted to. For your self, I find the shoping malls are a good place for Entertainment. All good things must come to an end...Bummer! <font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: hoverfly on 2002-02-19 03:55 ]</font>

[Debbie(HK)]

Hiya Ron, You have to remember that it it the person that you should love and not just the heels. Although you like them and it isn't possible for her to go out in her heels may be it would still be ok for her to wear them at home whilst sitting down to a dinner you have cooked her? You need to talk to her about it, I'm sure that if you told her your feelings then you could sort it out. Good luck! Debbie

[Highluc]

Due to a military butcher who operated my wife on her ankles more than a decade ago, completely messing it up forever and having grandgreen develop before the cast was removed, she is also stuck in flats now. I still love her and wear the heels myself now. I can assure you I have more pleasure now than watching her moving in heels before.

[RonC]

Thanks to all who replied. Don't misunderstand, I still love my wife dearly. But how can one put aside the one thing that, more than any other, rings one's chimes? Sure, she will wear them while making love, but you know, it's kinda like having a roller coaster that you can only look at, and not ride. As much as I'd like, I just can't change my desire. But I'll have to come to grips with it eventually I guess!

[terayon]

why not wear heels yourself? =)

[RonC]

It just isn't the same, you know?

[Shoeiee]

Hello Ron, I'm sorry to hear of your situation. That is a shame to say the least!! I understand your love for your wife and also for her to wear heels, are both very strong. I also know just how important her wearing heels can be, in and of themselves. Things to think about are reading materials, role playing, physical therapy for her (depending on what this condition actually is...) and counseling. I'm not a shrink (or trying to line their pockets either...) but counseling about this situation may be the best suggestion I have. Good luck and best wishes for you and your wife.

[Charlie]

I've seen countless old couples still together and enjoying their journey through life. I'm certain that whatever originally turned them on about each other faded with age decades ago. Why are they still together? It's likely the depth of their relationship developed steadily along the way. People today expect the wedding night excitement to last for a life time. No wonder there's so many divorces! Reality check please! Charlie

[RonC]

I hardly need a reality check Charlie. We will have our 30 anniversary in July. It's not quite a flash in the pan situation.

[Charlie]

Sorry RonC! That's what I get for jumping to conclusions! I mistook you for a much younger guy after reading your post. What I replied with obviously doesn't apply directly to you. For the vast majority, however, it still stands. Being together as long as you and your wife have, I can only imagine that the depth your relationship has to have reached will overcome this setback. Best of luck friend! Charlie <font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Charlie on 2002-02-26 00:40 ]</font>

[Tacchi Alti]

This is really encouraging, to hear so much genuine affection. We've been married 15 years and our love has deepened as we've experienced the ups and downs together. She tries to accept my heel-wearing, and hardly looks at my shoes now as I wear heels most of the time at home. Also she herself wears higher heels most of the time - not high high, about 2.5 inches, but she used to flop around in flats and almost flats. My good influence?? I know it irritates her that I can walk - and run! - around in 4-inch heels as if they were flats, when she can't take the steep angle of the foot when she tries my shoes on.

[Carolyn]

Really Ron! How can you think of your wife like this. Love her forever, not her shoes. I'm sure you can satisfy your desires for shoes in other ways as the posters have said. ~Caz

[RonC]

Well Carolyn, it's not like I'm running off to find a younger, high heel wearing model. It's just that, after all of these years, it's difficult for me to accept. And actually, maybe it's her "oh well, you won't see me wearing those things anymore" attitude that's getting to me. It wouldn't even be so bad if the shoes she were buying now were a bit feminine, but it's like - hey, I can't wear thin heels anymore, so I'm gonna find the butt ugliest things I can and wear them cause they're comfortable. She could at least try to find a compromise of some nature. What's amazing is, even the butt ugly blockly loafer type things she is wearing have a 2.5" or so heel, yet she claims they are comfortable. Seems to me that the height of the heel would have much more impact than the width. Are blockly, clunky things that much more comfortable? <font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: RonC on 2002-03-06 20:47 ]</font>

[Highluc]

I never felt any relation between the width of the heel and the overall comfort. I've got 4-inch ultra thin stiletto boots that feel more comfortable as some of my 3-inch chunky heels. Comfort mostly depends on the fit of the shoe, although for me a well suported lower arch with nice curvature plays a lot of importance.